Safe at Last (Slow Burn #3) (36 page)

The crazy thing was that she wanted to reach over, take his hand and tell him it would be all right. That everything would be all right. But she couldn’t tell him what she didn’t know to be absolute truth.

And so she sat, as silent as him, and willed the drive to go faster.

She recognized the safe house as they pulled in. The same place they’d taken her after she’d been abducted. No other cars were there, which meant they would be alone. She swallowed nervously as Zack firmly told her to stay put. Then he got out and walked around to her side and opened the door.

He helped her out, careful not to jar her shoulder, and then he wrapped his arm around her waist and they walked slowly to the front door. Once inside he led her into the living room and settled her at an angle on the couch so she wasn’t leaning back against her stitches.

And then he began to pace. For a long while he was silent as though he were collecting his thoughts and deciding what to say. Sensing just how important this was, she waited quietly, watching for when he would begin.

He dragged a hand through his hair and finally turned to her, his eyes raw and ravaged with grief and sorrow.

“I shouldn’t put you through this right now. God knows it’s the worst possible time. You’ve been through hell and here I am about to put you back through hell all over again. But I can’t wait, Gracie. Because every day that passes that you believe I did something so repulsive and . . . evil . . . a part of me dies. I’m a bastard for doing this and I hope you can forgive me when all is said and done, but I’m a bastard who loves you with every breath in my body. And I can’t, I just can’t let you believe the worst of me a minute longer.”

She sucked in her breath because yes, now she could read his mind, when before she couldn’t. And she could sense undying sincerity. And love. His thoughts were chaotic, a jumbled mass of pain, anger and regret. But at the forefront of everything was love. For her.

And he’d always loved her. He’d never stopped. Oh God. Had she been wrong? Had she done this to them by not having faith in him?

“Tell me,” she managed to say. “I have to know. I
need
to know.”

And so Zack related every single detail of his trip to Tennessee. His confrontation with Stuart and then with his father. And finally the other two men involved. She was already numb, completely frozen by all he said, but then he took his phone out of his pocket and placed it on the coffee table in front of her before sitting down beside her on the couch.

“If it’s too much, just tell me to stop. If it upsets you or hurts you too much, it stops. But this is proof, Gracie. In their own words. Stuart’s confession. My father’s. I didn’t bother with the others. I was too bent on killing them.”

Anna-Grace swung her gaze to him in alarm. “You didn’t.”

There was a savage fire in Zack’s eyes. “I wanted to. God, I wanted to. But no, I didn’t. I wouldn’t doubt they spent a few days in the hospital though.”

She stared at the phone as though it were a snake prepared to strike. Could she do this? Could she listen to the details of her rape all over again?

And then sudden peace descended and settled over her. Yes. She was ready. Because if what Zack said was true, then that recording absolved him of any participation in the crime. And if that was also true, then she’d made a terrible, terrible mistake that they’d both paid for over a very long time.

“Play it,” she said hoarsely.

Slowly Zack reached over and pressed a button on his phone. She flinched when Stuart’s voice filled the room. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the instant bombardment of images from that day.

When the recording got to Zack’s conversation with his father, she knotted her fist and it flew to her mouth, pressing deeply as she tried to prevent her sounds of pain from escaping.

Somewhere in the midst of it all, Zack’s arm slid gently around her waist and he pulled her to his chest, gently rocking her back and forth as the vile words his father had spewed rang in her ears.

“Stop! It’s enough!” she cried.

Zack immediately ended the recording and then turned to Anna-Grace with dread and so much pain in his eyes.

He slid to the floor in front of her, getting on his knees, taking both her hands in his.

“I am so sorry, Gracie,” he said, tears glimmering in his eyes. “I left you unprotected. I allowed this to happen to you. I should have taken you with me or just stayed with you and not gone away to college. I don’t know that you’ll ever be able to forgive me. God, I can’t forgive myself. But I’ve never stopped loving you. I’ve never stopped looking for you. I’ve never stopped hoping that one day we’d be together again.”

Tears slipped hotly down Anna-Grace’s cheeks. Oh God. So much time wasted. So many years. If only . . . There were so many if-onlys. And no way to take back the past. No way to undo it all and start all over again.

Or could they?

“How do you not hate
me
?” she said in a stricken voice. “I didn’t trust in you. I’ve hated you for twelve years. I said horrible, horrible things to you. Oh God.”

She yanked her hands from Zack’s and covered her face as sobs welled from her throat.

Zack was there in an instant, enfolding her in his strong embrace. He simply held her, rocking her and brushing kisses over the top of her head.

Then he gently pried her hands away from her face and slowly lowered his mouth until it hovered just over hers. And he pressed his lips so very gently to hers.

It was a sense of homecoming so powerful, so overwhelming that it very nearly shattered her composure. Nothing had ever been so sweet. Not before. His lips moved with exquisite tenderness until her lips parted and his tongue brushed against hers.

She inhaled deeply, taking in his scent, oh so familiar and haunting. And she kissed him back, allowing all her grief, sorrow, regret and . . . love . . . to bleed into that kiss.

“I could never hate you, Gracie,” Zack said against her lips. “Never. I’ve always loved you. I always will. Can you forgive the past? Will you give me another chance to make things right between us? I swear to you I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy. Protecting you. Loving you. And our children.”

She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his as more tears slid down her cheeks. “I have nothing to give you, Zack. They took it. I had nothing. I was nothing. All I had that was precious to me was my virginity. That was all I could give you when you gave so much to me. And they took that. How could you want me after what they did?”

“Oh baby, no,” Zack said in an aching voice.

He pulled her away so he could look her in the eye, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. He tipped her chin upward with his finger until she was forced to look at him.

“Read my mind right now, Gracie. See inside the heart of me. And then you tell me that I don’t love you. That I don’t want you with every breath in my body.”

She hesitated, a little afraid to hope. But his gaze was steady and sure and his eyes so very warm and loving.

She released the tight constraints she’d put in place and allowed herself into his mind and she was immediately flooded by a wave of love so strong that she swayed. There was so much he was thinking. About their future. Their wedding. The children they’d one day have. And how he looked forward to waking up every single day with her next to him.

It was simply too much.

She leaned into him again, grasping him tightly as though she feared he’d simply disappear. Her sobs were raw and horrible sounding. Guttural, coming from the very depths of her soul.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a terrible voice. “I’m so sorry, Zack. Oh God, I’m sorry. You should hate me. I didn’t trust you. I wasted so many years hating you for something you never did. And yet you ask
me
for forgiveness.”

Zack stroked her hair and then buried his face in the strands and she felt the warmth of his own tears against her head.

“There is nothing to forgive, Gracie. We were set up. Of course you believed that I orchestrated it. That’s what they wanted. They are to blame. Not you. Not me.”

She lifted her head, her vision watery as she stared back at him.

“I love you,” she whispered. “I never stopped loving you. Even when I hated you, a part of me knew I’d always love you and mourn the loss of what we had.”

Zack seemed to crumble before her very eyes. Profound relief and for the first time . . . hope . . . shone in his eyes.

He cupped her face in his hands and his expression became very serious.

“You didn’t give them your virginity, Gracie. They took it. They took something very precious, but you know what? Virginity is more than a thin barrier that proclaims a woman’s innocence. And on our wedding night, when you give yourself to me, you will have given me a gift more precious than any other. Because it
will
be our first time. Together. And just as we were going to wait before, I want to wait now. Until you’re my wife. I want our first time together to be as man and wife.”

She stared at him in wonderment. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

He laughed, though it sounded more like choked emotion. “Apparently not very well.”

He went back to one knee and gathered her hands in his, his expression somber and so very serious.

“Gracie, will you marry me? Will you live with me and love me until this life is over and the next begins? Will you have my children and fulfill all the dreams we ever dreamed?”

She pulled one hand free and cupped it against Zack’s bristly, unshaven jaw. For the first time in so very long, she felt . . . free. Happy. Optimistic. As though a terrible wrong had been righted and the world was as it should be once more.

“Oh yes,” she breathed. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Zack. I love you. I’ll always love you.”

He pulled her into his arms, ever mindful of her shoulders, and he simply held her as his body heaved against her. “Thank God,” he whispered. “Thank God.”

She closed her eyes, absorbing the sense of rightness, feeling true peace for the first time in twelve long years.

“I don’t want to wait,” he said gruffly. “But I also want you to have the wedding we always planned. I won’t have it any other way. We’ll invite our friends here, but we’re getting married in a church, by a preacher, and you are definitely wearing white.”

“How about we wait just long enough that I get these stitches out,” she said with a smile. “It would kind of suck not to have our wedding night because I’m still recuperating.”

He smiled back at her and suddenly she saw the boy she’d fallen in love with when she was just a young girl. It was as if the years fell away and his eyes glowed with happiness and renewed hope.

“Deal,” he said. “Besides, it’ll take that long to plan a proper wedding, and I plan to pull out all the stops.”

THIRTY-FIVE

“WHY
am I so nervous?” Gracie asked breathlessly, as butterflies scuttled around her belly.

She stared into the full-length mirror and saw a woman she didn’t recognize. And yet, she also saw a sixteen-year-old girl who was finally getting the day she’d dreamed of.

Eliza and Ari flanked Gracie, their smiles broad and their eyes sparkling with excitement and happiness. It was contagious. No one in the small bridal room of the church was immune to the electric current of joy.

“You look beautiful,” Eliza said, a sheen of moisture reflecting wetly in her eyes.

“Don’t you dare make me cry, Eliza!” Ari admonished, scrunching her face in various ways to prevent her own eyes from tearing. “Weddings always make me cry, and this one more than most.”

Gracie did her own blinking and then held her eyes wide open to dry. Her hair and makeup was perfect, but then it had taken over an hour to get it that way. And she wanted to look her absolute best when she walked down the aisle to Zack. Finally to Zack.

At the mere thought of him, the butterflies swarmed again, giving her a slight queasiness that had her breathing in through her nose.

“You’re not going to puke, are you?” Eliza asked anxiously. “Because that dress is just too gorgeous to be puked on. I’ll wrap you in a garbage bag if I have to, but the dress must be saved!”

Ramie and Ari laughed and Ramie poked her head between the mirror and Gracie, giving Gracie a final once-over, her brow furrowed in concentration as she studied every detail of Gracie’s appearance.

Then Ramie smiled. “You’re all set.”

She reached for Gracie’s hand and gathered it tightly in hers. When Gracie put her other hand on top of Ramie’s and squeezed back—a gesture of thanks and unity—Ari and Eliza put their hands over Gracie’s and the four women stood there in solidarity.

The last few months hadn’t been the easiest. DSS had made three hits on facilities utilized by the fanatical group that had caused Ari, Gracie and Eliza so much pain. And not only had Gracie, Ari and Ramie been left behind to worry for the men of DSS, but they’d had to worry about Eliza as well, because she’d refused to be left behind.

Only one man had been taken back, shoved before Gracie under the guise of her identifying him. She hadn’t even had to have him questioned. His defeat and rage over their entire organization coming down at DSS’s instigation was as clear as if he’d said his thoughts aloud.

Gracie had merely nodded at Zack, Dane and Beau and then closed her eyes, her hands trembling. It had been over then.

She opened her eyes and once more she was in the bridal room, her dearest and only friends all gathered around her, staring back at their reflection in the mirror.

“Surely this is the granddaddy of all selfie opportunities?” Eliza announced. “No one move!”

Eliza reached back and fumbled with her phone and then inserted it in front of them, angling it and lifting it so it captured as much of them in the photo as possible.

“Think I’ll send this to Zack now,” Eliza said with an impish grin. “It’ll drive him crazy.”

“The groom is not supposed to see the bride before the wedding,” Ari reprimanded.

Ramie snorted. “He drove her to the church this morning. While Zack is refreshingly traditional in many ways I wouldn’t have expected, not seeing his bride for any extended period of time is not one he’s going to be down with.”