Safeword: Arabesque (Safewords Book 9) (2 page)

The lips he ate with, he’d used to kiss Cam until the boy looked as if he couldn’t breathe. And she’d seen Frisco bite him on the neck until Cam’s eyes closed in what looked like erotic bliss.

She wanted Frisco’s oh-so-sexy hand to do things to her, to put a collar around her neck as if it were nothing. And his lips? She imagined him doing all kinds of wicked things with those lips.

And she was afraid everyone at the table would know what she was thinking every time she looked at him.

When dinner was finally over, Sam caught her before she could escape, and Ethan brought Frisco to them.

“Do
ya’ll want to follow me back to my house to talk, or should we take a walk down to the park?”

Sam had her no-nonsense look, but Cassie wanted to keep it as short and sweet as possible, so she said, “The park.”

Unfortunately, Frisco said, “Your house,” at the exact same time, and Ethan decided to be the tiebreaker and decreed they were going to the house.

Cassie followed them home, and made small talk as the group made their way out back to the large screened in porch. She accepted a beer from Ethan, took a swig, and put it down.

She needed to stay clear-headed.

Sam reached for her hand and said, “I’m going to break confidences all around tonight, so both of you just grin and bear it.”

Sam looked to Frisco. “When Cassie was twelve, her parents were still married to each other, and she thought she lived in the perfect family with her parents and siblings. When she was thirteen, her father called the family together to tell them he was gay, he’d fallen in love, and he was divorcing their mom.”

Cassie’s indrawn breath made Sam hesitate, but she didn’t take her eyes off Frisco as she continued. “She didn’t talk to her father for six years, until she went into therapy for some other problems and ended up being told she’d never resolve anything until she worked through the issues with her father.”

Well, shit, apparently Sam was going to tell all her secrets. Cassie understood why, but was still uncomfortable talking about it. Still, it was out there, so she may as well own it.

“I’m happy for my dad, now,” Cassie interjected. “He’s in a wonderful relationship and he’s happier than he ever was with my mom. He tried to live a lie and it almost destroyed him.” She looked down. “I’d be a different person if he hadn’t tried to live a straight life. My mom would’ve married someone else, so I’d have had a different dad. Maybe one who wouldn’t have walked out of my life when I was thirteen.”

Sam turned towards Cassie. “Frisco isn’t your father. Your father is gay; Frisco is bisexual. Do you understand the difference?”

Cassie had to work to keep from rolling her eyes. “Of course, it means he likes girls
and
boys. But, bad things happen when you keep something like this secret.”

Ethan had brought their drinks and then sat in a chair across from Sam. He’d been quiet, but now said, “I’ve never fucked a guy, never dated one, never held their hand, never kissed one…but I’ve received a few blow-jobs from them. I don’t see how that’s anyone’s business at the dojo. Sam knows because she’s my wife and I have no secrets from her. My parents and the vast majority of my friends don’t know. Of course, I also don’t share with them my love for anal sex with my wife, so…” He shrugged.

Cassie wanted to hug Ethan for spilling something about Sam to make her feel better, and she tried not to chuckle as Sam glared at her husband a few seconds.

“I think what Ethan’s saying,” Sam said as she turned back towards Cassie, “is Frisco sees his bisexual nature as something private. At some point in the future he may feel otherwise, but right now he compartmentalizes his life. He has emotional relationships with women and sexual adventures with men. He won’t know whether his soul mate turns out to be a man or a woman until he finds him or her, and at that time I’m sure he’ll be honest with that person, as Ethan was honest with me.”

“Cassie,” Frisco said with compassion in his voice, “people get divorced all the time, for all sorts of reasons. I’m truly sorry you had to go through the pain your father put you through. I don’t know if I’ll ever get married because I don’t know if one person will ever be enough for me. I’m not going to settle for someone who can’t be everything I need.”

Cassie shook her head and Frisco said, “The only time I’m ever seen with a man is at The Diamond Club, and a few clubs like it in Atlanta and Florida. I don’t date men; I just play with them. That may change someday, and if it does then I’ll come out to everyone, but for now it would be a lie to tell people I date men and women, because I only
date
women.”

Cassie’s first thought was horror that Frisco might have caught something from having sex with so many people, but almost as soon as she thought it, Sam said, “And before you ask, he’s a stickler about safe sex, no matter which gender he’s with.”

Cassie looked at Sam. “There’s something you aren’t telling me. Some reason you’re okay with this, and I think it has something to do with the whole
leash
thing. You acted kinda crazy that night, and you and Cameron seemed to hit it off too good for you to have just met. Did you already know?”

Sam glanced at Ethan and he leaned forward and touched Cassie’s hand. “Sam didn’t know before, and neither did I. For a variety of reasons, she understands the kind of adventures Frisco has with guys, so she knew how to make Cameron feel comfortable. Also, Frisco gave Cameron permission to play with Sam that night,” he glanced at Frisco, “and that night
only
.”

Frisco smiled and Ethan turned back to Cassie before continuing. “I don’t think he gave Cameron permission to play with anyone else.”

Frisco responded with, “No, I didn’t. Just Sam.”

Cassie looked to Sam and back to Ethan. “Permission? There’s that word again. Sam said you gave her permission to fool around that night.”

Sam pulled her feet into the chair and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Cassie, there’s a reason Kirsten chose The Diamond Club for my bachelorette party.”

Cassie’s mind starting putting things together…Sam telling her Frisco wasn’t the only one with a hidden kinky side, Ethan saying there were reasons Sam understood Cameron, and Sam saying Ethan had given her permission to flirt and play around the night before their wedding.

She looked at her friend and couldn’t camouflage the horror she felt as she said, “Oh no. You’re
way
too strong and opinionated to let anyone put a leash on you!”

“I’m not sharing details of my sex life with Ethan. The point is, Cameron and I have a lot in common and we had a blast dancing with each other and fooling around. So, yes, I understand how Frisco’s relationship is different with women than men, and why it’s a completely different situation than the one your father landed himself in.”

Cassie looked at all three of them, and it dawned on her they were all, apparently, quite kinky.

“So, I’m the only non-kinky person here? I mean, I like playing around with blindfolds and stuff, and I thought that made me kinky, but apparently not?”

“Well talk kink later, if you want,” Sam said, smiling. “Tonight I’d like to see you and Frisco find a way to be friends again. You wouldn’t look at him during dinner.”

Right, because she wanted him to do things to her. Things no sane person should want. Her hand instinctively went to her beer and she realized she was about to take a drink as it neared her mouth. She hesitated, but then thought
what the hell,
and downed half the bottle.

They weren’t going to let this go, and she didn’t want to have to tell Frisco what was going through her head. At a loss for what to do, she stood, grabbed Sam’s hand, and dragged her to the other side of the pool.

“I couldn’t look at him because I’m suddenly so fucking attracted to him I don’t know what to do with myself. I was sure if anyone had seen me looking at him, they’d have known how I felt! What the hell is wrong with me? This is horndog
Frisco
we’re talking about! And I’m not kinky! Why did it turn me on so much to see him with a
human
on a leash?”

Cassie let Sam hug her, and stayed quiet while Sam apparently processed this new information.

Finally, Sam said, “Frisco isn’t into kink with women, just men. Would you be okay dating someone who whips men? Paddles them? Keeps them in chains and makes them clean his house and wash his car?”

“Well, sure.” Cassie pulled out of the hug. Just thinking of watching Cameron have to wash her car brought a smile to her face. And what else could Frisco make the beautiful, sexy man who moved with such uninhibited fluid gracefulness do? She knew she beamed a goofy grin, but couldn’t rein it in as she added, “As long as he made them give me a massage when I’m sore, and wash my car, too.”

She hesitated as she realized she’d need a little more. The grin faded and she stipulated, “And as long as I met all of them, and got to watch sometimes.”

Sam shook her head, looked across the pool to the men, and back to Cassie. “You’ve turned him down how many times? Does he even ask you out anymore?”

Cassie shook her head. “Not since I saw him with Cameron.”

Sam laughed. “Figures. Okay, do you want me to stick my nose in and tell him you’re interested, or should I butt out?”

Cassie shook her head — horrified at Sam telling Frisco anything, but just as horrified he may never know how she felt. “I have no idea what I want.”

“Figure it out.” Sam smiled and rolled her eyes. “Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

Cassie leaned forward and spoke into Sam’s ear. She didn’t care how far away the men were, she couldn’t say this out loud while looking into her friend’s eyes.

“I wanted to be Cameron on the leash. Is that wrong?”

Sam’s arms enveloped her in another hug as she said, “No, it isn’t wrong.” She patted Cassie’s back and added, “But you need to understand that our lifestyle requires you to be completely and totally honest with your partner about everything. I can break the ice for you with Frisco, but you’ll need to tell him what you told me if you ever want it to happen.”

“But he said he doesn’t do that with girls.”

Sam backed out of the hug. “I’m not sure where he draws the line. I know he doesn’t get rough with girls, but I don’t know if there’s any power play or not.”

“Power play?”

“The mental parts of it.”

“How can I learn this stuff? I tried to look it up online after your party, but it all seemed so
mean
. Not like you and Cameron looked when you danced.”

Sam sighed and shook her head. “Most of the internet stuff is staged, so there’s no emotion. Look, if you’re truly interested I can talk to you about it, but so can Frisco. Why don’t I take you back and tell Frisco you’re turned on by the kink and you need someone to explain it. Let’s start with that, so the two of you can get the conversation started. Okay?”

As much as Cassie didn’t want to admit she was turned on by what she’d seen, she was so turned on she couldn’t think straight, and admitting to it was probably easier than telling Frisco she wanted him to put a collar and leash on
her
.

She felt herself shaking her head as she said, “Okay, that sounds good.”

Yeah, she acknowledged she was conflicted, but it would do no good to examine her thoughts and feelings now. There’d be plenty of time for psychoanalysis later.

The two walked back hand-in-hand. As they neared the men, Sam grabbed a seat cushion and tossed it on the ground a few feet in front of Frisco.

“Cassie, drop to your knees on the cushion.”

Cassie started to protest but was halfway down before the first word formed, so she closed her mouth and stayed quiet.

She was so terribly vulnerable, on the ground in front of Frisco. Her insides heated, her heart sped, and she felt much as she had while watching Cameron stand so quietly while Frisco held his leash.

Sam’s hands touched Cassie’s shoulders and she didn’t feel so vulnerable.

“All Doms have different preferences, but this is probably one of the more common ways to kneel.” Sam’s voice was gentle. Soothing. Calming. “Arch your back and rest your weight on your heels. Spread your legs, push out your chest, and settle into the position.”

Cassie followed instructions and discovered the position much more comfortable. She felt as if she was there for a purpose, a reason. Posture was apparently as important in kink as in martial arts.

“Nice,” Sam said from behind her. “Now you can either rest your hands on your thighs or grab your elbows behind your back.”

Cassie put them on her thighs, then at the small of her back. Behind her felt right, and she took a deep breath and relaxed into the position even more.

Sam kissed Cassie’s temple and pulled away from her ear to tell Frisco, “Cassie was so turned on by Cam’s leash she hasn’t been able to think of anything else. She’s been asking questions about the kink because she’s curious, not because she’s horrified. She needs someone to teach her about these feelings and show her how to be safe.”

Cassie felt Sam’s lips on her temple again, and then her friend stood and gently removed her hands. Cassie’s shoulders missed the warmth, but she kept sitting up straight, no matter how much her body wanted to shrink into the ground.