Santa in a Stetson (13 page)

While Matt helped Kathryn to the table, Colt helped his daughter. Noreen brought the ribs from the kitchen. Ed said grace and they were ready to eat.

For the next half hour, conversation centered around the twins and their latest activities. Kathryn mostly listened, only now and then asking a question. Throughout the delicious meal she avoided looking at Colt.

Once they'd sung “Happy Birthday” and had eaten cake, Matt and Allie took turns giving their dad a present to open. Every gift appeared to be a winner: a robe, sweats, cologne, socks, a Western shirt, leather gloves, ski gloves, new ski goggles, a couple of T-shirts…everything for the well-dressed rancher.

Kathryn finally dared to smile at Colt. “That's quite
a haul. I think it's time somebody else around here got a present.” Five pairs of eyes blinked in surprise. “Matt? Will you hand one of those cylinders to Noreen and Ed? Then give one to Allie and take one for yourself.”

While everyone started unwrapping their gifts, Colt stared at Kathryn with a bemused expression on his rugged face.

The responses were everything she could have hoped for. Cries of “Dad! Colt!” resounded as they unraveled the posters of the beloved man seated at the head of the table. “Oh, my gosh! You look so young!”

Allie ran over to Kathryn. “Where did you get this?” she cried out with tears in her eyes. “I
love
it! I can't wait to show all my friends! They're going to die!”

“You're so awesome, Dad!” Matt's voice croaked. “Rich has got to see this!” He stood in the corner of the room examining it.

Noreen and Ed's eyes grew misty as they handed their poster of the legendary rodeo champion to Colt for him to see. Ed handed him a pen. “I want your autograph. This could be worth a fortune someday.”

Kathryn understood everyone's joy because she felt it herself, but it was time to make her exit. Otherwise she might never be able to pry herself away.

“Happy birthday, Colt.” She got up from the table. “Thanks to all of you for letting me be part of this celebration. Noreen? The food was out of this world, but now I'm afraid I have to leave.”

Allie looked stricken. “Where are you going?”

“Back to my motel in Bozeman.”

“Motel?” the twins moaned together.

“Yes. While you people have a whole night of
celebrating ahead of you, I need to accomplish a day's worth of foundation work plus some business for Jake before tomorrow morning.”

“But you
can't
go yet!”

“Kathryn said she had to leave,” Colt reminded his daughter in a voice of understated authority. “She flew here from Salt Lake to help us find your mother, remember? Let's let her get on with her jobs. Matt? Would you bring down her suitcase, please?”

“Sure.”

“Don't bother to go up, Matt. I left it at the motel.” Avoiding Colt's piercing gaze, she looked at Allie. “I think there's one more gift your father hasn't opened yet. Right?”

“Yes,” the girl whispered.

“Then have fun. I'll see myself out.”

Kathryn hurried through the house to the back room, where she grabbed her purse and parka. Within a minute, she'd reached the car and was headed for town.

Colt didn't want her getting any more attached to his children and was glad she'd done the right thing by leaving. That was why he hadn't tried to stop her. Any goodbye had been said in the storeroom behind the kitchen.

Her pain went too deep for tears. Frozen-faced, she drove straight to her motel needing to talk to Maggie.

Maybe her sister had radar because the second she closed the door to the room, her cell phone rang. She pulled it from her purse and checked the caller ID. It was Donna.

Her stomach knotted because her assistant wouldn't call this late at night unless she had important news.

“Hello?”

“Kathryn?”

Just the way Donna said her name, she knew what she was about to say. “That body was Whitney's, wasn't it?”

“Yes.”

Hot tears spurted from her eyes. “I have to get off the phone now and call my parents. Thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course.”

But the second Kathryn hung up, she threw herself across the bed and sobbed because a miracle hadn't happened for that little girl's family. She sobbed for all the helpless kidnapped children who this very night were being molested or killed somewhere in the world. Not even everything the McFarland Foundation could do had prevented this crime against Whitney.

Beyond heartsick, she lay there for a long time in such a deep sorrow, she didn't realize her phone was ringing. Finally stirring, she sat up and looked at the caller ID. It was her sister. She clicked on.

“Maggie?”

“I've been on the phone with the folks. Did you hear about Whitney?”

“Yes. I just got off the phone with Donna.”

Neither of them spoke for a minute. There were no platitudes they could say to comfort each other. Another tragedy had befallen another child. Yet next to her grief lay her guilt for thinking of Colt right now and how incomprehensible it would have been if Allie had been lost to him forever.

“How was the birthday party?” her sister ventured. “You know what I mean.”

“The surprise was everything I could have hoped for. Allie and Matt loved the posters, but I left before Colt opened the framed one.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I got an answer earlier tonight.”

“Translation please.”

Knowing Maggie wouldn't let it go, Kathryn launched into an explanation of what had happened in the storeroom. “I was ready to explode like a volcano, but his brief, chaste thank-you kiss cooled everything down. He might as well have been the Pope giving me a benediction for my goodness.”

Instead of her sister coming right back with the assurance that Kathryn had misread the situation, she said something entirely different. “You were right about him being a complicated man.”

Maggie's quiet response set off an alarm bell. There was a message behind her words, otherwise she would have waited until Kathryn had returned to Salt Lake to talk about the little girl who'd been murdered. Kathryn gripped her phone tighter. “What do you know that I don't?”

“While you and I were upstairs at his ranch house this morning, Colt confided something to Jake. Maybe you already know what it is and have chosen not to tell me.”

“Tell you what?” Her voice shook.

“He never divorced his wife.”

 

“S
EE
, D
AD
? This looks perfect in here! Everyone who comes in will notice it before anything else!”

With Colt's children helping Ed and Noreen, a little rearranging had gone on and now the framed poster with protective glass hung on one of the walls in the family room. They'd wanted to put it in his den, but he'd ruled it out. Colt used that room to conduct business with the public and disliked the idea of his awards being on display. At least the family room was a little more private.

After Natalie had taken off years earlier, any of the stuff from his rodeo days he'd thrown in a box in the storage shed behind the old house. It was now covered with other boxes. Neither the twins nor the Walters had any idea of its existence. That was the way he'd wanted it. But he couldn't get away with doing the same thing to Kathryn's gift. His children wouldn't hear of it.

She'd transformed his birthday party into something else. The posters dredged up memories he'd suppressed for so long, he'd almost forgotten what those sweet days were like when he was single and hungry for a bull-riding title that would help make his fortune.

No one but Kathryn McFarland could have located that framed poster, let alone managed to get the collector to part with it. No doubt she'd been robbed of her money and had enriched the man's coffers by several thousand dollars, but money in and of itself meant nothing to her.

She'd go to any lengths without counting the cost in order to bring happiness to someone else. Except for disappearing to a motel this evening, she'd made Colt's twins ecstatic.

Though she was a flesh-and-blood woman whose mouth he could still taste on his lips, he didn't doubt
he'd kissed an angel earlier. As anyone knew, angels went about doing good, especially this angel whose joy at being found after her long captivity might have turned her into another kind of captive. One who couldn't do enough for others.
One you might never be able to pin down, Brenner.

That was Colt's new agony.

When he'd heard the children coming into the kitchen before dinner, it had almost killed him to let go of Kathryn, but what choice did he have when he was so on fire for her that he still trembled at the thought of holding her again?

“Dad? I thought you wanted to play Boggle.”

His son's voice jerked him back to the present. “I do.”

“Then let's get started.”

Colt joined his children at the card table in front of the fire. A half hour later Allie said, “I win again! We need to play this on your birthday more often.”

“Yeah,” Matt chimed in. “You haven't won once. Usually you beat us by at least fifteen extra words.”

“That's because you guys gave me such a great party I can't concentrate. Now it's time for bed.” The twins protested, but he reminded them they had school in the morning.

Allie lingered on the stairs, holding her poster. “Do you think Katy will come over tomorrow?” It was the first time her name had been mentioned in the past hour.

He shook his head. “My guess is she'll do her work and fly back to Salt Lake. She's on a busy schedule trying to help you, honey.”

Her downfallen expression didn't escape him. “I know. Well, good night.”

Colt hugged her. “Thanks for a wonderful birthday.”

Matt came loping into the foyer with his poster. “Hey, Dad. I just got off the phone with Rich. Would you be willing to train us how to ride a bull?”

Somehow Colt had known that question was coming. Kathryn had opened up the proverbial Pandora's box. “Why don't we talk about it tomorrow?”

His son grinned. “I'm holding you to it. 'Night.” They high-fived each other before he bounded up the stairs after Allie.

The second he saw his son's boots disappear, Colt wheeled around and left the house, grabbing his hat and jacket on the way. Once in the truck, he phoned Noreen, letting her know he had an errand to run and would be back on the ranch in a couple of hours. There'd be no sleep for him until he'd dropped in on Kathryn and thanked her for her gifts in person.

At the third motel he spotted her rental car in front of Number Ten. Though the curtains were drawn, he could tell her light was on. He levered himself from the cab. A few steps to the door and he rapped on it. If he'd phoned her first, she would have put him off. This way she had to do it in person.

“Kathryn? It's Colt.”

She didn't keep him waiting long, but when she opened the door fully dressed, she was on the phone and motioned for him to come in. Though he couldn't see tears, he knew she'd been crying and had a gut notion
why. As he closed the door, he heard her say good-night to her mother before hanging up.

“Was it Whitney's body?” he whispered.

Her beautiful face crumpled in pain. She had no words. All he could do was pull her into his arms and try to comfort her, but he'd never felt so helpless in his life.

“Oh, Colt! This world can be so terrible, yet so wonderful, too.”

He kissed the side of her temple. “It was wonderful tonight. I opened my last present and discovered that something I'd treasured and thought lost forever had been returned.”

“I'm glad it made you happy.”

“The children have hung it in the family room. That's twice Kathryn McFarland has restored something priceless to me.”

She eased out of his arms. With a small smile she said, “I hear good things come in threes. Here's hoping we find your wife before long.”

Colt heard her distinctly. She'd said
wife
—not ex, not Natalie, not the children's mother.

“So Jake has already told you.”

“After they flew home, he started in on the investigation and mentioned it to Maggie. She didn't know if I knew or not, but it doesn't matter.”

“What? That I'm still married?”

“That's your own business.”

Her phone had started ringing. “Excuse me, Colt. I need to see who this is.” She picked up. “Hi, Kit. It's good to hear your voice, but I've got someone with me. I'll call you back in a few minutes.”

Kathryn gave him an inscrutable blue stare and the tension between them caused him to bite down hard. “What I have on my mind is going to take some time. If you'd like, I'll wait in the truck until you're through talking to your sister-in-law, even if it means I have to sit out there half the night.” He wanted to let her know he meant business.

He was counting on her good manners not to tell him to get the hell out of her motel room
now.

The fight going on inside her went on for a full minute before she said, “I'll phone Kit and tell her I'll talk to her tomorrow. She's as upset about Whitney as the rest of us.”

Colt expelled the air from his lungs. While she called her sister-in-law back, he removed his hat and jacket and sat down on one of the two chairs propped near the table.

He liked it that the motel room was claustrophobic.
Kathryn only had two places to sit—the bed that took up most of the room or the other chair.

She chose the safer course, but it brought her close enough that their boots brushed. Much as he wanted to pull her onto his lap and kiss them both into oblivion, he turned in order to extend his long legs away from her. “I need to explain.”

She shook her beautiful blond head. “It's not necessary.”

Colt couldn't have felt more gutted if he'd been stomped unconscious by a bull. “It is to
me,
” he fired back. “Jake needed to know about my marital status up front, but I preferred not to discuss it in front of you and your sister. Call it cowardice if you want. When he talked to me on the phone the other day, he told me he'd do anything for you, so I should have guessed he would start his investigation the minute he got back to Salt Lake. It's how you McFarlands operate.”

Kathryn looked away.

“Whether you believe me or not, I came here tonight to talk to you about it in private. Until now, the time never seemed right.”

“You don't have to tell me.”

“You deserve the whole truth.” He sat forward. “In the beginning, I was too involved in taking care of my premature babies and running the ranch to think about anything else. I figured that one day I'd hear from her through an attorney that she wanted a divorce. That suited me fine. I was in no hurry to rush into another ill-fated marriage.”

Her pained eyes searched his. “No one would be.”

“When she did make contact, I planned to get my
buckle back. The fact that I never heard from her again proved how much she didn't want to get caught.”

“I don't know how you lived through that experience.”

“The twins became my whole world.”

She smiled. “Naturally. They're wonderful.”

“After my grandparents died, I let go of my anger and made up my mind to be the best father I could. The ranch began to prosper and I found joy in my children. There were women, yet attractive as they were, I couldn't picture any of them being the kind of mother my twins needed.”

“You'd lost a lot of trust,” Kathryn murmured.

He nodded. “One or two of those women wanted to get married. I probably should have had Natalie declared legally dead so that could happen, but the desire wasn't strong enough to go to the trouble.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “If Jake can't find her, then I'll go that route.”

“Are the twins aware you're still married to their mother?”

Colt studied her through shuttered lids. “No. But if they raise that question, I'll tell them.” After a pause, “Will you forgive me?”

She stirred in the chair. “There's nothing to forgive.”

“Prove it and we'll go over to the Westerner for a drink and a dance. They have a good live band. It'll top off my birthday.”

“That's right. It's your birthday.” She glanced at her watch. “For another hour, anyway.”

“Come on.”

He stood up and reached for her parka in the closet. This time, she had to let him help her. The need to touch her had become paramount to his existence. She handed him his hat and they went out the door into the cold night.

Their arms and hips brushed as he opened the truck door for her, electrifying his body. It was a good thing the Westerner was only two miles away. The desire to have her in his arms was consuming him.

Colt hadn't been inside the bar for several years. The place was swinging. They'd heard the country music out in the parking lot.

“Hey, Colt!” several of his younger hands called out to him. He nodded to them. Every man's eyes had locked on to Kathryn while he ushered her through the crowd. With a packed dance floor, it was slow maneuvering. The wolf whistles and comments kept coming.

He whispered near her ear, “No one's seen anyone like you in here before. Stick close to me.” His hands stayed on her shoulders from behind until he'd guided her to a free booth in the corner. He removed their parkas before sitting next to her.

A cheeky waitress came over to take their order. “Coffee for me,” Kathryn said.

“Make that two coffees, one with cream and sugar.” After the waitress left, the guy at the mike called for a round of line dancing. Colt eyed the gorgeous woman squeezed in the booth next to him. “Let's do it.”

He grasped her hand and took her out on the floor to the end of the last row. For the next little while, he had the time of his life going through the motions with the
best dancer in the room. Every male in the place envied him.
Eat your hearts out.

Eventually they returned to the booth to drink their coffee. “Where did you learn to move like that?”

“Cord taught me and Kit. He's a cowboy at heart and would rather line dance than just about anything, but I think you could teach him a few steps.”

“I got a lot of practice during my rodeo days. After an event, a bunch of us would head for the nearest bar to unwind.”

“When did you start bull riding?”

“At Matt's age.”

“Has he tried it yet?”

“My son's been making noises to learn, but after you showered your gifts on us tonight, he and his friend Rich have it all planned that I'm going to teach them the fundamentals starting this coming weekend.”

She looked alarmed. “Does that bother you?”

“No. It's a great sport. If he wants to try to get good at it, there's nothing more challenging or exciting except maybe a slow dance with you.” Color spilled into her cheeks. “Before this place closes, how about it?”

Dancing gave him a legitimate excuse to cling to her voluptuous body. They fit together as if they'd been made for each other. Way too soon, the band played their last song, bringing an end to the enchantment.

Colt protested inwardly as he helped Kathryn back into the truck. He'd wanted to keep her in his arms all night. Out on that floor he'd forgotten he was still legally married. For a while, nothing mattered but the physical and mental closeness they shared.

“Did you just say something?” he asked as they headed for the motel.

“Yes. I was thinking about your gold buckle. I have a hunch it could be the key to putting us on Natalie's trail. What exact time frame are we talking about from the moment you won the world championship until she left?”

They were back to the investigation. “The twins were premature and born in July. She left in August. Approximately eight and a half months.”

“Did you go straight to Montana after you'd won?”

“We stayed in Las Vegas for another two days, then drove to the ranch in my old pickup truck.”

“So before you even left Las Vegas, she could have gone behind your back and talked to a contact about selling your gold buckle to some collector for a big price?”

“It's possible. Knowing what I know now, Natalie was capable of anything.” He didn't want to talk about her.

“Did you still have it when you reached the ranch?”

How could Kathryn be talking like this after what they'd been doing for the past hour? “It doesn't work that way. I was presented my award, but they sent it back to Montana Silversmiths to have my name hand-lettered in gold on it. I received it by overnight courier a month later.”

“Did it come with a special belt?”

“There's no belt. My grandparents kept it in a place of honor on the mantel along with my other awards. My grandmother was the first to notice it was missing.
Natalie must have taken it the day she left the house for good.”

By now they'd reached the Silver Spur and she'd already opened the truck door. Colt climbed out to help her down, but he didn't know how he was going to leave her. For sixteen years he'd existed without her. Now she'd started a fire in him that would never go out. Every second with her made it burn hotter.

When she opened the motel-room door, he went inside with her, ostensibly to make sure she was safe. He checked the bathroom and the closet. “I wish you'd come back to the ranch with me tonight. I'd feel better.”

“Thank you for caring, but I'll be fine.”

He'd been studying her appealing features all night and couldn't get enough of them. “What's your agenda tomorrow?”

“A dozen different things. I plan to get an early start.”

“I'll take you to dinner.”

“That would be lovely, but I might not be here.”

“Why?” he demanded.

“If I've accomplished everything Jake wants, I'll fly home in the afternoon.”

“With Maggie?”

She nodded.

His hands balled into fists. “Don't you ever stop to enjoy yourself?”

She flashed him a breezy smile. “I've been doing that all day. Thank you for a wonderful night of dancing. For thirty-six years, you're remarkably good. It must be the bull rider in you. Good night, Colt. I'll be in touch.”

 

K
ATHRYN ENTERED
her psychiatrist's empty reception room at nine and waited until he appeared at the door of his private office, telling her to come in. She sat down opposite his desk. He was a short, balding man who wore steel-rimmed glasses.

“I'm sorry I couldn't come in last week. I've had to go out of town several times on child advocacy business.”

He smiled. “These appointments are for you, not me.”

“I realize that.” She'd been coming to Dr. Morrow's office for over four years. He was a friend who knew her inside and out, but one of these days he would retire. She couldn't imagine not having him in her life. Lately it seemed her problems were getting worse, not better. What would she do without him? The thought sent her into a panic.

“I happened to see you on last night's news.”

She nodded. “Our family attended Whitney's funeral yesterday morning. I think half the city must have been there.” The intrusion of the TV networks had been too much.

Her doctor sat with his elbows on the desk, tapping his fingertips together. “Why did you go?”

His question stunned her. “You mean our family?”

“No.
You.
”

Kathryn frowned. “Because I run the foundation.”

“Besides that. I want you to think very hard. Before our session ends, I'd like an answer.” He sat back in the chair. “What are you doing for fun these days?”

“Fun?”

Her brother had asked her the same question the other day.

“You don't have any,” he commented. “When you first came to me and described Anna Buric's life in Wisconsin, this is what you said.” He opened a folder on his desk. “I'm going to read from my notes.

“Some days were good when Nelly brought me books to read. We had fun cooking in the bakery. Sometimes she would take me driving around the farm. Those were good times. On my days off I climbed trees in the apple orchard with the younger children. I liked reading stories to the littlest ones. It was like I was their mother. I used to pretend they were my children. That was fun.”

Kathryn averted her eyes.

“Isn't it interesting that my notes on Kathryn McFarland—once all the joy of reunion had finally died down—don't mention anything about having fun.”

“That's not true!” she protested. She'd had so much fun with Colt on his birthday that she'd come close to begging him to stay the night with her.

“I'm afraid it is. Your life is all about work. Why?”

“Because it's what my family does.”

“You mean to tell me your brothers and sister don't ever have any fun?”

“No. Of course not. They do all kinds of fun things. They ski and ride horses. They recently went to the Utah football game together.”

“Did you go to the last one?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I had foundation business.”

“Let me ask you another question. You were planning
to move out of the McFarland Tower and get your own house. Have you done that yet?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because there's no place more convenient to my work.”

“Have you joined that book club your friend suggested?”

“No. I never have the time.”

“What about a pet? We talked about that before, too.”

“Much as I'd like one, with my schedule I decided I wouldn't be able to give it the love and attention it deserves.”

He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Have you done any dating since you turned down Steve's proposal?”

“No.”

“I see. Have you formulated an answer to my initial question?”

In a rare show of temper she said, “Is this really necessary? You know very well I want to give back what my parents sacrificed for me during all those years I was missing.”

“That's a lofty goal, but one that's quite impossible. You're not your parents. It isn't the same situation.”