Round and Round (9 page)

Angus rolled away and lay on his back on the mattress. Where Kevin had felt so close to him a few minutes earlier, it seemed a gulf had suddenly opened up, and he wasn’t sure what to do to bridge it. He found Angus really hot and all, but he didn’t know him that well and wasn’t sure what to say.

“Some people are lucky in that way, but I’m not,” Angus said.

“How do you know?” Kevin decided he wasn’t going to let this go. So he climbed on top of Angus with a grin and wriggled his hips against his. “Have you met everyone? Or taken some sort of poll?” He giggled softly when Angus huffed. “I got it. You’re psychic and know everything before it’s going to happen. If that’s true, then I want to know the Powerball numbers so I can buy a ticket.”

“You’re being silly.”

“So are you,” Kevin retorted. “I don’t know who left you, but not everyone does that.”

“How can you say that? Your mom left you.”

Angus’s words stung, and for a second he pulled into himself. Kevin glared at him and then smacked him on the shoulder. “Don’t be an ass. It’s not cute or funny. If you wanted to be a real dick, you succeeded. But you didn’t hurt me, if that’s what you were trying to do. I’m an adult now, and I can choose how I want to feel and what I’m going to react to.” Kevin moved closer, glaring at Angus. “Maybe it’s time I go home. I thought you were a good guy, but I can see now that you’re just an ass. I certainly don’t need any more assholes in my life. There have been more than enough.” Kevin rolled off Angus and got off the bed, searching around on the floor for his clothes.

“I…,” Angus started.

“You what? Have some explanation of childhood trauma to explain why you were a jerk?” Kevin shook his head. “Just save it.”

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

Kevin found his underwear and pulled them on. “No, you shouldn’t. I trusted you with something difficult that happened to me, and you threw it back in my face.” He turned and stepped back to where Angus sat naked on the side of the bed. He picked up his pants and fished in his pocket, coming up with a quarter. He handed it to Angus. “Use this to call someone who can teach you some manners.” He pulled on his jeans and had just fastened them when Angus touched his shoulder.

“Sometimes I don’t know when to keep quiet.”

“Bullshit. I was treading into territory you didn’t want to go, and instead of saying you didn’t want to talk about it, you lashed out hurtfully, and I won’t stand for that crap. But I have news for you. My mom left when I was a kid, and she never got to know me. But that’s her loss, not mine. I’m an amazing person, and she’s the one who lost out on knowing me. I can deal with that—in fact I did a long time ago. So whatever it is that’s bothering you, figure out how to deal with it or whatever it is will dog you for the rest of your life.” Kevin turned away and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head before yanking on his socks and stepping into his shoes. Then he marched to the bedroom door, refusing to turn around. “I’ll see you around. And don’t bother giving me a ride home. I’ll call a friend.” He pulled open the bedroom door and hurried out into the hall, closing the door behind him with more force than was necessary. Then he hurried down the stairs and out of the house. He pulled out his phone and pressed a number.

“Zach, can you please pick me up?”

“Where are you?” Zach asked right away.

“Shipoke.” He kept his voice as steady as he could even though he was quickly alternating between anger and hurt.

“I take it your date didn’t go well.”

“Prince Charming turned out to be a frog with huge warts,” he answered. He turned around when he heard the door open behind him. Angus strode toward him, and Kevin stared daggers at him. “He’s coming this way.”

“Do you want me to call the police? I can have them there in a few minutes.”

“No,” he said when Angus stopped a few feet away. “I’ll call you back.”

“Fine, but if I don’t hear from you in five minutes, I’m going to call in the cavalry and everyone is going to descend on him.”

Kevin agreed and then hung up. “You have exactly five minutes,” he said as he glared at Angus, slipping his phone into his pocket.

“Five minutes for what?”

“To properly apologize and stop acting like a complete fucking pain in the ass.” He put his hands on his hips. “I’m waiting.”

Angus broke eye contact. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just that the subject is closer to an open wound than I want to admit.” He raised his gaze from the sidewalk. “I’d like to think I’m over what happened, but every time anyone gets close to it, I lash out.”

“You know that isn’t an excuse for hurting me… or trying to hurt me. See, in order to truly get to me, you have to be someone I’m willing to care about, and as of this moment, the jury is out on that. Right now I can take or leave you. Sure, you’re hot and all, but if you can’t treat me right, you can hit the road.” Kevin’s phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket. “Hi, Zach.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m here with Angus and we’re talking for a moment.”

“Do you need a ride home? I can be there in a few minutes, we can kick his ass, and you can come here. We’ll have ice cream and watch old crappy movies, and you can roast this Angus guy on a spit.”

Kevin tried not to smile, but he couldn’t help it. He knew his friends would be there for him. They always were.

“My friend Zach wants to know if I need a ride home,” Kevin told Angus. “He’s offering ice cream and a chance for the two of us to discuss all your character flaws.” He was starting to have fun with this, especially as Angus got more and more nervous.

“I have ice cream, and we can talk about all my character flaws all you want. I’m sure I have more than a few.”

“Did you hear that?” Kevin asked Zach. He heard him laughing on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah. And if you ask me, I think you better keep him. I’ve been trying to get Bull to debate his character flaws for years, but he always distracts me with sex and then I forget all about them.” He continued laughing. “Go ahead and talk things out, but call me if you need me.” Zach hung up, and Kevin put his phone back in his pocket.

“He says I should kick your ass if you ever do that again,” Kevin told Angus, who folded his arms over his chest. “You think I can’t do it?” Kevin mimicked Angus’s stance and expression. “Bull taught all four of us some basic self-defense moves after Tristan was kidnapped last year. And the one lesson I learned very well is that the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

“Geez, I thought you were a sweet, rather quiet guy, but you’re a real badass.”

Kevin knew he was teasing, and he lured Angus onto the grass. He motioned forward with his finger, and Angus smiled, humoring him, Kevin was sure. When Angus came at him, he grabbed his hand, used his body as leverage, and flipped Angus onto his back, leaving him lying on the grass, staring up at the sky. “Do you believe me now?” he asked, leaning over him. “See? I’m a real badass.”

Angus blinked and slowly got to his feet. “I guess so,” he said with much more respect.

“Just because I’m smaller than you doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself or that I’m helpless.” Kevin put his hands on his hips once again, tapping his foot on the grass. “I’m still waiting for my apology.”

Angus got to his feet. “I’m sorry I lashed out at you. It was my own wounds and nothing you did.” He stepped closer and gently touched Kevin’s chin. “I’ll try not to do it again.”

“You better not, because next time I won’t be as nice.”

Angus chuckled and shook his head. “You really are something else.”

“Do you make a habit of being mean to people?” Kevin asked. “I don’t want to be around you if you act like that all the time.”

Angus shook his head and took his hand. “I’m not usually like that.”

Kevin allowed Angus to lead him back into the house. He wasn’t sure he was fully convinced, but he was willing to give him a second chance. “What happened to you? Because you got this ‘everyone leaves’ thing going, and then you pushed me away.”

Angus’s steps faltered for a second, and then he pulled open the front door. “I really hate talking about it.”

“Yeah, I get that, and I won’t press you if you don’t want to talk about it.” Kevin sat on the sofa in Angus’s living room, watching as he left the room and wondering if he was being a complete fool. After that whole ‘lashing out’ thing in the bedroom, it would probably be smarter to walk away and go home. He’d seen abusers before and knew how Tristan had behaved with Eddie. Whatever happened wasn’t Eddie’s fault. Tristan was always to blame and had a million excuses. He wasn’t doing that, but it did make him pause.

When Angus returned, he had two glasses of iced tea and handed Kevin one. “I spent time when I was a child with friends of my parents in York. They already had four kids, and I was the fifth. All of them fought all the time and were nasty to each other. I mean, really nasty.” Angus sat next to him. “It was a very bad time, and I ended up like a tennis ball between family members. Whenever their daughter Mary got mad at her brother Mick, she’d say the meanest things, and then she’d try to get me on her side, and Mick would do the same thing. And I guess I learned to do the same thing just to survive. It was pretty miserable, and I don’t think I’ve acted like that in a long time, but….”

“I pushed a button?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah. One I didn’t really know was there,” Angus said, clearly upset. He put his arm around Kevin, and Kevin leaned against him. The last few hours seemed like a strange dream, and he tried to figure out what he wanted to do. “Should I take you home?”

“I don’t know,” Kevin said. “Things seem strange now. I’m not a baby, and I understand being upset.”

Angus kissed his forehead. “Then I’m going to have to show you I’m not a monster.”

“I don’t think that. And what you said wasn’t untruthful, just a little hurtful. My mother did leave, and it fit your point. But not everyone leaves. You have to believe that or else you’ll push people away.”

“If you say so,” Angus said.

“I do,” Kevin said firmly. “Just give folks a chance.”

Angus sighed. “Most of the guys I’ve been with were fine with keeping things casual and quick.”

“Well, I’m not most guys, and if that’s what you want, then you’re welcome to it. But it’s not what I want.” Kevin reached for the glass of tea and drank some of it. “That’s what you have to decide.” He glanced around. “Now I think we can have some of that ice cream and then talk about those character flaws you mentioned earlier.” Kevin smiled, figuring it was time to try to lighten the mood. “What kind do you have?”

“What? Ice cream?”

“No, character flaws. You need to tell me all about them.”

“Jesus,” Angus groaned and got to his feet, tugging Kevin to his. “I’ve got chocolate and mint chocolate chip.”

“Character flaws? Those are some pretty weird names,” Kevin teased.

“Ice cream,” Angus said, laughing. “Man, you can be really goofy.”

“I’m not the one naming my character flaws after ice cream flavors,” Kevin retorted. “Seriously, I want mint chocolate chip. It’s my favorite. And let me guess, lack of attention span is one of your flaws.”

Angus pulled open the freezer door and got out the carton. He set it on the counter and pulled out spoons and bowls. “You can tell a lot about a man by the kind of ice cream he likes. Vanilla guys are just that: they like things plain, but steady. Men who prefer chocolate want a little more richness but still don’t stray far from the path.” Angus scooped out the ice cream and handed him a bowl and spoon.

“What does mint chocolate chip say?” Kevin asked as he watched Angus get some for himself.

“Intelligent, smart, likes things a little different without going way out there,” Angus told him.

“Okay. How about….” Kevin paused. “Rocky road?”

Angus dropped his spoon in his dish and began to laugh. “I dated a guy once, just once, who liked rocky road. He was adventurous and liked to have sex outdoors, which was fine. Except the idiot didn’t know what poison ivy looked like and picked a shady spot near a beautiful creek. We went at it for a couple hours. He was pretty energetic, but let me tell you, there is nothing more annoying than poison ivy on your ass.”

Kevin giggled and nearly dropped his bowl. “You’re kidding.”

“No. I had to go to the doctor and drop my pants to show him. Then I needed to explain how it got there.”

“Oh God.” Kevin’s giggles picked up again. “What did he do?”

“He gave me a shot and unfortunately it had to be in my ass. So not only did the damn thing itch like hell, but it was sore from the dang shot too. It hurt to sit down for days, and God, work was hell. So there is no more rocky road in this house ever—either ice cream or the men who like it.”

Kevin giggled again and tried to pick up his bowl, but all he could envision was Angus squirming every time he tried to sit down. “Okay. No rocky road. Definitely not. I like your butt.”

“You do, huh?”

“Yeah.” Kevin took a bite of ice cream and stared hard at Angus.

“What?”

“Just imagining you with your butt in the air.”

Angus stopped eating. “Ummm.”

“Have you never bottomed?”

Angus set down his bowl. “I have. I really don’t care for it, though.” He shrugged, and Kevin figured he was trying not to make a big thing about it. But that well of pain was back in Angus’s eyes, and Kevin couldn’t help wondering what had happened to him.

“Well, I like it just fine, especially with you.” There were so many things he was curious about, but Kevin wasn’t going to steer the conversation in those directions if he could help it. Angus had obviously known pain, and if he wasn’t willing to talk about it, that was his business.

“Good,” Angus said with a huge grin, the darkness slipping away from his eyes. “Because I like being with you.”

Kevin ate the last of his ice cream and set the bowl on the counter. “So tell me what you like.”

“Huh?”

“Tell me what you like.” Kevin stepped closer. “Did you like it when I sucked on your big cock, swirling my tongue around the pink head?” He saw Angus swallow. “Or did that not really work for you?”