Safe (19 page)

“Talk to me, baby.”

She didn’t say a word. The tears just continued to fall.

“Sadie, please tell me what’s going on. Everything will be all right.”

“No it won’t,” she whispered.

“I’ll make it all right.”

“You can’t. You barely know me.”

Unfortunately, this was very true, and it bothered me. I wanted to know everything about Sadie. And wasn’t that a first for me.

“I want to know you, Sadie. I want to help you.” Her eyes never left mine, but her tears were falling faster and faster.

“Thank you for staying with me last night. You can go ahead and go now.”

Her damn words gut me like a fish. To hell if I was going anywhere without this woman. It was about damn time she realized it. “I’m not going anywhere, Sadie.”

“Really, I’m okay. I’m calm. I won’t do anything stupid like I did yesterday.” She wiped her eyes and began to take deep breaths, I assume to calm herself.

Letting the idea of me leaving drop, because my ass wasn’t stepping foot out of this house, I asked, “Why were you so mad yesterday?”

“I can’t talk about it, all right.” Her voice raised about a thousand octaves and put me a bit off balance. Then she began crying in earnest.

“Come here.” I reached around her and pulled her to my lap. I held her just like I did yesterday, rocking her back and forth. Several loud voices came from outside the door. They seemed to be getting closer and closer.

When the door flew open, both Sadie and I jumped. We immediately turned to look at the door. “Aunt Maggie,” Sadie whispered and crawled quickly out of my arms. She ran over to Maggie and wrapped her arms around her.

“It’s okay, Sadie. It’s okay,” she kept telling her while stroking her hair.

Maggie looked down at me and smiled. “I’ve got this for right now, Landon. How about you go have some coffee with Jim for a bit.”

I nodded, saying, “Yes, ma’am,” and got up to leave. I tried to make eye contact with Sadie, but her face was buried in Maggie’s neck. I reluctantly left the room.

Sitting with his back to me at the island, Jim sat drinking his coffee. “Hey Jim.”

“Hey boy! Hear you had a hell of a night.”

“Yeah.” I didn’t know what he knew, and to be completely honest, I was tired as shit.

“Come sit and tell me all about it. Lauryn told us what she saw, but let’s hear it from you,” Jim said, scooting the barstool out with his foot.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and began to tell Jim everything that I saw and heard last night. Every time I relived it, it got worse. It felt as if it was eating me from the inside out.

“It sounds like you care about her, Landon.”

“Yes sir,” I said without hesitation. My realization that I cared this much about her was hitting full force.

“And she hasn’t told you anything?” Jim’s eyebrow shot up.

“No sir. I don’t think she trusts me.” I bowed my head at my words, feeling the sting of them. I just wished she would trust me.

“Trust is a very hard thing, especially when it’s been broken over and over again,” Jim said while sipping his coffee.

“I know,” I said quietly. Jim knew what happened with Stacy and Brad. He also knew how I dealt with it.

“I know you do. It’s a hard thing to gain back, but you being here yesterday and last night will help build it.”

“I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

“I know. For that, she’ll be grateful.”

“You think? I don’t know if she wants me here.” I sounded like a freaking wimp. I shouldn’t give two shits if she didn’t want me around.

“You have to give her time.”

“I know.”

Patting me on the back, he continued as he got up to refill his coffee cup. “Landon, I’m gonna give you a small insight, but Sadie will have to do the rest because I don’t know much beyond what I’m gonna tell you.”

“Okay,” I said, quietly staring at him.

“Sadie’s dad died about four years back. He was a good man—loved his kids and wife more than anything. When he passed, the entire family took it very hard. Sarah, Sadie’s mom, was pretty much bedridden with grief. Sadie spent her days trying to take care of her, when she could. Sadie was beyond devastated. Seth just wanted to escape. He joined the Marines a week after his death, and we haven’t seen much of him since.”

I continued to stare at him, just taking all this information in.

“I’m telling you this because Sadie was only twenty years old at the time, and her whole world collapsed at her feet.”

“Do you think that’s why she hurt herself yesterday?”

“I’m not sure. We haven’t had a chance to talk to her mom yet. We rushed home as soon as Lauryn called, and we wanted to know what happened before calling her.”

“I don’t know how to help her,” I whispered.

“You know, son, the most important thing here, is that you want to help her.”

I did want to help her, more than anything. I wanted to erase the pain.

I was officially sobbing into Aunt Maggie’s neck. I’d make absolutely no apologies for it. I needed it more than I realized. I felt her arms tighten around me, and her hand brushing my back lightly.

The scent of lavender flooded my senses. I always loved the way she smelled. She must’ve bathed in the stuff because she’d smelled this way since I was a child. Her comforting way reminded me so much of my mom.

Pulling away, I looked directly in her eyes. “You didn’t call Mom, did you?”

She wiped the hair away from my face. “No. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Thank you.”

I let go of Aunt Maggie. She reached over to the dresser and grabbed the tissue box. I grabbed a wad and started aggressively wiping my face.

I sat on my bed and looked up to her. I didn’t know what I wanted to hear from her and I didn’t know what I wanted to say.

The more I looked at her, the more I wanted to spill my guts to her. But I knew I couldn’t. I already had to worry about Mom, Seth, and Macy; I didn’t want to add more to my list.

I knew that when Rob found me, he would be beyond furious, and I couldn’t risk having anyone else in the crossfire.

Not only that, there was nothing she could do. There was nothing anyone could do. Rob was a cop—one of the ‘good guys.’ No one would believe that he liked to use me as a punching bag.

Better it was me, than someone I loved.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aunt Maggie asked, snapping me into the present.

I shook my head no.

Aunt Maggie sat next to me on the bed, lifting one leg and turning toward me. I moved to the same position.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to. Can I tell you a story?”

A story. What?

I shook my head.

“Just listen.” She took her hand and patted my leg.

I just sat there while she talked.

“Back in high school, there was this young lady who was madly in love with the hottest boy in school. He was super popular and the star football player. All the girls wanted to be with him, but he chose her. She was incredibly happy with him.”

Pausing to take a breath, she continued, “Slowly, she started distancing herself from her friends. She had every excuse in the book, but the real reason was him. He wanted to be the center of her universe, and she was more than happy to accommodate him.”

I sat there listening to her story. Part of me wanted to scream, ‘why are you telling me this?’ The other part, though, was screaming at this girl to get away from him.

“He somehow convinced her that she would be nothing without him. That he was the reason she was popular. He was the reason she was the most envied girl in school, and he could rip it away anytime he wanted to. She believed him.”

Drawing in a steady breath, Aunt Maggie grabbed my hands and looked deep in my eyes. The tears stinging the back of my eyes wanted to come out. I did my best to blink them away. It was hard when Aunt Maggie had so much concern laced in her eyes.

“When he began using his hands on her, she didn’t have anyone to turn to. She had effectively lost her friends, and he was the only one she had left. Even when the marks were becoming more pronounced, she made excuses for him—she fell or ran into the table. She did anything and everything to protect him, when she was the one who needed protection.”

“Why did she protect him?” I whispered.

“There were a few reasons actually. One, she was the most popular girl in school with the most popular boy. You know that holds a lot of weight in high school. Two, she lost all of her friends, and if she lost him, she would be alone. Being alone is a very scary thought. Three, her sister.”

My eyes grew wide. I couldn’t help the kneejerk reaction to her words. She patted my hands and continued.

“See, he told her that if she told anyone, he would break up with her and go out with her sister. And she knew what that would entail and didn’t want to subject her to that.”

“She was protecting her. Did she get away?” My words were so quiet. I was terrified to hear the answer, but could relate to protecting a loved one.

“Yes, she did. Now, it wasn’t by opening her mouth, which over the years she realized was a huge mistake. It was circumstances. He got a football scholarship and moved away. He didn’t even look back at her. She was crushed, and well, destroyed, but it ended up being the best thing for her, even if it took her years to figure it out.”

So, she got away, but never told a soul. He just walked away, which was something I knew Rob would never do. What was I supposed to do with this? If anything it was making me jealous.

It only gave me one answer. Aunt Maggie knew what was going on with me.

She hadn’t come out and said it, but she knew.

“What happened to her?” I asked.

“She went to college, met a wonderful man, has been married for thirty years, and has two beautiful children.”

“Sounds like she did good.” I give her a small smirk.

“It took a long time to heal those wounds. The emotional ones were harder than the physical. The physical fade in a few weeks, whereas the emotional stays with a person forever.”

I didn’t say anything to her. I just watched her face. She was etched with … hurt?

“You really don’t know, do you Sadie?”

“Know what?”

“It’s me, Sadie. The girl is me.”

My eyes opened wide, and I gasped. Shocked, stunned, speechless, all of these mixed emotions ran through me. Aunt Maggie was in a relationship like me. She knew. She … protected my mom.

The tears began to spill over and run down my face, but no words came out of my mouth.

Aunt Maggie pulled me into her and held me in her arms while I cried and cried.

I wanted to tell her now more than ever. I wanted to blurt it out. But the fear was too strong. The fear of Rob.

“Sadie, I just want you to know that you can talk to me whenever you want. I am always here to listen. I have to tell you something else.”

I sat back on my knees and watched her face.

“I didn’t fully heal until Jim. Until I met him and he showed me what a loving relationship was. Now, don’t get me wrong. I fought him.” She looked at me while I flinched. “No, no, no. Not like that. I resisted and pushed him away. I didn’t want to be hurt again. I didn’t think I could survive it again. I thought that I didn’t deserve to have a nice guy love me or care about me. Jim showed me otherwise. Every day I thank him.”

Aunt Maggie’s eyes were so full of love and hope. I wondered if mine would ever feel that again. I knew she was talking about Landon.

With my mind so focused on Rob and my mistakes, I really hadn’t taken the time to think about him in that way. The past day he’d been my comfort and safety. I couldn’t explain it. I just did.

A safety that I didn’t know existed. But could I trust it? I didn’t know.

“Sadie, things in this life happen for a reason. We don’t always know what that reason is, and we may hate that we’re subjected to learning it the way we do. But like it or not, we learn from it. We grow from it.”

“But how does someone get out of it?” I whispered to her, not making eye contact.

Without hesitation, Aunt Maggie looked deep in my eyes. “By talking. Talking to one’s mom, friend, aunt, cousin. Talking and not hiding what’s happening.”

I stared at her. She knew that was easier said than done. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t. I felt that Aunt Maggie would believe me though. She was the first person who I thought would get it.

But I kept my mouth shut and wiped my face.

“I’m sorry about the mirror. I’ll replace it.”

“Nonsense. Those Ellison boys already did. It’s as if it never happened.”

Yeah … right. No one would forget this. “Come on. Clean yourself up. Uncle Jim wants his hug.” She smiled at me and stood up from the bed, holding her hand out for me to grab. I took it and rose from where I was sitting.

Aunt Maggie wrapped me in a huge hug, which I returned.

After cleaning up, we headed down the hall where I heard laughter. Landon’s laughter. The sound made me smile. His laugh was so manly and deep. I loved hearing it.

Aunt Maggie cleared her throat, and both Landon and Uncle Jim turned to look at us. Landon gave me a small smirk, which I mirrored.