Rules for Dating a Romantic Hero (4 page)

Laura was caught off-guard. ‘For who?’

Jim Cutler laughed. ‘
For who
? For you, of course.’ There was almost a note of scorn in his voice. ‘Everyone wants to know. I was at the bookshop earlier and at least three people were wondering when you two are going to make an announcement.’

Because you asked them, that’s why,
Laura thought.

‘I see,’ Laura said. Nick was silent.

‘Look guys, sorry. I have to ask this stuff, you know, it’s my job. It’s what sells papers. People love this kind of story, it’s gold dust. It’s what’ll get you your money, too.’ He didn’t sound sorry at all. ‘So what’s the next step?’

Nick raised his hand. ‘Look, Jim, we’re not going to answer those kinds of questions.’

‘Why? It’s what people want to know.’

‘Really? I can’t imagine anyone’s that interested.’ Nick’s voice was level, but Laura knew that tone. It meant, leave us alone. ‘And it’s no one else’s business.’

‘Is that all you’ve got to say about it to people who work on the estate and are wondering about their future? To our readers, who want you to be happy?’

Nick stood up. ‘Yes. That’s all I’ve got to say. Most couples don’t have journalists and villagers breathing down their necks all the time. We’re quite private. All in good time.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Hey, give us a break, Jim.’

He sat down on the sofa next to Laura and put his arm around her. She took his hand and squeezed it. ‘Yeah,’ she said, trying to show support. ‘Just like Nick said.’

Jim watched them both, then asked calmly, ‘D’you get on OK with your sister – Rose, is it?’

‘Of course,’ Nick said carefully, after a pause. Laura kept a straight face. ‘She’s a bit bossy, but I tell her that all the time. Why?’

Jim shrugged. ‘Well, Lady Rose told me you’ve been saying you’re desperate to have children. She said you’re worried about the future and who’ll inherit this place. She said … where is it?’ He flipped through the pages of his notebook. ‘Here it is.’ He read slowly, stumbling over his shorthand. ‘Yes. “Nick has told me he has to make some changes. He needs to work out what happens with Chartley. You’ve seen
Downton
, Jim … we have to have a male heir. Sexist but true, I suppose!” Blah, blah … Oh yeah.

‘Then she says “There are problems with Laura. I mean, we all love her, but let’s face it, she’s not a country type. She’s more interested in a children’s bookshop than she’ll ever be in running Chartley Hall. She’s made that clear to Nick, that’s why he offered to bankroll it in the first place. He’d do anything to make her stay. But, you know, he’s been hinting to me about various things lately. I’m not sure how much longer he can put up with it.”’

Jim looked up at Laura and Nick, then carried on. ‘Er … yes, then Lady Rose says, “He says he’ll have sorted it all out by the end of the year.” Bit brutal.’ He flipped the pages back. ‘What do you have to say to that?’

Nick swallowed and Laura saw his fists clenching, unclenching, opening and closing. She sat up and smiled, pretending everything was OK. ‘Like we said, that’s our business. Sorry, Jim.’

Inside her heart was thumping so loudly she was sure they must be able to hear it echoing around the room. The only other sound was the photographer’s camera clicking away.

‘I didn’t say any of that stuff,’ Nick said the moment they were out of the room. ‘I’ll have a word with Rose. She really shouldn’t—’

‘Have more than a word with her. Tell her to back off, Nick. Tell her to go back to London and stop interfering in our lives.’

He paused and put his hand on a side table. ‘All in good time, Laura.’

Laura didn’t want to lose her temper, not here. ‘Fine.’ She carried on walking down the long corridor, not really knowing what to say. The afternoon sun shone on the family portraits, lighting up the figures under the centuries-old varnish. A glinting eye here on a wicked old Earl; a winking diamond on a lady’s hand; a creamy shoulder, proudly turned towards the onlooker, with a hand outstretched:
Look at us. We are the Needhams.
Laura had been down this corridor a hundred times, but it had never seemed so crowded before.

‘It’s not fine.’

‘She’s obviously saying something you told her.’ She cleared her throat. ‘You tell her things you don’t tell me.’

‘Well, there’s a reason for that,’ Nick said evenly.

Suddenly the atmosphere was different. They stood facing each other, and after a moment Laura said, ‘Listen, I should think about getting that train. I’ll call Charles, he said he’d drive me.’

She walked down the corridor as the last of the visitors was being ushered out of the library. ‘Thank you! Hope you’ve had a wonderful day! You too, madam. Oh,’ the guide said, biting her lip. ‘Good evening, my lord.’

Her eyes followed Laura, but Laura couldn’t speak all of a sudden. She nodded politely and opened the secret door.

Nick didn’t follow her. ‘Evening, Cynthia, lovely to see you.’

‘Lot of visitors today my lord, all saying how excited they are about the new bookshop.’

‘We’re all excited about it. Have you been in yet?’

‘No, my lord. Maybe next week, when it’s less crowded. Did you hear about Marian?’

Nick leaned towards Cynthia and smiled, his face relaxing. ‘No, what? Did she win the award?’

‘Oh yes, my lord. She was so pleased she did a jig. Frank was there. He said he’s never seen anything like it, even the judges were …’

Cynthia had a daughter, didn’t she? But she also had a dog, perhaps it was the dog? But hadn’t her dog just died? Laura shut the door quietly behind her and walked up the stairs to Nick’s room. A powerful desire to be back in London overcame her again, though she knew it was childish. She couldn’t help it: she’d rather be padding round the flat on a Sunday night with her hair in a towel, eating Thai takeaway and chatting to Jo on the phone than here.

Laura stood still for a few moments, looking around her, and then began throwing her things into an overnight bag. She found her hands were shaking.
There are problems with Laura. I mean, we all love her, but let’s face it, she’s not a country type.
No, I’m bloody well not. She wanted to open the windows and scream at the departing visitors,

I’m from Harrow! I got a rosebud duvet set from Marks & Spencer for my tenth birthday! My mum collects coupons! I’m like you! Take me with you!

She had already finished packing when Nick came in.

‘Sorry about that. Cynthia’s daughter’s dog just won a prize at the county fair and I’d promised I’d go and I couldn’t because of today …’

Laura zipped up the bag.
Is this Marian? Dog or daughter?
she wanted to ask, but she couldn’t. Before today she would have done; they’d have laughed, and Marian would have been added to their long list of little jokes that only they shared. Like shouting ‘SWAN!’ loudly every time they saw a swan (from the film
Hot Fuzz
). Or saying, ‘She sells sea shells on the sea shore,’ as fast as possible whenever they passed a Little Chef in the car.

‘You’re not going now,’ Nick said. It was a statement, not a question.

‘Yeah, I am. I’ll catch the seven o’clock train. I can be back home by nine, I’ve got work to do.’ She fiddled with the zip again, not knowing what to do next. ‘I guess I’ll see you soon.’

‘Laura,’ Nick put his hands on her shoulders and said softly, ‘I mean it. You know I didn’t say that. I don’t know what Rose is talking about. Don’t you believe me?’

‘I want to believe you,’ she said in a small voice. ‘The trouble is I don’t. Why would Rose make all that stuff up? “It’ll all be sorted out by the end of the year.” What did she mean?’

Nick’s face was still right in front of hers. She stared up into his dark eyes, willing him to say something, anything that would explain it.
I’m selling the house. I’m studying for an A Level in Clown Studies and I have to appear in pantomime for the whole of December as part of my coursework. We’ll be engaged by then.
But she knew Nick, and what she loved most of all about him is that he always told the truth. He couldn’t lie, he was incapable of it. The most he’d ever deceived her was when they’d first met.

Now she looked at him.

‘Do you see me here with you at the end of the year? Us together?’

He paused, and in that tiny, fatal second she knew something was up.

‘Yes, of course. I mean, I know we’ve had things to sort out, and that this is a strange time for us, but for God’s sake Laura, yes of course.’

Laura could feel her heart thumping hard in her chest again. She swallowed. Was this it? ‘Right. So, what do you think needs to happen, then? Do I need to go on a course to learn how to be a proper lady? A bit like your sisters?’

‘Don’t be childish.’

‘I’m not being childish.’ Laura’s blood thundered in her ears. ‘Nick, can’t you see? This is all wrong. This isn’t how we’re supposed to be. We’ve let all these other things, all these people, tell us what to think and how to be.’ She picked up the bag, bending over so he couldn’t see the tears forming in her eyes, then straightened up, trying to sound calm. ‘I thought things would be different when I came back fr … from the States. But the same old problems keep coming up again. The same … things.’ She tried not to let her voice break. ‘I should go. It’s best if I – look, maybe I won’t come down next week.’

‘You can’t just run out again, like you did last time,’ Nick said, his eyes glittering with anger. ‘You’ve got this damned shop now, that should keep you here if nothing else does.’

‘I’m so glad you see it like that. As some kind of anchor to tie me here. Nick, I want to be here, but I … I don’t know what’s up with you lately.’

‘I wish you’d just trust me.’ He turned away.

Laura balled her hands into fists. ‘How can I trust you when you fiddle with your phone all the damn time and won’t tell me what you’re up to? When I don’t know how you spend your days? When you go off and tell your sister you need to have a damned
son
but you don’t think I’m the right person for the job.’

‘I didn’t—’

‘Did you say that stuff to Rose?’ she shouted. ‘Did you?’

‘It wasn’t like that,’ he said quietly. His voice was neutral. ‘Can’t you … understand?’

The evening sun fell into the room, bathing them in rosy light and long shadows. ‘I don’t recognise myself any more when I’m down here. It’s the same as always. Oh, Nick. I love – I love you. But we keep having this problem and we can’t get past it. We have to change. Something has to change.’

‘I don’t want you to change.’ Nick took a step towards her. ‘Laura, I’ve never asked that. I want you to stay the same. The person I fell in love with.’ His face was an inch away from hers. ‘I just wish you …’ He put his hands on her cheeks. She could feel his breath.

‘Wish I what?’

‘Wanted it all more.’ His hands dropped to his sides. ‘This.’

She felt so sad then. ‘I do want it.’ Laura picked up her bag again and slung it over her shoulder. ‘But maybe I’m not the right person for the job.’ Her voice was small. She thought she would cry and she mustn’t cry; she had to let him see she wasn’t a child throwing a tantrum, that this was important to her. She touched his arm. ‘Let’s just cool off and speak during the week.’

‘Laura,’ he began, then stopped. ‘Fine. You’re right.’

Charles drove her to the station. In the golden summer dusk the Norfolk countryside was peaceful. A rabbit scuttled across the road, swallows darted in and out of the hedgerows. As they drove up to the station forecourt, Charles turned the engine off and said, ‘It’s a great success, your shop, Laura.’

She turned to him with tears in her eyes. ‘Thank you, dear Charles.’ She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

‘What was that for?’ Charles said, amused.

‘Nothing.’ For never making me feel like an outsider, she wanted to add, but she was sick of herself by now, and bitterly regretting not having parted from Nick on a warmer note. Already she was sure they had both overreacted, her especially. She was tired, the run-up to the opening of the shop had taken it out of her. They’d both said too much.

Laura climbed onto the near-empty train and stared out of the window. She watched as they pulled away, rolling through the flat, empty Fens, the sky above vast and flecked now with red. Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight. She knew that, she thought, with a little chuckle. Perhaps she could turn into the kind of girl Nick seemed to need, an all-purpose country wife, well bred, good with kids, animals, old ladies, extremes of weather, expensive plates and vast houses?

Her phone buzzed and she leapt for it, realising how eager she was to hear from him, how little she wanted it to end like this.

Coming to London. Laura doesn’t know. Can we meet? I need to see you. Can’t stop thinking about what you said. I’ve made a big mistake. Want you to move to Chartley with me ASAP now. All my love, Nick x

‘Paddy, it’s a terrible idea.’ Laura took another sip of coffee and shovelled some more muesli into her mouth.

‘It’s not.’ Her flatmate put his hands on his hips. ‘I’m going to walk down the stairs casually, right? Then I’ll sort of crumple to the ground and kick her door with my foot, and make an “Ahhh! Oww!” sound. Kirsty will come running to the door, she’ll see me there and she’ll invite me in and then …’ he rubbed his hands together. ‘Bingo. Bin. Go.’

Laura sighed. She’d known Paddy for nearly all her life and lived with him on and off for five years or more. She had also lived with Paddy through the Becky years, and she still couldn’t understand why his lovely girlfriend, who’d seemed perfect for him, had finished with him. Then sometimes she’d come into the kitchen and see him in his pants, squatting earnestly in front of the washing machine, waiting for his one pair of trousers to finish drying, and she’d understand why a bit more.

She speared a piece of toast with her fork and began slathering it with Marmite. She was eating a lot of Marmite at the moment. ‘Paddy! You always do this, stop it! This is why girls keep telling you to curl up and – what was it that girl said to you last week?’