Authors: Brittanee Farrow
Miss Norris has been thoughtful enough to provide an alternate outfit for the funeral, and arranged the food for after. A simple black sheath dress, with low black espadrilles means that I won’t overheat at the graveside service.
Chip is speaking about my father, after the reverend. For the second time in my life, I see him in a suit and tie. He must be sweltering, but for the entire service he doesn’t fidget. He is still fully dressed when he enters the ranch house.
“Diana,” he kisses my cheek. “I got a drink for you.”
How does he know what I need, without my asking?
Jace appears, with the other cowboys, and they all offer condolences. Quietly, Jace makes a small speech for the group.
“Just know we really respected your father, and we’ll work just as hard for you. We all agree.”
I nod, but don’t feel like talking about the ranch just now. Chip leads them all away, and I’m left with a mix of strangers and old acquaintances. Everyone talks about the dead as though they’re saints. My father was difficult, not just within the family but with anyone he came across. His principles were iron and his opinions were immutable. But everyone talks about how great of a man he was and I just nod. It’s a silent agreement, that we give the dead one day to be appreciated, thought well of.
By the time all of the hors d’oeuvres are eaten, I am tired and sore. Once the house is truly empty, Miss Norris shoos me from the living room where I begin to clean up, insisting I should lie down or take a bath. When my parents were imperious I railed against the impositions, but now all I want is to be told what to do.
I didn’t cry when I learned of my father’s death. I didn’t cry at the services. But standing in the shower, washing off the day, the tears come. My heart strains against the pain, and I cry for the things my father was and was not. I cry for the girl who chose to leave instead of fight. And I cry for the weight of the decisions I have to make now, wishing someone would tell me what to do.
Once I calm down, I step outside on the porch. The air is alive with chirps and hoots and the sound of a fire crackling. A few of the cowboys sit around the fire, and they are prodding something beneath the logs. Chip nods to me, and I walk over, sitting to his left.
“You still eat banana boats?”
I laugh. This was our go-to snack. The banana made it seem healthy, but the peanut butter and chocolate and marshmallows made it delicious.
“Of course.”
He checks his foil-wrapped banana, and it is perfectly melted. We share bites, but in the end I just lean against him, eating when he wants to feed me. The others grab their snacks but don’t stay, and I feel bad.
“Did they leave because I’m here?”
“They know I wanted to talk with you alone,” he explains. “A lot happened today and I’m sure you need time, but I wanted to let you know if you need help making decisions, even just about the ranch, I’ll help where I can.”
His words lift the anxiety from my chest, just a little. Chip is the last person to take advantage of anyone; I can trust his advice.
“Thank you.”
He kisses the top of my head, and asks if I’m sleeping with Penny tonight.
“That was just a one-time thing.”
He laughs. It is less comfortable than I had imagined. And I kept worrying Penny might trample or kick me accidentally. I’ll be sleeping in my own bed, like a normal adult.
As we talk, Jace appears and makes a beeline for the fire, sitting close on my other side. His hand is warm on my back. Chip holds my right hand, stroking the back with his thumb. I feel torn and squished between the two, so I stand.
“It’s getting a bit warm,” I explain.
“I’ll say,” Jace smirks.
Both make to walk me back to the house, but I pull away. How could I possibly choose between two men who are so different but equally satisfying? If this were a restaurant, I might order both dishes, but in life you don’t get both.
As I lock the door behind me, I look at them both. Jace is talking excitedly, making lots of hand gestures. Chip is briefer, speaking less, but gradually Jace calms down and they both walk toward the bunks together.
My nerves are on fire from being so close to both; there’s no way I can sleep, so I pull out the inheritance paperwork. Some of the listings could be managed easily—the ranch is the big commitment. I could stay here, with Chip or Jace, or someone else. Penny and I could have adventures. But could I really live in this house? The thought of sleeping in my parent’s master bedroom seems wrong, but that would be the normal choice.
What happens on the other hand? I sell, the cowboys lose their jobs. The money would buy more land in Miami, so I could bring Penny, but the weather is so different. I’m not sure how it would work. And Miss Norris. She’s so kind and helpful. She would lose her job.
Reading the paperwork only makes me more nervous, but I’m exhausted so I search through the names Thompson gave me and find an accountant. If nothing else, I need to evaluate the state of the holdings. Mr. Reed gets an email requesting an appointment and then I succumb to exhaustion.
Something tastes metallic when I wake up, and I realize I’ve bitten my own tongue. I can remember just the hint of a dream, a feeling of loss, but nothing about what actually happened.
Today Miss Norris spoils me with cheddar grits, crispy bacon, and sliced cantaloupe. It’s so delicious and I make sure to explain that her grits are the best I’ve ever had.
“Did you know they are one of my favorite breakfast foods?”
She blushes. “Your father told me. He gave me a list of preferences when I started, just in case. I’m glad you enjoy them.”
The shock must be written all over my face, because she asks if I’m okay. I nod, but say today I might need a break from the events. She nods, and asks if I brought a swimsuit. When I admit no, she produces a few options, both two-piece and one piece. I burst into tears, and she hugs me until the sobs subside.
“I’m so embarrassed,” I sniffle. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” she comforts, offering me a tissue.
I escape to the bathroom to try on the suits in front of a full-length mirror. She has amazing taste, even down to choosing what looks best on my body. There’s a teal paisley tankini with ruching down the sides and a normal swimsuit bottom, a coral one piece with flattering twists across the stomach, then a purple bikini with a halter top and high-waist bottoms. The last one is like nothing I’ve worn before, and I impulsively leave it on, forcing myself to try something new.
Somehow, by the time I emerge the cowboys and some of their girlfriends are waiting on the porch, and Miss Norris hands me a wicker beach bag stocked with sunblock, water, and other essentials, including matching sandals. I smile at her, and she says all the food is ready, except the steaks, which she will start when we come back.
“You’re amazing.” She beams at the compliment and I have to walk away before I tear up again.
We all walk down to the lake, setting out blankets and towels in rows. Several of the cowboys introduce their girls, who are all beautiful and sweet. Jace and Chip still flank me, sitting beside my towel when I claim a spot on the grass, and staying close to me in the water.
For a few hours I forget the ranch, the legal decisions, and only think about sun, swimming, and the men vying for my attention. I try to be fair, talking to them both, and they interact better than yesterday. It’s like some understanding exists between them, and I find both attentive and accommodating.
By the time we head back to the house for lunch, my skin has soaked up the sun’s heat and I am hungry for more of Miss Norris’ kitchen creations. The back patio is set, bright flowers dotting the table every so often, all the flatware and plates laid out, lime green linen napkins folded in fans on each setting. The steaks are marinated in a delicious sauce, and there is caprese salad, grilled corn on the cob, and fresh-made rolls with butter. Miss Norris rebuffs our pleas for her to eat with us, but everyone praises the food and she disappears inside the house smiling.
Chip refills my sweet tea attentively, and Jace moves an umbrella closer to shield me from the sun overhead. All I can picture is Scarlet O’Hara at her family barbecue, surrounded by the most eligible men in town. How did I get so lucky?
As if he can read my mind, Jace leans over, whispering “Do you know how hard it was not to rip that bikini off you and just take you by the lake? I’m going to make up for time later tonight.”
I sputter on my tea, and Chip leans over while I cough. “You look so gorgeous today—I can’t wait to see you without your swimsuit later tonight.”
For a good ten minutes I’m incapacitated, thinking about the logistics of this. Two men in the same day? They might have agreed to share, but I don’t know how both can share me at the same time.
Late in the day, after the cattle have been fed and everyone’s had dinner, I take a quick shower. As I pad back to my room, both Chip and Jace are waiting for me. Quickly, I take the towel off my head.
Jace crosses the room and closes my bedroom door. “I’m sorry you got a shower already,” he smiles. “We’re just going to get you dirty again.” He tugs on my robe belt, and I am exposed to him and Chip, who is unzipping his jeans.
Is this a dream? Never could I imagine two men wanting me enough to share, and I can’t even imagine how it will feel. Already I’m growing wet, and I can see Chip is starting to get hard.
Jace throws of his shirt, pushes me back on the bed, and begins to kiss my breasts. He reaches a hand down and begins rubbing my clit, and I’m helpless. My eyelids flutter with pleasure, but I can see Chip is fully hard and can feel Jace’s erection through his jeans. I reach for Chip, and he walks over slowly, letting his jeans fall to the floor. Jace stands back to take off his own pants as Chip resumes sucking my breast, this time the left one, and lazily trails his hand up and down my inner thigh.
Chip moves down and begins slowly pushing a finger in and out, while Jace kisses my neck, teasing my nipple with his deft fingers. His breath tickles my ear, making me shiver and ache to be filled.
Both men repeat how beautiful I am, how sexy, how wild and free. It’s mind-blowing—not just the admiration but the feeling of two men devoting themselves to my pleasure. I’m all sensation, between the constant teasing between my legs and the relentless tugging on my breasts and nipples.
Two fingers start to move inside me, and Jace teases not only my nipple but my clit as the pleasure overwhelms me and I come, moaning and shaking.
They are both hard, and I wonder how to decide who will get satisfied first. Then I think of a more creative solution. I pull Chip’s manhood toward my wet, slick opening, and guide him inside as I grasp Jace’s thick stem, and take it into my mouth. I tease him with my tongue, sucking the underside and then firmly grabbing the base, pumping from the bottom as I suck the top with my mouth. At the same time Chip is filling me with long pushes, getting closer to his climax as I try to match with my movements so Jace can come at the same time.
Both climax hard, Chip inside of me, and Jace on my chest. He squirts onto my neck, the small concave space between my breasts, and over my stomach before it subsides. I am still. Feeling all of the sensations over and over again, but both men quickly dress, then lie on either side of me.
We lie in silence. Then Jace kisses me.
The kiss breaks the peace, as Chip yells “What the hell? We agreed no kissing.”
“Fuck off,” Jace carelessly answers. “She wanted it.”
“No fighting,” I snap, “sitting up. That was amazing, don’t ruin it.”
“We agreed what the limits were,” Chip argues.
“Man, you really need to back off. Sex isn’t about rules and you’re not my boss.”
“Well, technically, I am, Jace. Get the hell out!”
Suddenly, Jace produces a small gun from his jeans, pointing it directly at Chip.
“I think you should leave,”
He pulls the trigger and I scream as Chip sinks to the floor, blood pouring from his chest. My ears ring from the sound of the gun. The world grows hazy, but Jace is tugging on my arm to take me with him and I just sink to the floor by Chip.
Frustrated, Jace eventually leaves the room, and soon after Miss Norris appears. I am still naked, and she covers me with a robe. She says something, but it doesn’t register. My hands are covered with blood, but I just cradle Chip, rocking back and forth. The t-shirt I was holding to his body is steeped in blood, and Miss Norris brings me a clean towel.
A helicopter arrives to medi-vac him to Dallas, but he is pronounced dead when they arrive. The night is a nightmare of blood and police sirens. I have to explain exactly what took place, in excruciating detail. It’s hideous, but all I can think of is Chip’s lifeless body.
By noon the next day they have Jace in custody. He still has the murder weapon and confesses, so the police are confident in their case.
This is my nightmare. I left Texas so that Chip could have the job he loved and I am back for less than a week and he dies.
Miss Norris makes her most delicious meals, but I can’t eat. Even seeing Penny reminds me of riding with Chip. The last part I loved about the ranch is dead.
Mr. Reed is kind enough to visit me at the ranch, and doesn’t ask any questions not related to business. I’m relieved. It’s mechanical, the process of cutting my ties in Texas. I sell the businesses and bank that money, which would be enough to never have to work again, but I have other plans.
The ranch I leave to Miss Norris. She is terrified when I tell her, and keeps asking if I’m sure. She was the only one who hinted at the truth about Jace and she cared about the place.
“I’m sure,” I answered. “I know you’ll take good care of it.”
She cries, explaining she hasn’t seen her family in a while, trying to keep up with things, and now she can bring them to her. It is the best decision I could have made.
I ask the cowboys to exercise Penny every once in a while, and when they ask if I wouldn’t rather bring her, I’m too choked up to explain, but I think they understand.
The ride back to the airport is worlds away from the ride in. I sit in silence, in the back of a town car. The a/c is on, because the windows make an awful noise in the back when they’re lowered. And the sky is cloudy.
I could be a zombie, as I walk through the airport and board. My mind just repeats every interaction with Jace, wondering how I hadn’t suspected, hadn’t guessed this could happen. He was mysterious and mischievous, I’d known that, but everything had gone so far past a prank.
Months go by in Miami, until I hear the verdict: guilty. He is sentenced to life imprisonment. More details of the trial and testimony leak in the coming weeks. Apparently, Jace wanted to be the owner of the ranch, so he had planned to seduce me and then propose. Chip was an unexpected complication, because of our history. And it seemed that Jace actually began to love me. None of this mattered, because he still got the gun with the intention to kill Chip. It wasn’t supposed to happen in front of me, because I would obviously never marry him after that.
I still feel sick, thinking of how I enjoyed that attention, allowed it to happen, and reveled in being wanted by both men at once. Now I can’t bear the attention. Reporters still call asking for comments or interviews. Miami isn’t far enough to escape what happened, and after the trial is settled, I make sure my passport is in order. I want to be as far away from Texas and cowboys as possible.