Rush (23 page)

Turning back around, he found her watching him.

“Thank you,” she said.

“What for?”

She inched a shoulder up. “Everything. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I really am sorry about everything that’s happened. I bet you didn’t count on all this when you took the job as my bodyguard.”

“I didn’t count on a lot of things.” He walked over to her. “Arms up.” He pulled her shirt over her head, then knelt down and took her shoes off. “I didn’t count on you seeing more in me. I didn’t count on how incredible the sex would be. Stand up.” She did and he helped her out of her jeans and panties. “I didn’t count on you having secrets.” He paused. “That’s not true. I knew from the way you looked at those pictures in Crosby’s office when we first met that there was something you were hiding.”

Sweeping her off her feet, he carried her to the bathtub and eased her in. “I didn’t count on you surviving my family.” He stripped in a matter of seconds, then stepped into the bath with her. “Mostly I didn’t count on how hard and fast I’d fall for you.” Leaning against the back of the tub, he closed his eyes and let the heat of the water seep into tired muscles.

“Lucas?”

“Hmm?”

She moved, sending the water swirling around him, and shut off the tap. “I… I want you to know…”

“Will you do me a favor,
Querida
? No more talking for a while, okay?”

“Sure.” More water eddied around him, lapping up his chest as she went back to her seat.

He tried to empty his mind and just be, but her foot brushed his leg, then her hand. The image of her breasts bobbing in the water every time she moved played behind his eyelids, making it hard to relax semi-erect. After a while, he gave in and let his mind wander up the dark alleys of every fantasy he’d ever had about her.

He was enjoying a rather good one where Mi was on her hands and knees in front of him dressed in… nothing. Then from out of nowhere she pulled out the pink blindfold and fuzzy handcuffs from her show. Huh. She clamped a cuff to the headboard, then to his wrist. All of a sudden she had another set and did the same to his other hand. She slipped the blindfold over his eyes and then she—

“Lucas?”

He nearly groaned in frustration. “No talking remember?”

“Sorry. I was just wondering what your plans were for that massive hard on.”

He cracked an eye open.

“I still owe you sixteen orgasms. I thought since you’ve already done most of the work for me…” Her smile finished the end of the sentence.

He started to return her smile, about to take her up on her offer, but then his gaze tracked up from her nipples, hard in the warm water, to her neck, reminding him of what she’d just been through. “Not now,
Querida
. Maybe later.”

She edged toward him, the water rippling with her movement, until she straddled his lap. “Come on.” She wrapped her hand around his cock. “We could knock that number back to fifteen.”

He grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand off him. “Not now.”

She sat back. “Lucas…”

He saw the hurt in her eyes his rejection had caused and hated himself for putting it there. But he knew he’d hate himself more if he took what she was offering so soon after she’d been injured. Already his desire waned. He leaned forward and kissed her neck, circling the ring of bruises. She arched back and let him, her fingers laced in his hair.

He covered her neck with soft kisses, wishing for so many things: to make the marks disappear, to right the wrongs done to her, to take away her fear and pain, but most of all he wished she loved him. If she loved him she’d let him in. If she loved him she’d trust him. If she loved him he would never have to wish for anything ever again.

He folded her against his chest and held on, trying to imprint on his mind the feel of her skin against his, the slip and slide of their wet flesh. She sighed and relaxed deeper against him. Fingering the ends of her hair, he was reminded of the first night she’d spent in his house. She’d sat on the floor next to him, the cat in her lap, and he’d played with her hair just as he did now. He’d been fascinated by her, everything about her. And oh, God how he’d wanted her.

He wanted her still. That would never change. Buried deep inside her he found what he’d never expected… acceptance… a mate… a home…peace. He never wanted to be parted from her, couldn’t imagine himself without her. That’s why he’d backed off when she’d thrown down her ultimatum. He’d gone against instinct and let her have her way. He knew she’d been scared, backed into a corner. If he gave her time to think it through, he knew she’d see how not getting her mother help damaged them all. Especially herself.

He saw so much now, understood her better. Loved her more. But her threat still hung over them like a guillotine blade with her the one holding the rope. He wondered how long he could live like that, how long they could survive under it. Right now with her wrapped around him he felt like he could withstand anything.

“Lucas?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m okay, really.”

“Maybe, but I’m not. Are you hungry? It’s been hours since we grabbed those burgers.”

“Sure.” Mi climbed off him and watched him rise from the bath, the water sheeting down the hard planes of his body.

She’d tried to reach out to him, tried the method she knew best. There was a lot to make up for. Certainly more than a hand job could fix. She should tell him she loved him, but every time she’d opened her mouth something else had come out. So she’d gone back to the tried and true, the one thing between them that was easy and honest. And he’d rejected her.

She sat in the water long after he’d left the room, long after it had grown cold. Regret crept over her like a fog, obscuring all of her good intentions. She should never have gotten involved with Lucas and yet couldn’t see how she could have stopped it. They’d brushed against each other like waves lapping the shore, leaving a piece of themselves and taking a little something from each other every time they’d touched, every time they’d made love. Until they’d taken too much and left behind more than they’d intended.

And now she didn’t know where she ended and he began. He’d weathered the worst with her and was still here, battered maybe a little broken, but still here. But for how long? How long until something else happened? She’d already gone too far, had drawn a line he couldn’t cross. How long until he stopped trying to cross it and just walked away?

With a groan she rose out of the water and caught her reflection in the mirror over the vanity. She climbed out of the tub and walked dripping across the room for a better look. Oh, God. No wonder Lucas and Jason had freaked out. She leaned forward for a better look, hardly feeling the chill of the marble counter.

The awful look on her mother’s face as her hands had pressed against Mi’s neck came back full bore. Her eyes burning with hate, her teeth set hard to the task, the dots of spittle on her chin, her face compressed with the effort… that was not her mother, not the woman who had cared for and loved her. Where had that mother gone?

She eased back from the mirror.

“I ordered—” Lucas paused in the doorway, his gaze catching on hers in the mirror. “I got pizza,” he finally finished.

“Okay.”

He’d dressed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt, his feet bare. “It’s a nice night. We could eat outside.”

“I’d like that.” She watched him leave, then sagged against the counter as soon as he’d gone.

She’d put the wall between them, she knew. But she couldn’t take back the things she’d said or pretend she hadn’t meant them. He hadn’t asked any questions… yet. Soon he’d unload his questions and she’d stack them up with all of the others, building that wall higher until they wouldn’t be able to see each other over the top.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Mi fiddled with the edge of her napkin, folding and unfolding the corner. The awkwardness that had developed between her and Lucas was beginning to slide into arduous. They sat on the balcony, overlooking the Dallas skyline, the last dregs of cold pizza in front of them. They’d barely spoken except to pass this or hand over that. They were as polite as strangers, and that politeness ate away at her one please and one thank you at a time until she wanted to stand on the table and scream at the top of her lungs.

He hardly looked at her, his glances brushing over, then away. She missed his lingering looks, going from flicker to flame in an instant. Now it seemed as though looking at her was more than he could bear.

Her cell phone rang and her heart lodged in her throat. Pulling it out of her pocket, she dreaded what she’d see on the display, then let the breath she’d been holding out in a whoosh when she saw Lucy’s number glowing on the screen.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Mi,” Lucy panted. “I need you to come.”

“What’s wrong?” Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lucas sit up straighter.

“I’m in labor. Oh, Mi, I can’t find Kevin anywhere. Ooohh,” she moaned, then panted.

Mi waited, worrying for her friend.

“Mi?”

“I’m here. What do you mean you can’t find him?”

“He’s not answering his cell. I called everywhere. Please come. My mom’s here and she’s driving me crazy. She won’t stop… ooohhh…”

“I’ll be right there. Parkland Hospital, right?”

“Yeeessss.”

“Hang on. I’m coming.” Mi punched the phone off and ran back into the apartment with Lucas on her heels.

“What’s going on?”

“Lucy’s in labor. I have to get to the hospital. Her husband’s not there. She needs me.”

They were out the door in less than five minutes and standing outside Lucy’s hospital room in less than twenty. Lucy’s piercing scream came through the closed door, and Lucas’s face lost all color.

“You should probably stay here,” Mi told him.

He straightened his shoulders. “I go where you go.”

“Uh-huh.” She opened the door.

Lucy was lying in the bed, her feet in the stirrups. A nurse stood between her legs, her mother stood next to her bedside wringing her hands and reciting the Lord’s Prayer.

“Mom, stop it!” Lucy barked, then let out a howl.

Lucas gave the room a quick scan and then stepped back, his face even whiter than before. “I’ll… ah… wait here.”

Lucas closed the door with Mi inside, the sound of her laughter echoing after her. Jesus. That was more than he ever wanted to see about the miracle of birth. If only he could wash his eyeballs. Leaning against the wall, he pulled out his phone, then spotted the no cell phone sign on the wall and shoved it back in his pocket.

A familiar voice caught his attention. He turned to see Cal leaning against the counter of the nurse’s station. What was he doing here? Lucas strolled over and positioned himself so he could see Lucy’s door.

“You’re the last person I expected to see here,” Lucas said to him.

“Hey, just taking care of something.”

“In the maternity ward? Something you need to tell me, man?”

“What? No. Hell no. I’m here about Lucy.”

Lucas raised his brows in reply.

“I guess you’re here with Mi,” Cal said, neatly changing the subject.

The nurse behind the counter slid a clipboard across to Cal. “If you’ll just sign here, Mr. Sellers, we’ll have that private room ready for Mrs. Walker when she delivers.”

Cal signed the form and slid it back. “Thank you for your help,” he told the nurse. “Anything she needs, you just send me the bill.” Picking up his hat, Cal motioned for Lucas to follow him a short distance away.

“What’s up?” Lucas asked.

“I’m glad Mi’s here. Lucy’s going to need her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t say anything to Mi about this yet. I don’t want this moment ruined for Lucy.” Cal lowered his voice even more. “Her husband isn’t going to be here to see his child born.” There was a bitterness to Cal’s words that made Lucas wonder if there had ever been anything personal between Cal and Lucy. “He’s been arrested.”

“Damn. What for?”

“Polygamy.”

“Are you shitting me?”

Cal’s lips flattened. “Wish I was.”

“How do you know about this and Lucy doesn’t?”

“I have my ways.”

Which meant Cal had something to do with Lucy’s husband’s arrest either directly or indirectly. Yeah, definitely something personal going on there.

Cal slid his hat on. “And as far as Lucy knows, I was never here.”

“You don’t want credit for the private room?”

“Like I said, I don’t want this moment ruined for Lucy. My being within a hundred feet of her—hell my being in the same city—would do it.” Cal started to back away. “I was never here.” He gave Lucas a two-fingered salute and sauntered away.

*****

Mi wasn’t sure if she was holding Lucy’s hand or not. It had gone numb sometime between Lucy’s second and fifth push. Everything was happening faster now. The doctor was there. Lucy’s son of a bitch husband wasn’t. Mi would never forgive him for leaving Lucy to give birth to their child alone. She’d left at least eight voicemail messages while Lucy screamed in the background.

“One, two, three…
push
!” the nurse coached.

“That’s it, Lucy. Good girl. I see the head. We’re almost there,” the doctor said.

“And rest.” The nurse replaced the oxygen mask over Lucy’s nose and mouth as she flopped back onto the bed.

Mi smoothed Lucy’s hair back. “You’re doing so good. Brie will be here before you know it.”

Lucy pulled the mask up. “Fuck him. I’m naming her Poppy like I wanted to.”

“That’s right. You’re doing all the work,” Mi soothed. “Name her whatever you want.”

“Again!” the nurse barked.

A few moments later Poppy came into the world screaming her lungs out. Mi swore she’d never seen a more perfect baby.

“She has red hair.” Lucy’s voice was full of wonder. “My grandma had red hair.”

“Strawberry blond,” Mi agreed. “And blue eyes. She’s so beautiful, Lucy.”

“Thank you for being with me.” Lucy’s eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I can’t believe Kevin wasn’t here.” She bent forward and kissed her daughter’s hand. “Oh, Mi. Where could he be?”

“I don’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“I want you to pick her middle name.”

“Oh, no. I couldn’t.”

“Yes. You can.” Lucy dragged her arm across her eyes, wiping away her tears. “I want you to.”

“Okay.” Mi looked down at the baby and her mind went blank. All at once it hit her that this would be the only opportunity she’d ever have to name a child. She smoothed a hand over the soft down of the baby’s hair, totally awestruck by the enormity of her task. She was going to chose a name that would stay with this child forever. “Victoria.”

“Poppy Victoria Walker,” Lucy said, looking down at her sleeping daughter. “I like it.” She beamed up at Mi. “It’s fits her I think, don’t you?”

“Perfectly.”

Mi sat with her friend until Lucy’s eyes grew heavy with sleep. She left her with a promise to visit the next day and walked out into the hall where she found Lucas waiting for her. He rose from the chair he’d procured from somewhere and met her in the middle of the hallway.

“Everything all right?” he asked.

“Yeah, she’s so small and perfect. Lucy was a champion. I don’t know how she did it without drugs.”

“With a lot of screaming and yelling from what I could hear.”

She chuckled and leaned into him. “That’s for sure.”

“Let’s go. It’s nearly dawn.” He put an arm around her and steered them to the elevator bank.

She suppressed a huge yawn that slid right back into the goofy smile she’d worn ever since little Poppy Victoria came into the world. “Lucy asked me to chose her middle name.”

“Yeah?”

The elevator doors opened and they stepped into the car. Lucas punched the button and the doors slid closed.

“I chose Victoria after my mother’s mother.” She sighed and leaned into him. “I can’t believe Kevin missed his daughter’s birth. I could kill him. He doesn’t deserve either one of them.”

The doors opened and they walked out of the elevator.

“Some people don’t realize what they’ve got until it’s gone,” he said.

Something about his words struck her. A hidden message meant for her perhaps? Was he issuing a warning? She looked up at him, but he gazed ahead, navigating them through the unusually crowded main entrance.

As they made their way to the exit, a large crowd came through the doors at once, pushing them back to one side. Someone knocked into her shoulder, sending her backward and out of Lucas’s embrace. He reached for her and then he was hit from the side, spinning him the other direction. Standing on tiptoes, she could see his head above the others and tried to move in that direction.

Something stroked her palm and then a fist closed around her hand. She turned to see who had touched her and was brushed back by a couple rushing through the doors. A man rushed past, shoving her shoulder and turning her into a woman who complained. She could no longer see Lucas. Panic swamped her. She swung her head one direction then the other, looking for him. Nothing.

A hand clamped down on her arm and she spun around to strike out. Lucas pulled her into his chest. She grabbed a hold of him with both hands, relieved to have finally found him. He steered them to an out of the way corner and wrapped his arms around her.

“Are you all right?” he asked, examining her.

She put a hand over her heart, which still beat out a ragged rhythm. She hadn’t noticed. In all the confusion, she didn’t realize that the stranger had pressed something into her palm. She held out her hand up and unfolded her fingers. A small square of white paper about one inch by one inch sat nestled in her palm.

“What is it?” Lucas asked.

She turned, first one way and then the other, trying to spot the person who could have put it there. Lucas grabbed her shoulder, bringing her back around to him.

“What’s the matter?”

“Somebody put this in my hand.”

He looked down at her palm, then around, his hand going for his gun. “Who? Where?” Grabbing her arm, he pulled her behind him. “Who was it? Where’d they go?”

“I don’t know. I got jostled and then somebody brushed my hand, pressing this paper into it. I never saw them.”

He backed her into a corner, all the while keeping her between him and the crowd. “Are you sure? Did they say anything to you?”

“No, nothing. Just this in my hand. What are all these people doing here at this hour?”

“I heard one of the nurses in maternity talking about a huge pile up on thirty-five. School buses or something.” He scanned the thinning crowd. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t like this.”

Reaching back, he took her hand and pulled her until she was tucked along his side. He rushed her to the truck and had it in gear, backing out of the parking space before she could clamp her seat belt on. He took side streets, changing lanes, and turning until she wasn’t even sure they were pointed in the right direction. She didn’t take a real gulp of air until the gate of his parking garage rolled down after them.

Back in his apartment, Mi dropped the paper onto the coffee table and stared down at it as though it would rise up and eat her whole.

Lucas sat down next to her. “All right. Go over it again. Tell me everything you remember, any impressions or feelings you got. Anything.”

She closed her eyes and pictured it, then cursed herself for being so fixed on Lucas’s words about not appreciating someone until they were gone. If she’d paid better attention, she might have noticed more. She retold the story, pressuring her brain for more details until she’d worked herself into a headache.

“That’s all.” She finally gave up, feeling as though she’d let Lucas down in a whole new way.

“It’s late. You might remember more after some rest.”

“Hmm, maybe.” She pointed to the square of paper. “What do we do with that?”

“I’ll bag it up for Rolls and leave him a voice mail to call us—” He checked his watch. “—in about five or six hours. Why don’t you go get ready for bed?”

“Yeah.” She made a move to go, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

“Hey, you did good. Don’t beat yourself up. You had a really long night with Lucy. I’m sure the hospital has cameras that Rolls can access. With any luck he’ll get an image he can work with.”

“Yeah, okay.”

He released her and she trudged down the hall to the bathroom to get ready for bed. As she entered the bedroom, the first rays of sunrise crested the horizon, beaming light of the new day into the room. She stood at the window for a moment, basking in the wonder of the dawn. New beginnings were supposed to bring hope and clarity, a chance to start over with the lessons learned from the day before.