Rule of Three (22 page)

“Oh Hailey.” Kassidy stared at her, mouth open. Hailey was jealous of her? That was just freaky. Because she’d been jealous of Hailey.

Life was so strange. When you could be jealous of the things someone else had at the same time they were jealous of what you had. Why couldn’t everyone just be grateful for who they were and what they had without comparing it to others? Why was she like that with Hailey? Just because they were sisters? Was it because Kassidy really did deep down inside love her and that’s why she had the power to make her so angry, so frustrated, the power to make her feel so insecure and inferior? But then Hailey must care about Kassidy too, if she made her feel the same way. They made each other feel bad even though they never intended to, even though you were supposed to make the people you cared about feel good. There was something wrong with that, but she couldn’t figure it all out at that moment; it was beyond her.

Hailey reached for Kassidy’s hands and they sat there for a moment, all four of their hands clasped together.

Kassidy sighed. “Oh Hailey. How can you be jealous of me, for being so good? When all I wanted was to be bad for once. That’s what got me into this mess. I was tired of being the good girl. You made me feel like some kind of boring prude, and I wanted some adventure, I wanted to do something naughty.”

“That’s why you did that?” Hailey’s eyebrows flew up into her hairline.

“Well. That was part of it.” Kassidy paused. “Thank you,” she finally said. “For being here for me. I still don’t know what to do, but thank you.”

Hailey nodded, her mouth soft and trembly, her throat working. “And just for the record, I think Dag cares about you too.” Hailey met her eyes. “That night at Mom and Dad’s, he was acting very protective of you. And I’m telling you Chris loves you too. I don’t think you have to worry about your relationship with him.”

Kassidy blinked wetly at her. She swallowed. And at that moment, even though Hailey didn’t say it, Kassidy thought that maybe Hailey loved her too.

Dag had said you didn’t have to love family. He’d said you loved the people you chose to love. But Kassidy wasn’
t so sure it was a choice–her feelings for
Hailey were there.

Was it a choice to love Chris? She’d always thought falling in love was something that happened to you, not something you chose. Did she choose to love Dag? Maybe you could love more than one person, if you chose to. Could you?

Could Dag? Could Chris?

Chris sprawled on the couch, bare feet propped on the coffee table, a baseball game on the television. He had no fucking clue what the score was, in fact, he didn’t even know who the hell was playing. He just stared at it while his mind churned.

He’d called Kassidy’s cell phone but she wasn’t answering. Where the hell had she gone? What was she so pissed off about? It gave him a headache thinking about all this emotional crap and he didn’t like it, not one bit. His gut felt like a stone had lodged inside it and his chest ached. He glared at the television. Wanted to punch it.

Fuck.

He blamed fucking Dag. Why had he had to go and do something so lame-assed stupid? But that memory had the disturbing effect of making his dick twitch.

Jesus Christ. He could not be turned on by that. It was fucking insane. No wonder Kassidy was pissed off at him.

No, that wasn’t right. He heaved a sigh. That’s not what she was mad about. She was pissed off at him, but he wasn’t getting why.

Because he’d sent Dag away?

Yeah, that might be it. She’d been all riled up when he’d invited Dag to stay without consulting her. This time she probably wanted him to talk to her before he’d asked Dag to leave. Except he hadn’t exactly asked Dag to leave, hadn’t admitted to her that he’d kicked Dag’s ass out of there.

That had been a fucking clusterfuck of a scene, confronting Dag that morning. He’d dragged Dag’s ass out of bed before Kassidy woke up, then told him to pack his stuff and get the hell out.

His gut cramped. He rubbed the sharp pain in the middle of his chest. What a fucking mess.

The sound of the door opening had him jumping to his feet.

Kassidy.

“Hey,” he said, relief pouring through him like Niagara Falls. She walked in, looking like she’d come from a fucking funeral.

“I went to see Dag.”

He took a step back, feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach. “Dag.” She’d been gone a long time. Hours. Shit.

“Yeah.”

Christ, she looked like hell. He’d never seen her so distraught
–
her eyes all red and swollen, her nose red, lips puffy, face blotchy. She was such a beautiful mess.

“Are you okay? C’mere, sweetheart, you’ve been crying…”

“Oh Chris.”

She melted into his arms and he held her tightly, pressed his face against her hair, inhaled the familiar scent of it. They stood there, swaying a little, hearts beating in tandem. “I love you, sweetheart. I do. So much.”

“Really?”

She looked up at him with big, wet eyes.

“Of course.” He frowned. “I know I pissed you off. I should have talked to you before I asked Dag to leave, but…I was mad too, and…”

She choked on a laugh. “You think that’s why I’m mad at you?”

“Hell, I don’t have a hot fucking clue why you’re mad at me,” he said helplessly. “You know I’m not good at shit like this. Are you mad because of the whole threesome thing? That we made you do that?”

“I did it of my own free will,” she said. “I can’t blame you or Dag for that. I had the chance to stop it and I didn’t. And I loved it.” Her voice snagged on the last words and she swiped some tears. “I’m sure as hell mad at myself for doing it though, considering how things have turned out.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay. Dag’s gone, and we’re going to be fine.”

“That’s what Hailey said.”

He frowned. “You went to see Hailey?”

“I didn’t know where else to go. You know what? It was good.” She waved a hand. “I’ll tell you about that later. But we need to talk.”

Shit. Sure they did, and he’d rather eat a pair of Kassidy’s high-heeled shoes than have this conversation, but it was going to happen, sure as shit, he knew that. He sighed.

“Let’s sit.”

They sat side by side on the couch, Kassidy turned to face him. His heart constricted at the sight of her poor little face all swollen and red, the misery in her eyes, the quivering of her soft mouth. He touched his fingertips to her bottom lip.

“I went to see Dag. We talked. He says he’s leaving Tuesday morning to go back to San Francisco.”

Chris nodded. His body tightened, heart ached.

Kassidy drew in a long breath and let it out on a shaky exhale. “He told me something. Something in confidence. He doesn’t want you to know this, but I…” She stopped and breathed again. Chris’s gut clenched even more. “I’ve thought about it and I decided I have to tell you. I can’t live the rest of our lives keeping this from you.” Her eyes met his, hers liquid and dark, full of emotion.

“What is it?” His voice came out scratchy. He cleared his throat. “Oh fuck, Kass. Don’t tell me.”

He turned away and closed his eyes, blades slicing his insides open. He’d been afraid Kassidy had fallen in love with Dag. She’d gone to him. Had Dag fallen in love with her too?

Chapter Nineteen

Fuck. Fuck everything in the world. If he lost Kassidy… Pain seized Chris in a crushing grip.

He’d already lost Dag. That was bad enough. But to lose both of them…to each other? He wanted to puke up the coffee he’d downed earlier.

“I have to tell you,” she said softly. “You’re not going to like it.”

No. No. No.
His head spun.

“Chris. Dag’s in love with you.”

The words pierced the fog swirling in his brain. He knew it. He fucking—
What?
His brain screeched to a halt like a record on a turntable. What had she said? His head snapped around.

“He’s… What did you say?” His eyes squinted at her.

“He’s in love with you. He always has been.”

He blinked at her. Wheels turning, processing information, but the hard drive in his brain was short circuiting and it wasn’t computing. “You’re telling me he’s gay?”

Dag had sucked his cock. Licked his balls. Put his finger… Chris shook his head. “He can’t be gay.”

“He says he likes men and women. But he’s in love with you.” Her voice cracked. She sucked in another quivering breath. “I had to tell you. So I know…whatever happens…we’re not living a lie.”

He stared at her, his forehead tight, body rigid. “Living a lie.”

She nodded, holding his gaze.

“What are you saying?” he asked carefully.

“I’m just saying…if you have any feelings for Dag…any…you need to tell him. To talk to him about it. To figure out what you want to do about it.”

“He’s my friend.”

His brain went empty. Total vacuum.

“I know,” she whispered, touching his cheek. “I know you love him as a friend. I know that, Chris. You missed him so much. You were so happy he was back. I’ve seen you together, how much fun you have, how much you guys care about each other. I should have realized sooner what it all meant…” She closed her eyes. “But maybe I was in denial too, thinking that I could be part of it.”

Still blank. Nothing. Wheels turning.

“Uh…no, Kass.”

“You should go talk to him.” Her fingers caressed his jaw, rubbing over the stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave off that morning. “Whatever. Only you really know how you feel. But you can’t let him leave like this.”

Oh, hell yeah, he could.

Hell no, he couldn’t.

Gut twisting, chest throbbing, head spinning, he could only stare at her. How could she be telling him to do that? How could she send him away? Who did she love? Him? Or Dag? It made no sense. “I love you, Kassidy.”

“I know.” Her mouth quivered into a small smile. “I know.”

“What if I don’t? I mean, what if I don’t go talk to him.”

She gazed at him. “I don’t know, Chris. I don’t know if we can be together unless you sort this out.”

“I don’t get it. If you’re thinking that I’ve been in the closet and hiding it from you all this time, that’s the—”

She shook her head. “I don’t think that. But if you don’t talk to him, if you don’t figure out yourself what your feelings are for him, I’ll spend the rest of our lives wondering about it. Hurting for Dag. Hurting for us. If you go see Dag and you guys talk and you come back to me, and Dag goes back to San Francisco and that’s the way our lives are going to be—fine.” A flicker of what looked like pain passed over her face. “If you go see Dag and you…” A small sob hiccupped her words. “If things turn out differently, well, then…”

Chris shook his head.

“I just don’t want to spend the rest of our lives not knowing the truth.”

“Kassidy. I’ll go see him if it will make you happy. But you gotta believe me
–
I don’t want to lose you.”

“Go see him.”

“I’ll…think about it.”

“He’s leaving Tuesday morning.”

Pressure built inside him. “I’ll…maybe tomorrow.”

How was she supposed to concentrate on work?

Kassidy almost considered going home sick Monday morning, but she’d missed so much time lately because of her mother she just couldn’t do it. The project was already behind schedule and she had a million things to do, not to mention check on her mother. Mom had another doctor appointment this week and she needed to make sure her dad was able to take her, and she had training proposals to review and…she couldn’t focus on any of that because she kept going over and over in her head her conversations with Dag and Chris.

And Chris, the big stubborn jerk, was sitting in his office pretending their life hadn’t just fallen apart, procrastinating on going to see Dag, and Dag was leaving…
leaving!
Tomorrow!

“Kassidy, did you sign off on those invoices?” Her boss, Paul, appeared in her office door.

“Um. Yeah. I gave them to…no, they’re right here. But I signed them…” She handed them over.

“No. You didn’t.” He frowned at them.

“Oh. Sorry! Here, I’ll just…” She reached for them.

“Did you review them?”

“Yes, of course. I mean, I think I did…”

“Kassidy, are you okay?” He squinted at her.

“Of course! I’m fine.” She flashed a smile.

“How’s your mom doing?”

“She’s doing okay. It will be a while before she’s…before…” To her horror and embarrassment her throat tightened on a huge sob and tears started running down her face.

“Oh Jeez.” Paul backed up a step. “Uh, Kass…you want…you should…why don’t you go home.”

“No.” She snatched up some tissues from the box on her desk. “No, I can’t go home. I mean, I’m fine.”

“But…”

“I’m sorry.” God, how unprofessional, breaking down in tears in the office. “I’m just a little stressed right now. I just need a minute.”

“I’ll send uh…Laura to check on you.” He disappeared.

She laid her head down on the desk. God, all she needed was to fall apart at work and get canned right now. She had to get a grip. It took all she had to get the tears under control, repair her makeup, and then head to the elevator to go see Chris.

He was in a meeting.

“Tell him to call me when he’s out,” she said to his admin assistant with a smile. Jessica was looking at her oddly, no doubt observing her swollen eyes and red nose, which she’d tried to camouflage with powder. In a couple of hours, rumors would be winding their way through the office grapevine that she and Chris were having “problems”. She knew how it worked.

Ha. If people only knew! The thought of the grapevine getting hold of the real juicy scuttlebutt almost made her laugh as she took the elevator back to her own office.

Chris didn’t call her.

She refused to go back to his office and add more juice to the rumor mill, so she called him and left one voice mail message, sent him one text message. Goddammit, he was ignoring her.

He was going to ignore this problem until Dag was gone and it was too late to do anything about it. Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn!