Ruined (26 page)

Erik could spend the rest of his life with me and never tell me he loved me, and I would be happy – as long as I had him. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and make changes to some of the stupid things that I have done. This was one of those things.

No matter how many times I looked in the mirror, I looked retarded. My butt is too skinny, and my thighs are huge. I stood in front of the mirror in my new dress trying to decide if I looked like a fool. As always, I did. Erik always told me that I looked great, but I wonder how sincere he is. I can’t look
great
all of the time. Not to anyone. Erik looked great, always.

I want his arms around me.

When Erik holds me, nothing else matters. When I put my head on his shoulder, there is nothing else that matters. Feeling his chest against mine, and his heart beating – I love it. He touches my face, and tells me I am beautiful, and he always runs his hands through my hair. I love it when he runs his hands through my hair. I wish he never stops running his hands through my hair.

And I love the way he makes me cum. Nobody has ever made me cum so much. Over, and over, and over. Erik has reinvented the orgasm for me. He said he was going to ruin me, and own me. He did both.

Sometimes I tried to think what I would be like if Erik was to leave me, and never see me again. I would lie in my bed and think. Erik no more. No more hugging. No more smiles. No more hand holding. No more tying me up and fucking me good. And no more I don’t even know what’s next because he said this is nothing more than a slice of a side of a diamond and oh my fucking God he is going to fuck me so many different ways and there are always going to be surprises because I never know what he is going to do next.

No more
baby girl.

I always stop thinking about it and tell myself to live in today, and make Erik happy. Do what he wants, because what he wants is what I want. I want him to be happy, and when he wants something, I want to do it. Because he wants it.

I am so fat. Fat legs. I wish they could suck fat out of my legs and shove it in my butt. Someone needs to figure that one out. I would be a happy girl if my leg fat became my butt fat. If my butt was a little bit fatter, I wonder what it would feel like when Erik slapped it. I love it when I don’t know he’s going to spank me and he spanks me anyway. That first slap is so good. After he slaps it the first time, I know he is going to slap it again, and I wait for it. And then whenever he moves his arm, I know it’s coming. I still love it, but that first one is always the best.

Thinking about it is making me wet.

And I am not wearing panties.

Time, time, time. What time…6:50. Erik is supposed to be here to get me at 7:00.

Where do all my bobby pins go? I buy them by the hundreds, and I never have any. There should be 500 bobby pins on the floor or in my bed, and there are none. Three, I have three bobby pins in the bathroom.

Three. 

I hope when Erik gets here, he doesn’t get mad about the grad school talk. I will do whatever he wants me to do. Anything. But I do not want him to get mad because I spent all summer not telling him. I just want him to hug me. Hug me and tell me everything is alright. I want that.

I want him to hug me with his cock.

I can’t ever get enough of him. I know Erik said I am not broken and that I am normal, but all I ever think about is fucking him. That’s all I can think about. Who would have him and not spend every moment of every day wanting to fuck him? Who would not be fucking him every moment that he is around? I want to fuck him a lot more than he wants to fuck me. I wish he fucked me all the time. In the house, in the elevator, in the car, in the parking garage, in the parking lot, at the store. I love fucking him.

Bobby pins or no bobby pins?

Fat. I am so fat. Erik’s a doctor, he will know if they can put my thigh fat into my butt. I bet they can.

Time. 6:55.

No bobby pins, he can’t run his fingers through my hair when I have in bobby pins.

As soon as my phone beeped, I knew it was Erik. He’s always on time. He never procrastinates, not that I know of anyway. I can’t wait to smell him, touch him, and have him touch me. I am going to suck his cock on the way to dinner. That will make him happy. He will not be so mad about this discussion if I suck his cock on the way to dinner. I can’t believe that I didn’t think about that before now. I’m fat
and
stupid. He loves it when I suck his cock. He moans. And when he moans, I melt.

I grabbed my phone and swiped it.

Heather Whore:
Sup, bitch?

Are you kidding me? What is she doing texting me? Grrrrrr. I typed a message and pressed send.

Heather Whore:
Go away!!! Erik is on his way and we’re going out. TTYL. 
:)

My phone beeped again.

Heather Whore:
Did he talk to you about poker run?

I read and reread the message.
Poker run?
I typed a response.

Heather Whore:
No.

Immediately, it beeped again.

ERIK EADS:
Baby girl, I am outside the door.

I turned my phone off, tossed it in my purse, and ran for the door.

Opening the door to Erik’s car, and seeing him sitting there, his head turned and looking at me – made me feel better about what I was planning to do. He made me feel a new kind of happy when I saw him sitting there. Dark blue jeans, a dark blue V-neck tee, and his tattooed forearm pulsing as he gripped the steering wheel.

Something was different, maybe because I wanted it to be, but it was different.

“Baby girl,” he said as he looked at me.

His bicep flexed as he twisted his hand on the steering wheel.

“Big Daddy,” I said back, smiling.

He started to drive forward. I buckled my seatbelt, because he always yelled at me when I forgot to. I thought about it, and unbuckled it. I slid over the center console of the car, and laid my head in his lap, facing his stomach.

“You alright, baby?” he asked.

I turned and smiled at him as I slid my hand to his thigh. I could feel him beneath his jeans. I started stroking him as he shifted the gears, driving up the street away from Old Town. He began to swell with each stroke. I hoped he wanted this as bad as I did. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to be pleased with me. He always says I suck his cock so good, and he always moans for me. I want him to like this.

I unbuckled his belt, and unbuttoned his pants. I turned my head slightly toward him, looking for rejection or acceptance from him. He was looking straight ahead, both hands on the wheel. As I unzipped his pants, his cock popped up. Immediately, I licked my lips and began to slide my mouth onto the soft head.

I licked the head in a circular motion, getting it wet. I looked up at him, and he was watching. I slid my mouth down slowly, taking as much of it in my mouth as I could. I purposely didn’t try to take it all, I wanted to tease him. He felt different in my mouth at this angle, and I wondered if I could fit all of him into my throat.

I slid my mouth up and down his hard, swollen shaft. With my right hand, I began to massage his balls, trying to get him to cum. As I massaged them lightly, I buried my face into his lap, taking him into my throat. My throat began to pulse. I loved the feeling of his cock being there. It made me feel like he was mine.  

I slid my mouth up and off of his cock completely. As my mouth slid off of the head, the saliva from my throat collected in my mouth. I spit a little onto his cock, and put my lips back onto it, making a string of saliva connect his cock to my lips. Slowly lifting my lips, I made sure we were still connected by the saliva. Proudly, I turned and looked up at Erik.

He watched as he drove. I did it again, stringing the saliva from my lips to his cock.

“Suck that cock, baby girl. Suck it like a good girl,” he said as he turned the corner.

I immediately engulfed his entire cock, and began to suck it as deeply and as quickly as I could. The harder I sucked it, the more saliva came from my throat. I went faster and faster, taking it all into my mouth, and then into the back of my throat. I repositioned on the console, and moved my left arm behind me, giving me more room. As my mouth slid up the shaft, I began to press against the bottom of his shaft with my tongue, forcing his cock into the roof of my mouth as it slid past.

I reached back and grabbed my dress, pulling it over my butt. I felt the air conditioning blowing on my butt. I could feel that I was wet. I began to moan as I continued to take him in my mouth. I started humming and growling as I started to suck it more aggressively. I raised my head, and looked at Erik.

“Cum in my mouth, please. I want it so bad,” I begged him, batting my eyelashes.

“If you keep doing that, I will,” he responded.

I licked the tip as I looked him in the eye. I kept eye contact, and took all of him into my mouth. He watched as I slid my mouth up and down, alternating his gaze from the road to my eyes. He turned another corner.

He removed his right hand from the steering wheel, and slid it down my back. I felt his palm in between my cheeks. He began to slide his two middle fingers along my wetness. I stretched, trying to force his fingers inside of me. I wanted to feel him inside of me.

Using his left hand, he turned the wheel. His right hand slid inside of me, and pulled upward, almost lifting my knees from the seat. He slid his two fingers in deep again, and pulled upward, stretching me. I stopped sucking and tried to feel what he was doing.

In again and up. In and up.
Oh, God, what was he doing?

His fingers slid in, and he curved them, tickling me. In and curled. As they were deep inside of me, he lifted up, stretching me again. I can’t take this. I am going to cum all over his car.

Focus, Kelli, focus.

I swallowed his cock, and began growling as he fingered me deeply. I kept my head buried onto him until I could no longer breathe. I lifted my head, gasped a quick breath, and back down, taking his entire length into my throat. I growled as I kept it in my throat.

We drove in circles. I could feel it.

His fingers slid in deep and stayed still.

I growled and shook my head.

Cum, please cum, I can’t take this. Please cum for me.

His fingers started slamming in and out as fast as he could. My focus shifted from sucking his cock to the feeling inside of me. I lifted my mouth from his cock, and laid my head onto it, pressing my cheek against it.

In and out. In and out.

And the car stopped.

“Where are we?” I asked, turning to look out the window.

“On top of the parking garage. On the roof,” he responded.

“You have to move, I need to get to the console, so I can shut off the car,” he said.

I sat up in the car, and he moved the selector on the console, and turned the key off.

“Get your little ass out of the car,” he demanded.

Oh no. He was mad. What did I do? Crap, I did something wrong. Fucking Heather. Heather told him about grad school. Fuck.

I got out of the car, and looked over the top at him.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“Fuck no I’m not mad. Get your little ass over to the edge of the roof.
Now.
”

I took a couple of steps to the edge of the roof, and looked down. He had parked at the parking garage at the theatre, a block from my house. I was looking down at all of the traffic and the people walking in and out of the restaurants. The concrete roof was raised up at the edge, like a wall, and came up to my stomach.

“Put your hands on the top of that wall, and look down, do
not
turn around, do you hear me?” he asked harshly.

“Yes. I mean
yes sir
,” I quickly put my hands where he said.

I turned and looked as he walked around the car, his jeans at his thighs, his still stiff cock sticking out in front of him.

He came behind me and lifted my dress. His right hand grabbed my hip and pulled me back toward him. I bend my knees. I felt the head of his cock pressing against my lips, and then slide in.

Holy fuck, this isn’t going to take long for me….Oh. My. God.

I looked down at the people, and he started to slide out slowly. He pressed it back in, and held his hips against my butt. I felt his chest against my back, and his hand grabbed my hair. I felt his breath on my right ear.

“See that car down there? You have about two minutes until they’re up here. That’s if there’s no one else already coming up ahead of them. Now, Kelli, I want you to cum on my cock.
Do you hear me?”
he said harshly.

I nodded my head.

“Do you hear me?”

“Yes. Yes sir,” I responded.
Oh God. Get to fucking me, already.

He slid out and began to fuck me hard - harder than he ever has before. He was jackhammering me.
Slap, slap, slap, slap
…I heard his hips against my butt.
This isn’t going to take long, not long at all.