Authors: Joan Jonker
‘Oh!’ Sadie clapped a hand to her mouth. The room was the same size as the bedroom at home, but there were five of them sharing that. This one was just for her.
There
was a single wardrobe, a small chest of drawers with a mirror hanging over it, a wooden kitchen chair and the bed that the King himself might have slept in. Oh, the luxury of it! A wardrobe all to herself and even a mirror! ‘Grandma, it’s beautiful. I won’t know meself having such privacy. And yer’ve got the bed nice – I like the knitted cover.’
‘I made that meself, many years ago. In fact, I made it when my Joe was still working so yer can tell how old it is. I could afford the wool then, with his money coming in.’
‘Talkin’ about money, Grandma, can yer tell me how much yer’ll need for me keep?’
Sarah pursed her lips and frowned in concentration. ‘I don’t know, sweetheart, I’ve never had no lodger before. What had you in mind?’
‘I honestly don’t know. You’ll have to tell me ’cos you know how much more food yer’ll have to buy.’
‘How about four bob a week, would that be too much?’
‘Yer can’t keep me on four bob a week!’ Sadie’s voice rose. ‘Yer’ll not get far on four shillings.’
‘Sadie, four bob will go a long way in this house, believe me. It’s only a case of a few more potatoes and a bit more of this an’ that. When yer making a dinner, one extra is neither here nor there. Those few shillings will be a great help to me and Joe, I can tell yer.’
‘All right then, Grandma, we’ll start off with me givin’ yer five bob, and I’ll give yer extra when I can. Will that suit yer?’
‘It’s more than ample, sweetheart, if yer sure yer not leaving yerself short?’
‘I’ll have more in me pocket than I’ve ever had,’ Sadie told her honestly. ‘So I’ll buy the bedding and I need some warm clothes for meself. I also want to try and get some warm clothes for me brothers and sisters or they’ll freeze all through the winter.’
‘Yer takin’ a lot on yer shoulders for a young girl, sweetheart. Don’t leave yerself skint every week – get out and enjoy yerself.’
‘I do get out, Grandma, but I don’t pay for meself. If a
boy
asks me out then it’s only right that he should pay. If I had to fork out meself I’d never go anywhere ’cos I’ve never got the money.’
‘But yer’ll be better off after next week,’ Sarah said. ‘Yer’ll have a bit more in yer purse each week.’
‘I still won’t pay for meself, not if I can help it, anyway.’ Sadie had a determined look on her pretty face. ‘Mary Ann told me to put a few coppers away for a rainy day an’ I’m goin’ to follow her advice. I’ll buy all the things I’ve just mentioned, but after that I’m goin’ to save up an’ get a bit of money behind me.’
‘You can cross my feller off yer list, then, sweetheart, ’cos he wouldn’t be able to afford yer. He’s never got more than a few coppers in his pocket, just enough for his half-pint of bitter a couple of times a week and his ounce of baccy.’
‘I’ll mug both of yer when I’m in the money, Grandma.’ Sadie put her arm across Sarah’s shoulders. ‘I’ll be tight-fisted with me boyfriends but never with you and Grandad.’
‘Listen to me, lass, by just coming to live with us yer have given us something that no amount of money could buy. We’ll have a reason for living now, with someone coming in from work every night and telling us all that’s happened during the day. Someone to sit at the table and have a meal with us instead of me an’ Joe sitting lookin’ at each other with nothing to say. We love the bones of each other, but when yer get to our age and never go anywhere, there’s nothing to talk about only the old days, and that makes us sad.’
‘Yer’ll not be sad when I’m here, ’cos I won’t let yer be. I’ll talk the hind legs off yer with all the goings-on at the market. There’s some funny things happen there, I can tell yer. I’ll have you and Grandad laughing yer socks off every night.’
‘We’d better get downstairs or all me fairy cakes will be gone. He’s got a very sweet tooth, has my Joe – can’t resist a cake. And the sight of a slab of Cadbury’s has him watering at the mouth.’
Sadie turned for a last look at the room that was to be her very own. She wanted it imprinted on her mind so she could dream it up if she started to get cold feet towards the end of the following week. She brought a smile to Sarah’s face when she whispered, ‘Goodbye, room, see yer next Saturday.’
Sadie stayed and had some tea with Sarah and Joe, then when she was leaving at half-seven they both came to see her off with a hug and a kiss. When she reached the corner of the street she turned to see them still watching her, Joe’s arm across his wife’s shoulders. She blew them a kiss before turning into Scottie Road, thinking how wonderful it was that two people still loved each other so much after sixty years. They would have made marvellous parents and it must have broken their hearts when their sons died so young.
Sadie was in high spirits as her long slim legs covered the ground, taking her to her meeting in the park with Harry. In her mind she went over every little detail of the house that was to be her new home. Sarah had it like a little palace and it would be a treat to come back to it every night after work. And the bedroom, well, she couldn’t find the right words to describe how she felt about having a bedroom all to herself so she shivered with delight. But best of all were the two lovely people who had agreed to share their home with her. If she’d had a million people to choose from, they were the two she would have chosen.
As she neared her destination, Sadie’s happiness dimmed. After tonight she’d only see Harry one more time. One more time to feel his gentle embrace and his tender lips on hers. No other boy kissed her like Harry did, even Geoff. There was nothing demanding about him, he was just, well, just nice. She would miss him, but with the passing of time she’d get over him. As he would get over her. Just a memory to be recalled with affection.
Harry was waiting inside the park gates and his face lit up at the sight of her. ‘Yer look as lovely as ever,
Sadie.’
He reached for her hand and squeezed it as they walked towards their favourite spot, both hoping it wasn’t taken over by a courting couple. ‘The best-looking girl in Liverpool, bar none.’
‘Flattery won’t get yer nowhere, Harry Young. Yer probably have the same patter for all yer girlfriends.’
‘I might say it to them,’ Harry laughed and his dimples deepened, ‘but I don’t mean it, not like I do with you.’
‘You’ll fall for a girl one of these days, Harry, and yer’ll be asking yerself what yer ever saw in “that Sadie Wilson from next door”.’
‘Never in a million years, Sadie.’ He gave a sigh of relief at finding their speck empty. Reaching for her other hand, he held them both in his. ‘To me you will always be the beautiful girl next door. Even when we’re both old and grey, you will always be that.’
It’s funny he should say that, Sadie thought. Me grandad said practically the same thing about me grandma. But me and Harry will never grow old together like they have; my family have made sure of that.
‘The nights are drawing in pretty quick now,’ Harry said, his head tilted slightly. ‘In another couple of weeks it’ll be dark at eight o’clock. How would yer fancy meeting me straight from work one night and we can go for a trip on the ferry? We could go to New Brighton and spend an hour at the fairground. You enjoyed it last time.’
‘Yeah, okay.’ Sadie had to force the words past the lump in her throat. ‘I’d like that.’
Harry leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. ‘That’s not counted as a kiss, don’t forget. I’m workin’ me way up to one of me smackeroos so it’ll last longer. It’s got to see me over until Wednesday, and that’s a long time.’
‘Yer a soppy article, Harry Young. So soppy I’ll let yer have two smackeroos tonight. That should keep yer going until Wednesday.’
When he dropped her hands and pulled her into his arms, Sadie laid her head on his chest and wished she could be straight with him and tell him there was no chance of her going on the ferry with him, because she
would
be long gone out of his life. But she knew she couldn’t tell him that without also telling him where she was going and why.
She lifted her face and her blue eyes gazed into his deep brown ones. ‘Can I have me first of the two kisses, please?’
Harry felt a tingle run down his spine. She was the only girl who had that effect on him. ‘I’m always willing to oblige a lady. And seeing as you asked for this one, it doesn’t count.’
When they parted half an hour later to make their way home by different routes, Sadie was clutching Harry’s sixpence in the palm of her hand. It would be the last one she’d ever get from him and she vowed never to spend it. She’d keep it, no matter how hard up she was, so she’d always have something to remember him by. There was a sadness in her heart that took away some of the joy she’d felt earlier. Grandad was right – it was hard to walk away.
Harry was whistling as he neared home and there was a spring in his step. A night out with Sadie, hours in her company instead of a stolen half-hour, was really something to look forward to. He grinned as he remembered the ride in the ghost train, when she’d clung to him in fear. They’d definitely have another go on that!
Bobby proved himself the perfect gentleman by sharing his attentions between Sadie and Brenda. And while Sadie was grateful to him, Brenda was delighted to be treated with such courtesy. He sat between them in the picture house and handed them each a small box of Cadbury’s chocolates. He would have preferred to be on his own with Sadie, holding her hand in the darkness of the cinema, but she’d asked him not to leave Brenda out or she’d feel like a gooseberry. And he had to admit that the girl sitting on his left was a lot more pleasant to him than she had been on the night they were out in a foursome. And with a smile on her face instead of a frown, she was really quite pretty. Not in the same class
as
Sadie, mind, but then very few girls were.
When the picture house emptied, the threesome stood on the pavement outside and waited for the crowds to disperse. ‘I enjoyed that,’ Brenda said. ‘I think the Three Stooges are a scream.’
‘Yeah, it was a good laugh.’ Bobby grinned at Sadie. ‘Did yer like the picture, Sadie?’
‘It was hilarious,’ Sadie lied. In fact, if they asked her she couldn’t have told them what the film was about because her mind had been elsewhere. Everything she did these past few days was in the knowledge that it would be for the final time. Like last night with Harry – it was almost more than she could bear when he said he’d see her on Sunday as usual. It took all her willpower not to blurt out the truth. She was surprised he didn’t notice the change in her, how she’d kissed him as she never had before and held him as though she never wanted to let him go. And when she drank in his features, his mop of dark hair, deep brown eyes, strong white teeth and attractive dimples, she really didn’t want to let him go. But even if she stayed he would never be hers, there would always be a barrier between them.
Tonight was the same. This was the last time she’d go out with Bobby. But while she was fond of him, there wasn’t the depth of feeling there that she had for Harry.
‘Look, Bobby, you don’t live far from Brenda, why don’t yer see her home?’ Sadie hoped her attempt at matchmaking wouldn’t be in vain. ‘I’ll be all right on me own.’
Bobby didn’t like that idea one little bit. Blimey, he hadn’t objected to the girl tagging along because that was what Sadie wanted, but to be expected to see her home was taking things a bit too far. ‘I’m not leaving yer here on yer own. We’ll see Brenda safely on the tram, then I’ll walk yer part of the way home like I always do.’
‘Bobby, that’s a crazy idea! You get the same number tram as Brenda, yer may as well travel together.’ Sadie could see his forlorn expression, and as she leaned forward to kiss him on the lips she told herself that was another
thing
she was doing for the last time. ‘It’s only for tonight, Bobby.’
A kiss in public from Sadie raised his spirits. She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t like him. ‘Oh, okay, as long as yer sure yer’ll be all right.’
‘Go on, poppy off, I’ll see yer both tomorrow in work.’
Sadie watched them walk away, thinking that her disappearance would bring them together. They were bound to wonder why she didn’t come to see them as promised, and the more they talked and wondered, the closer they’d become. At least, that was Sadie’s hope.
On the Saturday morning Sadie sat on her bed waiting for her father to leave for work. When she heard the front door close behind him she carefully pulled the paper bag from under her bed. In that bag were all her worldly possessions: a dress, blouse and skirt and a change of underwear. The small things – her purse, comb, lipstick and soap – were in her handbag. She crept to the door, avoiding the floorboard that creaked, then turned to look at the four sleeping children in the double bed. Last night, before she went out to meet Geoff, she’d kissed each of them and said a silent goodbye. It wasn’t goodbye for ever, she would definitely see them again as soon as possible. But that thought wasn’t enough to stop her tummy from turning over with nerves, guilt and sadness.
Downstairs, Sadie made herself a jam buttie and poured out a cup of the tepid tea left over from her father. Then as she sat at the table eating her meagre breakfast, her eyes raked the room. The broken-down sideboard that her father had been too lazy to ever fix, the cluttered table that her mother and Dot never thought of clearing, the floor which was so dirty your feet stuck to the lino, and the tattered and torn couch with the springs sticking up through the filthy moquette. But worse than the sight of the filthy room was the smell. Dirt mixed with urine, soiled nappies and sweat. It was so strong it was nauseating and Sadie screwed up her face as she forced herself to eat the
bread
and drink the tea. She’d get nothing else to eat now until she got to Sarah’s, and she couldn’t go all day on an empty tummy.
Sadie got to her feet and picked up the paper bag and handbag. She took one last look around and compared this room to that of her new home. Regrets? Not in a million years.