Rough Road

To #teameddie—I love you guys.

And to Boo and Julio—thank you for the hand-holding, the beta-reading, and the many ways you boosted my confidence through the panic-flailing. Friends like you are everything.

I’m talking to my best friend, Ben, when the blowout happens. It’s so goddamn loud it sounds like a gunshot, and I lose control of the car so fast I’m lucky I don’t take out a bunch of other vehicles as I careen off the road. I make one last attempt to correct, barely miss the construction barricade, and end up in the ditch with the airbag in my face, coughing and sputtering.

“Eddie, what the hell was that? Are you okay?” Ben’s voice is loud and urgent through the speakers.

“I’m pretty sure I crashed my car, and I’m
dying
, darling.” I roll my eyes and gasp for breath, trying to fight back panic with sheer will.

“Where are you? Do you need me to call nine-one-one?”

My car door opens, and a pair of dirty hands pull me back from the airbag and pat my head. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” A low, rumbly voice fills the car. Not Ben’s southeastern drawl, but something more northern, something about the
o
’s is just a little nasal. I blink owlishly into bright-blue eyes below a yellow hard hat. An impossibly pretty, but filthy face. An angel in a fluorescent vest.

“Eddie? Ed!” Ben’s voice.

“Oh my god, Ben, angels wear hard hats like in that sex dream I had that time.” I wrinkle my nose as the odor of a man who works outside—in Florida, in July—hits me like a brick. “And heaven smells funny.”

“Where are you? I’m calling an ambulance.”

“Don’t bother, Ben,” the angel says. “I’ll take care of it.” Without moving his gaze from mine, he says, “Hang up the phone now, Eddie.”

“Yes, sir,” I grunt, reaching for the button on the radio. “I’ll call you later, Ben.” I hang up over Ben’s protests.

I look back at the angel, my heart pounding in my chest. “I’m not hurt.”

“Airbag deployed; you should probably get checked out. I can call an ambulance, or I can drive you over to the medical center in my truck. You’re also acting a little funny.”

“No, lovely, that’s how I
am
.” I draw the last word out long and slow, and I drop a wink on him, jutting my chin just so. Stiff and wobbly, I collect myself from the car and lean against the side of it in the Florida heat, fanning my face with one hand. “Oh my gawd. This heat shouldn’t be legal.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t hit the barricade.” He nods toward the construction area, where a bunch of men in hard hats like his watch us, their expressions somewhere between amused and concerned. Reaching into my car, he pulls out my phone.

“You want me to call an ambulance? Or should I drive you?”

“You
should
get back to work.” I gesture at his coworkers.

“
You
shouldn’t worry about me. You happened to run off the road in the middle of the shift change. Don’t worry, no one’s going to have a problem with me making sure you’re okay.”

I shake my head. “I don’t need a babysitter. I need to call roadside assistance for a tow.”

He inspects my car carefully. “You’re probably going to need a little bodywork in addition to the new tire. My brother does that sort of thing, if they don’t handle it at the dealership.”

“Oooh, there are two of you? Is he gay?”

My angel snorts and starts dialing my phone. He mouths the word
Ambulance
at me, then he explains the situation to the dispatcher, including that I seem alert and aware but possibly disoriented. After he hangs up, he scrolls through my address book until he finds roadside and calls them. “He’ll leave the keys with me. Come over to the barricade and ask for Wish. Yep, I’ll be there.”

“I’m not leaving you my car keys!” I hiss.

“Relax, Eddie. I’m not going to steal your busted up S-Class.” He rolls his eyes. “Maybe before you crashed it, but now?
Pffft
.” He winks, a slow, deliberate mimicry of the wink I’d given him minutes before.

For what may be the first time in my life, I’m actually at a loss for words. He
sassed
me.
He
sassed
me.

“What kind of a name is ‘Wish’?” I grumble, reaching for my phone, but he holds it out of reach, tapping something on the screen. He’d best not be looking at my photos. Except the selfie I took in the mirror at the gym; I don’t mind if he sees that one. I try to remember if there are any dick pics on there. Well, if there are, he’s welcome to look at those too.

“Short for ‘Aloysius.’” He draws the name out, emphasizing the third syllable. He hands me my phone, screen locked.

“Your mama’s a Primus fan? I probably have ties older than you.”

“My family is very Catholic.” He shrugs. “I wasn’t named for Mud.”

“Okay.”

Sirens are ringing in the distance; they must be for me. “You can take my keys.”

“I know.” He smiles. He’s got a gorgeous smile, teeth a little crooked in a totally endearing way. He’s breathtaking, and for a heartbeat, I wish I were twenty years younger. Oh, the trouble I’d have gotten myself into for this one.

When the medics arrive and start checking my vitals, Wish tells them I seem disoriented. I start to argue, but they have me sit on the stretcher in the back anyway. It’s nice and shady, much nicer than standing in the sun, so maybe disoriented isn’t so bad.

“Text me later; let me know you’re okay.” He points to the phone in my hand. “I put my number in your address book.”

I nod, suddenly exhausted. “Thanks for babysitting me.”

He grins, waves, and goes back to work.

I unlock my phone and scroll through my contacts until I find his name, not under Aloysius, but under “Wish.” I study it for a long moment.

Wish “my-brother-isn’t-gay-but-I-am” Carver

Well. Isn’t that lovely?

I text Ben from the hospital. The two of us have spent too many years taking care of each other for me to let him worry.

I’m fine. They’re checking me out to make sure I don’t have any internal injuries or whatever. I’m okay though.

I stare at the edge of the bed, listening to the clock ticking on the wall. A flat-screen by the ceiling has Fox News on mute, closed captioning covering the headlines at the bottom of the screen.
Boring.
I’m so very bored. Stillness does not suit me.

My phone buzzes.

Good. What about hard-hat-wearing angels?

Oh, what about them? No denying the man was hot. The stubble on his face had been dark, but his eyes light blue. Pretty. But . . .

Too young
, I tap out.

I can almost hear Ben laughing when I get the next text.

You say that about all the boys.

I snort. I said it about Ben’s partner, Davis, a time or two, but thank goodness Ben didn’t listen to me.

Seriously. If he’s approaching thirty, it’s from a distance.

A young red-haired nurse comes in, checks my eyes for god-knows-what, then points at the TV on the wall. “Want me to change the channel, sweetie?”

I shake my head. “No thanks, love.” I hold up my phone as it buzzes again. “Nosy matchmaking friends are keeping me plenty entertained.”

She laughs and pats my knee. “All right. You holler if you need anything, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Another text from Ben flashes across my screen.

Do you need a ride?

Oh baby, do I ever. Even though I know it’s not what he meant, I let myself imagine sex with Ben. Not the awkward, too-gentle sex we’d fumbled our way through plenty of times—in over twenty years, we’d tried enough to know for sure we weren’t compatible—but my fantasy sex with Ben. Rougher. Dirtier. A hand pinning me down, a threat of violence. It’s a nice fantasy.

Maybe. I’ll let you know.

Or maybe I’ll text my hard-hat angel. There was an implicit invitation in the way he’d made it clear he was gay. Sure, he’s too young to date, but a hookup wouldn’t be entirely unwelcome.

Ah, fuck it. I scroll to his name in my contacts and call him.

“Hello?” I notice that nasal
o
again, and I mean to ask him about it—later.

“Wish, this is Edward Russell.”

“Who? Oh, Eddie S-Class. Sorry.” He chuckles, a low, easy laugh. “Checking on your car? They picked it up about a half hour after the ambulance left.”

“Oh.”
Right, the car.
“Yes, thanks. That was very nice.”

“So, how are you? Everything check out okay?”

“They’re still checking me out. I’m hospital-bored.”

“Sorry to hear that. I just got home, but it’s pretty boring here too. Want company?”

“You’d come entertain a man you hardly know, because he’s bored at the hospital?”

“Wouldn’t you? Might be fun. Could be a story to tell at parties years from now. Could be a nice thing to do for a guy who’s had a shitty day.”

Would I do the same? I don’t know, but it’s flattering he thinks I’m so selfless.

“Well, come on down, then. I’d love the company.”

“Gimme half an hour. Will they let me bring you food?”

“It’s worth a shot.” I
am
a little hungry.

“You like sandwiches? Not a vegetarian?”

“I do, and I’m not.”

“Great. I’ll see you soon.”

It’s a little more than half an hour when he comes in, bag of sandwiches in hand. Without the hard hat and construction vest, he appears even younger than I remember. Damn.

“Hey. Still bored?” He cracks a smile and hands me the bag. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I got a couple different things.”

“That was sweet of you, Wish.”

“I’m sweet all over, Edward Russell.” The way he leers at me leaves no doubt in my mind the innuendo was intentional. God, to have the body and arrogance of a twenty-five-year-old again.

“How old are you?” I ask, digging in the bag to see what he’s brought. Turkey and avocado on wheat or ham and Swiss on rye. Two sodas in cans. I take the ham and one of the sodas and pass the bag back.

“I’m twenty-four. You?”

I almost choke on the first bite of my sandwich. Gah. Twenty-four. Finally, I swallow. “I just turned forty-four. Last month.”