Safe with You (18 page)

I struggle to keep my voice calm. If I yell back it will just make things worse. “No, I’m not.”

“Stop lying, Cassie! I’m not stupid! I know you went straight the chief’s house!”

“I did-” I was instantly cut off by the force of his hand connecting with my cheek.

I was afraid Bo would come barreling out from the closet more than I was of my father still yelling at me.
Please stay in the closet, Bo!

“If I find out that you’re telling your little boyfriend and his family about us you won’t like the consequences. If we are found it’s all on you. Our deaths will be on your hands. That’s if you’re still alive to carry the guilt,” my father sneers. “I suggest you think about that before you trust them.”
I trust them more than I do you or mom.

Dad then retreats out the door slamming it behind him.

Knowing I’m now going to have to tell Bo everything, I join him in the closet hoping we won’t be heard.

“What was that all about Cassie?” Bo growls while he inspects my cheek.

“If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell a soul. You have to take this to your grave.”

“I can’t promise anything yet.”

“If you tell this to anyone we will be gone as quick as you’ve said it.”

Bo runs his hands through his hair. “Fine, I promise.”

“Long story short my parents owe money to someone who they got drugs from. Instead of paying them the money that they owe them my parents packed us up and left. We’ve moved eight times in the last two years. They don’t want to stay in the same place long. So basically my parents are in hiding because if they are found they are dead. I will be too if I’m around when it happens.”

He shakes his head. “This is so messed up, Cassie.”

Trust me I know!
“Now do you understand why you have to keep this a secret?”

“You know if J finds out I know all of this he will beat the shit out of me.” He cringes as he says the words. “Not to mention that your dad slapped you and I did nothing.”

“I’m sorry you got dragged in the middle of this, but no matter what happens no one can know. As for my father hitting me, it was only the second time he’s ever done that.”

“That still doesn’t make it right, darlin’,” Bo snarls.

“You need to go before J comes down here wondering where you are.”

He sighs audibly. “Yeah, I’m sure he’s gonna ask me what took me so long.”

I think for a moment trying to come up with a lie that will work. “Just tell him that my father was sitting on the porch so we waited until he went back inside.”

He starts to walk out of the closet then he stops. “I hate this, Cassie. I hate that you’re involved in this and I hate that I can’t do anything about it.”

“Me too.” After one last hug, Bo disappears out my window and into the darkness.

I change into my favorite pair of yoga pants and a rolling stones t-shirt and shut off my light before climbing under the covers. I look at J’s phone in my hand and wonder if I text Bo’s phone if he’d respond. I swipe my hand across the screen and gasp when I see a picture of me in the background. When did he take this? I think this was the day I watched my first football game, the one where Bo went mental over. I’m sitting on the couch, looking at the TV, obviously oblivious to him snapping the picture. My hair is pulled back and I have a slight smile on my face.

Turning my eyes away from the picture I try to focus on the task at hand: figuring out where his message icon is. It turns out it wasn’t that hard to find. I tap the icon and all of his messages pull up on the page. Bo was the first one at the top of the threads. I tapped the screen on Bo’s thread and typed out the message.

Me: I miss you J

I get a reply instantly.

J: I’m worried about you Cass. I wish you could’ve stayed here tonight.

Me: I know J

J: I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing you’re over there in the midst of all that mess.

I won’t be able to sleep either, but I won’t tell him that. He’s already worrying about me.

Me: How about I stay awake with you?

I quickly shove the phone under the covers when I hear footsteps in the hallway. I pull the comforter up to my eyes and pray that whoever it is doesn’t come in my room. I cringe when the footsteps stop right outside my door. What if it’s the same guy from earlier? I clutch J’s phone tightly in my hand in case I have to make a run for it again. I hear hushed voices and then the creak of my door opening. Even though my back is to the door, I keep my eyes closed. I don’t want whoever it is to notice that I’m awake. The hushed voices start up again. I recognize my dad’s, but the second one I don’t. It sounds like a male voice, a young one. It definitely wasn’t the guy from earlier. I try to make out what they are saying, but they were talking too softly for me to hear.

After a minute, my door closes again and I hear their footsteps head back towards the living room. I let out all the air I had been holding in and pull J’s phone back out. Holy crap, I had three messages from him.

J: It would definitely help with my worry

J: You there Cass?

J: Cassie please answer me or I will come over to make sure you’re alright

Me: I’m fine J, I just had to pretend I was asleep for a minute

J: Why? What’s going on?

Me: Nothing, mom and dad just can’t know I have this phone

I need to think of something that will get his mind off this subject. What can I do, though? I hit several buttons on the screen trying to get it back to the home screen. Eventually, I figured out that all you had to do was mash the circle. I hit the camera icon and it opens. I know people take selfies these days, but I just need to figure out how to turn the camera around. It took me several seconds, but I found it and hold it out and snapped my first selfie. Too dark. Well, I guess I’ll have to do it the ole fashioned way. Geesh, that flash is bright. I check it to make sure it looks alright before I send it to him.

J: Are you sure everything is okay over there?

He had sent me that while I was busy taking a picture of myself, with clothes might I add. No way am I taking one of myself without clothes.

I send him the picture with the message:

Me: Everything’s fine

J: Damn…yeah I’d say everything’s fine

We spent the night texting back and forth. It was around four in the morning before all the noise was practically gone in the house.

J and I decided to call it a night/morning around seven in the morning. I crawl out of bed and look for a plug in, in the closet so I can secretly charge J’s phone. Once his phone starts charging, I fall into bed exhausted and slept hard.

Chapter Twenty- Three

Cassie

My parents, especially mom, have a triumphant gleam in her eyes. She knows Dad took away my one day of freedom. School doesn’t count because it’s mandatory. I do see J during the week at school, but it’s only in between classes, lunch, and gym class, which only averages out to about three hours a day.

After I eat lunch, since it is one o’clock before I even stirred, I start cleaning up the remains from the party. I grab an empty trash bag and pick up all of the empty plastic cups and whatever else they could think of to use and tossed them in the bag. I wipe down the table, the counter tops, and any other surface that needs cleaning. Dad is watching me like a hawk. It’s kind of creepy. I’m not sure why he staring at me. Is he gauging my reaction about not getting to go to J’s on Saturday’s anymore? That is the only explanation I could come up with. Hell, with my parents you never know what goes through their mind these days. Mom, well I don’t know where she ran off to. I continue my cleaning under dad’s watchful eye and finally three hours later, I am done with the whole house. Normally, it would take people longer, but since I tend to keep the house fairly spotless, it doesn’t take me too terribly long.

Since, I am done cleaning I decide to head my room to see if J had texted me yet. As I am passing through the living room Dad grabs my elbow, pulling me to a stop.

“Sit down I want to talk to you.”

What could he possibly want to say to me? Hope flares inside me when I get the insane idea that dad might actually have a heart and let me go see the one person that gives me butterflies from just one look. I quickly squash that idea no sooner than I had thought it. Hmph, like dad, will ever get his heart back. I sit on the old, worn out couch and tried to relax. The not knowing what was about to happen is what has me so tense. Once I am seated, Dad relaxes his aging body back in the recliner and links his fingers behind his head. Grey hair starts making its appearance a lot here lately, taking over his dark brown locks. His brown eyes are no longer alive, they look dead. He and mom basically handed their lives over to drugs and you can tell it is slowly torturing them.

“That boy you were with before we moved the first time…Zack, right?” I nod, curious about his rather odd question. “You two were together for a while and you were pretty upset when we had to leave.” I wanted to yell,
“Duh!”
, but I remain quiet and wait for him to get to the point. “Do you still miss him?” What kind of question is that? Maybe the more important question is do I? Do I miss Zack? Even after all this time if he asked me to be with him, would I say yes? What about J, though? Could I leave him and get back with Zack?

“I guess I miss him, I mean I don’t think we’d ever work out…” I trail off and shrug.

“Why wouldn’t you work out? You loved him, right?”

Of course, I loved Zack. We had just confessed our love to each other right before we moved. “I did love him,” I confirm. “But, I’m with J now.” My father scowls at the mention of J. “People change and Zack and I aren’t the same people we were back then so it’s not going to work.” Dad, of all people, should know that people change.

I’m still not understanding to point of this conversation. It’s not like I’ll see Zack again. He has no idea where I am and he has no way of contacting me.

“I liked Zack, Cassie. He was good to you. I wish you’d find someone like him. If you did, I’d give you more freedom.” There it is; the whole reason for this conversation.

I dug my nails into my palms. “
J
is good to me. He is just as good to me as Zack was.”

Dad sits up in the chair and rests his elbows on his knees. “That boy is leading you in the wrong direction, Cassie.” Is he blind? J is about as good as they get. “That’s why I try so hard to keep you from seeing him,” he explains. I thought the whole reason I couldn’t see him was because his dad was chief of police and dad was afraid Dan would be nosing around in his business?

I wanted to tell my father to go to hell because he wasn’t going to stop me from seeing, J, but I think better of it. No good would come out of me yelling or snapping at my father. Instead, I went with the truth. “I love, J.” I’ve been thinking about it for the past week. I came to the realization that I was head over heels in love J Michaels. It hit me like a ton of bricks. While I had been trying to push him away, my feelings edged me closer to him. I can’t stay away from J, no matter how hard I try.

My father’s nostrils flare. “We’re done here,” he dismisses me and I get up from the couch and happily walk to my room. First things first, I open the closet and crouch down to check for messages.

Inside, I squeal with glee when I notice he had.

J: It sucks without you here. I’m already planning our next sneak out.

An idea popped into my head.

Me: Let me see if I can go “run”

I set the phone back down and changed quickly into my running clothes. I stuffed J’s phone in my bra, making sure it isn’t visible before grabbing the door handle. Taking a deep breath and squaring my shoulders, I walk out confident that I can convince them to let me go for a “run”. They know that I pretty much run daily so I have that going for me. It could go downhill fast though if they know I’m just making up an excuse to see my boyfriend, which is true, but they don’t need to know that.

“I’m going for a run dad, I’ll be back.”

He looks up from the TV and eyes me curiously. “Which way are you going?” I point to the left which is the exact opposite of the way to J’s. “You have one hour. Don’t make me have to come find you,” he says sternly, narrowing his eyes.

“I’ll be back on time,” I promise and then jog out the door. I wait until I’m way out of sight before pulling out my phone and calling Bo’s phone.

“Hey beautiful, which way are you headed?” J’s excited voice greets me.

“Uh, all I know is that I turned left out of my driveway.”

“Good, there is a barn like a mile or mile and a half up the road on your right. Meet me there. I’ll be on the four-wheeler.”