Romancing My Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens) Contemporary Romance (15 page)

MUCH LATER, REBECCA and Pierce lay on the bed, nose to nose, each with a hand on the other’s cheeks. Rebecca’s mind was still floating in the clouds from their lovemaking. Pierce made love to her as if he cherished every second just as much as she did, like he wanted it to go on forever. He didn’t rush her after his own release. He took his time, caressing her cheek, her hip, her arms, pressing soft kisses to her face and remaining inside her until he was too soft to hold his place. She played their lovemaking over in her mind, lingering on his whispers in her ear. She’d heard the desire in his voice when he asked if she was on the pill, and she’d nearly said to make love to her and just pull out, but she had too many things she had yet to accomplish to take a chance like that. Pierce had been with so many women that she had to be smart, too.

“I never imagined feeling like this about anyone,” Pierce admitted. “You. Us. It’s all so unexpected.”

She cuddled in closer. “Completely unexpected. Relationships haven’t been anywhere near my radar screen for years.”

He kissed her lips and draped his arm over her waist. “Did you miss intimacy? You’re so young to have given up so much for so long.”

She shook her head. “When you’re in that situation, there’s no room for missing or wishing for something else. At least for me there wasn’t. I was busy trying to remain employed, which I didn’t do a great job of, keeping track of pills and medical appointments, and…I don’t want to talk about this, because you’re going to fall into pity mode like everyone else and I don’t want to ruin what we have.” She was frustrated with herself as much as the situation. There was always a look when she spoke of these things, and she knew she overreacted to it, and sometimes she called it pity when she wasn’t even sure it was. But whatever it was, it made her feel uncomfortable, and it bothered her enough that she was unable to keep herself from reacting so vehemently to it.

“Babe, talk to me. Let me into your life. I promise I won’t pity you. I want to know all of you, not just the sexy, fun parts. I want to understand what you’ve been through and where you hope to go. It’s really okay for people to say they’re sorry and to feel sad that you missed out on things; that’s not pitying you.”

Rebecca sat up and pulled the sheet over her chest. She loved how he wasn’t afraid to express himself, even if she might not want to hear what he had to say, and that he cared enough to ask difficult questions. Most guys would stay away from uncomfortable subjects like her mother’s death, as if her disease were contagious. He said all the right things and she believed him, but he still didn’t understand.

“Don’t you see, Pierce? I didn’t miss out on anything. I made sure of it. I was there for the only thing that mattered—spending time with, and taking care of, my mom. If you would have given me a million dollars and said,
Here, hire someone to care for her and go live your life
, what do you think I would have done?”

“Aw, Bec.”

“No, I’m being serious.” She wasn’t yelling or even raising her voice, but her tone was serious and she saw in Pierce’s eyes that he heard it loud and clear. “Pierce, I loved taking care of my mom as much as I hated it. It was hard, damn hard, but we had time together that, if I were too wrapped up in myself, we never would have had.”

Pierce wrapped his arms around her and pressed her head to his chest.
Chivalrous
. It’s who he was.

She remained against him for a minute, maybe two, then pushed away gently. “I know you care about me, and I know you want to hear all about what I’ve gone through, but you can’t look at me like that, or I can’t open up to you.”

“Like what?”

“Like you wish you could fix it.” Her heart was in a tug-of-war. She loved that he cared and wanted to fix things for her, and at the same time, she hated the
fixing
part. She never felt like she’d missed out on life, and she didn’t want to be seen as someone who had.

“How can I change that, Bec? I know I can’t fix it, but I’m human, and I care about you, so you’re going to see that I wish I could.”

“Then wear sunglasses when we talk.” She felt herself smile.

“Wait. Stay right there.” He leaned forward and brushed something from her shoulder.

“What was it?”

“It’s that chip you carry around.” He smiled and it made her smile.

Rebecca knew that she wasn’t an easy person for someone to love. She was strong and she had her own beliefs about who she was and how she lived her life, and she could only hope that Pierce might someday understand why those things were hard to change—or even if they ever would.

“Look, I get it. Okay? My father left, and I hate it when people act like I missed out on someone great, because I didn’t. I think it’s the same feeling as you get when people say they’re sorry about your mom. That look is why I don’t talk about him, so I really do get it. I just can’t help that I care enough to want to fix it for you. I’m afraid that no matter how hard I try, you’re going to see that look in my eyes, Bec. Maybe you don’t really want to open up to me.”

She dropped her eyes and ran her thumb over her mother’s ring. “But I do like to talk about my mom with you. I don’t talk to anyone else about her. Maybe we can find a middle ground? I’ll talk and you look away.”

“I like the sunglasses better. That way I can still look at you.” He pulled her across his lap and kissed her. “I’ll try not to look at you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Let’s talk about something else. Tell me how your first two days of work went. Do you like it so far?”

“Yeah. I love it so far. We’re always busy, so time goes quickly, and it’s not a mentally taxing job, so when I take my last courses, I’ll still have the brainpower to study at night.” She shrugged as if that was all there was, but in truth, she was ecstatic to no longer be living in her car.  

“When are you going to take classes?” he asked.

“As soon as I have the money. I’ve only got a couple classes left before I graduate, and I should be able to take them in the spring.”

“I can help you pay for them.”

“Pierce, stop.” She shifted from his lap and gathered the sheet around her.

“Stop what? I’m just offering to help so you can finish the courses.”

He looked so baffled, and it didn’t surprise Rebecca. He couldn’t possibly understand what she was feeling, but he would never be able to if she didn’t explain it to him. Rebecca pushed her irritation away and drew upon the patience she’d learned so well during her mother’s illness. She took his hand in hers and tried to explain again.

“I love that you want to help, but I’m not a project. I don’t need charity. I
want
to do this on my own. I know you care for me, and I know you would be willing to help me out of the goodness of your heart, but you need to understand, and accept, how that would make me feel like you were trying to fix things.”

“Guys are fixers. It’s a known fact.” He pulled her close again.

“Right, which is maybe why I didn’t miss dating. I don’t need fixing.” She took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. “Hear me, Pierce. If this relationship is going to work, you can’t offer to fix things for me. Got it?”

“You know, even women who have everything at their fingertips let their boyfriends offer to do things for them.”

She kissed his nose, because he was so damn cute when he was trying to get his way. “Then you should date one of them if you need to fix women. I’m a woman who doesn’t need fixing. Take me or leave me.”

She inched to the edge of the bed, and he scooped her back with his powerful arms. “You’re asking a lot of me. It will go against everything I’ve ever believed. But for you, I will try to do things your way. You’ll have to cut me some slack, though. And as far as taking or leaving you goes…” He dragged his finger from the center of her collarbone to her belly button. “I’ve taken you, and I’ll take you again, and again, but I’ll never leave you.”

WEDNESDAY MORNING THEY got up early and went for a three-mile run. Rebecca was competitive by nature, and working out with Pierce was great motivation, even if he taunted her during their run by running behind her and making sexual innuendos, which she also secretly loved. And showering with him? Oh Lord, there was nothing like the feeling of his big hands, lathered with soap, sliding over her wet skin, caressing every inch of her body like it was new to him when he’d spent the evening before loving those very same parts. And she had to admit that touching him, taking him in her mouth while water ran down her back, added a whole other level of erotic sensations to their lovemaking. She loved watching him dress in his business suits, covering all those godly muscles as if they didn’t exist. It gave her a thrill knowing just how glorious that hidden body was.

Rebecca grabbed her purse on the way out the door. She was trying to get used to carrying it since she wanted access to her cell phone and there were no pockets in the black skirts she wore for work.

“Is your phone on?” After his brother had given him a hard time for forgetting to turn on his phone, Rebecca had gotten used to reminding him to do so. She loved how he feigned hating the nag, though she could tell by his smile that he liked it.

“Oh, you think you know me, don’t you?” Pierce pulled out his phone, turned his back, and she knew he was turning it on. When he turned around and held it up with a big smile, she laughed. “It was on. See?”

She tossed her purse in the car and Pierce folded her into his arms.

“What would I do without you?” He nuzzled against her neck.

“Oh, probably miss a lot of morning phone calls.”

“Do I really have to go another long day without you? How about meeting me for lunch?”

“Are you at all worried about people seeing us together? I wanted to ask you about that. How do you think we should handle it so you aren’t seen as a letch?” She smiled, and she could tell by the gleam in his eyes that he knew she was joking.

“Seen as a letch? I’ve never dated women who work for me.”

She arched a brow.

“Well, until you, of course. I’m not going to pretend, Bec. My cousin Josh went through that. He and his fiancée, Riley, hid their relationship because she worked for him, and it pretty much sucked. I don’t think we have to flaunt it, but if I want to see you, I’m going to see you, and if you want to see me, then I want that door open twenty-four seven.”

“Well, one of my roommates works with me. Should I let her know?”

“I think honesty is best. Your coworkers might treat you differently, so maybe you should just be ready for that. You know, the whole dating the boss thing, but I’ve never dated anyone who works there before, so it’s not like they can say that I make a pattern of it, or anything like that.”

“But you
were
a player. You told me so yourself.” She touched his arm. “I’ve handled a lot worse things than comments.”

“Even the thought of someone saying something to you about my dating habits pisses me off. I’ve never flaunted women around the casino. I’m a respected businessman with a reputation to uphold. I came and went through a side entrance if I was staying at the hotel, and it’s not like I woke up with those women and took them to breakfast.” He kissed her softly. “Let’s just be us, and we’ll deal with whatever comes up.”

“Okay.” She drew in a deep breath, readying herself to ask what needed to be asked. “I don’t mean to be a buzzkill, but you asked if I was on the pill.”

“I just want to be closer to you.”

“I know, but you’ve had a…”
Oh God, how on earth can I say this?
“
Busy
social life.”

“You’re wondering if I’m clean.” His voice was serious.

She was so nervous she could only manage a nod. It wasn’t a comfortable thing to have to ask, but things that were important were rarely easy.

“I’ve always used condoms. I could be the poster boy for Trojan, but if you want me to get tested, I will. Whatever you need to make you comfortable.”

She fiddled with the button in the middle of his chest. “I’m sorry. I know how this all must sound. I’m just paranoid.”

He lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes with the same look he had last night when they were making love. “Babe, if you’re willing to go on the pill, I’m willing to take a simple test. We’re worth it. I’ll have Daisy, Luke’s fiancée, do it when I go home next weekend. I’d rather keep something like this private. She’s a doctor, and I trust her.”

She nodded, and he folded her into his arms again.

“You can ask anything of me. I’ll always tell you the truth.”

“I know.” Rebecca hadn’t ever had anyone that she could really trust besides her mother, and with Pierce, she believed that he really would always tell her the truth.

He opened her car door, then closed it. “Drive to work with me. Why should we take separate cars? I want you to come home with me after work anyway, and it’ll give us more time together.”

She glanced at her car and her pulse quickened. She hadn’t realized that her car had become some type of security blanket. It had been the one stable thing in her life after her mother died. Without it, she’d have had no place to stay after she left her apartment. It’s not like she was getting rid of it, but somehow not having it with her—
just in case
—made her nervous.

“What if I need it?”

“You can always use my car.” She eyed his Jaguar and had no desire to drive it. It wasn’t having a car that was an issue; it was having her car.

“I’m kind of used to having it.”

“I think this is one of those control freak issues you were talking about the other day. Okay. Take your car.” He kissed her again and opened her car door for her.

She held on to his hand. “I’m sorry. It’s kinda weird, isn’t it? That I need my car?”

He shrugged. “No more weird than me wanting to fix things for you. We’ll just have to adjust.”

As she climbed into her car, he must have sensed her discomfort, because he lifted her chin so he could see her eyes and said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, Bec. It’s all fine. Lunch?”

“Definitely.”

“Great. There’s one more thing I keep forgetting to ask you. My cousin Treat and his wife, Max, are coming into town for dinner tomorrow night. Will you have dinner with us? I’d really like you to meet them.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather spend time alone with them?” Her heart was going crazy at the idea of meeting his family, even though they weren’t his immediate family. It was a big deal and confirmed just how much he liked her.

“I’d rather spend time alone with you, but short of that, I’d rather you were with me every second of every day.”

Rebecca was glad she was sitting down, because he said everything she felt, and if she were standing, her legs would have surely failed her.

“Okay,” she managed.

They made plans for Pierce to come down and meet her at noon, and after a long kiss goodbye, Rebecca drove to work feeling ridiculous for needing her stupid car.
Tomorrow I’ll leave the darn thing at home
.
At Pierce’s
, she corrected herself.