Ruby Rose (17 page)

Ruby's temper boiled over. “You have no idea what you're talking about! Not everyone can have
Happily Ever After
. We all don't live in a fantasy world!”

“My life isn’t always a fairytale. But I take chances in life. I take risks on love and life and hopefully will someday reap the rewards.” Melanie leaned forward on the table with a scowl on her face. “You're stronger than this, Ruby. You have to stop running. You need to stand up and fight for what you want.”

“Evan made his feelings clear.”

“Oh, stop that line of bull!” Melanie interrupted.

Ruby loved Melanie with her whole heart, but she had the urge to rip her hair out. The truth of the matter was, she knew Melanie had a point.

“Maybe you're right,” Ruby softly admitted.

Melanie looked up from her coffee with a satisfied smirk on her face.

Ruby tried to swallow the forming ball in the back of her throat. “But it doesn't really matter now. I messed up, I managed to push Evan away, whether I like it or not.”

“I'm not so sure about that. I think all you have to do is be honest with yourself and honest with him. I think you could work it out if you really wanted to.”

Ruby shook her head and fought back the building tears. “How? I lied. I chased him away when all he wanted to do was love me. He has no idea how much I love him and want to share my life with him.”

Melanie reached across the table and grabbed Ruby's hand. “Then, tell him that. Swallow your pride and be honest. He's worth that.”

Ruby looked down at her lap in defeat. “I'm not sure that I can.”

Melanie was a good friend, always had been. But sitting here with her made Ruby suddenly realize how much she loved her. It was comforting to know she had someone to lean on. Many people didn't like Melanie Dexter, but Ruby always saw the good. Right now, Ruby saw even more. Wisdom. Melanie might be a tad spoiled, and definitely self-centered, but her larger-than-life attitude pulled you in. She exuded confidence and spontaneity. And she'd always treated Ruby with nothing but kindness and loving support. Melanie's reputation was no secret. She was known for sleeping around and being sexually adventurous, but Ruby suspected there was more to it than she knew.

Melanie seemed to ponder Ruby's statement of defeat. “From the moment you met Evan, I saw the shadows in your eyes. Something has you scared, Ruby.” Melanie reached across the table and gripped Ruby's hand. “You need to let go of your doubts,” she urged. “You have a really good thing.”

Ruby swallowed.

When she didn't say a word, Melanie gently squeezed her hand. “I want so bad what you and Evan have. I look on with envy. Not because he's the famous Evan Steel, but because I can see the love between you two. I know I put off the image that I'm some big slut,” Melanie began, her voice breaking on that last word. “And I guess maybe I am. It's true – I do experiment a lot… with people. I just… I feel lonely, you know? Have you ever been surrounded by people, yet you feel so alone?”

“Yes,” Ruby whispered. Alone was not a foreign feeling for her.

“That's how I felt all my life,” Melanie confessed. Her eyes darkened to a stormy gray. “My mother ran out on us when I was six, my father was a drug addict, my older brother was overcome with rage and still is. And then I met Marshall in high school, and I thought life would be different.” She gave a weak smile. “So I married him at eighteen. I had a husband, a man who claimed to love me, a man who said I was the most important thing in his life. But he lied. Marshall was always gone, off with his buddies and other women. He didn't spend any time with me. We were newlyweds, and all he wanted to do was
be with anyone else but me.
”

Ruby sat in silence, stunned by the confession. She never knew Melanie had ever been married.

“I was bored. And lonely.” Melanie swallowed. “And I cheated on him. Call me heartless if you want, but I was weak. I just wanted someone to love me and give me attention. I didn't want to be alone. I'd been alone my whole life. After a very short marriage, we divorced.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I guess you could say I've been trying to find myself since. I'm just trying to find someone to love me… as broken as I may be.”

Ruby wanted to reach out and hug her friend, but remained still so Melanie could continue.

Melanie picked up her coffee cup. “So that's it, my sordid tale. You think I'm confident, that I have no insecurities? That's a lie. I'm still the same timid little girl who cried and never got enough love. I'm a cheater, a liar, and I use people to fill my empty void. I'm not always proud of that, but it's my truth. And I'm lonely. Really, really, lonely.”

Although Ruby didn't agree with Melanie's decisions on how to deal with her loneliness, Ruby couldn’t feel anything but admiration and respect for the woman. And she couldn't judge Melanie, any more than Melanie judged Ruby.

“You're lucky, Ruby. You don't have to be alone,” Melanie said softly, still clutching Ruby's hand. “Don't give up on Evan.”

****

Evan leaned his head back against the leather seat and closed his eyes, only half-listening to the booming music of the club. It had been a couple of weeks since he last saw Ruby. Still having to make a living, he had no choice but to make an appearance at the club where Ruby worked. It wasn't like he had anything to worry about. He had moved past Ruby. He had no choice.

He sat there alone. Not that he couldn't have found a willing partner to keep him company, but the idea held no appeal for Evan. After the heartbreak of Ruby, he was done with women for a while. Although the idea of meaningless sex to temporarily fill a void looked more tempting by the day. Nothing more, nothing less. Evan decided after Ruby crushed his heart that the whole “happily-ever-after” thing was just a foolish fantasy.

His glance moved to the crowded bar at the other end of the club. He didn't have to see Ruby to know she was there. Which was the reason Evan would avoid the bar at all costs. Plenty of people could stand between them, and he hoped he didn’t have to see Ruby ever again. The pain would be too much. He shrugged off the dark thoughts and leaned his head against the seat again, thankful for the crowd of people to provide a shield between the two of them.

“Are you going to sulk all night?” Gage asked as he sat next to Evan, handing him a beer.

Evan shrugged.

“Come on. You’re going to have to face her eventually. Avoiding the situation isn’t going to make it go away.”

“It’s over. No need to dwell on it,” Evan replied as he took a large swig of the drink.

“So, you don’t mind knowing that she’s over there working. I saw her.”

Evan shrugged.

“You're going to lose her, man,” Gage warned.

“I already did.” Evan replied. He took a large gulp of the beer in front of him to try to numb the pain in his heart that Gage was drudging up again. The past two weeks had been absolute hell.

“No, I mean if you don't get off your stubborn ass, she's going to take off and head back to San Francisco.”

“She's leaving? What do you mean?”

“I mean, I heard she was leaving town unless you stop wallowing in your self-imposed misery and put an end to this breakup.”

Panic sunk in at the thought of knowing Ruby would leave Seattle. “Have you forgotten that she used me? She doesn't want me. She doesn't love me.” Saying the words stung.

“Ah, for Christ’s sake, you have got to be kidding me! You know damn well that she loves you.” Gage placed cash for the tip on the table as new drinks arrived. “Let me tell you something about Ruby. She loves you, she's hurting, and she's scared. She's also unsure what to do and won't make the first move.”

“I'm not so sure that it's as simple as that. She's not part of our lifestyle, and she's here for a damn book deal.”

Gage shook his head. “I don't agree. She messed up. No doubt about that. But she gave you everything. She committed to you and everything you believe in. But let's face it, man. You aren't doing a real good job at fighting for her.”

Evan looked down at his beer for a few moments before answering, “I guess you're right. I really fucked things up.”

“You have to fight for what you want. You have to make her know that you will never just
let
her walk away. She needs to know you will always fight for the relationship.” Gage shrugged. “That's my advice at least, for what it's worth.”

Evan nodded as he contemplated what Gage told him.

“If you love her like you say you do, then you better get over there and convince her that you two are solid,” Gage added.

“I do love her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

“Wanted or want?” Gage raised an eyebrow in question.

Evan smirked back. “Want. I definitely
want
to spend the rest of my life with her. But then, I'm not sure if I can ever trust her again. I'm still so fucking pissed!”

Gage tilted his glass towards Evan's and replied, “Well, I guess you better work through those feelings. She's worth it, dude.”

Evan frowned, sitting up straighter, intently trying not to act bothered. Evan should have known that to think being in the same room with Ruby wouldn’t bother him was dumb. Pain stabbed at his heart.

Switching his attention to the bar, Evan's frown increased as he watched her frantically make drinks for the crowd. She seemed more frazzled than normal. No doubt she knew Evan was in the club.

Ruby turned around enough so Evan could see her, the ends of her perfectly shaped mouth curled upward, and Evan felt like a steam engine had slammed straight into his gut. His gaze trailed over her heart-shaped face, her satin-smooth and rich honey-colored skin, her doe-shaped eyes before settling back on her mouth. Lush, now only one corner curled up, lending her an innocent yet somehow slightly wicked look. It was the same mouth, the same look that had haunted his memories for the past few days. He missed her so much. No matter how hard Evan tried, he'd never be able to get her out of his mind.

Chapter 19

Evan was in the club.

Ruby closed her eyes briefly, her heartbeat ricocheting a staccato beat against her chest. It felt more powerful than the base of the speakers only a few feet away. Tears burned the back of her eyes as she tried not to stare at the one man, and the only person, she'd ever loved.

The same man who wanted nothing to do with her.

Ruby tried to swallow down the instant swell of emotions as she finished her shift. She was done for the night. In the past, she would have walked over to Evan and spent the rest of the night with him. But things had changed.

“You don’t have a shot with him anymore. So you might as well leave.” Ruby jumped at the venomous voice behind her. She turned around to see Maxine standing with her hands on her hips. She had rage in her eyes and looked like she planned to pounce. She was obviously high on something as well.

“I’m not in the mood, Maxine. Leave me alone.”

“You’re not welcome here. You intended on using Evan from the very beginning, didn’t you? You’re nothing but a lying slut,” Maxine spat.

“This is none of your business.” Ruby took a deep breath to calm her temper. She tried to see the situation through Maxine’s eyes. To Maxine, and everyone else, Ruby was the villain.

“Listen, I didn’t mean to hurt Evan.”

Maxine shoved her finger into Ruby’s chest. “You are nothing but a dirty whore. You can’t give Evan what he wants and what he needs.”

Her comment stung. Ruby no longer could contain her anger. Ruby looked her straight in the eye. “No Maxine,
you
are the whore.
You
will do anything, and I mean anything, for fame. You are nothing but a dirty, used-up woman who will never find happiness.”

“You fucking bitch!” Maxine screamed.

Maxine charged at her and grabbed a chunk of her hair and rammed Ruby’s head against the wall. Ruby saw stars and her vision blurred, but she didn’t feel any real pain. Ruby was in shock at the attack. Maxine continued her assault by attempting to hit and punch Ruby’s face. For the most part, Ruby did a good job blocking her flaying hands. Everything happened so fast, and Ruby was still stunned from having her head bashed against the wall; she wasn’t really sure what happened around her. Ruby realized she needed to fight back. It wasn’t her style, but she had no choice.

Ruby reached for the back of Maxine’s hair and grabbed an entire fistful. She yanked Maxine’s head back as far as it could go without snapping her neck. “Listen, you fucked up whack job,” Ruby yanked her hair even harder. “You stay away from me. If I see you even glance my direction, I will beat you to a fucking pulp. Are we clear?” Ruby yanked Maxine’s head, causing Maxine to release a scream of shock mixed with pain.

Maxine’s scream caught everyone’s attention nearby. All eyes nearby now cast in their direction. Ruby’s eyes glanced over to where Evan sat. She felt instantly grateful the loud club music concealed what was going on. Evan had no idea what was happening. Ruby released Maxine’s hair and returned her glare.

Maxine reached for her head and tried to rub out the sting. “I can’t believe you just did that, you cunt!”

Ruby’s rage exploded. “What was that? What did you just call me?” She got right into Maxine’s face, challenging her to say it again.

Ruby quickly glanced in the security guard’s direction. He was approaching the crowd, getting ready to break up the fight. He surprised Ruby when he gave her a small nod of approval, letting Ruby know he was on her side and backing her decision.

Maxine leaned in and spat, “I called you by what you are. Cunt. You cunt!”

Ruby pulled her arm back, and, with as much force as she could muster, she brought her closed fist to the side of Maxine’s face. The punch caused Maxine to stumble back against the wall behind her.

Ruby ignored the shooting pain working its way through her hand. “When you start something with me, Maxine, you better damn sure be prepared to finish it.”

Ruby then grabbed Maxine’s hair once again and rammed her head into the wall she was up against. “You stay away from me.”