Safe with You (27 page)

I shake my head, driving those painful thoughts away. There is no need to think of that right now, not with this current situation at hand.

A pained look crosses Zack’s features. “Please, don’t say that, Cassie. I can’t bear to hear you talk about another guy like he is your world. It only intensifies the pain in my chest.”

He tugs me closer to him, and my body tenses, unsure of what he is doing. Without warning, Zack swoops his head down, pressing his familiar lips to mine. Nothing is what I feel. No spark, no butterflies, no nothing. My hands press against his chest, trying to put some distance between us.

“Zack, stop,” I protest, still trying to fight him off of me.

He with an irritated growl he drags his mouth off of mine but doesn’t pull away far. His mouth is still a mere inch from my lips, and it’s too close for comfort.

His fingers are latched around my forearms, digging into my pale skin. “Don’t fight what you feel for me, Cassie. Do you remember how we’d sit for hours in my car and just get lost in kissing each other? I want to do that again, Cassie.”

Of course I remember. I clung to those memories for a long time. “You need to stop this. It doesn’t matter how I felt then, it only matters how I feel now. And for your sake, I’m sorry my feelings aren’t the same. Get. Over. It.”

I jerk back hard, preparing for him to continue to fight me to keep me walking away. Except this time, I didn’t plan on him letting me go, so I almost fall over on my butt. Thankfully, I regain my footing, so I turn and walk hastily back inside the house.

Zack is crossing too many lines for me to count.

Shutting the door behind me, I almost jump out of my skin seeing both Mom and Dad standing by the window, a look of disapproval on their faces.

Ignoring them and their fascination with getting Zack and I back together, I continue to my room and shut the door behind me. When I hear the door click shut, I let out a sigh in relief.

A wave of guilt washes over me as I throw myself on my bed. I don’t know why I feel so guilty when Zack kissed me. Maybe it’s because I know I should tell J, yet I’m afraid of how he will react.

There are two possible scenarios. Either J will believe me and beat the crap out of Zack or he won’t believe me and break up with me. I really hope it’s not the latter. My feelings for J surpass everything I felt when I was with Zack. J literally takes my breath away with just one kiss. My stomach flutters every moment I think of him, which happens constantly because I think about him all the time.

With Zack, my feelings for fail in comparison to how I feel with J.

I swear my life is nothing but drama, and Zack just added to the crap load of drama that is already stressing me out.

If Zack and I can’t be friends then we will have no sort of relationship at all. Plain and simple. It’s just up to him to decide now.

****

The next morning, I wait patiently on my front porch for J to come pick me up for school. Nerves are gnawing at my insides, still feeling the guilt from last night. I will tell J about Zack kissing me. Keeping things from him, other than the secrets I have to keep buried, is not an option.

To my surprise and disappointment, Bo’s truck rumbles in my driveway.

I shoot off the porch, afraid that something has happened to J.

Bo hops out of his truck, a frown gracing his face instead of his normal cocky smile.

“Bo, where’s J? Is he okay?” I ask, rushing the words out.

“Get in the truck, darlin’, we have some talking to do.”

Bo helps me climb up in the cab of the truck and shuts my door. My hands fidget in my lap. I don’t like any part of Bo’s statement.

Did J send Bo to break up with me? No, why would he do that? Oh my goodness, I need a paper bag to help me breathe. I think I’m going to throw up.

“darlin’, just breathe,” Bo murmurs soothingly, his hand running gently up and down my back, trying to calm me.

I angle my head up at Bo. “Why did J not come and pick me up?”

“Cassie, J is really upset. I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me, okay,darlin’?”

I nod my head, my eyes burning with tears.

“Did you kiss Zack last night?”

I sit up straight, shaking my head frantically. “No! Zack kissed me! I tried pushing him away, I swear!”

I bury my head in my hands, wondering how J found out. My breaths are coming quicker, my lungs are in overdrive.

“Cassie, calm down and breathe.”

Oh no, J thinks I kissed Zack. He thinks I cheated on him.

“Darn it, darlin’, calm down. Just breathe.”

Bo’s voice registers in my brain, bringing me out of my panic mode.

“That’s it, Cassie, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

I do as he says, taking slow deep breaths in then exhaling.

“Okay now, Cassie, what do you mean Zack kissed you?”

Taking another deep breath in, I exhale slowly before telling Bo the truth.

He drops the truck in reverse and backs out of my drive as I begin. “Last night, my parents invited him over like they normally do and we were sitting on the porch talking when Zack dug up the past. He asked me what changed between us and why we couldn’t be together again. I explained to him that I am with J and that I didn’t have feelings for him like I did two years ago. He wouldn’t understand what I was telling him. I told him I wanted to be friends, nothing more, because J was my everything. I finally got tired of telling him the same stuff over and over again so I went to walk away when he grabbed my arm. I never expected him to kiss me, Bo. I tried pushing him off of me, but he wouldn’t budge. He finally stopped and pulled away, yet he didn’t put much distance between us. You have to believe me, Bo! I wouldn’t do that to J! I love him!”

The idea of love in my situation should frighten me, yet it doesn’t. It’s another reason why I feel J and I are meant to be.

Bo looks at me with pity. “Cassie, I never said I didn’t believe you, darlin’, it’s just from the pictures I saw last nig-”

“Pictures? What pictures?”

Bo sighs heavily. “I’m not sure if I should be the one telling you this, but Ellen came by last night and showed J the pictures of you and Zack.”

Ellen? “Ellen wasn’t at my house last night. How in the world did she take a picture when she wasn’t even there?”

“I don’t know, Cassie, this is some messed up shit.”

“Does J think I cheated on him?” I ask Bo softly.

I hold my breath waiting for his answer. I’m preparing for the worst possible outcome. Since J didn’t come to pick me up this morning, I’d say he believed what the photos portrayed.

The knot in my stomach grows. I can’t imagine not being with J.

“I honestly don’t know, Cassie. He seems torn in between what he sees and what he wants to believe.”

A sob escapes me, tears flow freely down my cheeks. I don’t even try to pull myself together. My heart is hurting so much, ripples of pain are expanding through my chest.

Never in my life have I hurt this much. Not even when I thought my life was over when I was forced into this new life.

The pain is crippling, excruciating.

I didn’t even know Bo had pulled over to the side of the road until I hear him say, “Come here, Cassie.”

I don’t know if I moved or if he moved me himself. “Darlin’, everything is going to be okay.”

How can he say that when he doesn’t know for sure? How does he know J won’t leave me over something that was taken out of proportion?

At this point, I don’t even know if J wants to have anything to do with me.

Another round of sobs escapes me at the thought.

I’m bawling so hard my chest hurts.

I guess this is what I get for hiding the truth from him, but what choice do I have? I don’t want, J to believe I don’t love him or that I want Zack because in no way do I want to have anything to do with, Zack.

I want to see, J and explain what happened…if he even wants to see me.

Chapter Thirty- Four

J

I stare down at my phone, rereading the text message Bo just sent me.

Bo: Bro, I’m not taking Cassie to school. She is a mess. Like, I’m pretty sure she is hyperventilating in my arms right now. You both need to talk because I honestly don’t think Cassie would betray you like that. Just my opinion though.

The picture Ellen showed me last night when she mysteriously showed up at my house burns through my mind. I can’t forget it no matter how hard I try to. I didn’t get a lick of sleep because I was so hurt from seeing Cassie kissing him.

Me: I can’t talk to her right now, Bo. Just seeing her will be too painful.

Bo: You need to think real hard about what you really saw. Cassie said she was pushing him away.

Really? Bo is automatically taking her side? I never thought Cassie would do something like this to me. The more I see the photo flash in my mind, the angrier I get. Betrayal hurts like a bitch, especially coming from the girl you love.

I pound my fist against my steering wheel out of frustration.

A tap on my window has me whipping my head over to see who it is. Oh hell no. He has some darn nerve to approach me after what I learned last night.

I fling the door to my truck open and jump out, slamming the door behind me. “What do you want, Zack? You’re lucky my fist hasn’t knocked your teeth out yet.”

He holds his hands up defensively. “Whoa man, tone it down.”

“Why should I? You kissed Cassie last night so I give me a reason why I shouldn’t kick your skinny ass right now!”

Zack doesn’t even flinch nor does he react to my threat. Instead, a sly grin appears on his face. “Because, she kissed me.”

I try to reel in my anger, but I’m so close to snapping and beating the shit out of him. From day one he has been trying to move in on my girl. I just didn’t think Cassie would give in to him. It shows just how well I thought I knew the girl I had fallen hard for. All it got me was a broken heart.

Zack chuckles at my misery. My resolve snaps in two like a twig and I launch at him only to get hauled back by Colt.

“Don’t even think about it, Michaels. Just walk away.”

I shrug him off and start walking across the parking lot to the side entrance of the school.

I am almost to the door when Ellen walks out. I turn right back around, heading for my truck. Screw this. I’m not feeling school today. The only reason I am eager to come is so I can see, Cassie.

“J! I feel so awful for the way Cassie treated you,” Ellen says, obviously lying through her teeth.

I don’t even bother with stopping to answer her. “Sure you are, Ellen.”

I get back in my truck and pull out my phone from my pocket, dialing Bo’s number.

“Yeah,” he answers in greeting.

“Where are you?”

“I’m home, bro. There was no way in hell she was going to school today. She hasn’t stopped crying since I picked her up.”

I am fighting an inner battle with myself. The thought of Cassie hurting tugs at my painfully beating heart, yet I don’t want to see her. Needing to stay away from her, I tell Bo, “I’m going for a drive. Let me know when you take her home.”

“J, you need to come here and talk to her.”

“No, I told you, I can’t do that yet.”

I hang up and toss my cell in the cup holder.

I peel out of the school’s parking lot not caring which way I go.

Everywhere I look, I see Cassie’s beautiful face until I finally give in and turn around at the county line, heading home.

Bo and my parents have been calling me non-stop, but I can’t bring myself to answer the phone.

When I park my truck in the driveway, I lean forward and rest my head against my hands on the steering wheel. Will I be able to handle seeing her? The pain from her betrayal is still raw, still fresh.

I hear knuckles rap on the window again. “Son, open the door,” Dad says.

Sitting up straight, I keep my head lowered afraid to look up for fear I would see her.

Opening my door, I climb out to face Dad.

“Come on, J, let’s go for a walk.” Dad pats my shoulder and guides me away from my truck and the house.

“Son, I know you’re hurting, but Bo is right, you need to talk to Cassie and hear her side. Remember, there are two sides to every story.”

“I know, Dad, I just wasn’t sure if I could handle seeing her just yet. I need some time.”

Dad sighs. “That’s understandable, J. Just don’t jump to conclusions without finding out the facts first. Just because someone showed you a picture that looks convincing, doesn’t mean you know what really happened.”

“Pictures speak a thousand words,” I reply bitterly.

“True, but they also don’t speak the truth each time. The picture could have been captured at the wrong moment perhaps, or maybe you didn’t get a good enough look to see what it’s really saying.”