Sacred Revelations (12 page)

There is a moment of silence before he asks, “Is Lattie okay?”

“I’ll call you when I know something,” I promise, then I hang up, seeing her shadow against the wall, actually only a slight shift in shadows but I know it was her. Then the shadow is gone. I’m not sure how much of the phone conversations she heard, but as soon as I walk through the bedroom door, I know she heard all, or most of what was said. Her face is crumbled, devastated. I kneel beside the bed, taking her hand in mine. She looks into my face, questioning.

“Garrett is coming for me?”

“Yes, in a few hours. It will be early, before daylight. I’m needed inCairo .”

“Your wife?”

“Yes.”

Kitten doesn’t ask for details, she chews her bottom lip nervously, looking at the bedspread. I capture her hand, stopping her from pulling a broken thread. Her eyes lift, catching my gaze. I can’t look away, maybe she can’t look away either, I don’t know. I only know that when her eyes pool with tears something inside me rips, something inside me that I thought no longer existed.

“Don’t cry,” I whisper, catching the first tear that falls with my thumb. Holding her gaze, I lift it to my mouth and lick its saltiness away with my tongue. Another tear falls and I catch it sliding down her cheek with my mouth, whispering, “Please don’t cry. I won’t be able to leave you if you cry, I’ll have to sneak you onto a plane with me and smuggle you intoCairo . Trust me, you don’t want to go with me toCairo .”

I leave out the part that I am not welcome inCairo and that this is going to be a very dangerous trip for me, instead saying, “I want tonight to be special.”

Our faces are close, cheek to cheek, but our eyes meet. I feel her breath catch as she holds her breath, waiting expectantly, her lips parting with anticipation. I notice each subtlety as a major moment, capturing it all on the film reel of my mind, wanting to hold each nuance as a memory for the rest of my life. I catch her lips with mine, kissing her, knowing I shouldn’t be kissing her…not like this—tenderly, lovingly, letting my soul mingle with hers in the wetness of our mingled saliva. I kiss her until my heart rips in two and the pain of continuing to kiss her would be greater than the pain of stopping the kiss.

When did I fall in love with her?

It isn’t even really a question. I’ve been in love with her since the moment I first saw her—onstage, with Garrett. I didn’t bid on her that night. I saw no reason to. At Lewd’s, today’s property becomes tomorrow’s throwaway and I knew I only needed to wait.

Tomorrow’s throwaway. Yes, tomorrow I give her back to Garrett, but Kitten is no throwaway.

“Tonight, I’m going to hurt you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes, I understand. I like it when you hurt me.”

I smile at her honesty. “I have left you marked before, but tonight, I want you to understand before you agree, I am going to hurt you worse than I have ever hurt you. I am going to leave you marked and the marks are going to take a long time to fade. I am going to return you to Garrett marked and used, so that there is no doubt in his mind how sorely I abused you. Do you understand why?”

She shakes her head no, saying, “It is your right to do so.”

“Yes, it is, but what I am doing is marking you as mine.”

Her eyes narrow, my words curling through her mind. Concluding my meaning, she gasps, “You want him to refuse me?”

“No, he won’t refuse you, but he’ll receive the very important message that I’m sending him. I’m returning you to him because I’m honorable, because I said I would, but by the marks I leave on you, he

will know I loved you and that while you were mine, you were mine completely—and if for any reason you are no longer his in the future, you will be mine again. Do you understand?”

She sniffles, nodding, thinking she understands but I wonder if she truly does.

“You are mine.” I kiss her on the cheek tenderly then stand, pulling her up with me. “I want you to go out onto the balcony and wait for me.”

Questions run through her eyes but she remains silent, turning to obey me. I watch her pad across the carpeted floor barefoot, her bright red toenail polish stark blazes of color against her pale skin and the beige carpet. She pulls open the French doors, leaving them open, their sheer white window gauze catching and fluttering in the damp ocean-scented breeze. She goes to the rail and holds onto it, waiting for me to join her without looking back to see if I am coming.

It is pitch black on the balcony, the sky and sea barely distinguishable except for where the waves break and white foam is created. The balcony is private, screened from three sides and the ocean beyond, allowing for no voyeurs.

Crossing the room, I open the doors to my toy armoire, choosing carefully from my favorites, a large wide paddle, a thin-tailed riding crop, a birch cane, and a soft suede flogger. Fur-lined hand restraints and a fur-lined collar and chain join the collection. Finally, I choose a jeweled butt plug and a handheld vibrator. I will hurt her, I will leave her marked, but her memories will be of the pleasure.

Joining her on the balcony, I place the items I will be using on a small table. She doesn’t turn to look, but rather keeps her eyes on the ocean. Carefully, I move in behind her, grasping her at the nape of her neck, feeling her nervousness, her apprehension. It is one thing to be told you are going to be hurt and quite another to willingly submit to it. Especially knowing what is to come, and though she thinks she knows, she really doesn’t have a clue. All that I have done to her during the last few weeks has been the warm-up for this moment.

I press down on her neck, slow, steady pressure as I direct her in what I want her to do. “Go up on your toes and bend at your waist, over the railing.”

She gasps. I apply additional pressure, pressing into her lower back with the palm of my other hand, seeing that her gaze has traveled the distance to the large boulders and crashing waves below.

“Relax, I’m not going to let you fall,” I promise. “Go up on your tiptoes.”

She complies, stretching on tiptoe to bend at her waist. My hands are still on her neck and lower back.

Her hands cling to the railing as she bends. I push harder on her neck, bending her deeper over the rail, raising her higher on her toes. She screams and struggles, pushing back against my hand, I shove my knee into her lower back, holding her, digging my fingers into her neck and back, giving her a little shake.

“This isn’t going to work if you don’t trust me! Calm down.”

I feel her struggles cease, leaving her shaking all over. I hold her like that, bent over the rail, shaking. I whisper, “Relax.”

“I’m scared,” she sobs.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m here. Remember that. I’m here with you.”

She nods and I know that for a second I can take my hands off her. She stays still and in position, though I hold her only with my knee pressing into her ass, while I turn at the waist to take the fur-lined leather hand restraints off the table. Taking hold of first her left arm and then her right, I stretch her arms out along the railing as far as they’ll comfortably stretch before securing her. “Okay?” I ask.

“Yes,” she whispers and I barely hear her over the surf.

She is bent completely over the rail upside down. I squat to look into her face, seeing that her eyes are squinted tightly closed. I command, “Open your eyes.” I stick my tongue out at her when she does, making her smile. “As long as you can still smile at me like that, we’re okay.”

Sliding my hands through the bars of the railing, I attach the fur-lined collar around her neck, drawing the pre-attached chain to hook her to the railing. Her eyes don’t leave mine. “Trust me?”

“Yes, Lord Fyre.”

“Are you ready for this?”

“Yes, Lord Fyre,” she answers, looking so unsure, so afraid. I smile at her.

“Good, stay right there,” I wink at her as I walk back into the bedroom. “I just need to get a few things to make tonight memorable.”

“Only now it had become indispensable to him to have her face pressed close to him; he could never let her go again. He could never let her head go away from the close clutch of his arm. He wanted to remain like that for ever, with his heart hurting him in a pain that was also life to him.”

D.H. Lawrence, The Horse Dealer’s Daughter

Kitten

He’s leaving me. The thought makes me want to scream hysterically though I wait patiently, silently…I want to rant and rave and scream, so great is the pain in my chest. He’s leaving me, he’s leaving me, he’s leaving me.

I knew this day was coming, but I had no idea it would hurt so badly.

I face the crashing surf, literally, bent head to heel, only the rail and cuffs keeping me from plummeting to my death. Could dying hurt any worse than this? Yet, I fear the fall, shaking uncontrollably, or maybe it’s the anger.

I hate his wife. How dare she call now!

Father forgive me, but I do hate her. I hate her!

I think about her, imagining her in my mind, the tall, leggy black woman with beaded braids that cascade to the center of her back. I met her only once, the night Garrett bought me at auction. She was beautiful…mean, very mean…but beautiful. She nipped my bare nipple instead of saying hello, although nipped is hardly adequate, because she bit me hard, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to

leave behind a raised blood mark.

I hate it that he is going to her. He deserves so much better.

The sound of his step draws my attention immediately back to him. I close my eyes, counting to ten, breathing. I will not let her destroy our last night together. It is hard, but I release the anger and the hate.

She is, after all, his wife.

I, the fornicating preacher’s daughter am on the road bent straight toward hell. I release that thought to the universe. I will not pray away what I am thinking or feeling this night in repentance. I embrace me for who I am and for what I am doing this night.

I look between my legs to see him watching me. He is upside down, arms full, the look on his face one of pain. I have seen the look before. He too is hurting. I know it as much as I know the pain in my heart is bent on destroying me. Dear God, what is to become of us apart? We have found our perfect matches.

Seeing me looking at him, he busies himself, setting a dozen candles on the table and lighting them. He leans inside the doorframe just enough to flip the light switch, casting us into darkness, except for the soft flames. He moves the candles around the balcony, two in one corner, three in another, dispensing the light to cast a soft warm glow around us. The wondrous golden glow fills the air with a sense of magic and purpose. It pleases me that he is going to such elaborate effort to make tonight extra special. He disappears, back into the bedroom, returning with a full-length mirror that he angles to give me a view of myself. He takes the time to angle it perfectly, steps back to see what I will see from my angle, then adjusts it a bit more. He catches my gaze in the reflection. “I want you to see how beautiful you are. I want you to see what I see.”

I smile at him, he smiles at me. I hate to even think the thought, but I do, I love this man. I love you. I think the thought, not daring to voice it, saying instead simply, “Thank you.” Thank you for this night, thank you for helping me find my darkness, thank you for loving me.

Watching him almost takes my mind off the burning starting in my calf-muscles. Standing on tiptoe, stretched as far as I can stretch, I find it hard to not fidget, shifting my weight from tiptoe to tiptoe.

I watch him lift a large, round paddle off the table, relieved that he is ready to begin. He presses the handle between my tightly pressed together knees. I hadn’t realized how taut I’d become, every muscle flexed tight.

“Open your legs.”

I shift my feet, inching my toes apart, thinking my calves will find relief in this new position, but I am made even more uncomfortable, the muscles inside my thighs stretching and aching immediately. The rub of the handle between my burning thighs makes me quiver involuntarily. He chuckles, teasing strokes that make me shake, teasing strokes that lead to my sex. “Ah!” I sigh. The pleasure so great in contrast to the discomfort, I am aching with new need.

“Very nice, Sophia, you are beautiful tonight,” he whispers. “I am going to film our last night together.

Does that please you?”

Reaching up, he adjusts one of the corner-mounted security cameras. Suddenly, it becomes very important that I have a memento from this night. “May I have a copy?”

“If you’d like,” he answers, turning his attention back to the wooden paddle. He caresses the inside of my thighs lightly, then presses the hard wood into my damp slit, sliding in my wetness.

I lift my ass higher. “Yes,” I hiss.

“Are you ready for the pain I offer you tonight?”

“Yes, Lord Fyre.”

“Count off,” he commands.

I peek around my legs at him, wanting to remember him, just like this, strong, powerful, cast in candle light. He is my perfection.

“Count!” he says more sternly, furrowing his brow.

“To what number, sir?”

“Sir?” He chuckles. “So formal tonight. Count until I say stop.”

My brain freezes, without a target number, I am left feeling floaty, light-headed, but I manage to start the count. “One.”

He makes the first swat hard, making me dance on tiptoe as the full sting of the swat sinks in. My right ass cheek flames. I consider that he is being kind, letting me know immediately what kind of night I face.

He waits for me to stop moving before continuing with the next swat, but it is impossible to hold still, my hip flaming, the sting racing up my spine and down my legs.

“Two,” I scream when his hand falls hard on my ass, directly over the same area as the last swat. Holy shit!

He angles away, giving me time to breathe. I unsquint my eyes, seeing the reflection of my legs and ass.

His handprint blazes in a bright, raised welt. Yeah, that’s gonna leave a mark.

“Three, four, five, six,” I count faster, barely leaving him time to swat, or so I thought, but his swats keep pace and my body shakes, as I dance on my toes to escape the flaming pain. I count, he swats. The intensity seems less, or maybe I am just bearing up, my endorphins kicking in. The swats warm now instead of rip through my body. I don’t cry.