Ryker Fallen Angel's MC 3 (10 page)

Chapter 27

I stalk out into the hallway beyond pissed off at myself. What the fuck do I care anyways?

“Nice dick.” Joey the little smart ass says as I walk past him. My nerves are already on edge and he’s just making it worse. I spin around and grab him by the neck before I slam him against the wall.

“You ever talk to me like that again and I will snap your fuckin’ neck.” Growling in his face, he doesn’t move. The kid is growing some balls finally.

“What the fuck!” Creed’s hands land on my shoulders yanking me back as Joey sucks in the air that I deprived him of.

“What the hell is goin’ on?” Creed rounds on me, standing in my face. My body’s on fire with tension and all I want is to snap on someone. I don’t care who but I need to relieve this somehow.

“Fuck off Creed!” Shoving him in the chest I make my way out the side door and out into the back yard of the club. I need to clear my head but what the fuck can I do now? Stopping at the weight set that sits out here, I grab the weights and start lifting.

I let my mind wander to other things. Killing, shooting, riding. Anything that isn’t Jersey.

I lift for a long time as the cool air starts blowing around me. The sky’s dark and full of ominous clouds. I don’t care that rain trickles down on me. I keep lifting until my arms are on fire. My muscles burn with the pain but I can’t stop.

“You can’t keep doin’ this.” Glancing over I see Creed standing there watching me. What the fuck does he know anyway.

“I’m not doin’ shit. That’s the point yeah?” Turning my attention back to what I was doing I will him to go away. No fucking chance of that happening and I know it.

“You have feelins’ for that girl! You’re hurtin’ her, hurtin’ yourself. It’s not worth it, Ryker.” Setting the weights back down I turn my whole body towards him.

“I can’t be with her Creed. She’s young; she has a life ahead of her. I can’t fuckin’ love anymore. Beth ruined that shit for me. I can’t use that girl as a fuckin’ crutch. What the fuck do you want me to do?” Yelling slightly I run my hand through my hair. Creed looks around before his gaze comes back to mine.

“Loss is somethin’ I understand. I’ve been there Ryker. Losin’ Jada so many years ago turned me into a fuckin’ monster. This club, these people brought me back to who I am. When I found Jada again, fuck, I thought my world would blow up. I was torn in every fuckin’ direction. In my head I knew she was better off away from me but in my heart I knew I couldn’t make it without her. She is the other piece to my fucked up puzzle. It’s hard to let your walls down brother.” I get what he’s saying. I just don’t know anymore if it’s because of what Beth did to me so long ago or if I’m just a complete fucking bastard.

“Don’t you think she deserves to have a life?” Creed shakes his head before he smiles at me.

“Maybe she does. Maybe that life could be with you. Did that ever cross your fucked up mind?” Blowing out a breath I try to think that one through.

“I just don’t know brother.” Creed shakes his head again before walking away. Just like my life, the rain begins to pour down on me. I don’t care though. I walk over and sit on the other weight bench, dropping my head into my hands.

If Beth wouldn’t have betrayed me would I be happy today? Would we be married with kids living the good life? That’s all I ever really wanted out of my life. Once she ruined that, there was nothing else.

I feel that now familiar warmth as hands come down on my shoulders. I know it’s Jersey. I would know that heat anywhere.

“I can’t do this Jersey. I don’t know how.” Her hands leave me before she moves to stand in front of me. I look up in those eyes of hers and I want nothing more than to make her happy. I want to see her smile. I want to see the joy that she holds inside of her.

“For almost two years I was used. Even before that my parents didn’t want me. When I was traded out for drugs and guns, I thought to myself that no one ever really wanted me. Not my parents, not the club, no one. I’d lie in that fucking bed and cry myself to sleep. When they said I was being sold, I didn’t care. Not at first anyway. The thought of someone paying for me, that meant that they wanted me right? That’s what I told myself. Over and over I tried to make it right in my mind. They day you were there and gave me your patch, I thought I’d die. I didn’t think anything good would come out of you being there. I never thought I would make it out of there alive. When I was a little girl all I wanted was the fairy tale life. What I was given in life wasn’t anywhere near a fairy tale. It was hell. All I ever wanted was to be wanted and loved. I wanted to have a family, one that really loved me and cared what happened to me. I know now, that part was the fairy tale. No one can ever have that, it isn’t reality. I’m sorry I messed up your plans. I just want you to know that I’m thankful that you got me out of there and I’m sorry that I’ve caused so much shit in your life.” As I stare into those eyes and listen to the words she speaks, my mind wanders to new places. Places it shouldn’t go.

Chapter 28

The rain is coming down in cold icy sheets. The air is wild but I can’t seem to find it inside of me to move. Reality is something I was never very good at. My heart was never something that I wanted to acknowledge but it’s beating inside of me.

I walk around the back of the club like a lunatic. I don’t care, I can’t go in there, not until I have my head right. Jersey said a lot of things that made sense to me before she walked away. I didn’t expect her to even speak to me after seeing me with Red.

As I walk around the side of the building I see her sitting with her back against the brick of the building. She doesn’t see me; she’s curled up into herself. I wouldn’t miss those cries even in all this rain and thunder. Something about her is unmistakable.

I kneel in front of her before pulling her hands away from her face. I startle her slightly before she looks up with her blood shot eyes.

“I don’t know how to love anymore. I’m not sure that I even have it in me. You think that I don’t want you? From the first day I saw you in that shit hole, you ripped a piece of me open. A piece that deserved to stay dead. You’re young and you deserve the chance to be happy and have everything you wanted in life. That’s all still possible for you.” Jersey reaches up and touches my cheek with her hand.

“It’s possible for you too. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Ryker. I get what you mean and I promise I won’t be a bother to you anymore.” Her hand falls and so does my heart. Just when it felt like it was beating again, it’s gone.

Jersey stands wiping at her face before she starts to walk away. Something in me says to go to her, don’t let her walk away but the other parts says it’s better this way. I never was good with figuring out which part to listen to.

When Jersey is out of sight I head in the end door and start towards my room.

“Did you two talk?”  Bella stomps her foot in front of me. If I wasn’t feeling like the biggest piece of shit I would laugh at the way she looks right now.

“Yeah. Why?” She narrows her eyes at me but I’m lost on this one. What the fuck did I miss now?

“So you know? But you don’t look happy.” Scrubbing my hand across my face, I stare at her. What the hell is this girl going on about now? I swear these girls around here are going to kill me!

“Bella what the hell are you talkin’ about now?” Bella rolls her eyes which gets a smile out of me. Hell, help me.

“She didn’t tell you did she?” Her face flames red before her hand comes to cover her mouth.

“Tell me what?” Taking a step closer to her, she shakes her head.

“Oh fuck, fuck. What the hell? Why didn’t she tell you?” Looking at anything but my face I don’t know what the hell this girl is talking about.

“Ok. This is fuckin’ crazy. What didn’t she tell me?” Starting to get pissed off I grab Bella’s shoulders I force her to look at me.

“What Bella? What the fuck didn’t she tell me?” Before Bella can open her mouth I hear Jersey speak behind me.

“I didn’t tell you that I’m pregnant.” Her voice is firm and she sounds so confident. Not the little girl that I found so broken in that room. No she is beyond that.

Letting go of Bella she hurries down the hallway before I turn to look at Jersey. I notice the bag over her shoulder but those words are what hang in the air between us.

“What did you say?” Watching her swallow hard she looks me in the eyes.

“I said, I’m pregnant Ryker.” I stand there stunned by those words. I’m at a loss here. Jersey extends her hand to me as I reach out for it.

She sets my name patch in my hand before she starts to walk past me. I can’t let her go. I can’t lose what I have with her right? Is it to selfish of me to want her?

Reaching my arm out I stop her. My palm fits against her stomach before I slowly and gently push her back in front of me. My hand rests there as silence hangs between us.

My heart’s in my throat. I don’t know what to say here. How do I tell her I want her but I’m scared? I’m supposed to be the protector. The one making sure she feels safe but I’m scared to death of what I feel for her.

“It’s ok Ryker. I’m ok with this.” When I don’t speak she tries to walk again but I don’t let her. My hand stays firmly planted on her stomach.

Dropping to my knees in the hallway, I don’t care. I don’t care anymore. I can’t stop the feelings I have for her. I can’t fight it anymore. She’s doing something to me and I can’t let that go.

Jersey looks down at me as I lift the front of her shirt exposing her stomach.

“I made a life?” Dragging my eyes up to meet hers, she nods. Something explodes in my chest. I can’t shake the feelings that flow through me right now.

“Don’t leave me.” The words come out as Jersey’s hands come to rest on my head. She pulls my head into her where I rest it against her stomach. I made a life. Something that I thought would never be an option for me, and here it is.

Now I need to figure out what to do with that information.

Chapter 29

“This is fucked up! Who the hell do they think they’re fuckin’ with?” Running my hand through my hair I pace Creed’s office. The bomb he just dropped on me has me fired up and ready for a war.

“I don’t get it either brother. They traded her out. The Dusts’ know she’s one of us now. We played it by the book and the Russians think it was an outside job. We covered our asses so it looks like she showed up here.” That’s right. The Shifters’ want Jersey back. They are willing to wage a fucking war to get her too. A war that I’m willing to fight for her.

Three long fucking months have drug by and not a fucking word from anyone until now. I don’t understand what the hell they are trying to do here but I won’t let that shit slide.

The baby cries in Creed’s arms as he walks around with her. I can’t stop the smile that comes to my face. His daughter, Heather is a beautiful cross between him and Jada. She has her daddy’s eyes but her mommy’s looks.

“What the fuck are you smilin’ at?” Creed asks when he catches me watching him.

“Nothin’. She’s beautiful.” Looking down at baby Heather, my heart melts.

“She is. She looks like her mother. Hey, you ready for this?” Creed smiles over at me as I shake my head.

“Don’t know brother. I sure as fuck hope so.” Chuckling, the door opens and Jada comes in.

“Was she crying?” I smile as I watch her walk over and take Heather out of her daddy’s arms. Jada looks like an Angel holding her the way she does. I must say that all the women in this club have an amazing gift. They are all great people, but they are the most nurturing mothers I have ever seen. I can only hope that Jersey and I can be the same way.

I watch as Jada leaves the room before turning my attention back to Creed.

“What do I do brother?” His eyes jerk to mine and hold there.

“You? Don’t you mean we?” Shaking my head, I’m not letting them go down in this shit with me. I brought this on, it’s my problem.

“You got your kid Creed. I can handle this shit.” Grabbing my beer, I take a long pull as he watches me.

“Oh yeah? You got one too motherfucker. Besides, we’re family. This is our fuckin’ club, our old lady’s. We go in together just like always. We hold off as long as we can yeah?” Nodding my head, there’s no reason to start the war. I know it’s coming though; I can feel it inside of me.

“Yeah, ok. Shit comes down though, I want her dad.” I’ve thought long and hard over the last few months. I’ve watched Jersey cry in her sleep, fight her own demons to live and there is nothing more in this world that I want more than the man that caused it. The man that traded her out to be used and hurt. The asshole that should have loved and protected her.

“You got it. No one touches that son of a bitch.” The smile on Creed’s face would scare the shit out of someone that didn’t know him. It’s menacing and downright scary. He’s been in my shoes before though. He knows what it comes down to.

“Go be with your baby.” Slapping him in the chest he smiles at me.

“I was thinkin’ the other night while I watched Jada feed Heather. We are all some fuckin’ messed up bastards. We all came from shit but we made it here. These women that we have in our lives are like fuckin’ glue brother. Without them we’d fall the fuck apart. I know this club runs outside the law a lot. I want to talk about gettin’ some legit shit in here too for the kids. We need to train a whole new fuckin’ breed of leaders.” With a huge fucking smile on my face, I look over at him.

“’You’re damn right we do. You got my fuckin’ vote on that one.” Creed grips my shoulder as we walk out of the office and into the main room. I look around at all the guys that are my family now. We may not look like much, but we are family like Creed said.

“I’m goin’ to find my old lady.” Slapping Creed on the shoulder, I head down the hallway when I don’t see Jersey out there.

Stopping outside my room I can hear little moans coming from inside. What the hell?

I unlock the door after I try to turn the handle with no luck before shoving the door open. My eyes bug out of my fucking head when I see my woman naked on the bed.

“God damn darlin’.” Kicking the door closed behind me, I lock it before shrugging out of my cut. I toss it onto the table before I start to strip. Jersey lies there with her favorite vibrator between her legs. Yeah, I turned that girl into a God damn freak.

“You want some help with that?” Her eyes lock onto mine as I make my way closer to her.

“I told you about doin’ that shit without me too.” Grabbing the vibrator out of her hand, I tease her clit with it a little. Her body arches off the bed as little moans of pleasure escape her lips.

“You were taking forever in there.” Jersey whines when I turn the vibrator off and toss it on the bed next to her. She doesn’t need that shit when I’m right here.

My mouth replaces the vibrator as I lick at her soaking wet pussy. I don’t know if it’s because she’s pregnant or I’m just one sick and twisted bastard but she tastes like heaven these days.

Her hands find their way to my hair, tugging it gently. I stroke my tongue up and down before dipping inside of her. She’s already so close I can taste that orgasm on the tip of my tongue.

“Ryker, I need this.” Grinding her pussy against my face, I don’t make her beg. I increase the pressure I put on that little clit as I slide my finger in and out of her until she locks it down around me. With my face buried between her thighs, she releases all that sweetness to me.