Rome: A Marked Men Novel (15 page)

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Authors: Jay Crownover

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she’s terrified of letting anyone close enough to break her heart again.”

I shrugged and started to slide out of the booth. “Nothing wrong with reaching for the stars.”

“There is when what’s available is only here in the ground level. I love Rule with everything I have, but

he is far from perfect. Relationships are not tailor-made and people are flawed. You have to work around

that and love the other person anyway. Our flaws are what make us unique, and while Rule might not be

perfect, he is absolutely perfect for me.”

I wrapped an arm around her neck and gave her a quick hug that had her squealing. Something warm

and familiar settled in my chest when I felt her wrap her arms around me in a hug. I missed this and it was

my own stupid fault.

“I missed you, little girl.”

I felt her exhale against my chest and her hug tighten just a fraction. “I missed you, too, Rome. I’m so

glad you’re back.”

I wasn’t a hundred percent back, but for some reason my eyes felt more open, and I had a clearer view

of what I had been missing lately. Shaw was right. I had always been a pretty steady guy, a reliable son, a

steadfast older brother. I was still all those things but now I was other things that weren’t so pretty, were

harder parts to accept. However, the people in my life that loved me would always love me even if they had

to do it in a different way now, and that made me a lucky guy. I needed to stop taking things like that for

granted and, just like Cora said, stop feeling guilty for being one of the lucky ones.

CHAPTER 7

Cora

It had been a week since I let my inner slut out. A solid week that I hadn’t thought of Jimmy and the

upcoming wedding one single time, let alone done any Facebook stalking. It had also been a week that I

walked on eggshells waiting for the Terrible Trio to lay into me, to grill me about the overnight visit with

big brother, but it never came. Apparently the idea that Rome and I could be anything but mortal enemies

was laughable, and aside from the third degree I had to suffer from Ayden and some curious looks from

Shaw, it wasn’t a big deal at all. Now, had they known that I let it go from babysitting a blacked-out drunk

to something else entirely, that might have been a different story. It sucked because I couldn’t get the

something else entirely out of my mind no matter what I did.

Rome had stopped at the shop once to drop off Nash’s cell when he forgot it at home and another time

to ask Rule if he would come and help strip the floors at that dive bar he seemed to be spending all his time

at. On both occasions he had been achingly polite and totally normal. There was no hint of anything

inappropriate or even flirtatious. He acted like we had never been naked together, let alone screwed each

other’s brains out, and it irked me to no end. Especially since every time I saw him I was reminded just

how out-of-this-world hot he was. It wasn’t fair. Granted I had been the one to deny that the act meant

anything other than scratching an itch, but it rubbed me the wrong way that he seemed so blasé and

unaffected by it. I responded by being even more flippant and sarcastic than normal. It didn’t seem to

bother him at all.

I was at Cerberus after a particularly long day at the shop having drinks with everyone and waiting for

Jet’s band to play. It was a typical Saturday night except for the fact that instead of having fun with my

friends, I was busy trying not to watch Rome and the chick in leather pants who was practically dry-

humping him at the table. I knew it shouldn’t bother me, we weren’t even friends really, but it was taking

every ounce of restraint I possessed, which wasn’t a lot to begin with, not only to keep from screaming at

him, but to keep from murdering the chick with her own tacky necklace. To Rome’s credit, he didn’t look

like he was interested in what the girl was throwing at him, but he sure as hell wasn’t pushing her away

either. I wanted to dump the pitcher of beer in front of me over both of them.

“What’s up, cranky pants?”

Rowdy’s amused voice broke through my dark musings and I tore my gaze away from Rome to look at

him. Jet had dragged Ayden off backstage with him saying something about how she needed to see the

bathroom here as well; Shaw and Rule were deep in conversation with Nash about Phil, nobody had seen

or heard from the shop owner in over a week and everyone was concerned. Rome was busy with

Catwoman, so that left me and Rowdy alone at the table. There were way worse drinking partners to have,

but at the moment I didn’t need those perceptive ocean-blue eyes picking me apart.

“I’m not cranky, just tired. It was a long day.”

He lifted a blond eyebrow and picked up his pint of Coors Light. “You’ve been off all week. Quiet.

That’s not normal.”

I just shrugged and hoped silence would make him drop it, but then the girl with Rome threw back her

head and let out a loud laugh that had me biting down on my tongue to avoid creating a scene.

“There is no way he said anything that funny. I don’t even think he has a sense of humor.” I was aware

I sounded snarky and mean but I couldn’t seem to help it.

Rowdy stretched one of his arms out along the back of my chair and wrapped his fingers around the

back of my neck. I sighed a little when he started to rub some of the tension out of the muscles.

“You wanna tell me what’s really going on or do you just want me to jump to my own conclusion,

which is probably right anyway?”

I scowled at him and looked back at Rome and the leather-clad bitch. I couldn’t hold back the tiny snarl

that formed when I saw her tuck her fingers under the edge of the leather belt he had on.

“It’s possible, I mean highly likely, that I think big brother Archer is a total babe.”

Rowdy laughed. “No kidding.”

I elbowed him in the side and rolled my eyes. “It’s also entirely possible that said babeness is hard to

resist, and I may or may not have let his sleepover get out of hand.”

The gentle rubbing stopped and he let out a low whistle. I looked up at him and frowned when I saw

that he was frowning right back at me.

“What?”

“That’s just surprising and kind of messed up.”

“Why? You guys do it all the time.”

“Not with anyone the rest of us are related to. We like to get away clean.”

I elbowed him in the ribs again. “Pig.”

“If it was just a onetime thing then what’s with the death glare you’re giving the brunette that’s all up on

him?”

I heaved a deep sigh. “I don’t know.” And I really didn’t. Rome was not on my agenda, he was not

what I was looking for, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and all his imperfections. That wasn’t good.

I put my chin on my hand and looked at Rowdy.

“Don’t you get lonely? Rule’s with Shaw, Jet went and got married, for Christ’s sake. Don’t you look

around and wonder when it’s your turn? I know you well enough to know that the endless girls, the one-

night stands, are what they are. You could do without, but if the right one came along you would be all

over her.”

He laughed without any humor and leaned back in his chair. When the waitress came by he ordered us a

round of Jäger shots.

“The right one came along forever ago, only I wasn’t her right one, so now it is what it is and I’m just

killing time.”

I blinked at him in surprise. He never really talked about his past much. I knew he grew up in the

system in Texas, that he used to play football, and that he had left the game and college unexpectedly and

decided to tattoo instead, but that was really it.

“So you don’t think there’s anyone else after that? You’re just going to spend the rest of your life going

girl to girl and being alone?”

It made me think of Jimmy, of the life I thought I was supposed to have by now. I had invested

everything in him, had thought he was my everything, and now I wasn’t so sure. Nothing had flipped me

upside down the way the pain and passion that burned in Rome’s bright blue eyes had. I wasn’t a person

affected by a lot, but he affected me, no doubt about it. He was about as steady and secure as a tropical

storm, though, and that made him more than a little dangerous to my sense of what was right for me.

“For now it’s all about a good time and eventually someone will come along and I’ll be her one, and if

I’m lucky I’ll like her well enough that that’ll be enough to make it work. I don’t think that idiot you left

behind in New York was ever your one and only, Tink. I think you were young and tired of being bounced

around by your dad, so you latched on to the first steady thing you could find. You thought Jimmy was

going to be your family, your home, and when that didn’t happen you ended up lost and scared. I think

you’ll know it when your one comes along, because perfect or not, he’s going to knock you sideways and

maybe for once shut you up and you won’t have time to be scared anymore.”

I didn’t respond when his gaze flicked to where Rome was standing. Crap. I tossed back the shot and

made a face at him.

“You suck.”

“Only when asked nicely.” We shared a laugh and I looked up in surprise when a shadow fell over the

edge of the table. I hated that I had to crank my neck back to look up at Rome. The scar on his forehead

stood out in stark relief in the dim light of the bar. A muscle was twitching in his cheek and his normally

iridescent eyes seemed kind of cloudy and dark.

“Can you tell Rule and Shaw I’ve had enough? I’m gonna bounce.” He sounded gruff and looked

irritated at something. His leather limpet was nowhere to be seen.

“Enmity hasn’t even played yet.” Why I told him that I had no idea. Obviously the band hadn’t gone on

stage yet. I was just being snippy and argumentative.

He narrowed his eyes at me and opened his mouth then shut it again like he had to rethink what he was

going to say. He gave his head a tiny little shake like he was marshaling his thoughts.

“I’ve known Jet since he was a kid. I’ve seen him play a thousand times. I’m trying really hard not to

drink, and if I stick around here one more second, that isn’t going to be possible.”

We stared at each other in silence. I didn’t know if I should take that as he shouldn’t drink anymore to

avoid making mistakes like the one he made with me, or that he needed to stop drinking because he was out

of control and it wasn’t helping matters.

Rowdy ordered us another round of shots and I saw Rome’s jaw clench. I wasn’t sure what was going

on, so I defaulted to my usual glib manner.

“Captain No-Fun strikes again.”

I saw his dark brows lower and felt Rowdy tense next to me. It was rude and it was uncalled for, but

before I could apologize, he put his hands on the table in front of me and bent down so that we were face-

to-face. There was a storm brewing in that blue gaze and I didn’t think I wanted any part of it, or maybe I

wanted to be the cause of it and that was why I was acting so awful.

“Pretty sure you know what my idea of a good time is. I’d be happy to remind you in case you forgot.”

My breath got caught in my throat and I saw Rowdy shift uncomfortably next to me.

“No thanks. I think Catwoman wants a turn.”

He sneered at me and started to walk away throwing over his shoulder, “You would know that there’s

more than enough to go around, Half-Pint.”

It took me a second to catch my breath after he was gone. I couldn’t bring myself to watch and see if

the brunette ended up leaving with him or not. Rowdy let out another low whistle.

“Dude, I didn’t think I would ever see the day anyone got the last word with you. Totally sideways.”

I ignored him and picked my beer back up. I couldn’t do this with Rome. Couldn’t run him off, these

were his friends and family, too. I couldn’t be bitchy to him just because I was jealous and envious that his

hotness was undeniable. I was going to have to put on my big-girl panties and have a showdown with him,

have the talk that I really didn’t want to have and clear the air. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with

him exactly, but there was something in all the messed-up ways we were around each other I didn’t think

we could ignore. But first I was going to drink all the Jäger in Colorado and try to block out the image of

that leather-clad skank with her paws all over him. I also was going to steadfastly avoid the knowing looks

Rowdy kept shooting at me; either that or I was going to punch him in the nose.

The next morning I was feeling a little rough, but it was totally manageable, especially since all I had to

do was throw on a cute sundress, slime some product in my hair, and slick some gloss on and be good to

go. Short hair rocked. My sundress was bright turquoise, the same color as my odd blue eye, and it had a

big sunflower in neon yellow on the hem. It was bright and cheerful, so I figured no matter how grouchy

Rome was, he wouldn’t be able to stay too mad in the presence of such an awesome summer dress. Plus it

made my legs look great and made it appear that I actually had some cleavage.

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