Royce (63 page)

“So you all knew about us?”  They all nodded,
unbelievable
, he thought. “Yeah, we saw you in the paper playing football and baseball,” he laughed, “I was terrible,” and they laughed too because he really was, but he made the paper anyway with his runs at bat, a few home runs or steals, or how many yards he ran, “I was into ranching and rodeoing mostly.” “Oh we know daddy loved to tell us about you off somewhere, Colorado, Ft. Worth, Oklahoma, you were always somewhere and that you were going to run the ranch one day,” and he heard them talk about him as if he were part of the family.  “Well Thomas played basketball, he won a scholarship to SMU,” and they talked openly and jovially about Thomas and his basketball exploits and he felt proud of him. “We use pile up in two cars and drive down to see him play,” and he looked fondly at them.  They were beautiful, proud and this is what his father was hiding, and wanted him to do the same, wanted him to live like this. 

To keep Joy, Justin, Christopher and Autumn in secret, to deny them, to not marry Joy, to not give them his name, to keep them hidden from the world. 
Why?  When he thought they were so beautiful?  Why hide them?
  He sat and talked and a couple times someone would stop and stare at him and he knew it was because they saw his father, saw his father in him, and he laughed with them at funny stories, and the conversation was lively when it came to politics, especially about the last presidential election in November and events happening locally and finally it was time to go.  He wanted nothing more than to see Joy, she was his anchor, his soul and the love he wanted the world to know he had.  She had been his answer to life and he’d never hide her, never hide her from anyone.

He’d been so proud to marry her and their wedding day, the day he proudly gave her his name was one of the most beautiful, endearing and special moments of his life, it was the day he found Royce.

He went to the airport and booked a flight to Philadelphia, he had a connection in Washington D.C., but that was okay, he’d get there in a few hours.  He sat in the waiting area and called Joy, “Hey babe.”

“Hey what’s up, I miss you,” and he smiled, no he thought, he’d never hide her. “I missed you too baby that’s why I’m heading home.  I’m at the airport, I should be in around ten, can you pick me up?”  She agreed. “Hey I’ve got something to tell you that will blow your mind,”

“What tell me?” 

“I can’t over the phone, but just wait okay.”

“Okay”

“Hey I hope you like living in Dallas cause that’s where we’re moving.  Bobby needs me babe, needs me at the firm.”

“I know you’re not asking me that, after all the moving and living we’ve done,” she said teasingly, “I can lay my head anywhere as long as you’re there.”

“Oh baby I love you, I love you more than anything,” he said. “I love you more babe.”

“Oh they’re calling my flight, gotta go!  Remember ten o’clock American Airlines, okay,” they hung up and he went and boarded with the other first class passengers.

It was after he was boarded and in his seat and the plane was high in the sky when he really let his mind wander on his father. 
He was a racist hypocrite
, he thought,
he tried to murder my family for the very thing he was doing. 
He felt his eyes tearing up, he wiped them, and he remembered the conversations he’d had with his father, “You didn’t have to marry her?”  “She’s a negra Royce,” and now he realized those conversations were more serious than he’d thought, and his tears flowed.  The flight attendant came by and saw him, “Are you alright sir?” 

“Yes, just got some bad news,” he tried to smile, but he kept wiping his eyes and she brought him a box of tissues. 
For our name dad, really you tried to kill my family to preserve our name?
  And his tears flowed, that seemed so trivial, that a word was more important to his father than the real flesh and blood lives of his family, and the tears flowed and it helped to get it out and by the time he landed in Philadelphia and hopped in the car with Joy he felt lighter.  Not over what he’d found out but at least able to move forward and he was happy to be alive.  Happy his father hadn’t won, happy to see Joy, and happy he was able to be with his family.

Joy picked him up bursting with anticipation, “Okay I came by myself so you could tell me this mind blowing secret.” 

“Oh couldn’t wait could you?”

“I’ve waited since you called, so spill it.”

He laughed. “Okay, okay, my father had a black mistress and has been with her since before I was born and they have seven children together.  One born ten days after me, is that not mind blowing?” 

Joy hadn’t driven off yet and sat there stunned her mouth agape, “You have got to be kidding me, he had what?  Uh uh, no that is not true!”  She said in disbelief. “Yep, and seven kids Joy, seven kids, I met her and four of the kids.  Well they’re adults now, but yeah,” she pulled off now and looked at him stunned, “You met them?”  She said shocked, and as she drove he told her about how he happened upon Holly Ann at his father’s grave and meeting Hennie, and talking to her.

“They’re great Joy, I can’t wait for you to meet them,” she kept looking at him in shock.  “Keep your eyes on the road babe you’re scaring me,” she laughed, “I just can’t believe this story.” “I know it blows my mind, but they’re wonderful great people and I’d love for you and the kids to meet them, after all they are my brothers and sisters,” he said laughing. “Wow Royce, this is unbelievable.” “And oh I had dinner with them and you wouldn’t believe how good the food was, you’d love it!”  And Joy was flabbergasted, “So your father was with this woman until he died?”  “Well they had a falling out about eight or nine years ago.  He said something that she said broke her heart.  I can’t imagine what it was, but knowing my father and what he did to us I have to assume it was horrific,” and he would never tell her his father had tried to kill them all to preserve their precious Harrington name.  That his father would rather see them dead than carry his name and he knew that was unlike him. 

He wanted nothing more, that was the first thing he’d done with Justin and he’d do it all over again too.  They were his blood, his seed, and they deserved his name, and he knew he loved his children, loved them enough to give them his name and he was proud to do it.  He was proud to be a Harrington, he loved being a Harrington and all that implied and he was equally proud to past that on to his family. 
That’s the difference between you and me father.  I’m doing right by my family, I chose this woman and she chose me and there is no shame in that.  None!
   He looked over and smiled at Joy, she smiled back and she was beautiful.

“And how was your mother and everyone?”  “I don’t know really, I couldn’t Joy, I couldn’t see them just yet.  I wasn’t ready and I don’t think she was ready to hear what I had to say either, so I need to think a little bit before I see them, and oh get this…Tammy is staying with her,” he said looking at Joy to see her reaction.

“No!”  She said shocked, “Why would she allow that?”  He shrugged, “Your guess is as good as mine, she acts as if Tammy is her child and not me, but she said Karen asked her, and she expected me to be okay in the same room with her.  I couldn’t fathom it and that’s why I couldn’t see her, I couldn’t pretend to be okay with her being there,” and he felt the bitter taste in his mouth.  He would hate Tammy for as long as he lived and he’d never forgive his father.

And that night when they were safely in bed he pulled her to him and kissed her and Joy could see his kiss was going further, “No Royce, you know I feel funny doing it in my parent’s house,” she hadn’t let him have her since they’d come here. “They’re right next door,” and he’d let it go, it was kind of disturbing to him too, but tonight, “I missed you baby and we’ll be quiet okay, but you gotta let me have you,” he looked deep into her eyes.  She gave him her questioning look like she was mulling it over and he didn’t wait for a response.  He wanted her and he kissed her and sucked and played with her lips to bring her along.

“Ahh,” she moaned.  “Shhh,” he whispered and she smiled as he kissed her, and then he went down her throat and moved her nightgown strap off her shoulder until he exposed her breast.  Joy’s breast had marveled him, they seemed to have gotten fuller over the years.  She said it was because she’d gained weight and he didn’t see it, but her breast were nice and full, he sucked her, sucked her long. “Oh baby, oh Royce,” she moaned softly and he moved the other strap down and kept going until her nightgown was off.  He’d come to bed naked, ready and wanting and his strong hands stroked and caressed her body, loving the feel of her. 

Joy heard him breathing hard, like he wanted her so bad.  Royce worked his way down her body touching and caressing her soft golden skin and admiring the woman she was, he came to her waxed mound.  She’d always kept that up except in South Africa where she let it grow in its natural state and when it got to bushy she’d trim it down low.  He licked around her baldness and took a whiff of her womanly scent and recognized his Joy. “Oh baby, I love you,” he spread her folds and his tongue found her little knob and he worked it, she cried out. “Shhh, shhh baby,” he teasingly whispered and he saw her smile, and he licked her and worked her with his tongue and she moved with him, moved her body, and a couple of times he whispered, “Shhhh, shhh,” and she’d quiet down and then he felt her body tremble and he knew she was coming.  Royce loved to make her come, and he smiled, and he felt her hands in his hair.  She ran her fingers through his dark tresses as she moaned and he knew what was coming, she moaned and let go and released his hair and let her body feel the pleasure and when she wound down he moved up her beautiful body, sucking her dark nipples as he went, caressing her fullness and he went up to her mouth and kissed those lips and she drew his mouth into hers and kissed him so passionately, he moaned and watched her. 

They’d always kept the light on when they made love, and tonight while she closed her eyes he watched her.  Watched her mouth, watched her take her pleasure, watched her body as it responded, and now he was on top of her looking at her.  Her eyes were closed and he pulled her legs up and back.  He knew this wasn’t a favorite position of hers.  Joy was built small down there, and this way always felt too deep for her, but that’s where he wanted to be deep inside her, so when he did it this way he had to be very careful not to hurt her. 

She opened her eyes when she felt him push her legs back, and she saw the love in his eyes, “I won’t hurt you,” he said softly and Royce pushed inside her and she closed her eyes to feel him.  He moved slowly, deeply, even though she didn’t like this position when he did it right she came all over him in a river of hot warm love.  He was deep and moving his hips softly but so deep inside her.  “Oooo baby,” she moaned and he never stopped watching her, and her face showed the pleasure. “Does that feel good baby?”, he asked and Joy opened her eyes and looked at him. 

The way he asked she could tell it was important to him that he pleased her, that it feel good, and when she opened her eyes she saw him looking down at her, his blue eyes sparkling.  She saw the twinkle and he had that little smile and she smiled big and her heart soared.  Royce was back, the Royce from the day of their wedding, on the portrait, the Royce she’d seen only sporadically the last few years, the Royce that was complete and whole. 

“Yes baby that feels so good,” she said softly and she didn’t close her eyes she looked at him with love and softness the look he loved to see and he thought,
yep, Louie, that’s who I am and I love my brown sugar,
and then the passion swept them up and he let go of her legs and held her tight in his arms, and kissed her against her ear and whispered over and over, “I love you Joy Harrington, I love you Joy Harrington,” and then they were lost to the rhythm of their love and cried out their passion and came together in a loud, “Ahhh,” as they released together.

The next week the family flew to Dallas and when they pulled up to their old house they couldn’t believe how well Bobby had kept it, the yard was immaculate and they walked into a clean house with everything just the way they’d left it.  The only sign no one lived there the furniture was covered in sheets.  “Wow, look at this babe, it’s like we just left yesterday and not ten years,” Joy said after they walked the house and Royce headed straight for the living room and he stared up at the portrait. 

He remembered taking that picture like it was yesterday, Mariah Carey belting out “I want to know what love is, I want you to show me!”  And he was looking at Joy thinking,
I know what love is.  This woman right here, how I feel about her that’s what love is. 
Mr. Caruthers was straightening her train and he was standing beside her, and Mariah Carey singing her heart out asking that question and he felt he had the answer,
I know what love is, I know what love is, I know what love is,
and Mr. Caruthers said, “Smile,” and snapped the picture. 

And after walking the house Joy felt herself getting emotional.  She didn’t realize how much she wanted to stay in one place, being home she realized she’d missed so much.  She missed her mother and father growing older, she missed Lanie getting married and having children, she missed Sylvie expanding her business, and she missed seeing her family on Thanksgiving and Christmas and countless birthdays and family get-togethers and she missed home.  She missed having a home she could build memories.  She wanted a home she wouldn’t have to leave at a moment’s notice and now it was hitting her.  What if they couldn’t do that, what if someone came after them and she started to cry.