Ryder's Redemption (Badboy Rockers #2) (4 page)

FIVE

Ryder

The change that overcomes Ange the second Cole walks into the apartment is pretty amazing to watch. Little Miss Serious is grinning from ear to ear and I’m surprised to see deep dimples on either side of that amazing mouth of hers. She’s beaming nearly as much as Kenzie’s mom is.

She looks like a kid on Christmas morning.

The only one who doesn’t look overly enthusiastic to see Cole is Kenzie. Her smile is forced, and I know the feeling of inadequacy that comes over her expression as she watches her mother and sibling hug for the fifth time. Melissa is practically gushing all over her star athlete son.

Deklan takes a seat on the sofa nearest to me.

Kenzie and Ange are talking and no doubt it’s about golden boy, who with his puffed out chest is savoring his homecoming.

His aunt gives him a forceful hug, Brooke manages a pat on the shoulder, and Kenzie gives her brother a quick embrace. Mr. Star Athlete gives us the once-over before he walks our way.

“Nice of you to come.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Deklan says, and I have to stop myself from calling bullshit. Granted, I do think my best friend wants to support his girl in everything, but family gatherings have always been just a little too cozy for Deklan. It’s hard enough to deal with my own family drama, let along someone else’s, but my buddy is motivated to impress his girl’s family, and so I will do everything I possibly can to help him.

“You’re Ryder?” Cole sticks out a hand. It’s obvious the guy is a gym rat by the size of his biceps.

“That’s right.”

His grip just about brings me to my knees. It’s intentional and I squeeze right back, hoping to make him wince, but instead he’s amused, his lips quirking in overconfidence.

“You still in high school?”

I straighten up and lift my chin a good inch. “No, I graduated.”

“Which college are you attending?”

“I’m not sure,” I say, and his brow arches.

He stares at me and I know he’s judging me. I’ve become used to that expression from everyone around me lately.

“What’s the plan if the rockstar gig doesn’t work out?”

Beside me, Deklan shifts on his feet. He’s ready to defend me—just like he has always done.

“Probably the same as yours if your NFL plans don’t work out.” The words are out before I can recant them.

I glance at Deklan, and there’s the slightest quirk on his lips that he covers as he lifts a bottle of water to his mouth.

Goddamn jocks. They think they rule the world. Ironically, some of them are the biggest drug abusers I know.

Cole smirks and after a few stabs at conversation, he moves over to Ange. His voice is jovial, even a little flirty.

And she’s practically gushing. Jesus, why doesn’t she just lie on her back and get it over with already?

“Forty-five minutes max and we’re out of here,” Brooke says, dropping beside me on the loveseat.

There’s the girl I know and love. You never had to question what Brooke was thinking. She always spoke her mind.

“Forty-five, really?” I say. “I was hoping for twenty.”

“Not long enough,” Brooke says, eyeing Ange again. “My mom already told me an hour, and I’m counting the time before golden boy arrived as time served.”

We all watch the interaction between Ange and Cole. Am I the only one who sees how Ange is reacting to him?

“So…what do we think of the new arrival?” Brooke asks, sounding as bored as I felt.

“You mean Cole?” I ask.

She frowns. “No…I meant Ange.”

Deklan takes a drink of punch. “I think she’s nice.”

“Must you always be so diplomatic?” It’s obvious Brooke isn’t as big a fan of Ange as Deklan is.

“She’s alright,” I add, and the answer seems to please her because she grins. “A bit straight-laced, and it’s so obvious that she’s got the hots for Cole.”

Brooke’s brows lift.

How could I be the only one to realize how much Ange wants her cousin?

“Oh my God, you’re right. Look at her. She’s blushing.”

And Ange’s eyes were bright with excitement. Of course she would be beaming, with jock boy giving her his full attention.

Brooke snorts. “No doubt by week’s end he will be creeping into her bedroom. You want to place bets?”

Normally I’d be amused and interested in placing such a wager, and yet the idea, and image, of Ange being plowed by Mr. Pro Athlete completely irritates the shit out of me.

What the hell?

I have to get laid. It’s the only explanation why I’m suddenly so pissed off. I was tired of jerking off in the shower, and if I was getting all worked up about a stuck-up socialite getting banged by a gym rat, then I had issues.

Ange

I’m so relieved when the guests leave and it’s just me, Kenzie, Melissa, and Cole. Granted, I liked Brooke well enough, and she seemed to be nicer the second Curtis had shown up. I’m always amazed with a strong-willed girl is with a guy who is so laid back and easy going.

Even Ryder played nice, though every single time I looked his way, he was staring at me, watching me, especially when Cole came up to talk to me. I felt those blue eyes on me the entire time.

Now Ryder’s gone, thank God, and I can relax.

I’m in my pajamas in the living room, watching the end of a sitcom with Cole, Kenzie, and Melissa. I couldn’t give a summary of what I’d just watched if my life depended on it. I’m too busy paying attention to Cole.

Wearing a pair of cargo shorts, he’s sitting on the couch, his arm along the back of it. Melissa is beside him, and Kenzie beside her, knees up to her chest, leaning toward the end table. Her body language spoke volumes.

Despite the obvious unhappiness in my friend’s life, I’m elated to be here, in this moment, with my best friend and her gorgeous brother. It’s been nearly a year since we’ve seen each other and I’m happy he’s been so welcoming.

Melissa covers a yawn with her hand and announces she’s calling it a night. “Do you need help with the hide-a-bed?” she asks, motioning to the sheets, blankets, and pillows piled on the chair nearest the television.

“Nah, Mom, I have it. Thanks for the nice homecoming,” he says. “I loved the apple pie.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” she says, kissing him on the top of the head before walking past me and Kenzie, stopping almost as an afterthought to give her daughter a squeeze on the shoulder with her hand.

I feel Kenzie’s disappointment that she didn’t receive the same sign of affection from her mom, and I know that Melissa doesn’t realize that the small things, like kissing her son and not her daughter, have helped make Kenzie feel the way she does about her brother.

The resentment has been building for a lifetime and one day I’m afraid it will be too much to work through.

Yet another reason I’m sad her dad isn’t in her life. They had been close, and now that he’s buddied up with Cole, it makes the betrayal that much more intense. Kenzie hasn’t said as much, but she doesn’t need to.

“We should go to bed,” Kenzie says, stretching. It has been a long day, and yet I don’t want it to end just yet. It seems like I’ve been waiting forever to see him.

“Help me make this thing up,” Cole says, already standing and tossing the pillows off the couch onto the loveseat.

Kenzie helps him pull out the hide-a-bed, and I set about making the bed. I can feel Cole’s gaze on me. I might have bent over a little more than I should, showing him more thigh than I would normally.

When I glance up, he’s staring at my ass.

A warm tingling rushes through me. I’m ecstatic. I like that he’s looking at me, watching me with a glint in his eyes that I have never seen before.

That look both excites and scares me.

If he asks me to stay and watch television with him, I might be half tempted to hang out with him, just as long as it doesn’t upset Kenzie.

I finish tucking the sheets in and fluff a pillow for good measure. “Good night, Cole.”

“Night ladies,” he says, and when I glance back over my shoulder, my heart gives a lurch when I realize he’s staring at me. He gives me a wink and I grin, elated by his response.

SIX

Ryder

The strobe lights are giving me a headache…and for some reason I can’t play for shit.

The guitar feels odd in my hands, and my mind is everywhere but on the song.

I’m so fucking distracted.

Brooke keeps looking over at me, but I focus my gaze on the crowd, mainly the brunette in the front row with the huge tits that are coming out of her barely-there tank dress every time she jumps in time to the music.

Her gaze never wavers from mine through the entire song. Not once. I swear she barely blinks.

The venue is new to our band
The Frozen
, and I’m not sure I really like that the majority of the audience is sitting on their butts and aren’t piling in around us like our normal crowd.

There’s something comforting in having appreciative fans clamoring to get to the front and center of the stage. Aside from the chicks in the audience standing, clapping, and jumping, the rest of the crowd appears to be waiting for the main act.

I’m struggling. I know that, and I want to use more than ever. Or get so fucking drunk I can’t see straight. I hate, and almost resent, the fact that every single one of my friends has found a new lease on life in their sobriety and yet I’m still waiting for the sky to open so I can have a fucking epiphany about what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life.

Deklan has it made. At twenty-two, he’s already managed to get a loyal following as one of the Portland/Vancouver’s most popular tattoo artists. He has a month long waiting list for clients, and I admit, I’m envious that he’s found what he’s passionate about. He’s set for life and already has a rock star tattoo artist status in the community. Some people never find one thing they’re passionate about, and yet he’d already managed to find two.

At the encouragement of his big brother, Curtis has decided to take business courses at the community college.

My dad would give anything for me to say I’d go to college and follow in his footsteps as an accountant, just like his father and his father before him.

Fuck that shit. I’d rather die than work with figures day in and day out.

Honestly, me in a suit and tie, sitting in an office of some business district just wouldn’t fly. I wouldn’t be able to breathe.

I may not know what I did want, but I definitely know what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be an unemployed, no talent loser with a drug problem that followed me into my adult life.

I hit yet another wrong note and cringe.

Brooke walks toward me, and as I focus on playing the riff, she rests her hand on my shoulder. Her fingers squeeze tight, and I read a lot into that gesture.
Get your shit together now.

I glance at her and she leans in until our lips are inches away. Except it’s not out of adoration that she’s making it look like we’re about to make out. No, her eyes are full of rage as her gaze burns into mine.

The crowd erupts in applause as she grabs my face and proceeds to lick me from chin to ear. I have to hand it to her—the chick is a master, and I admire her for her drive and determination. She has true talent. Maybe that’s part of my problem. The band has already proven they can play without me. They’ve done it before and replaced me with Terry, Curtis’s brother, more times than I could count when I’d bailed on them.

“You’re all over the place,” Brooke whispers in my ear before belting out the chorus. She walks back toward the other side of the stage to plant a kiss on her boyfriend. Curtis, who probably wanted to kill me two seconds ago when his woman was licking my face, now eats up the attention his woman is bestowing on him.

My gaze is suddenly averted. Just beyond Curtis, waiting in the wings, are Kenzie and Ange. They aren’t like the majority of the chicks in the crowd who wear sleazy outfits to get our attention.

Both are dressed in jeans and sexy tank tops. Earlier I’d noticed that Ange’s tank shows off the majority of her athletic back. She’s sexy in an effortless way.

“Ryder!” I hear my name being screamed from the direction of the brunette. She is dancing in her seat, and I swear she lifts up the edge of her skirt a good few inches. Taut thighs, nice high ass. It has been weeks since I’ve had sex. With the watchdog known as Deklan tracking my every move, it doesn’t help my near celibate status. Also, I haven’t really been too interested.

Now I’m definitely interested, especially since it’s being dangled before me like a carrot on a string.

I jump when Brooke’s voice comes from right behind me. Jesus Christ, she is all over me tonight, and she isn’t happy. I can’t blame her. In fact, I’m sure she’s not the only one who is going to grill me the second I step off the stage.

“Thank you, Portland!” she yells into the microphone. I’m secretly glad there isn’t time for an encore.

Not that this crowd wanted one from us.

I unplug my bass and give a pointed look at the brunette as I make my way off the stage. Kenzie runs past me into Deklan’s arms and I glance at Ange. She doesn’t make eye contact with me.

I don’t wait for my bandmates and make a right into the hallway.

The brunette is there and she’s alone.

I take her by the hand and we walk briskly down the dark, dingy hallway. I don’t know the venue that well. “Where can we go?” I ask, my voice coming out gruffer than I wanted.

Her dark eyes widen…and I kiss her softly on the lips. She smiles and whispers, “Follow me.”

She doesn’t have to say it twice.

We take a right down another dingy hallway and straight into a small room full of cleaning supplies. There is a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling with a shoestring tied to it. I yank on the string and the dim light barely gives off any illumination.

“Do you have any drugs?” The words are out before I can stop them.

Her brows lift and she reaches into her purse and rifles through her wallet. My heart actually misses a beat as I wait for what she’s going to reveal. She produces a yellow oval pill, bites down and swallows half before slipping the other half between her teeth.

I lean in and kiss her, my mouth covering hers, my tongue sliding past her teeth, sweeping the bitter pill into my mouth and swallowing before I kiss her again.

I pull her skirt up, her panties down, and slide my fingers over her dripping sex.

“I can’t believe I’m here alone with you,” she says, and I bet she’s said that to a lot of musicians. How else would she know about this little shithole of a place to disappear into?

I slip a finger inside and she moans.

Her warmth swallows my finger and I slide another in.

She slips her tits out of her dress. Both nipples are pierced, with a silver rod through each.

I dip my head and kiss the tops of her breasts before taking a nipple into my mouth.

“Oh yeah, that feels good,” she says, her fingers fisting my hair.

I’m about to explode.

She touches my cock and I suck in a breath.

“Just a sec.” She leans down, reaches for something in her purse and produces a condom. Ripping the package open with her teeth, she spits the top out onto the floor, slides the rubber on my cock, then proceeds to push it down with her mouth.

My heart rate picks up speed. Her mouth feels so good on my cock.

I keep my hands on her shoulders and she gets the idea of what I want.

Outside in the hallway I hear people walking by. A few times the door handle is rattled, and it gives me pause…until my friend wiggles.

I can’t hold it in for long. It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, and I close my eyes. I’m almost appalled when Ange’s face flashes before me. I imagine her mouth around my cock, those lips sucking me.

I reach down and slide her nipples between my forefinger and thumb, tugging on the little bars. I gently squeeze the erect buds and she lets out a gasp. Her pace picks up and she’s motivated to please. It’s then I realize that she has one hand on her own sex, where two fingers are buried knuckle deep.

Her free hand grips my ass and she pulls me closer.

I come with a groan and am relieved when she releases a little whimper as she too achieves climax by her own hand.

There’s a flash of both triumph and disappointment in her eyes.

She was clearly looking for a lay. I unroll the condom and toss it into the trash. She eyes it, and I have visions of her selling it on eBay. I make a note to lock the door behind us, because I’m not about to stick the used rubber in my pocket.

“There’s more where that came from,” she says with a satisfied moan. “Maybe I can come over tonight?”

I give her a kiss. “Maybe.” I’m tempted, but having any chick over to my makeshift bedroom in Deklan’s dungeon is hardly appealing.

I say nothing as we walk out the door a minute later. Down the hall, my band is looking for me. It’s Deklan I first make eye contact with. He lifts his head and looks relieved to see me.

Jesus, I couldn’t have been gone for five minutes.

The rest of the band follows his gaze and turns to look my way.

At that exact moment, the brunette by my side threads her fingers through mine.

Shit…

Neither Kenzie nor Brooke looks at all surprised that I’m cozy with the brunette. The latter has a smug smile on her lips that quickly turns to a sneer.

I can’t say the same for Ange. She frowns at me, and then looks at the brunette at my side. She even mouths the word, “Really?” I’m still mortified I’d thought of her during sex. What the hell. Why would I think of the ice queen?

I walk toward my friends and the entire time Ange’s gaze is shifting between my new friend and me.

“Hey,” Brooke says. “We’ve been looking for you.”

I glance at the brunette, whose gaze never wavers from Brooke.

“Sorry, I went outside and got some air.”

“Isn’t that the door to the janitor’s closet?” Curtis says innocently enough.

Everyone laughs…except for Ange, who looks at me in disgust.

I glance back and shrug. “I have no idea.”

“We ready to head out?” Deklan says, and he’s staring into my eyes like he’s piercing my fucking soul. There’s no way he’ll know I took a half of a pill.

I give him a pat on the back and he seems to relax. “Yeah. You alright, buddy?” I ask before he can drill me.

“Yeah. I’m ready when you are.”

The brunette pouts. “You’re leaving already?”

“Give me your phone number,” I say, taking out my phone.

She gives me her number twice. I repeat it back to her for good measure.

“My name’s Amber, by the way.”

“Seriously?” Ange says. She shakes her head and runs a hand down her face. “Wow.”

The band leaves Amber and me alone for a second.

“You have any more of what you gave me?” I ask, brushing back her raven-colored hair with one hand. My thumb lingers on her cheek.

She leans into me and sighs. “Yes.”

I give her a soft kiss before she reaches into her purse. She slides the pills into my pocket, her hand coming close to my cock. She flashes a coy smile as she fondles me for a quick second. “Call me, okay?”

“I definitely will.”

She clings to me, and for a second I’m tempted to stay…until I think of how shitty I played tonight and how good my bed sounds right about now.

“You sure I can’t come by tonight?” She bites her bottom lip and tries her best to look innocent. She’s not. I’ve known her kind before. She’ll be back in the third row jumping up and down and flashing her assets to the bassist in the next band.

“I’m exhausted or I would.”

When I look up, her friends are waiting for her, their eyes wide with surprise. She flashes them a triumphant smile.

Seeing them, she gives me one more kiss and whispers in my ear. “You’re amazing. I can’t wait to feel you inside me.”

I swallow hard and try not to let the words swell my ego.

As I walk away from her, I hear her friends ask her about me. They gasp and giggle as I turn left. My friends are waiting by the door. They’re laughing at something Curtis says, and I smile to myself.

I find the nearest bathroom and once I’m in a stall I check my pocket. I’m almost disappointed to see the familiar oval pills. Hydrocodone.

I need to take all four to get an effect out of them at all.

For a split second, I feel a sense of disappointment in myself. Disappointment that I had played so shitty, and disappointed that I had fucked up twelve days of sobriety.