Ruby Redfort Take Your Last Breath (36 page)

“That was you?” said Ruby. “You’re the one who rescues me in my dream, my dream that’s not a dream?”

He nodded again. “I was sitting on the deck with your parents. You fell into the ocean, on purpose I think; the sea called to you. Your mother had a broken arm, and your father had dislocated his shoulder, but he went to save you anyway, and got caught somehow in the anchor chain. So I dived in and there I saw this incredible cephalopod, this octopus bigger than any octopus I had seen in all my long days, what they call the Sea Whisperer. It had grabbed you. I fought it and to my amazement it let you go. Why, I don’t know. It was a magnificent creature, and one I never expected to see a second time, let alone a third.”

“But why did my mom and dad never tell me?” Ruby found it hard to believe that anyone could keep such a story from her.

“I never told your parents about the Sea Whisperer. It was enough, for them, the terror of their daughter so close to drowning in their beloved ocean. I didn’t want to mention a sea monster on top of that.” He shrugged. “So I never breathed a word.”

All those dreams,
thought Ruby.
Not dreams at all.

Clancy looked at them both. He was excited, his whole face bright. “But this is great,” he said to Francesco Fornetti, his arms flapping. “The octopus is real, and you can prove it! You can tell everyone. Now they’ll see that you’re not a nutcase after all. I mean, not a complete crazy.”

“No, no,” said Francesco, holding up a weathered hand. “That must remain a secret barely even whispered among friends. A creature from the ancient deep deserves to be left in peace. It’s enough I saw her again.” He looked at Ruby. “That
you
saw her again.” He clearly meant what he said, and there was no point arguing. The Sea Whisperer was a secret that should be held tightly.

And so Ruby just nodded.

WHILE HITCH RETURNED KEKOA
to her hospital bed, and Francesco Fornetti went back to his boat to rest and dream, Clancy and Ruby returned to Cedarwood Drive. It was around midday by now, and they were hoping to sneak back into the house unnoticed so they could scrub the blue from Ruby’s skin and hide out until the truth serum wore off. Clancy thought this might be a good idea, or things could get very complicated; this was not the time for straight answers.

Regrettably, though, this is not what happened. They were halfway up the eucalyptus when they heard a voice shout, “Ruby, Clancy, what are you doing out of school?”

Clancy and Ruby looked down at the three faces looking up. The Redforts were standing there, drinks in hand, and behind them Mrs. Digby was holding a tray of exotic-looking nibbles. Sabina was shielding her eyes from the sun.

“Get down here right now,” she ordered.

Reluctantly, they climbed back down.

Sabina had her hands on her hips and was launching into what would have been a rather long rant.

“Look at your wet suit — it’s in absolute tatters. Can’t you take care of anything? Is that the one your father and I . . . why are you wearing a wetsuit? Why are . . .” She stopped midsentence, for she had noticed something very strange: Ruby was not looking the right color.

Brant spilled his drink down his shirt front, and Mrs. Digby said a word considered unsuitable for polite company.

Clancy was right: it
was
going to be tricky to explain the blue to Ruby’s folks. Her face was indigo-colored and so were her hands, her arms, and her legs.

“Heavens, child!” scolded Mrs. Digby. “What in tarnation have you been doing? You look like a giant blueberry.”

“It’s octopus ink,” said Ruby.

“What?” said her father.

Clancy kicked her hard on the shin.

“I got pulled under by this giant cephalopod,” said Ruby. “It nearly strangled me to death, but then I got rescued by Francesco Fornetti, and Clance and me climbed into a barrel and —”

“Rube!” said Clancy firmly. “I’m sorry, Mr. Redfort. I think the sun got to her.”

“Call Dr. Makeland,” said Sabina.

“But what were you doing?” asked her father.

“Looking for the Fairbank rubies,” said Ruby merrily. “The Count tried to kill me with jellyfish, but you know what? I found them anyway, and then he tried to kill me with an octopus.”

“The child’s raving,” said Mrs. Digby.

“No, better call Dr. Grenveld,” said Sabina. “She’s good with heads.”

Ruby reached into the small dive bag that was attached to her dive belt and pulled out the most exquisite rubies that Sabina or indeed anyone there had ever seen.

“The child has robbed Keller’s jeweler’s!” squealed Mrs. Digby.

“Well, I’ll be darned,” said Brant.

“Oh, my!” said Sabina. “However did you come by those?”

Clancy held his breath.

“Like I said,” replied Ruby. “I found them!”

IT WAS TUESDAY,
and Ruby was looking forward to an evening watching
Crazy Cops
and stuffing popcorn into her mouth. Her folks were going out to a cocktail party, and Mrs. Digby was joining her fellow poker players in East Twinford; Hitch, who had come up with a plausible explanation for the recent wild events, was in his apartment listening to music. Dr. Grenveld had ordered that Ruby be kept at home for a few days just to make sure that the sunstroke had not caused any lasting damage, and so here she was home alone on a Tuesday night.

She scratched the husky behind the ears. “I guess it’s just you and me, Bug old friend.” Just what she needed, a bit of downtime.

As soon as everyone had left the house, Ruby padded over to the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of banana milk, piled a plate high with cookies, and set the popcorn popper popping. The telephone in the kitchen rang.

“Twinford lost property department, how may we assist you?”

“What?” came the reply. Ruby recognized Mrs. Lemon’s panicky voice. Mrs. Lemon was a very panicky sort of person.

“Oh, hi, Elaine. It’s Ruby.”

“Is your mother in?” she asked.

“Uh-uh,” said Ruby.

“Your father then?” Elaine Lemon’s voice rose slightly.

“Uh-uh,” said Ruby.

“Mrs. Digby, she must be there?” Elaine was sounding like she had swallowed helium.

“Gone to poker,” said Ruby, munching on a cookie.

“But you’re there?” said Elaine.

“I guess I am,” said Ruby.

Ruby failed to recognize the relief in Mrs. Lemon’s voice and didn’t register what was coming.

“Is your skin OK these days?” Mrs. Lemon asked.

“Fine, Elaine. Thanks for inquiring.” Ruby had forgotten about her earlier lie, and in doing so had forgotten one of her rules:
RULE 32: TELL ONE LIE AND GET READY TO TELL A WHOLE LOT MORE.

“Thank goodness,” said Mrs. Lemon. “I need you to take care of Archie. I’ve got this emergency thing.”

“Ah, the thing is, Elaine . . . I mean, I’m not so great with babies. I’m not really qualified, you know — not for the whole baby thing.”

“Oh, you don’t need to be! You babysit other kids, right?”

“Yeah, but not actual babies. I mean I don’t really get them, and they don’t get me.” Ruby was floundering.

“Oh, you’ll love Archie — he’s a dear, no trouble at all. And it
is
an emergency.”

“An emergency? A real emergency?” asked Ruby.

“Oh, yes. It’s an emergency all right.”

“Darn it!”
hissed Ruby under her breath. What could she do? “OK, I guess, if it’s an emergency.”

Elaine Lemon was standing on the front doorstep approximately two and a half minutes later.

“So what’s the deal?” said Ruby as Archie was bundled toward her.

“Bethany Mule is having a swimwear sale and I didn’t want to miss it.”

“That’s it?” said Ruby. “That’s the whole big emergency?”

But before there was a chance for Ruby to deposit Archie back in his mother’s arms, Elaine Lemon was running down the steps, jumping into her car, and backing out of the drive.

“Oh, brother!” cursed Ruby.

She called Clancy, but he said he couldn’t make it; his dad was expecting his family to be all present and correct at some ambassadorial party. Del was at a basketball game, Mouse was with her cousins, Red had twisted her ankle and couldn’t even hobble, and Elliot was not answering the phone. She called down to Hitch, but his reply came back, “You’re on your own, kid.”

Oh well, how hard can babysitting a baby be?
thought Ruby.

She switched on the TV and Archie smiled. He waved his arms as the theme tune to
Crazy Cops
played.
No sweat,
thought Ruby.

Detective Despo walked into the frame and Archie started to howl.

Ruby ignored him.

Detective Despo was running down an alley pursuing a suspect.

Archie howled like he was fit to burst.

Detective Despo froze, the muzzle of a gun pressed to the back of his head.

Archie puked.

Turned out babysitting a baby was
hard
.

The green light on the rescue watch flashed and bleeped. Archie howled louder.

Ruby pressed the receive button on the watch.

“Redfort?” came a gravelly voice.

It was LB.

Ruby paused: she was going to have to tell a lie, a white lie, because of course the Count had told Clancy, not her, and this was not a time for telling the truth.

“Yes,” she said.

LB was quiet for a moment, and then she seemed to register Archie’s howling and said, “Redfort, put that baby on the phone.”

Ruby held the receiver to Archie’s ear, and in a matter of seconds the baby stopped howling and peace was restored to the Redfort home.

Ruby took the phone. “What did you say to him?”

“Something I learned in Girl Scouts,” said LB. “Too bad you never joined.”