Romance: Undercover Panther: BBW Paranormal Shapeshifter Romance (BBW, Paranormal, Werebear Romance) (Shapeshifter Romance Series by Ashley Hunter) (4 page)

Chapter 8

Angie didn’t sleep at all that night. Her eyes closed after they got tired by remaining open for so long but it wasn’t sleeping. Her dreams were punctuated by all kinds of beings, animals turning into humans and vice versa; vampires, werewolves, panthers.

She woke up with a start and saw with some trepidation that it was 9 am. She had missed breakfast. She tried her luck and the door was open. That didn’t seem to go by the rules set by Shadow.

She went downstairs and saw that no one was around. It seemed odd that Shadow would leave her unattended. What if she ran away? Maybe he didn’t care anymore.

She went outside and was even more surprised to learn that the main door was open as well. It didn’t long for her to find Shadow. He was working on the car in which he had transported Angie.

But the first thing Angie noticed was that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. The weather was pleasant after the rain last night. She stood there enjoying the view, him being oblivious to her presence. Then she coughed to get his attention.

He turned around and saw her.

“Hey,” he said and his manner dictated that the events of the last night still prevailed in his mind. They prevailed in her mind as well; it would be impossible to forget a man turning into a panther.

“I didn’t close the door because I thought…” he said but was clearly uncomfortable.

“You would need rest and time to think after…last night.”

Angie nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”

He turned around and continued working on the engine. Angie remained standing there.

She was determined to talk this through. She had a lot of questions. Questions that she wanted answers to. She was going to get those answers.

“Listen,” she said and Shadow turned around. Angie did her best not to stare at his perfect abs, but it was hard. She walked up to him.

“I want to talk. I have a lot of questions.”

“I understand,” he said.

“But it is hard; talking about this.”

“I can understand,” she said.

“But there is nothing that can’t be solved by talking this through. I want to learn everything about your…situation.”

Shadow seemed to consider the situation. He seemed to be fighting an internal battle. Finally, he nodded and without saying a word walked inside.

Angie followed him. He grabbed a shirt from the railing outside the door and put it on. Angie was disappointed.

He went and sat down on the sofa beside the fireplace, which was not lit at this hour. Angie sat down on the rug.

After last night’s snogging session, she had grown rather fond of this rug.

“What do you want to know?” he said, taking a deep breath.

Angie felt strange, like an interrogator or an interviewer.

“Well, firstly: when you transform, are you still
you?
”

“Yes,” he said briefly.

“Meaning you won’t maul me in your sleep or I would not find a panther conducting a bloodbath here any time soon?”

“I assure you that it is really me in that beast,” Shadow said.

“When I transform, my mind retains the thinking capability. I can think like a human, make rational decisions, recognize people and choose not to hurt those I don’t want to.”

“Have you ever hurt someone?” she said, slowly, not sure if he would take offence.

“I told you I did. I worked for the army,” he said.

“No, I meant in panther form?” she said.

Shadow paused. He had a strange look on his face.

“Yes,” he said softly, his voice barely a whisper.

“I’m not proud of it, but I did.”

Angie didn’t press the matter further, it seemed that Shadow was struggling with it.

“Does the army know about your situation?” she asked.

Shadow got up from his seat and started pacing.

“No, they don’t and I would like that to remain that way. Imagine them getting a weapon like this. The army thinks in terms of commodities and missions. If they had learnt what I was…who I was…it would be a disaster.”

“How did you become like this?” she said.

“I did not
become
like this,” Shadow said.

“I was
born
like this. Mine is an ancient race. We have lived with humans for as long as time exists and will continue to do so. Wives don’t know their husbands can turn into panthers, that is the kind of secrecy we maintain. It’s a whole different world and even when they combine, we come it at an arm’s length.”

Angie nodded, absorbing all the information. It seemed something right out of a storybook but she had seen it, and as the saying goes: seeing is believing.

“So what about us?” she asked.

“Us?”

“Yes, us.”

“There is no us,” he said.

“There was yesterday.”

“Last night was a mistake.”

“It didn’t feel like a mistake.”

“Then you felt wrong,” Shadow said.

Angie was stumped for a moment, and didn’t know what to say. What do you say to someone who says what you felt was wrong? It is not your everyday question-answer session.

“You don’t know that,” she said.

“Don’t you see? We can’t be together.”

“Don’t
you
see? I don’t care,” Angie said, matching his ferocity, word for word.

Now it was Shadow’s turn to be stumped. He looked at Angie with longing in his eyes and Angie felt that this was hurting him as well, probably more so than what he let on.

He was bound by the thing he was and the thing he could not be.

“It’s not about you caring,” he said, in a low voice.

Angie bridged the gap between them with a few steps and took his hands in her.

“Hey,” she said.

“We can make it work. Let’s pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“The world doesn’t stop existing when you close your eyes,” he said, always the realist.

“It does. You just have to shut your eyes hard enough.”

“Your optimism is misplaced,” Shadow said, shaking his head.

“Your cynicism is misguided,” Angie replied.

Shadow’s eyes flashed. Before Angie could say anything else, he pressed his lips to hers and the force of his passion drove her to a nearby wall.

Against the wall, he grabbed her hands and lifted them overhead. The kiss had not been broken yet and it seemed it would not be broken any time soon.

It was not a sweet kiss. It was hot, passionate, full of ferocious need and want. Angie’s passion reciprocated the force of Shadow’s lips. When their lips separated, both were breathing heavily as if they had run a marathon.

“Whoa,” Angie said but again Shadow covered her mouth with his and she was not going to complain.

Shadow moved from her lips to her neck and Angie moaned in pleasure. It was unlike she had ever experienced.

The raw, carnal sexuality was turning her on more than anything else. Shadow pulled her dress over and now (on his knees) planted kisses on her belly. Angie had her hands in his hair and had her eyes closed.

Shadow grabbed her right breast with his hand and continued the assault on her body with his lips.

“I want to kiss you,” Angie moaned.

“Come back here.”

As soon as Shadow stood up and looked in her eyes, he stopped. Angie put her lips to his but he didn’t respond.

“What’s wrong, baby?” she said, kissing his neck but no movement from him.

He stood still like a zombie.

“We can’t,” he repeated like a broken record.

Angie was stunned. Everything seemed to be going on perfectly just now and suddenly he was Mr. Grumpy again. His mood swings were making her angry.

“What happened now?!” she said, her emotions getting the better of her.

“You don’t understand what will happen,” he said, taking a few steps away from her.

“You’re right. I don’t and you know why: because you won’t tell me.”

Shadow looked miserable. Angie felt for him, she understood his dilemma but she was also frustrated by his lack of reticence.

“It isn’t just hooking up for us,” he said.

“Like it is for humans.”

“What are you talking about?” Angie said.

“You love for one night and it’s all over. That’s not how it is in my world,” he said.

“That’s not how it is in
our
world, also.” Angie said, defensively as if the weight of the whole world was on her shoulders.

“Don’t be childish. You take these things far less seriously. Love, lust, sex. These are words for you. Nothing more and words are winds.”

“Since when did this become humans vs panther-human shape shifters?” Angie said, utterly perplexed.

“If I make love to you, then that’s it,” Shadow said, in a tone of finality.

“What do you mean ‘that’s it’? Do the trumpets sound and apocalypse arrive?”

“Again, a joke,” he said.

“Oh, come on,” she said, not believing that he was acting like a scorned lover already.

“Hear what you are saying and how can I take this any other way?”

“If we are together, then you are fine forever and I am yours. You are my ‘mate’,” he said.

“’Mate’? As in pirates?”

He looked at her with daggers in his eyes.

“Ok, sorry,” she said apologetically.

“Mate, how?”

“We will be bound by ancient principles of my traditions. It would be a mortal sin for me to lay with another woman other than you. Both of us will be sentenced to death.”

“That is barbaric,” she said, aghast.

“That is the law,” he said, simply.

“They should change it,” she said.

“It is not my place to make and change laws,” he said.

Angie had no idea what to say. This seemed so arcane, so ancient.

This was the 21
st
century and she couldn’t believe such traditions existed.
But then, until yesterday, neither did shape shifters.

“I don’t care,” Angie said.

“I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I have waited all my life for someone to be passionate about me and all I got was slobbering drunks, bored of their wives.”

“You’re just saying that,” he said.

“I’m not. You make me feel alive. You make me feel different. I see the way you look at me and that is what all a girl wants in a man. I am not stupid. I know you love me, and whatever stupid logic you have thought up in your head, get it out. You don’t know what a woman who loves will do to keep her man. You have never seen ‘Fatal Attraction’.”

“What?” Shadow said.

“Nothing. Bad example. My point is: stop fucking around. I want you. You want me. I don’t want anyone else. I can live with whatever special made-up rule you have in
your
world. Just love me.”

Shadow was shaking his head.

“You are not thinking straight. You are saying this now. There are a lot of consequences associated with this.”

“You’re not listening. I DO NOT CARE!” Angie reiterated forcefully.

They stood, a few feet apart, but in reality a million miles. Angie desperately wanted him to see that it was ok. They were ok.

But he was bound by his principles. He was bound by his traditions. Angie could not bring herself to say how stupid this thing was but she needed him to see that it didn’t matter.

“Listen,” she said. “What would it take for you to see that I want you? Only you. No other man has ever treated me like the way you do. My life had endless altercations with old drunks and fools who saw nothing but a woman, a piece of flesh. You see me. The real me and I saw the real you. You showed me where it hurt. You showed me what you really are and isn’t that enough to tell you that I am right for you. That this is right!”

Shadow was listening her speak and he understood all this.

“I know,” he said softly.

“I know and I want you. More than anything else. I want you to scream in pleasure and laugh in mirth. I want your lips on mine and kisses that last days. I want your skin to tingle when I touch you, like mine does when you touch me. I want your heartbeat faster when I say your name, like mine gets faster when you say my name. I want to feel your goosebumps when I whisper your name…. Angie. I want your love. I want your lust. I want your body. I want your soul more. I want your fears and hopes. I want to wake up every morning looking at you and go to bed every night looking at you. Your eyes make my heart skip a beat. Your lips…the curves of your lips…they make my feet tingle. Your voice is fucking music to my ears, melodious than any song in the world. It’s as if you were carved by the devil itself to tempt me.”