Sacrifice (27 page)

Han’s mouth twisted. “It was the abbot’s choice.” He paused. “But why you?”

Kai Sen’s heart grew heavier, that his friend wanted this thing he did not. “Because you are too good, Han,” he replied in a low voice.

Kai Sen had always wondered why the abbot had singled him out for favor. Han might not be as fast or agile as Kai Sen, but he was every bit as strong a fighter and much more dependable. Always responsible. Truthful. Kai Sen saw now that Abbot Wu needed a successor who knew how to keep secrets and deceive, someone for whom lying came as second nature. For as long as he had known Han, he had never caught his friend in a lie. Whereas Kai Sen had lied his entire life to protect himself. He hid his clairvoyance, his ability to see the dead, his intuition that was nearly always right from everyone he knew so he could appear normal and fit in. Only the abbot was aware of his deception. And it was for the ease in which he deceived everyone, Kai Sen was convinced, that the abbot had chosen him.

“Too good?” Han said. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Not much does these days, brother.”

Han let out a long breath and continued walking down the covered walkway. “You’ll have to take your oath soon, Kai Sen. Now that you’re head of the monastery.”

Kai Sen blanched. “There’s enough time for that yet. We’re still in mourning.” An official oath would bind him forever to this life, one of celibacy and servitude. A life without Skybright. He wanted to drive his fist into the wall for his own stupidity. Skybright was long gone, beyond his reach. And the abbot had left him the impossible task of finding a new breach with a divining stone he didn’t have enough power to control.

“If you despise the responsibility,” Han went on, “give the role up to me then, like you said.”

His friend spoke in a quiet voice, his words clear and careful. Han had thought about this and wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t think he’d be the better leader. In truth, Han probably would be better. Kai Sen was tempted to say yes and leave the monastery to lead a nomadic life, but he wouldn’t put Han in that difficult position of upholding an ancient, twisted covenant or thwarting it. He didn’t know if Han had it in him to go against established rules and traditions, much less against the gods themselves.

“I can’t, Han. I’m sorry.”

His friend nodded, the motion stiff.

“Will you cover for me this afternoon?” Kai Sen asked. “I have something to take care of.”

It was obvious that Han didn’t believe him.

“I’m serious, Han.” His days of running off for fun were over. He needed to find this breach and close it somehow before the demons escaped again. They couldn’t risk another infiltration like the previous day; the lives lost were devastating. One more attack like that and there would be no monks to speak of. “You know you’re the only family I’ve ever had.”

His friend scrutinized him, and after a long pause, he finally said, “Me too, Kai. I’ll always help you.” He tilted his chin toward the open square. “How about some sparring before the midday meal?”

Kai Sen clasped Han’s shoulder for a brief moment in gratitude. “There’s nothing more I’d like right now than to wallop your ass.”

Han laughed, and it carried down the empty corridor. “We’ll see about that.”

Kai Sen wasn’t able to escape the monastery until dusk. Although Han took up his role as Kai Sen’s second right after the midday meal, Kai Sen couldn’t take two steps without being stopped by someone who
had
to speak with him—and no one else would do. After a few hours of this, he began imagining slashing a portal right there and jumping through to escape it all. An hour after that, he wished another breach would open in the corridor and swallow the cluster of petitioners before him. Kai Sen felt a little guilty to wish it but not guilty enough to take it back.

Finally, he threw both hands up and said, “Enough!” The small group quieted instantly, gaping at him, and only then did Kai Sen realize he had conjured two giant orbs of hellfire in each hand, ready to launch them like weapons. A collective sigh shuddered through the group, and they shrank together and back at the same time, like cattle protecting themselves. He extinguished the hellfire, embarrassed that he had let his temper control his magic. “I’ll speak with each and every one of you tomorrow. If it’s something that can be settled with Han,” Kai Sen cocked a head toward his friend, “talk to him. He’s in charge while I’m gone for a few hours.” And with that, he ran out of the monastery without a backward glance, slipping through the giant double doors sideways like an eel because the guards couldn’t get them open fast enough.

The sun sank and the air chilled around him. He had retreated to a small cave he had found when he was fifteen and kept secret. Not even Han knew about it. Tucked behind towering pine trees, it was a precarious straight climb up the jagged rock face that had his blood pumping every time he made it into the cave’s entrance, feeling triumphant, his limbs tingling with life. The cave wasn’t more than a hole, deep enough for him to lie down in without his feet sticking out but not tall enough for him to stand upright. His carved figurines dotted the natural ledges inside: a rabbit, a hawk, and a crane hewn from birch sat next to each other. On a higher shelf rested a fishing boat as large as his hand hewn from walnut.

Kai Sen conjured hellfire, and it illuminated the small cavern in blue. He reached for the recessed hole in the rock wall, his fingers finding his favorite figurine, one that he had done this year. It was a carving of a woman, attired in a flowing dress with her hair pulled into two buns close to her head. He wasn’t skilled enough to capture Skybright’s features accurately, no matter how hard he tried. In the end, the carving could have been of any young woman.

Kai Sen tucked the figurine into his pouch. He wanted to save Skybright from Stone because it was the right thing to do—the immortal had no claim over her any longer—but it was for very selfish reasons too. He wanted to see her again, hold her again. But he was unsure if Skybright desired those same things anymore. Still, he wanted to grant her her freedom, no matter what her feelings might be for him.

But now that he was head of the monastery, making time to track Skybright might be impossible. It felt as if he were abandoning her.

Sitting cross-legged on the cave’s floor, he hefted the warm divining stone into his palm again. He had been trying to work with it for hours and was suffering the consequences. He took breaks when his vision blurred from pulling on the earth magic around him and weaving it into the stone, terrified each time that his sight wouldn’t return. But the stone’s effects always eased the moment he stopped pouring magic into it. “Couldn’t the price be paid in some other way?” he muttered to himself after a long bout of wavering vision that left him nauseated.

As if in answer, this time when he tried, a throbbing headache erupted right behind his eyes, like a giant fist was squeezing his eyeballs and his brain. He stood, almost smacking his head against the top of the small cave, and stumbled out to the narrow ledge, gasping for air. But his vision was clear, despite the excruciating headache, and he continued to gather the earth magic, infusing it into the stone.

Its spinning center began to pulse and expand, and a tugging sensation filled his entire body, as if he were a compass needle being spun in a certain direction. Excited, he tucked the stone in the pouch at his waist, gritted his teeth, and scaled down the rock face, losing his footing on small footholds three times, clinging on from sheer will lest he plunge to the jagged stones below.

By the time he reached the ground, his brow and back were damp with sweat. He swayed on his feet, his vision blacking out for a moment. Still, he retrieved the stone from his leather pouch and felt it tug him through the forest. He knew these lands around the monastery by heart, even in full dark, so he gave himself into the stone, feeding it with unseeable strands, tasting grit in his mouth from the earth magic.

Kai Sen stumbled through the forest like a drunkard, forcing himself to stay on his feet. He knew if he fell, he wouldn’t be able to rise again. Something salty and warm dribbled across his lips. A nosebleed. But he didn’t have the ability to lift his hand and wipe it away. He continued to lurch between the trees, his path dimly lit by the orb of hellfire floating above his head, its blue glow casting eerie shadows all around. The forest was strangely silent, devoid of life, and when Kai Sen broke through the tree line, the pungent smell of smoke and death overwhelmed him.

He knew exactly where he was: by the creek where he had met Skybright a lifetime ago, before the breach in the underworld had broken, before he had ever killed a demon. The hulking corpse he almost tripped over was charred black, but somehow still smoldering, red embers flickering inside its ribcage, behind the sockets of its skull. There was no way to tell if it had been human or beast, but instinct told him it had been demonic. The air felt unclean.

Kai Sen trembled, the pain in his head arcing through his entire body, until the divining stone jittered in his palm, then finally fell from his hand with a dull
thump
. He lost hold of the multiple magical strands he had been drawing upon, and the stone flickered out immediately. The stabbing pain thrumming in his head winked out as well. He almost collapsed onto his knees, right at the burnt husk’s feet, his relief was so intense.

But then a familiar twinge in his chest made him stiffen.

Skybright.

He extinguished the hellfire that would have given him away and waited. The twinge in his chest grew into something solid, definite. A knowing that was irrefutable whenever Skybright was near. It took all his will not to run to her, to shout at the top of his lungs. But instinct held him back. A tiny golden light flickered in the distance, across from him on the far side of the tree line. It grew brighter, and he heard the soft murmur of two people talking, their footsteps more pronounced in the silent forest. Was she with Stone?

Two figures emerged from the darkness, and Kai Sen recognized her even from afar. The small travel lantern cast a warm glow about her, as if she were an actress on stage. She was dressed resplendently in pale green, head tilted toward her companion, speaking in soft tones. His heart felt as if it’d hammer right out of his chest at the sight of her. He was like a beast restrained by an invisible tether.
Not yet.
If it was Stone, the element of surprise would work in Kai Sen’s favor. She and the man walked closely together, their strides, despite the height difference, in sync. Skybright was comfortable, at ease. So she couldn’t possibly be with Stone.

The man beside her was dressed modestly, in a tan tunic and trousers. He held the travel lantern at waist level and toward Skybright, so his own features were shadowed. But the closer they drew to Kai Sen, the more the back of his neck prickled in warning. He recognized that long stride, the confident way Stone always carried himself, by virtue of the power he wielded.

Kai Sen touched his throat, where his birthmark had been, the one Stone had erased from his skin right before he had stolen Skybright. Seething anger surged through him mingled with shame—that he had had to pretend to be someone else all his life, someone
normal
. He had been self-conscious about his birthmark, thinking that was what tied him to his clairvoyance. He was wrong; his ability had been innate. Even so, the marking wasn’t something that he wanted removed against his will, least of all by Stone. Kai Sen knew he could never best the immortal in magical power, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take Stone unawares, perhaps stun him enough so Skybright could escape. He would likely die trying, but he didn’t care.

What energy had been sapped from using the divining stone was replaced by raw emotion: fury, disappointment, and hurt. Kai Sen yanked on strands of fire magic around him with so much ferocity that the embers in the still smoldering corpse snuffed out. Hellfire might not hurt Stone, but it could blind him momentarily. Skybright and Stone both paused, frozen. On alert.

Within striking distance.

He wrenched so hard on the element, pulling as much as he could into himself, that it felt as if he were burning from the inside out. Like he could breathe fire through his mouth. He let go the moment he couldn’t hold any more magic and hurtled a ball of blue flame as big as himself at Stone. But—

Would hellfire hurt
Skybright
? Was
she
of the underworld?

“Sky!” Kai Sen roared, bounding toward her.

The hellfire enveloped Stone, crackling and ablaze. But Stone had pushed Skybright out of the way a breath before, and she rolled from him, letting out a cry of shock and pain. Before Kai Sen could reach her, a fist-sized rock slammed him in the ribs, hard enough to knock the air from him. Another large stone hurtled toward his head, and he ducked just in time, feeling it glance too close to his ear. Quickly surveying where the rocks were flying from, Kai Sen saw several floating behind Stone, his figure illuminated in hellfire, so bright he couldn’t look straight at the immortal for more than a moment.