Ruin Porn (22 page)

“No, I already ate.” She tilted her head. “You know, at a normal dinner time.”

“On the road there are no normal dinner times. Usually it’s bar food and beer when I get a chance. Or room service. I’ve missed home cooking.”

“You need to take better care of yourself. Which reminds me, your dad wants you to call him once you get settled.”

“Why does the fact I need to take better care of myself remind you of dad?”

“Because he’s another one who needs to take better care of himself,” she commented with a roll of her eyes.

“What has he been up to?” Ritchie asked around another big bite. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was till he sat down; now he was shoveling it in like a pig at a trough. But damn it really was good.

“He’s got another new girlfriend. I swear each time he trades one in, they get younger and younger. Male menopause is not a pretty thing.”

“You do realize why he does that, don’t you?” Ritchie asked with a sly grin.

“Middle-age crisis?”

“That, and the fact that he simply can’t find anyone as great as you.”

“Whatever,” she sniffed with a dismissive wave. “Eat your dinner.”

She might not admit it, but she knew it was true. Dad had spent the first five years of their breakup going between dating and begging for Mom to take him back. Minnie was a hardworking, loyal woman and an honest one to boot. But once you betrayed her trust—cheating, the ultimate betrayal—she was done. Dad wasn’t a bad guy, but he’d made a huge mistake and had regretted it ever since. Ritchie didn’t hold the divorce against her—although he had for a time during his early teens. He understood now he had some Daddy issues, but he’d been blessed with a kickass mom, so he wasn’t complaining. He scraped the bottom of the bowl and let his spoon clank down in it before holding it up.

“All done.”

“You want more?” She started to rise, but he stopped her.

“Nope, I’m good.” He downed his glass of milk and wiped his mouth—much to Mom’s disapproval—on the back of his sleeve. “So what did the doctor say about Grandma? Anything we can do to help?”

“No, unfortunately she is on the max dose of medication and….” She looked away, but not before Ritchie cataloged defeat in the hunch of her shoulders.

“What is it?”

“Dr. Walker thinks I should consider putting her in a home.”

Great, now he almost wished he hadn’t changed the subject. He hated seeing his mom so upset. He pushed his bowl aside and went to sit next to her. “He only said you should consider it. You don’t have to make the decision tonight.”

Mom gave him a tired smile and patted his cheek. “I know. Don’t pay any attention to me, you know I always get weepy when I’m tired.”

“Me too. Where do you think I get it from?” he teased. “I think we should both get a good night’s sleep and we can talk about it tomorrow, deal?”

“Deal,” she agreed, and this time her smile reached her eyes. “It’s so good having you home. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too.” He kissed her cheek, went to his feet, and held out his hand. “Alright, Mouse, off to bed with you.”

“I will as soon as I clean up the kitchen,” she said, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

“I got this. Now go.”

“But—”

“No buts.” He gave her a gentle shove. “Good night, Mom, see you in the morning.”

“I never could win an argument with you. Good night.”

“Don’t know why you even try.” He chuckled, picked up his dirty dishes, and took them to the sink.

He heard her whisper “because it’s my job” as she left the room, and he laughed again. It felt good to be home, even if the news for Grams wasn’t the best. Maybe he could get Mom to take some time off work, take a little vacation. He’d been helping with Grams since he was a teenager, he knew the drill, the routine. It would be good for her. Hell, it would probably be good for Grams too.

He cleaned up the kitchen and turned the light out, checking to make sure the front door was locked as he passed by to pick up his bag. By the time he made it to his room, the morning conversation with Evin and the long-ass trip caught up with him and he barely had the energy to brush his teeth and wash his face before bed. Stepping out of the bathroom, he stopped and stood by the window, looking out at the clouded, black starless sky.

It was good to be home, yet part of him was ready to get back out on the road. It had been mere hours since they’d parted and already he missed the guys, missed the pace of constant travel, the camaraderie of all of them in it together. This would be the first time he’d slept alone in four months. He missed Evin and Finn like crazy, but…. Ritchie sighed and flopped down face-first into his bed, fighting sleep with the thought of how much more he missed Miah running in an endless loop around his brain.

Detroit—Hamtramck

F
INN
STEPPED
out of the cab that dropped him down two blocks from his home and walked along the row of post-World War II cookie-cutter houses. He was happy to see how many of the abandoned houses had been demolished since he’d left. Of the ones left on this block, each was a virtual carbon copy of the others, structurally the only difference being the color of the paint and the lawn art, or lack thereof. It wasn’t the best neighborhood in Hamtramck, but it wasn’t the worst by far, and he felt at ease walking his street even in the middle of the night. Most of the neighbors were good, middle class, hardworking people who all tended to look out for one another. They had to: the downturn in the Detroit auto industry had been encroaching on their little neighborhood for years now. He’d pleaded with his parents to move to the burbs where the crime rate wasn’t such a concern, but they had refused. Mum loved her home and her neighbors, and Da did whatever it took to keep his wife happy.

The minute he stepped on the first paver of the walkway leading up to his house, the door flew open and his mom appeared, proving just how tight their community still was. “Mrs. Johnson called and said you were on the way.”

“I never could get away with anything in this neighborhood,” he snickered and rushed up the steps to pull her into a hug. “How’s my best girl?”

“I’m well, but you should have called. Your Da and I would have picked you up from the airport. It’s freezing out here. Too cold to be walking home. Get in here,” she ordered and pulled him into the house.

“It’s not that bad out,” he assured her and closed the door behind him, brushing the snow from his shoulders. “Besides, I took a cab. Only walked a couple of blocks.”

Mum pulled her robe tighter around her, her brows stitching together with concern. “You okay, you got something on your mind? Something bothering you?”

“No, just needed the fresh air is all. Was a long flight. I’m pooped.” He dropped his bag on the floor and pulled off his coat.

“Here, let me take that.”

He handed her his coat and pulled off his boots, setting them aside. One did not walk on Elizabeth Reese’s floor with shoes on. She was meticulous about the cleanliness of her house, but she never imposed that on him. She was old-country. She lived by the philosophy that was instilled in her by her mother and her mother’s mother: it was her job to clean up after her messy husband and son. It was a full-time job, for sure. He had a lot of respect for her. That wasn’t to say Finn didn’t have the same respect for his father—the man worked hard to provide for his family. But after he clocked out from the factory, his work day was done. His mum, being a stay-at-home wife and mother, was never off work.

“I have some left over coddle in the fridge I’ll warm up for you,” Mum said as Finn entered the kitchen. With a critical eye, she raked her gaze up and down his frame. “You’ve lost weight.”

Finn looked down his body. He was pretty sure his bulky sweatpants and hoodie made him look as if he’d gained thirty pounds. “How can you tell beneath all these clothes?”

“Because I’m your mum. Now wash your hands and have a seat.”

“No really, I’m not hungry, but thanks.”

“It wasn’t a request, Finnegan,” she said curtly and pulled open the refrigerator.

Finn started to argue—he just wanted a shower and to take his weary ass to bed—but knowing the futility in fighting her, he snapped his mouth shut and did as he was told.

“Did Miah and Ritchie make it home safe?” Mum asked from the stove where she was heating up Finn’s unwanted meal.

“They looked safe enough when I left them at the airport.”

Mum turned and looked at him with a curious expression. “Why did you leave them there? You didn’t ride home together?”

Elizabeth wasn’t just his mum. She fancied herself the mum of Miah and Ritchie too. If she’d been given the option, she’d have adopted Miah in a heartbeat, and when Ritchie had a hard time during the divorce of his parents, he’d taken refuge within the walls of the Reese household, seeking stability at a time when his own household was in shambles.

“No, my bags got misplaced so I told them to go on without me.”

“And they left you alone?” Mum asked, slightly horrified as she set a cup of steaming tea in front of him.

Finn chuffed. “The last time I checked my ID, I was deemed an adult. I don’t need anyone to hold my hand, Mum.”

“Don’t you take that tone with me, young man,” she chastised before returning to the stove to stir the coddle. “It doesn’t matter how old you are. This city isn’t the best place to be out at this time of night. You’re safer in numbers.”

Finn couldn’t help but smile at his overprotective mother. “I know, but I’m home now. So you can stop worrying over me.”
Like that would ever happen.
He grinned as he sipped at his tea, the touch of milk and sugar she’d stirred into the bone china cup in perfect balance as always.

“Eat up,” she said as she set down a bowl of coddle in front of him, the delicious scent of sausage, bacon, onion, and potato wafting up. “You want some bread?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks.” He picked up his spoon and stirred the contents.

“I’m going to go lie back down. I’ve got to get up with your dad in a couple hours.” She kissed him on top of the head. “Good to have you home, son. Leave this mess. I’ll take care of it while I’m making your dad breakfast.”

“Good to be home. Good night.”

Finn waited until he heard the door to his parents’ room click shut before he went to his feet and poured the contents of his bowl back into the pot. He loved Mum’s cooking, especially her coddle, but his belly was churning unpleasantly and he wasn’t sure he could stomach something so rich. The last thing he needed was for Mum to think her cooking had made him sick. The flip-flopping of his belly and the heaviness in his chest had nothing to do with food and everything to do with how he and Evin had left things. Or not left them, as it was.

Finn leaned against the kitchen sink looking out at the darkness beyond the window, only it wasn’t the winter moon he was seeing, but Evin’s smiling face as he’d laid in bed next to him during their last night in Madrid. Jesus, had that only been less than two days? Upon waking and finding Evin was already on his way to LA, a strange feeling had settled into Finn, the intensity of a loss he didn’t understand only growing with each passing moment.

Finn couldn’t ever remember missing anyone as much as he did Evin.

“Two months?” he whispered. He’d fallen for Evin and no one could know until Finn was sure where the two of them stood. Jesus, he had to get a grip. The more he fell, the harder it was going to be to hide his feelings. The effort it was going to take to hide would be exhausting.

He rubbed at his throbbing temples. He didn’t even want to think about hiding right then or the lies that would have to go with it. Hell, he didn’t want to think about Evin either. It fucking hurt to think of him. He pushed away from the sink and headed for the bathroom. A hot shower and some sleep would make it easier to deal with. Everything looked worse in the darkness of night, right? But even as he thought it, he knew it was utter bullshit.

He didn’t have control anymore and he didn’t know how to gain it back. He had pushed on regardless of the consequences, and just like a runaway train, it was inevitable that he’d run off the rails.

At least the wreckage would make for some fucking epic songwriting.

Detroit—Hamtramck

M
IAH
CLOSED
the door behind him to the apartment he shared with his dad since they moved out of his childhood home, and engaged the deadbolt. It was dark. Unwelcoming. He dropped his bag by the door and pulled off his boots with nothing but silence to greet him.

Being a weekend night, his dad didn’t have to work in the morning, and on his nights off he rarely went to bed before the bars closed. Miah had texted him, letting him know what time he’d be home, and so to find the living room dark, the recliner his dad normally occupied empty, hit him hard. His disappointment only intensified when he flipped on the light in the kitchen and found a note stuck on the fridge.

Out with the guys, see you later.

Welcome home.

Dad

Miah snatched the note and crumpled it into his fist. “Seriously, you haven’t fucking seen me in four months and….” He threw the note into the trash and gritted his teeth. His disappointment was one thing; the surprise that his dad wasn’t home was pure stupidity. It had always been this way. Ever since his mom ran off with some guy when Miah was five, he’d spent his life begging for scraps of attention from Jedidiah Thade. Jed was the epitome of hardnosed, hard drinking, emotionless, and macho male. Miah spent his life doing everything in his power to make the son of a bitch proud of him. However, it seemed no matter how successful Miah and the rest of the band became, the only thing his dad cared about, the only question he ever asked him when they spoke was
Did you get some good pussy?
For Jed, the true success of any man was determined by the number of women he could fuck in one night.