Rule's Property (The House of Rule Book 2) (16 page)

Her voice crumpled as the tears started flowing freely as she recognized the blatant concern now showing on his face. "Your family doesn't really count, because I was forced on them, you know?" She grimaced and looked away before reluctantly sliding her eyes back to his. "I don't have parents to rely on if push comes to shove.
You're everything to me
. I love you with everything I have and I guess . . . I suppose I thought that you'd recognize that this moment needed to be special for me . . . how important belonging to you is to me . . . you belonging to me . . . that you'd be considerate of my feelings and understand that I needed the words, the motions, the ritual . . . " Her voice trailed off as she reached out with her free hand and balanced it on his chest, trying to convey her pent-up emotions and looking for stability at the same time.

Courtney emerged from her diatribe to complete silence. Nick was staring at her with a look of mixed regret and horror on his face. He brought her hands between them as he held them in his. He swallowed hard and his jaw flexed. "Babe, I'm sorry. I just . . . I don't know what to say."

His turmoil softened her heart. She shook her head, just once. "You don't have to say much. I'm not going to let one tiny bump ruin everything. Just tell me you want to marry me. Tell me you'll keep me safe and be my family." She sucked in a breath. "If you promise me that, I'll forgive you for taking my things without asking, and I'll walk inside that courthouse with you and we'll get a marriage license, because I want to marry you so badly that I can barely think of anything else."

****

Nick was appalled that he'd fucked up so badly. Courtney was being open and honest with him, but there was still a part of him that was trying to hide from the truth, and that couldn't go on.

There was no question; he had to fix this, and fix it now. There was only one way he knew how to do that, and that was to tell her the complete truth. He needed to stop being a scared, fucked-up pussy and start acting like a man. He knew she loved him. She'd just said so, again. And he knew she meant it.

Letting go of her hands, very gently, he wrapped one arm behind her back to lend support and with the other, lifted her chin and stared down into the beautiful blue eyes that had held him enthralled for more years than he could count. "I love you. I've loved you since you were a teenager and I've waited for what seems like my whole godforsaken life for you. All I've ever wanted was for you to love me back and to marry me, to let me be your family." He looked into the beautiful face that was like an addiction to him. "Baby, you're the one who doesn't understand. You're my obsession; you're what I've worked for and lived for my entire life. I not only want to be the one to keep you safe, I've fantasized about it since you were young." He reached down and kissed her on the forehead, forcing himself to hold her gently and not in a grasp so tight that she wouldn't be able to breathe.

When he looked back down, she was holding his eyes like a lifeline, and he continued, putting it all out there for her. "So be mad at me if you have to, but yeah, I orchestrated today in an effort to get you here. I don't know why I feel so vulnerable when it comes to you, I really don't. You're the only thing in the world that I'm scared of losing, of disappointing; I get cold sweats just thinking about it. So, yeah, today was planned. But it gets worse, baby, so if I'm making confessions, I might as well tell you all of it." He looked at her, hesitant to let her know exactly how screwed-up he was.

"Tell me," she whispered.

He gritted his teeth and went for it. "The last couple of months were hell for me, because we weren't together and I need so fucking badly to know you belong to me." He took a deep breath and let out the rest of his confession, hoping she wouldn't think he was insane. "I intentionally drove you across the state line because Illinois only has a twenty-four hour waiting period instead of three days, like Missouri."

After Nick told her that, her eyes flared as she swayed on her feet. If he hadn't been holding her up, she would have fallen to the ground. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I guess I was trying to hustle you into marrying me tomorrow because . . . because . . . I don't know why. I guess I'm scared shitless you're going to slip away from me or something." She still didn't answer. "I can't have that, you know? I can't take that chance."

He saw the pulse in her neck quiver. Finally, she cleared her throat and asked, "You want to get married
tomorrow?"

"Yeah.
More than fucking life itself."

She stared at him as if dumbstruck, finally licking her lips and asking, "And if I agree, will you . . . will you get me a ring?"

At her question, another arrow went straight through Nick's heart. "Sweetheart. I'm such a dumbfuck." He dropped his head and shook it before looking back into her sweet face. "You have no idea." He licked his lips and admitted, "It's in the glove compartment."

"There's a ring in the glove compartment?" she repeated in shock.

"I've had a one-track mind since yesterday, since we both got back into town. I've had the ring so long that truthfully, I was being selfish today, thinking of my needs, wanting to tie you to me, and not what you needed."

Without letting her loose, he walked them to the passenger door and opened it. He maneuvered her until she was sitting, with her legs outside of the car, and he opened the glove box. Reaching into the compartment, he took out a small velvet box and held it up between them. Reaching out, he stroked her hair for several long seconds while she stared at the box.

He squatted down in front of her and all but whispered, "Baby, will you do something for me?" When she nodded her head, continuing to stare at the box, he swallowed, and asked, "Will you shut your eyes and hold out your hands?"

She lifted her head and her eyes clashed with his. He saw the tears swimming there, saw her tremulous smile, and they caused an ache in his gut like he'd never felt before. She shut her eyes and with shaky fingers she held her hands out. He put the box in her hands but didn't let go; he held both the box and her hands together. "I'll always take care of you, Courtney. I swear to God, I'll be the man you want me to be. I'll be your family, I'll worship the ground you walk on." Opening the lid, Nick took the three-carat ring from the box and lifted her left hand. She held her trembling fingers wide.

"Will you marry me?"

Her eyes flooded with new tears and a hot rush of emotion clawed its way down his spine.
He would take care of her.
He'd treat her with kid gloves, just the way he used to before his selfish possessiveness had reared its ugly head. What the hell had he been thinking anyway? Courtney was special. She needed something from him that he was bound and determined to give to her.

As he stared down into her eyes, she whispered, "Yes."

He closed his eyes briefly in relief, and then he opened them and slipped the ring on her finger. He bent his head and kissed her finger, reverently. Swallowing hard, he asked, "You'll go inside the courthouse with me now?"

"Yes."

"And just so there's no more confusion or disagreements, we'll come back again tomorrow and get married?"

"Yes."

"We're not going to tell anyone until it's a done deal, because I don't want any delay. My mother would try to stop us . . . she'd want to throw a big wedding--"

"I don't want a big wedding," Courtney interrupted. "I couldn't stand not having my father there to walk me down the aisle."

Fuck, he was such a dumbshit. Why had he even brought the subject of a wedding up? How could he not have thought of that? All he'd considered was the delay he hadn't wanted. He'd done it again. She was right. He was inconsiderate and he needed to learn how to do better. Starting now. He leaned in again and kissed her forehead once more. "Okay, then. It's a secret until it's done, but then everyone knows, right?"

She broke out into a breathless, radiant smile. "Right," she agreed.

Thank God
.

****

Later that night, Courtney experienced the gentlest lovemaking she'd known in her admittedly short love life. Nick had been unbelievable, stroking every inch of her skin slowly, as if he were entranced.

As she lay awake in the aftermath, listening to his deep breathing, her brain cells were rioting.
My God, he really loved her.

All it had taken was one small talk, two minutes of telling him what she needed from him, a few very real tears, and he'd listened to every word. He'd listened to her and tonight, he'd worshipped her body, his every touch gentle, his every stroke filled with love and a profound need for her.

She closed her eyes in delight. They were going to be so happy together. They loved each other so much, trusted each other, needed each other; they fit together like a glove.

Life was so good.
Finally,
life was good.

Nothing could go wrong.

****

A married woman now, the drive back across the Mississippi River was different than the drive over had been an hour earlier. Courtney couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was, but Nick held her hand just a tad more tightly than before. He controlled the steering wheel with his left hand, and his right hand held hers over the console as he twirled both the engagement ring and the wedding band around and around on her finger. She glanced at his hand on the steering wheel and saw once again, the wedding band on his ring finger that matched hers.

A shiver of delight danced down her spine.

This man was hers
. Hers, by God.

He glanced at her briefly before looking back to the road. "Let's run by the house and get some more of your things. We'll tell mom the news and she can spread the word. Later this weekend, we can pick up the rest of your stuff and you can move in completely. That sound all right?"

"Mm-hmm," she agreed. She'd agree to just about anything right now. Her brain was floating around somewhere in a state of blissful happiness and anticipation.

"You sound happy," he said with a growl of satisfaction.

She smiled and tightened her fingers on his. "That's because I
am
happy."

"Garrett's going to be pissed when you stop travelling," Nick announced with determination in his voice.

Courtney rolled her eyes. She'd travel if she damn well felt like it but she'd cross that bridge later. Nothing was going to interrupt the euphoria running through her bloodstream right now.

When she didn't comment but only kept smiling, he smiled in return, obviously letting his challenge go, and then he changed the subject. "When do you want to start working on a baby? I'm ready whenever you are," he teased. "What do you think?"

Courtney's stomach dropped as she felt the color drain from her face.
Nothing could interrupt the euphoria running through her bloodstream . . . except that.
"Wh-what?" she asked in a stutter.

Nick braked as the car rolled up to a red light, and looked at her with a question in his eyes. "I'm just kidding, babe. I'm not sharing you for a long, long time." He speared his hand through her hair as he smiled. "Unless an accident happens, and then I'll have no choice," he teased.

Thankfully, the light turned green and Courtney was spared from answering. The happiness had just gone out of her day, deflated like a viciously popped balloon.
Shit.
The happiness had just gone
out of her life
. Why. In. The. Hell. Hadn't. She. Thought. About. This?

As they drove through the city, Courtney knew they couldn't tell Justine about the marriage, not yet. Not until they'd talked. Just as he was about to board the freeway toward his mother's house, she stopped him. "Nick," she managed, with ill-concealed dread.

At the tone of her voice, he glanced over. "Yeah?"

"Let's go to the penthouse first, okay?"

"We just decided we'd tell mom and pick up some of your things," he answered in a stilted manner.

"Yeah, I know, but I've changed my mind. I don't feel so hot. Can you take me back to the penthouse?
Please?"

His features hardened but he turned in the appropriate direction. The five minutes it took to arrive in the underground parking were some of the longest of her life. Dread sat like a dead weight in her belly.

But she had to tell him. She knew she did.
And then she had to let him go. She loved Nick but she had to let him go. For his happiness.

To stop it from trembling, she bit her lip until she tasted blood.

****

The minutes in the elevator were some of the most confusing moments of Nick's life. Everything had been damn perfect the entire day. Courtney had worn white to the ceremony, just as he'd requested. He'd had no idea what kind of flowers she would want or if she'd want any at all. He'd bought her a dozen long-stemmed roses, a corsage that would pin to her dress, another that she could wear on her wrist, and finally, a bouquet of flowers she could carry if that was her choice. She'd seemed flabbergasted by all the flowers, but she'd smiled and thrown her arms around him.