Rowena Through the Wall: Expanded Edition (29 page)

The wooden chess set.

I smiled sadly. Thane would have something to remember me by. Would I ever see him again?

Much later, Cedric entered the room.

I was in bed, but s
till awake.

"Your grandfather says I'm an unspeakable fiend if I force you to have sex with me the very night of your husband's death." He sat down on the mattress. "There's a certain amount of truth to that, since I was the one who killed him."

This was n
ew―Cedric acting rational.

I fought for control as an invisible power overtook me.

"I am grateful for that," I said.

Were those my words, my voice? The draw to him was almost unbearable now. A spell?

His eyes lit up."You didn't love Sargon."

"I hated him i
n the end. I feel like you've released me from prison. Can you imagine what it is like to have to submit to someone you hate?"

"Did he know that?"

"I'm sure he didn't. I covered it well."

"Because if
I
found out after all our lovemaking that you hated me, I would kill you."

Panic seared my throat. "Why? I don't understand."

"It's the betrayal. I give my love and you
pretend
to, and all the time you're despising me. It doesn't bear thinking about."

"Then don't."

I turned to the wall, hiding the fear on my face. Cedric pulled his tunic over his head and slid into bed. I could feel his eyes on my back.

"No," he murmured, "I think not tonight. Instead, we will wait until after the ceremony."

I was so relieved I nearly wept.

Chapter 29

I was getting married today. Again.

"You know, you might want to rethink this whole marriage thing," I said to Cedric when we were getting dressed. "I'm rather hard on husbands, in case you hadn't noticed."

He raised an eyebrow.

"They don't last long," I reminded him. "Remember? It might not be in your best interests."

Amused, he chuckled. "I have protections that even you can't sabotage."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that."

I'd been doing pretty well without even trying. One husband was dead; the other was as good as dead. Pretty scary for less than a month.

Two of Cedric's men had to go south for the priest, so the wedding was set for early evening. There was to be a small dinner after.

It was already noon when I made my way to Kendra's room. She was sitting by the window, brooding.

"What's wrong?" I said, plopping down on the bed.

"I don't know what's up with Richard." Frustration oozed from her. "He wouldn't come into the room last night. He wouldn't say a thing. He stood at the door, went all red and then left. When I got up this morning, I found him sleeping on the floor in the hall, lying up against the door."

I held back a laugh. "I expect he has some issues of loyalty to deal with internally."

She started pacing. "Maybe I got it wrong, but I thought Richard was supposed to be m
y protector, which means―well, you know. Doesn't he want to?"

A laugh escaped. "I'm sure he wants to very much, Kendra. That's why he's always blushing. But Logan is―or was―his friend. He doesn't know what to do the fact that you were Logan's girl."

We qui
etly mused about the men of this world.

"Do you miss Logan?" I asked.

"Yes! Of course I do. But I get this thing about families. You're my family, so I need to be here when there is trouble. I can't stay with Logan. We're not married."

"Do you love him?"

"I sure like him a lot. I mean, we had lots of fun together. He's a very physical guy. Maybe that's some of the problem. He's
all
physical." She sighed. "I may not look like an intellectual, but I am in the university taking some pretty demanding courses. And Logan? Well, he's more the apprenticeship type―if you get my drift."

I nodded. "You need someone to challenge you intellectually."

"Or at least be interested in something beyond weapons. I don't know. Maybe it was a good thing we never got to talking ab
out marriage. I can't imagine people get divorced around here."

"No, that's pretty much not allowed. They kind of kill you for that." It was my turn to sigh. "Which reminds me…I'm getting married this evening. Again. Third time."

She groaned. "So soon?"

"Afraid so. Not that I have much choice about it."

"How do you feel about it?"

"Confused. Frustrated. Resigned. I hated this lack of personal freedom. I hate losing control of my own destiny." I gritted my teeth. Cedric takes it from me, as Sargon did, without a thought. On the other hand, he's kind to me, which is the most important thing right now. And he's awfully attentive."

"I'm getting the feeling that's important to you."

"Never thought it was. I mean, with Steve things were okay but rather ho-hum. I always got the idea he'd rather show me off than keep me to himself. Cedric makes it clear he can't keep his hands off me. It's sort of like he's been saving up for a decade, waiting for me to be his."

Kendra gave me a sad smile. "Wish I had that problem."

"Let me remind you that you are still only eighteen, missy, and a little young to be pining over lusty men."

"Nineteen next month."

"I turned twenty-five last month," I said.

What a nice day that had been. Dad had been in town and took me out for dinner at the Biltmore. I had lobster and the most wonderful dark-chocolate soufflé for dessert.

Oh crikey, I thought.
Dad.

"Kendra, can I call Dad again on your cell phone? Mine doesn't seem to work from here."

"Sure. One sec."

She reached into her bag, found her phone and flipped it open.

"That's strange. I can't get any reception."

"Crap. Let me see that."

Sure enough, no bars. Yet, we'd had full reception at Castle Sargon.

"Guess we're out of reach."

Darn. I really wanted to hear Dad's voice.

"Cedric's a smart guy, isn't he?" Kendra said. "He knows I'm not going to leave you, especially now you're tied to him. And Richard will have to be loyal and stay on Cedric's good side by being with me."

"Oh, he's clever all right."

"Do you think you could ever love him?"

"I don't know. I feel something very strong when I am near him and it scares the daylights out of me."

"Why?"

I stared out the window. The green hills of Huel were shadowed by huge cumulous clouds.

"There are aspects to Cedric you don't know about. He has a dark side, and although he's only ever used it to rescue me, I know there must be more to it. I...don't want to get drawn into that again.

"Maybe you'll have a choice, Row."

"Maybe. I doubt it." I felt that chill again. "I don't seem to have much choice when it comes to Cedric."

"Can you look at things in a different way? Like the guy killed the creep, who was beating you up. And he rescued you before from those lecherous bandits. That's got to be a big plus. Besides, you seem to enjoy the physical part wit
h Cedric. Are things really that bad? I mean, you have to be allied with some male guy in this world. It's just the way things are. I take it―from that whole kitchen food fight scene―that Ivan wouldn't be your top choice."

No, I yearned for Thane. I missed
his gentleness.

But Kendra didn't know this, and I wasn't ready to tell her.

"No." I smiled. "Ivan and I fight like brother and sister. And this way, with Cedric, I get to stay with you, Grandfather and my family at Huel. So you're right. Things could be a lot worse."

Kendra patted my arm. "I'll go wherever you are, so don't worry about leaving me behind. You won't. You'll need me when you give birth."

Realization suddenly struck me.

Good God, I was going to have a baby!

I would have it in this primitive world, with no hospitals or doctors. And Cedric was convinced it was
his
.

What if it wasn't? How would he react? What if the baby had black hair and black eyes? Or blond hair and blue eyes? How would he feel if the baby was Gareth's? Or Ivan's?

Or Sargon's…

Of course, this assumed that I survived the birth.

"It does feel like we belong here," Kendra said, gazing out the window. "It's prettier country than Sargonia. Softer somehow. These rolling green hills remind me of Tennessee and Kentucky. I like it." She spun on one heel, facing me. "What are you wearing tonight?"

"Haven't thought about it. Could be a problem. I'm definitely running out of gowns again, and I can't wear the same ones I wore to my last two weddings. That would be creepy."

"Maybe we should go on a closet search through the castle."

"I need to find some bigger dresses. Or figure out a way to let them out."

Already, I was noticing a difference in the fullness of my breasts. My waist would be next. Oh joy.

"You need to learn how to look after your clothes," she chastised.

"I know."

She giggled. "How many dresses have you ruined so far?"

I tallied them. "The green silk, the ivory muslin, the light green, the white and pink…they're toast. The one from the ride yesterday needs some repair to the bodice. Oh, and the gorgeous one with the vest from the mud fight. You weren't here for that."

"Mud fight?"

"Ivan."

"Oh."

Time to change the subject.

"Let's go down to the stables. I'll help you brush up on your vet skills."

We spent the next two hours checking over the horses and meeting the grooms. The head groom here doubled as farrier. He was a huge man of about fifty years old with a jolly sense of humor. His name was Pip.

"Lightning's antsy again." I brushed her, trying to calm her.

"It's the palomino," Pip said. "He's a persistent brute. I'm keeping them well apart."

"There must be something in the air here. Where is he now?"

"The Lord has him out."

It was nearing the time of my wedding. I stood alone at the wardrobe trying to decide what to wear. My options consisted of four dresses. The blue sapphire, which was too heavy for this milder weather, the deep cherry off-the-shoulder, which I couldn't wear as it would display the wound on my shoulder and two dresses I hadn't worn yet. One was a fine ivory linen with gold trim. Not one of my best colors, but it was rather modest and very Grecian.

It would do well for tonight.

The other dress was black silk. It had the same empire waist with fully gathered skirt and scoop neck. At first, I thought it was a sleeveless mourning dress, but it was cut much lower in front. On closer inspection, I realized it wasn't sleeveless at all. Ribbons of fabric draped from the underarm and wrapped around the upper arms.

What an odd style. It almost looked Goth.

For fun, I trie
d it on. You would think it had been cut specially for me. I couldn't help but stare at my reflection in the mirror. Not mourning―oh no, it didn't give
that
affect at all. Far too sexy.

Who was this weird priestess?

The dress had come from the box room at
Castle Sargon. Who had it belonged to? Sargon's mother?

I decided to leave it out to show Kendra. She'd get a kick out of it.

In the meantime, I dressed in the ivory. It made me look…innocent. If that was possible in my condition. I brushed my hair into a high ponytail and secured it with an elastic band. Then I draped a gold headband around my forehead.

Richard came to get me.

"Everyone's convened in the chapel," he said. "Cedric doesn't want to waste time changing. He'll change after the ceremony."

We continued down the corridor to the great staircase. I had to hustle to keep up with him.

"Why the rush?"

"Cedric's men tend to be simple. If you're married to him, then they will follow him without question in your defense. He knows that being without a husba
nd is dangerous for you. Another man could make a claim―or at least a royal could. But no one wants to come between a man and wife who are married before God. The men may be loyal to Cedric, but if you were married to…say,

Thane, now that he will be king,
and Cedric ordered his men to take you back, their loyalty would be conflicted."

I nodded.

"It's a race against time," Richard said.

What the heck did he mean by that?