Authors: Valerie Hansen
Rachel smiled at his accurate assessment. “Probably.” She leaned down to look at the child already ensconced in the back seat of Sean's car, then sighed noisily as she conceded. “Okay. I'll go. But if I get in trouble over this I'm going to blame the whole thing on you.”
“Fair enough. Want me to tie you up, sling you over my shoulder like a pirate and throw you in the car to make your story more convincing?”
He burst out laughing when she gave him the Samantha Smith pose of indignation and said, “No, thanks. I'll pass.”
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There were two large zoos within a reasonable driving distance of Serenityâone in Little Rock and one in Memphis. Both were a three-hour journey. Sean decided to go to Memphis because he also wanted to give Samantha the opportunity to see the Mississippi River. Long before they reached the Tennessee/Arkansas border, however, she'd fallen fast asleep in the back seat.
“I'm glad you rode up front with me,” he told
Rachel. “Our little friend has conked out. Guess I'll have to show her the Big Muddy on our way home.”
“I had to sit where I could see out,” Rachel replied. “The road between Hardy and Blackrock is way too crooked. It always makes me dizzy.”
“Sorry. Do you get seasick, too?”
She shrugged, taking care to keep her eyes on the road in case there was a curve ahead. “I don't know. The only boat I was ever in was a canoe. A friend and I floated down the Strawberry River. We went so slowly I hardly noticed movement.”
“Someday we'll have to take a trip in a real boat, then.”
When she didn't comment, Sean glanced over at her. Her hands were clasped tightly together in her lap. Her jaw was clamped shut. Her beautiful blue eyes were staring out the windshield, concentrating as if she were the one driving.
Wisely, he dropped the subject. It had been stupid to talk to Rachel about the future. She was right. There was no use prolonging the agony by pretending they had a chance as a couple. Thanks to his big mouth, she already knew he came from a dysfunctional familyâone she'd not want to even consider joining. Nor would she want to bring into the world children who might exhibit that same propensity for addiction.
Geneticists were still split on whether or not such leanings were inherited, but Sean wasn't about to
chance finding out they were. So far, he'd escaped the insidious addiction that had swallowed up his father and brothers, yet they all came from the same ancestors. If he ever let himself slip, no telling how far down he'd slide before he hit bottom.
His hands tightened on the wheel, his knuckles whitening from the effort. No way was he going to involve an innocent woman like Rachel in such a terrible life. She deserved better. Much better than he could ever offer.
To distract himself before his musings made him too depressed, he handed her a Tennessee road map. “Here. I checked before we left, and I think if we get off on Poplar we can take it all the way to the zoo. See if that's right, will you? The off-ramp should be coming up pretty soon.”
“Okay. As long as you don't go around any corners while I'm not watching the road.”
“If any come along I'll straighten them just for you,” he quipped, quickly adding, “Oops! Hang on. Corner coming up.”
She blinked and focused on the roadway as best she could. It was several long seconds before her equilibrium returned to normal. “Whew! That was fun. Remind me not to eat anything for a couple of hours before we start home.”
“
Eat?
What if the zoo doesn't sell rabbit food?”
“Very funny. I don't eat salads all the time. I happen to love hot dogs. Ice cream, too, although I don't
usually indulge when I have my whole class along on a field trip.”
“Why not?”
“Because it's not fair to give myself a treat when my students can't have the same thing. It's way too messy. Bus drivers really hate it when you bring twenty-five or thirty sticky kids back on board for the ride home.”
“Speaking from experience, I have to agree.” Sean nodded toward the back seat. “Tell you what. If you and Sleeping Beauty promise to wash afterwards, you can both have all the ice cream you want.”
Rachel raised an eyebrow. “I'm so relieved to have your permission, Mr. Bates. Thanks bunches.”
“You don't have to get sarcastic. I was just trying to make polite conversation.”
“I know. Sorry. When you mentioned driving the bus it made me think about school again. Neither of us may have jobs if the authorities find out Hannah didn't come with us. I guess worrying about that has made me a little cranky.”
“You? Why should you worry? Everybody I meet keeps telling me God will take care of them. Don't you believe the same thing?”
She gave a derisive huff. “It's not that simple. If I suspect that what I'm doing may be wrong, then for me it
is
wrong. I can't count on divine providence to step in and rescue me if my own folly has gotten me into trouble.”
“What we're doing here can't be wrong,” he insisted. “This is our last chance to show Sam a good time, to let her know we care about her. No matter where she goes or what happens in the future, she'll always have today to remember.”
So will I,
Rachel mused.
So will I.
Remembering was going to be easy. It was forgetting that was going to be hard.
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A child and a zoo are more than compatible, they're symbiotic, Rachel thought, watching Samantha run from one exhibit to the next with Sean in tow. It had only taken the bright child a few attempts to figure out that she could get a much better view of everything if she asked Sean to hold her up instead of begging Rachel for a boost.
The only time that additional height wasn't helpful was in the tropical, walk-in aviary, where all the brightly hued birds flew freely overhead, as if still at home in the jungle. The rest of the zoo followed a stylized Egyptian theme, in keeping with the Memphis name, and featured gardens brimming with flowers between each exhibit. No matter how many times Rachel visited there, its beauty always enthralled her.
Sean led the way to the elephant enclosure. Samantha was balanced on his shoulders, pointing and babbling. “She only loves me for my height,” he said aside to Rachel.
“Speaking as someone who's been hanging out
pretty close to the ground her whole life, I can understand that fascination,” she replied, smiling. “I dare you to leave her up there while we eat the ice cream you promised us.”
“Only if you pick a flavor that doesn't clash with the color of my hair.”
Rachel laughed. She'd smiled and giggled so often since they'd been together that the muscles in her cheeks actually hurt. What a day this had been! What a marvelous, blessed day. If she were running the universe, the sun would never set. This very same day would go on forever and ever. And so would her happiness.
Their
shared
happiness, she corrected. From the outset, Samantha had acted as if being with the two of them was as routine as being with her former parents. And Sean played the part of father-shepherd with a natural grace and quiet wisdom.
Though Rachel had done her best to fit in, there were still unguarded moments when she felt like an outsider, a pretender, and had to hide behind her sunglasses to blink back tears.
If Sean noticed, he kept the observation to himself. Rachel was glad he hadn't quizzed her about it. Under the circumstances she had no intention of baring her soul. Especially not to him. Clearly, Samantha was delighted with the zoo trip, and Rachel didn't intend to do or say one single thing that might spoil it.
She smiled to herself, accepting the inevitable with
a dollop of cynicism. Yes, she'd miss Samantha. Terribly. And she'd always think of this outing with Sean as a high point of her life. But the tears weren't all for them. Not even close. Rachel's tears were for herself, for the one thing she wanted that she could never haveâlove and commitment.
Truth to tell, her mother had been right all along. A job wasn't enough. Being with Sean and Samantha all day had convinced her of that.
Like it or not, she did want a family of her own.
Desperately.
T
he drive back to Serenity seemed to take hours longer than the drive the other way. Rachel yawned. “Sorry. It's been a long day.”
“Hang in there. We're almost to the Brodys'.”
“I know.” She smiled wistfully as she glanced at the dozing little girl in the back seat. “You shouldn't have bought her that enormous stuffed animal. It was way too expensive.”
“Had to. This was my last chance to spoil her.”
Rachel sighed. “I'm really going to miss her.”
“Me, too.”
Glancing sidelong at Sean she was certain she saw a glint of moisture in his eyes. “Do you think they'll let her write to us, or maybe phone if we tell them to reverse the charges?”
“Maybe,” he said. “I suppose it all depends on
whether they're taking her because they really want her or because of her inheritance. Wait till they learn it's been placed into a trust fund so it can't be squandered.”
“Hannah did mention something about money coming to Samantha. How did you find out so much?”
“I asked. I'm surprised you didn't.”
“I suppose I should have. I just kept telling myself I couldn't do anything to change what would eventually happen, so I ought to stay out of it. Stupid, huh?”
“Avoiding heartache? No, that's not stupid. It's normal. Nobody goes out looking for dragons to slay unless they find monstrous footprints in their own backyard.”
Rachel's brow knit. “Huh?”
“Some people are born crusaders,” Sean explained. “Others aren't. Your talent happens to be teaching and you do that well. You said you recognized the gift when you were very young.”
“Yes, I did.” She was surprised he remembered a casual comment from so early in their relationship.
“Then, don't beat yourself up about not being gung-ho to do something else. You have character, Rachel. If you saw an injustice that needed righting, I know you'd try to right it. When there's nothing that can be done, staying out of the affairs of others is the smartest choice.”
“But I haven't. Not really,” she said softly, in confidence, with a quick peek at the back seat to make sure Samantha was still asleep. “I was involved up to my eyebrows the minute I set eyes on that little girl.”
All Sean said was “I know exactly what you mean.”
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The sun was set by the time they pulled into the driveway of the Brody house and parked. Apparently no one had thought to turn on the outside lights, leaving the yard dark except for the glow from the living room windows and a waxing moon that was starting to rise above the treetops.
Dimness suited Sean just fine. It matched his sinking mood. Leaving his hands resting on the steering wheel, he sighed and looked over at Rachel. “Well, I suppose we'd better wake her up and get this over with.”
“I suppose so.” She managed a smile. “I want to thank you for talking me into going along. I had a wonderful time. I'm sure Sam did, too.”
“Hey!” Sean said, brightening. “You called her Sam. That's a real breakthrough.”
“Better late than never, I guess.”
Slowly, deliberately, Rachel turned in her seat and got to her knees so she could lean over the back of the front seat and gently rouse the weary child. She
touched Samantha's shoe, wiggled it. “Honey? Wake up. We're home.”
Samantha snuggled closer to her stuffed panda and rubbed her cheek on its soft fur. Still asleep she murmured, “Mama.”
Tears sprang to Rachel's eyes. Hiding her ragged emotions she quickly got out of the car and stood with her back to it, arms folded across her chest. When Sean came up behind her, laid his arms over hers and pulled her close, his tenderness cost her the last vestiges of her self-control and she began to weep.
“Iâ¦I'm sorry,” she said. “I wasn't going to do this.”
“It's okay. I have broad shoulders.”
“No kidding.”
As he slowly leaned down and kissed the top of her head, she dashed away her tears, turned and said the first thing that popped into her mind. “You missed.”
“I what?”
“You missed.” Through her misty gaze she saw understanding dawn as she pointed to her trembling lips. “It goes there.”
“Does it?” Sean whispered. “Are you sure?”
“No. But do it, anyway.”
He bent his head, more than ready to give her the kiss she was asking for. He'd been longing to end their marvelous day together in exactly that loving way. Only the belief that Rachel wouldn't welcome
the romantic overture had stopped him. Now that she'd removed that obstacle, he was overjoyed to oblige.
Rachel rose on tiptoe, waiting, anticipating, remembering. She could feel Sean's breath, warm on her face, see the flicker of desire lighting his eyes. One more chapter in the fairy tale, she promised herself. Just one more and then it would be all over. For good.
Her lips parted. Her hands slipped around his neck. The moment she sensed his strong arms around her, she trusted him completely, and felt him raise her enough to lift her feet off the ground. Lost in that precious moment, Rachel started to close her eyes.
Bright light suddenly blinded her. Sean started and almost dropped her.
She staggered, fighting for balance and calling upon her heightened perceptions to make sense of whatever had just occurred. Floodlights illuminated the front yard, trapping them in the shadow thrown by his car. Rachel was instantly glad they'd been standing on the side opposite the house instead of sharing their kiss on the porch where they'd be easily seen.
Shouting and cursing was coming from the direction of the house. It built to a cacophony of deeply disturbing sound. The front door slammed, then slammed again.
Still blinking against the brightness, Rachel shaded
her eyes with one hand. When she reached out to touch Sean's arm with the other she felt his muscles flex beneath her fingers. “What's going on?”
“I don't know.” He tried to maneuver her behind him. “Stay back till we find out.”
She resisted. “Don't be silly. Hannah wouldn't let anything bad happen to us here. Neither would Hank. He may be old but he's strong as a bull.”
Peering up at the porch she counted five adults. Hannah and Hank were there, of course, arm in arm. The only other person Rachel recognized wasâoh, no! It looked like Heatherington! Now the fat was in the fire for sure!
A middle-aged couple Rachel had never seen before broke away from the others and started down the porch steps toward the car. The smartly dressed woman left her portly mate lagging behind, stomped straight up to Sean and wagged a long finger in his face.
“How dare you! Do you know how late it is? We've all been worried sick. Field trip, my eye. I'll see you're
fired.
Both of you.”
Sean kept his voice low. “We're very sorry you were inconvenienced, Mrsâ¦.” He tried Samantha's last name. “Smith, is it?”
“You know very well it is,” she screeched. “No alibis. You tried to steal my niece and you're not going to get away with it. Not if I have any say in the matter.”
Rachel stepped forward, still squinting and shading her eyes. “That's not what happened at all. We just wanted to show her a good time before she left us.”
“Don't give me that. Ms. Heatherington told these people we were coming all the way down here to pick her up, and you didn't even have the courtesy to have her here.” The woman muttered a curse. “Good thing you came back when you did. I was about to call the cops. Maybe I still will.”
“That won't be necessary,” Sean said calmly. “Apparently there was some mix-up about the exact time of your arrival.” He gestured at his car. “As you can see, Samantha's fine. She's right here. Safe and sound.”
“Then, give her to me. I don't intend to stand around all night and argue.”
Rachel opened the car door and leaned inside.
Standing close by, Sean heard her mumble, “You could have fooled me,” before her tone changed to gently rouse Samantha. “Come on, honey. Wake up. We're home. And there are some new people here I want you to meet.”
Sean was proud of the way she put aside her own needs to do what was best for the child. If it was tearing him up to think of handing Samantha over to the rigid, unforgiving person they'd just encountered, what must poor Rachel be thinking? One quick look at her face told him exactly what she was going through, and it made his heart ache for her.
Clinging to her beloved teacher the child rubbed sleep out of her eyes while Rachel stroked her thin back and urged her more awake. She looked as if she was about to hand Samantha to her new guardian when the woman reached out, grabbed the little girl's wrist and wrenched her away!
Rachel screamed, “No!”
Sean put his arm around her in consolation and restraint.
Hannah Brody had been hanging back, watching. Now, she bustled up and started to call the other woman every nasty name Rachel had ever heardâand a few she hadn'tâwhile Samantha wailed at their feet and the social worker dithered in the background.
The Smith woman paused only long enough to tell the child to shut up, then said, “Come on, Robert. Bring her,” and stormed off.
“Yes, Daphne.” With a shrug, the man held out his hand. Instead of taking it, Samantha clung to Rachel.
The little girl's weeping had intensified almost to the point of hysteria, and Sean was worried about her mental state. He had begun considering intercession the moment he'd encountered Samantha's new guardians. Now that Daphne Smith had demonstrated such a horrific lack of compassion and tact, he was beginning to think they might actually stand a chance of heading off the change of custody. It was worth a try. Staying with the Brodys indefinitely would be far bet
ter for Sam than going to live with the part of her extended family he'd just met.
Rachel was on her knees trying to soothe the weeping child when more shouting began. Hank and Robert were getting into it now. Younger and heavier, Robert threw a punch at Hank. He missed. Hank fell, anyway, when he staggered backward to escape the blow. Yelling, Hannah launched herself, fists flailing, into the midst of the melee.
Sean wasn't far behind. He pulled Hannah out of the fracas, but she dove back in before he had a chance to rescue Hank.
Clearly, someone should telephone the police, Rachel decidedâbut who? Hank, Hannah, Sean and the Smiths were all part of the problem. And it didn't look like Ms. Heatherington was in any shape to help, either. The usually staid social worker stood frozen in place, her mouth agape, staring at the near riot from the relative safety of the porch.
It was evidently up to Rachel to make the call if anyone was going to. What the whole group needed was a cooling-off period, and she knew she wasn't big enough or tough enough to send them to separate corners the way she did her kindergarten students when they misbehaved.
Preparing to go inside to use the Brody's phone, she straightened and reached for Samantha's hand so she could keep her close. The child must have misunderstood. Instead of meekly taking her teacher's of
fered hand, she jerked away and dashed down the dirt driveway.
Rachel was caught off guard. “Samantha! Wait!”
The little girl didn't pay any heed. Already in a frenzy, she increased her speed. The last good glimpse Rachel got of her before the night swallowed her up was the bobbing of her blond curls and the dusky white of her tennis shoes.
“Sean!” Rachel hollered at the top of her lungs, then took off in pursuit without waiting to see if he'd heard.
The driveway was dark and winding. There were no streetlights along Squirrel Hill Road, either, so the farther Rachel got from the Brody house the more the countryside blended into a murky blur, lit only by a sliver of the moon.
“Samantha!” she shouted. “Wait! Please.”
Behind her she heard Sean's voice echoing her calls. Just knowing he was following gave Rachel confidence. Her legs were already tired from a whole day of walking. The muscles throbbed, threatening to fail. She tripped. Faltered. Recovered.
“Oh, please, Lord,” she prayed aloud. “Help me!”
Arms held out in front of her, she groped along, hoping she wouldn't accidentally bump into one of Hank's barbed-wire fences and praying Samantha knew enough about the lay of the land to keep herself safe, even in the near dark.
By Rachel's reckoning there was only the cement crossing over the wet-weather creek left to negotiate before she reached the road. The smack of her rubbersoled shoes hitting the hard concrete of the swale confirmed that conclusion.
She stopped there, fighting to hold her breath long enough to listen for Samantha's footsteps up ahead. Instead, she heard the pounding of a runner's stride somewhere behind. Sean was coming! Thank God!
A quick breath later she heard another sound. The way noise echoed in the narrow, wooded valley it was hard to tell what direction it was coming from, or even what it was. She listened carefully. The roar was growing more definable. It had to be a car or a pickup truck. And it sounded like it was headed their way on Squirrel Hill Road!
Panic chilled Rachel to the depths of her soul. Even the most levelheaded five-year-old was liable to forget safety rules in a moment of excitement. Samantha was unlikely to remember anything, let alone an admonition to stay out of the street.
Rachel sprinted for the road, praying all the way. The car's motor was getting louder and louder.
She could see headlight beams now, brilliant and blinding. Between her position and that of the speeding car she caught a glimpse of a small, moving shadow.
It might be a deer,
her subconscious insisted. And what if it wasn't? With no thought for personal safety,
Rachel ran out into the road, waving her arms wildly over her head and shouting, “Sam! Look out!”
Behind her, Sean gave a guttural roar when he saw her luminescent silhouette aglow in the glare of oncoming headlights.