Sacred Waters (22 page)

His lips closed over her clit and he sucked hard, much like he had done with her nipples. Her mind zinged and her nerves zapped like a string of lights sparking at each bulb. She shouted and wrapped her thighs around his broad shoulders. He didn’t let her go. His hands slid under her bottom and lifted her more to his mouth.

Tighter than a bow, her body finally collapsed. He licked at her slowly and softly as if cleaning her up. His cheek pressed against her thigh and he turned his face to lay a kiss there upon her tender flesh.

She wondered if she should go ahead and join a convent, because after what just happened, she was pretty sure he had ruined her for all other men.

Chapter Fourteen

Friday morning at breakfast, Samantha had a difficult time eating. Tonight would be the last night she spent under the McCulloughs roof. Maureen had already extended several invitations for her to return and Sam knew they would apply with or without Braydon’s company. Sam also knew she would never accept her invitations.

Her time here was over. It would be too painful to come back and face all the memories she and Colin had created here. And God forbid she ran into him again after he took his vows. Seeing him dressed and marked, as a man of God, would be too real, too painful. She’d rather never lay eyes on him again then to see him that way, as a man she would never completely have.

Sam pushed her eggs around on her plate and pretended to eat. She did her best not to look at Colin, knowing he was feeling much the same way and afraid that seeing her moroseness mirrored in his eyes would be her undoing. Kelly was relentlessly teasing Sheilagh and Luke was once again absent. Finn and Braydon were discussing their plans for the following week.

Braydon looked up, startled, when his mother said, “I was thinking. Wouldn’t it be a fine thing if you were to take Samantha to that new fancy restaurant at the end of town for her last night here? I know it’s nothing like those posh places you kids have in the city, but it’s the nicest place our town’s ever had to dine at. Isn’t that a wonderful idea, Braydon dear?”

Uncertainty crossed Braydon’s face.

Sam chanced a glance at Colin to find him also watching his brother. Would he tell them that they were no longer an item? That Sam had spent the last two weeks corrupting Colin, tainting his impeccable record on his way to sainthood.

Braydon hadn’t spoken to Colin since catching them in bed together. He hadn’t told about what he saw, but most likely because there had never been an opening big enough for such a bomb to be dropped. Would he drop that bomb now?

She gave him a pleading look.
Please don’t ruin this for Colin.
It was difficult enough without the rest of them judging him.

Braydon looked at first her and then his brother. He cleared his throat. “Um, that sounds nice. What do you think, Sam?”

“Sure.”

She wanted to spend her last night with Colin, but she had to go along with this ruse or else risk the others' suspicions.

“Wonderful!” Maureen cheered and everyone went back to eating.

Sam looked at Colin, her apology pouring from her eyes. He smiled back at her, looking disappointed, but knowing it was not her fault and that there was really no other option.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kelly watching them. She turned quickly but her mistake was already made. Guilt flooded her as the blood rushed from her face.

Kelly’s eyes, usually so full of merriment and sarcasm, appeared completely serious, as they bounced from her to Colin and back again. He looked to his older brother with unguarded concern. At that moment, Colin’s expression also seemed to register that Kelly had put two and two together.

Sam began to panic. Everything was getting ruined. It was her last day, and she just wanted to enjoy it with Colin, without the others finding out about them. She had the rest of her life to mourn his absence. She wasn’t ready to relinquish him now. Her heart began to pound and she felt as though she was going to be sick.

She wouldn’t get to be with him one last time.

She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Was this what tomorrow would feel like? No, tomorrow would be worse because it would be final. Permanent. There wouldn’t be the remote chance that she might pass him in the hall or catch him sneaking into her room to steal a kiss.

Her chest hurt.

Everyone’s voices blended together until they formed a loud obnoxious hum that deafened her to all other sound.

As the fleeting thought that she was having a panic attack occurred, she looked to Colin and saw mirrored fear in his eyes. He stood and everything went black.

* * * *

Sam opened her eyes, her vision winked from flurry to fuzzy to clear and she saw Braydon and Maureen looking over her. She must’ve passed out because she was lying on the kitchen floor.

“Mother of Christ, thank God you’re awake!” Maureen cried when she opened her eyes. “Have you ben drinkin’, love? It’s nary ten o’clock. Or maybe a drink is just what you need. Sheilagh, grab my whiskey under the sink, next to the Windex.”

“Are you all right?” Braydon asked his tone soft and genuine.

Her head hurt. Had she fallen out of her chair and hit her head? How embarrassing. The sharp, humiliating sting of tears prickled her eyes. She looked at Braydon, wishing he were Colin. Maureen continued to fuss and chatter to the others.

Braydon leaned close to her ear and whispered, “He’s right there, behind me. Look over my shoulder. It’s killing him not to be able to hold you and check if you’re all right. Be a dear and give him a nod so he can relax.”

She looked over his shoulder and saw Colin. He was standing with his back practically to the door and his expression restless. When their gazes locked she gave him a shake of her head telling him that aside from being humiliated, she was fine.

After breakfast, Sam had to down a shot of whiskey just to get Maureen to relax and stop fussing over her. No one understood what had happened and she didn’t want to explain her history of panic attacks. Realizing she wasn’t going anywhere, Colin left but never said where. She needed to get a grip. How did the saying go?
An hour of love is better than a lifetime without it?
Well, her hour was about up.

When she returned to her room to wash her face and get over her bruised pride, Braydon knocked at the door. It wasn’t closed so he pushed it open. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Sure.” She waved for him to enter. It was his room after all.

“You okay?” He pressed the door closed and sat on the bed.

“I’ll live. Just embarrassed.”

“There’s really no need to be embarrassed. No one’s making fun of you. We were all worried.”

She plopped down on the bed and sighed.

“What happened, Sam?”

Resigned, she admitted, “I have anxiety attacks. I’ve had them since I was a kid. They don’t come as often as they used to, but when they do come, they can sometimes cause me to black out. What you just saw was a pretty bad one.”

“Is it Colin? Is that what you’re stressed out about?”

She looked at him. He didn’t seem angry or to be was judging her, only curious. “It’s a lot of things, school, my parents, graduating, job hunting…Colin.”

“What’s going on between the two of you? I know it’s more than friendship, Sam.”

She pressed her lips together and refused to cry. Barely whispering she said, “I love him.”

“Does he love you?”

She nodded.

“So he’s not taking his vows?”

She shook her head. “He’s still becoming a priest. He never led me to believe this would change anything and I knew it changed nothing going in.”

* * * *

Colin marched a long way from the house and when he’d gone far enough he roared at the injustice of the world, angrily forking his fingers through his hair and kicking a rock into the distance.

“You got it out now, buddy?”

He spun on his heel and found Kelly watching him.

“Go back to the house,” Colin growled.

“I don’t think so. How about you tell me what’s going on between you and Sammy.”

Colin gritted his teeth. “Mind your own business, Kelly. I’m not one of your bar patrons dying to bear my soul to you.”

“How ‘bout to Sam? Would you bare your soul to her? Maybe you already did.”

“Fuck you. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Maybe not, but I’m gonna give it a try. I think while our golden boy Braydon has been otherwise occupied you took it upon yourself to entertain Sam, pretty little thing that she is. At first it was all just charity and compassion for a stranger left alone among a pack of wolves, but then you realized there was a lot more to her then you first saw. The more time you spent with her the more you fell for her. And now she’s leaving and you’re too much of a pussy to admit you may be human after all and actually go after what you want most.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Colin nearly snarled.

“Maybe not, but I do know that in my entire life I never saw you look at anyone the way I caught you looking at her this morning. Do you love her?”

Before he could answer he heard Braydon yelling from the house and marching toward them. “Yo, Colin! I need to have a word with you.”

“Great,” Colin muttered under his breath.

Braydon marched right up to him and shoved him in the chest. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Stunned that he was being attacked Colin shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Sam. I ought to kick your sorry ass! What the fuck did you think would happen? It would all just go away?”

“What would go away?” Kelly asked.

Before Colin could tell Kelly to take a hike, Braydon turned to him and snapped, “Stay out of it.”

“Fuck you, Bray. And fuck you too, Colin.”

Braydon turned back to Colin and pushed him. “She’s up there about to cry, and it’s all your fault.”

“Who’s crying? Sammy?” Kelly asked and they each ignored him.

“What do you want me to do, Bray? I never made her any promises.”

He hated that she was hurting, but they had each known this moment was coming.

Braydon growled at him. “Then you don’t do anything! You had no right to play with a girl like her knowing you were never going to change your plans! She fucking loves you, asshole. And you're so goddamn pigheaded you’re going to let her go so you can go play monk and take vows of poverty and celibacy and any other sacrifice that makes your pompous ass feel more like a righteous martyr.”

His brother’s words stunned him and he reacted without thinking, punching Braydon square in the nose.

Utterly shocked by his actions, Colin reared back. It was a knee jerk reaction, one he hadn’t had since he was a kid, horsing around with his brothers. But this wasn’t horsing around. His brother’s accusations stung. Disgust for his barbaric behavior set in before his arm even returned to his side. But Braydon wouldn’t know that. No, rather than evaluate their emotions on a sophisticated level, Braydon found it better to throw an uppercut that knocked Colin right on his ass.

All hell broke loose. Punches flew and knuckles collided with flesh. Somehow Kelly got tossed into the melee and Luke was suddenly there ripping them all apart.

“What the bloody fuck is going on?”
Luke screamed.

Colin caught his breath and stared hard at Braydon who had blood smeared from his nose to his cheek. Kelly, the scrappy little shit, looked like he just stepped out of a cover shoot. Colin tasted blood and ran his thumb under is lip. Yup, blood. Luke looked from one brother to the next.

“What the fuck?” he asked again.

“Sorry,” Colin said to the three of them.

“What the hell happened?” Luke asked.

“Nothing,” Braydon said, not making eye contact with him or Luke.

Luke looked at Kelly and Kelly held up his hands, “Don’t look at me. I was dragged into this.”

Blown away by the stench of bullshit coming from his youngest brother Colin snorted out a disbelieving laugh.

Kelly looked at him. “What? I was.”

He was done with all of them. Turning on his heel to return to the house Colin said to no one in particular, “I’m leaving.” Thankfully no one tried to stop him.

As Colin passed the guesthouse he spotted Tristan waiting at the door. Odd thing was he didn’t have shoes on. “If you’re looking for Luke, he’s that way.”

When he returned to the house he marched straight up to his room and shut himself in. After locking the door behind him he went through the bathroom and locked the door leading to Sam’s room. He sat on his bed and cradled his pounding head. He needed to think for a minute. Think and pray.

Chapter Fifteen

Sam heard the door lock, locking her out of Colin’s room and felt as if a part of her broke away from her soul. It was starting. He was pulling away. How would she ever get through these last few hours? She went to the door and softly tapped against the wood.

“Colin?”

She listened, but heard nothing. She flinched when she heard the sound of something crashing against the floor and glass shattering. Her hand instinctively went to the knob. She jiggled it, but it was locked from the inside as she’d suspected.

“Colin, please let me in.”

She waited a moment longer and then saw the shadow of his feet peek out below the door. Her hand went to the wood, as if she could somehow touch him, get through to him. He was hurting too.

“Colin, I know you’re there. I know you can hear me. Please don’t shut me out. Please.”

The shadow of his feet retreated followed by the soft click of his door closing once more. Samantha choked as the weight of her tears became too much. He wasn’t being fair. They had one more day. It was his fault they couldn’t be together and she understood that from the get go, but now he was cutting their time even shorter. Who gave him the right?

She silently cried until she had the sense to know her tears were useless. If he wanted to shut her out, let him. Angry that she couldn’t even use the bathroom to clean up her face, she grabbed her debit card and driver’s license, a few twenties from her wallet, and headed out the door.