Romance: Mail Order Bride "The Ideal Bride" Clean Christian Western Historical Romance (Western Mail Order Bride Short Shorties Series) (189 page)

Chapter Four

“Did you imagine that it would be easy, girly?  You seem like a sweet one and I believe you’ve got a solid head on your shoulders, but if you believed that, you’ve got to be downright daft.  I don’t mean to hurt you, just to tell you the way it looks to me.”

Sacha laughed merrily and went right on helping the wonderful Mrs. Walden make the week’s bread.  She understood that while the older woman’s words were harsh, they came from a place of love and love only.  Women like Mrs. Walden (who reminded Sacha very much of her Irish grandmother, easily the most formidable of all of the formidable women Sacha had ever known) didn’t beat around the bush with things and that was something that Sacha had grown to appreciate greatly over her some four, no, almost five months on the Monroe ranch.  Five months!  Had it really been so long?  Five months and she felt no closer to cracking the man who was to be her husband than she had on that very first day.  If a person could be made up entirely of riddles, that’s exactly what Thomas’s insides would have been comprised of.  He was brooding and sometimes sullen and just as apt to change his mood from one moment to the next as another man might be to change his shirt. 

That was the most maddening part of it for Sacha, if she was forced to pick one thing only.  It was how inconsistent things were between the two of them.  Because contrary to all things she had considered (and she was rapidly learning not to expect anything in particular of any given situation), she had fallen for Thomas Monroe quickly.  There was something about the way he stood apart from things that made her heart go out to him.  He had the air of a person who had suffered and who could not quite find it within himself to rejoin the world at large.  It was something she could identify with and something that made her dearly wished to soothe him, if only he would let her.  But his feelings for her could only be described as inconsistent, and that was if she chose to look at things with a glass-half-full kind of a disposition, something she hadn’t done much of after her ill-fated engagement ball.  It seemed to Sacha that there were these moments when Thomas would forget to be weary of her, and in those moments he was delighted with her.  He would load his pipe and sip a mug of ale, leaning back beside the fire and coming down from a day of hard work and she would sit as close to him as she dared, hanging on every smile and laugh he doled out.  Those moments made her heart flutter inside of her chest and they were the thing that gave her hope that there might be a true marriage between them.  It was a good thing, too, because the rest of the time he spent either looking on her with distaste or ignoring her completely. 

And the real rub of it all, the thing she would gladly shove inside of the erstwhile empty Pandora’s box, was that it was almost surely Thomas’s unpredictability with her that allowed her to grow to love him.  She had asked for a man who did not fall all over himself to tell her how beautiful she was, who hardly seemed to value that at all.  In Thomas, that was exactly what she had found.  As far as Sacha could tell, Thomas had hardly ever looked at her, let alone decided that he found her to be appealing to the eye.  When he interacted with her, even in those times when he seemed happy to have her near, it never seemed to have anything to do with her loveliness.  There was nothing about the way he dealt with her that made her feel decorative.  He would talk to her about his favorite books, about God, about all manner of things no man had ever been interested enough in her to ask.  He would do those things and she would begin to feel herself glow from the inside out.  But then he would get that same queer look on his face that she had seen that very first day and he would be gone, picking himself up and taking himself somewhere she dared not follow.  He had given her a large and lovely bedroom in the sprawling house (as was only fit for two people not yet married) and that was where she would go after he disappeared.  She would pace the room and ask herself what she was doing in this place to begin with.  Was she really so eager to be hurt all over again?  And this time would be so much worse!  This time she truly cared for the man and his not wanting her would hurt more than she cared to think about. He hadn’t once spoken of when their actual wedding might be, not once, and seeing as it was he who put the advertisement in the paper to begin with, she was fairly certain that this wasn’t a good sign.  Perhaps he just didn’t want her.  It was a perfectly viable explanation.  Just because she was taken with him did not mean by any means that he felt that same way about her.

“Where’d you go now, girl?  I suppose this is what you meant when you spoke of your kinfolk thinking of you as flighty.  You really do have a habit of going off inside of yourself, don’t you?”

“I do,” Sacha said sheepishly, not minding discussing that kind of thing with Mrs. Walden one bit, “sometimes I get caught up inside of my own thoughts.”

“And do your thoughts happen to have anything to do with what I’m talking about?  With Mr. Monroe?”

“They might.”  Cheeks burning, unable to even look at the woman she was rapidly starting to think of as a kind of surrogate mother.  The two of them had spent hours in the kitchen on this particular day talking on and off about all kinds of things.  Thomas was going on a trip to see some people he was considering doing work with and he would be gone for at least a couple of weeks.  They were preparing things for him to take with him, and almost all of Sacha’s thoughts turned to him whether she wanted them to or not.

“Things haven’t always been so easy for him, you know.  Things haven’t gone according to his plans any more than things have gone according to yours.”

Sacha continued to knead the dough, the rhythmic motion of it soothing her.  She hardly dared to breathe for fear that doing so might stop Mrs. Walden from her talking.  But she went on, determined to say her piece.

“You aren’t the first woman he brought out this way to be the bride on this ranch.  I know it’s not a romantic notion, not being the first, but there you have it.  Things aren’t always the kind of romantic we want them to be, not out here in the real world.”

“No, I suppose they aren’t.  But if I’m not the first, what happened?  Why is it that he’s not already married?”

“Mr. Monroe has got to have the worst luck of any man ever to live when it comes to that sort of thing.  I’ve known him since he was only a wee lad and all he ever wanted was a ranch like this one and a little family to call his own.  His own family left much to be desired, I’m afraid.  His parents were...troubled, and I’ll speak no more on that, so don’t ask.  And don’t you go asking him, neither.”

“I won’t,” she responded quickly, wanting badly for this woman she so admired to trust her, “not ever.”

“Right.  Anyway.  A family and a home like this, those were the things he longed for, and he has one of them, owns it right out.  But the other, that wasn’t so easy for him.  The first girl he loved, when he was hardly over eighteen, that poor thing died of a sickness of the lungs that got worse and worse until there wasn’t any hope.  He was determined never to involve himself with another woman again, and even when he decided that wasn’t practical he wasn’t willing to go out and court a woman.  So he took to the classifieds the way he found you, only that didn’t work for him either.”

“But why?  I don’t understand.”

“You’ve stayed on this land for longer than any of the others.  They all go.  The way Thomas is, they can’t take it, I suppose.  That or they expect to be pampered and run when they discover that working a ranch is actually hard work.  That’s what he’s worried about when it comes to you.”

“Me?” Sacha asked with shock, surprised to find that he had talked about her with anyone at all. “He’s worried about me?”

“Of course he is.  We’ve never had a woman half so grand as you answer the advert.  You with your regal disposition and fine things.  He can’t believe that a woman like you could ever take to the ranch life, and who could blame him?  You don’t exactly seem cut out for it, do you?”

“No,” she said with a sad, thoughtful voice, “I suppose I don’t.”

“Right.  That’s what I thought.”

The sound of Thomas’s deep voice startled both women badly, Mrs. Walden letting out a funny little screech and clutching at her throat while Sacha dropped the plate in her trembling hand.  The sound of the glass breaking only made her tremble more.  It was too close, reminded her too much of the way things had unfolded in that kitchen when her entire future had unraveled.  Only this time it was Thomas walking in and hearing something he did not like.  But oh, the thing he had heard!  She wanted to call out, to scream at the top of her lungs that what he thought he had heard was not what she’d meant to say!  There was so much she could explain, not the least of which was that she was almost certain that she was head over heels in love with him.  She wanted to speak but her throat felt as dry as a desert and she could not get a single word out.  Thomas’s face only grew darker and she knew that he was going to walk out and leave her there before he ever even spoke.

“Right.  I’ve got to go now.  I expect there’s a good chance you won’t be here when I get back.  That’s fine.  That’s better.  It’s got to be better that way.”

And that was it.  He was gone, not even bothering to take the basket of treats they had so lovingly put together for him.  There was no amount of care that could console her.  She sat, wrapped in a shawl to protect her against the rapidly increasing cold, in front of the large fireplace completely mute.  Long after her tears had run dry and the rest of the household had gone to bed, she sat in that same place.  She sat there for so long that when she heard the cry from the front stoop, she was certain she must have gone mad.  She must have.  It was impossibly late and so very cold and there was no way a baby could really be outside of her door.  Except that the crying continued until she stood, willing to entertain the madness if only for a moment, and drew back the latch of the door.  What she saw there made her gasp, the shawl dropping forgotten to the floor, as she looked at the child who would change the rest of her life.

Chapter Five

“Shh, shh, there there, little lord.  Little Charlie.  Don’t fret.  There’s a whole big world out there for you to explore, you’ve only to take it.”

“And learn to walk.  Walking should help him along in his adventures, I would think.”

Sacha let out a delighted laugh and looked away from Charlie and up towards Mrs. Walden with a smile that made her entire face radiant.  The act of doing so was surprisingly hard.  Never had Sacha imagined that looking away from a creature could be as difficult as she found it to look away from this beautiful baby boy, but it actually brought her physical pain to do so.  There was something magical in his perfect pink face and the bright blue eyes peering up at her with the kind of curiosity she herself had always felt.  His little shock of dark hair stuck out every which way and his wild arms waved in the air, simply refusing to stay put inside of his swaddling blanket.  He had a set of lungs on him, this little boy, and a will that could not be broken.  Sacha still had no idea how long he had waited on the front doorstep before he started to cry, and she shuddered just to think about it.  Imagine all of the terrible things that could have happened to him there!  Such a tiny little boy, no more than six months old, left to die or survive as he chose out in the cold by a stranger’s door.  If Sacha hadn’t been up and heartbroken, there was a very good chance the little lad would have died.  That was what the doctor had told them when he came to deliver a perfectly clean bill of health.  Sacha, although she hadn’t voiced the opinion, thought of him as her little miracle baby.  He was a gift from God sent to her in her darkest hour and she was sure that he had saved her every bit as much as she had saved him.  It had been Charlie who had kept her from fleeing the Monroe ranch without ever seeing Thomas again.  It would have been the easier thing, that was for sure.  What was her alternative?  To wait there for him to come back and tell her that he hadn’t been joking?  That he wanted her to go so he could try to find a wife he liked better?  That would have ripped her apart from the inside out.  She had no doubt that she would have left within a matter of days just to avoid that very distinct possibility, but then she had discovered Charlie and everything had changed.  It was like time had stopped.  While her heart still ached any time she thought of Thomas and the way he had looked at her before he had walked out, she so consumed with her love of Charlie that it hurt less.  That, and the rapid course of infant care Mrs. Walden spent each day instructing her in.  Because the entire household fell in love with Charlie, not just Sacha.  Unbeknownst to its occupants, there had been a hole in the heart of the Monroe Ranch and it was Charlie who had filled it.

“Yes, Mrs. Walden, and learn to walk.  We must teach him that someday too.  And we will!”

“Yes dear, we will.  But first the milk, yes?  We’ve got to help him to grow if he’s going to conquer the world.”

Sacha laughed again and nodded a thanks to Mrs. Walden as she bustled away towards the kitchen to fetch the baby his supper.  Charlie blinked up at her and then offered a wide smile, which only made Sacha laugh delightedly all over again.  She picked him up in both hands, surprised as she was every time by the hefty weight of his squirming little body, and held him up in the air.  It was their little game.  She would bounce him and he would laugh and then so would she.  It was a simple game, and as far as Sacha was concerned it was the best thing in the whole world.

“Well hello.  It seems we have a new guest.”

If such a thing was possible, Sacha’s heart both rose and fell at the same time.  It was Thomas.  He had come home, and what a thing for him to find upon his arrival!  Not only was she still there after he had made it clear he didn’t want her there anymore, but now she had a baby with her as well!  She was almost too afraid to look at him, but at the same time she knew that she had no other choice.  Because it wasn’t just about her anymore, was it?  She may not have expected it unmarried and she may never have considered it coming to her so quickly, but she had a son now and she needed to take care of him as well as her own heart. 

“Thomas,” she said uncertainly, happy to see that his eyes were warm and friendly but still unsure what his feeling for this new development might be, “you’re back!  I’m glad.  I mean that you’re safe.  That you’ve come home.  To your home, that is.”

“To my home?”

“Well, yes, isn’t that right?  I’m sorry I haven’t gone yet.  I was going to, I don’t want you to think that I’m disrespecting your wishes for your house, it’s just that this little darling appeared on the front stoop and kept everything stalled.  I’ll make plans to go now that you’re back.”

“
Our
home.”

He spoke quietly and for a moment she wasn’t sure that she had heard him correctly.  She couldn’t have.  It would have been the only time he had ever spoken of the two of them as a unit that belonged together, and that couldn’t be true.  He had said that it would be best if she went.  She had to keep reminding herself of that so that her heart did not fill with hope that would not be fulfilled.  She could not do that to herself again.  But even as she tried to steel herself for the separation that was surely to come, Thomas was walking slowly towards her and the baby.  She could still see that look of warmth on his face and it made her want to melt into the floor, to fling her arms around his neck and tell him that she loved him, she loved him and she would work as hard as she possibly could if only he would give her a chance.  She didn’t dare, however, hardly dared to breath, completely sure that she was faking his tenderness to comfort her.  This had to be the eye of the storm, the part where everything felt calm before it all fell apart.  It had to be that, it had to be.  She held her breath and told herself that it had to be that way.

“Did you hear me, Sacha?”

“I-I don’t know.  I thought I heard something, but...but no.  It couldn’t have been what I thought.”

“I said that it’s
our
home.  If you still want it to be.”

“Is it?”

And then Sacha Clarkson, soon to be Mrs. Monroe (although she wasn’t yet entirely certain about that), began to cry.  She would think to herself later that her doing so surprised her more than it did Thomas and Charlie combined.  Little Charlie, who only smiled at her tears and reached up to play with their glistening wonder.  She could see Mrs. Walden start to come into the room with Charlie’s milk, stop at the sight of the three of them standing beside the fireplace, and then flitted back into the kitchen from whence she had come.  Thomas closed the rest of the distance between him and Sacha and gently, so gently, took Charlie out of her arms.  The two boys, one grown and one very far from it, gazed at each other for a moment or two and then baby Charlie began to laugh.  He reached his hands up and tugged on Thomas’s beard, upon which Thomas Monroe began to laugh as well.

“Sacha, I owe you an apology.  I can’t ever apologize enough, I don’t imagine, but I promise you that I’ll try my best if you’ll let me.  You see, I don’t want you to go.  I
never
wanted you to go.  From pretty much the minute you showed up here with that ridiculous wagon you had taken it upon yourself to buy, I knew you were the one I wanted.  That’s why I did my best to keep away from you.”

“Because you
liked
me?”

“I know,” he shook his head as if he was every bit as flummoxed as she was, “it doesn’t make a lick of sense now that I say it out loud, but there it is, just the same.  I looked at you and I knew that you were too precious for a place like this and I was afraid that if I got too close I would love you and you would leave.  And wouldn’t you know it,  I went and fell in love with you anyway.  When I heard you and Mrs .Walden in the kitchen, I was sure that was when you would decide you wanted to go.  That’s why I said what I did.  Thought it would be easier if I told you to go, I guess.”

“But you don’t want me to?”

“To go?  No!  Not even close.  What I want is to marry you, tomorrow, if not sooner.  If you want to make a life with me here, I can’t think of anything I’d like more.  Can’t think of anything I’ve ever wanted more, to tell you the truth.  You and me and baby--”

“Charlie” Sacha interjected happily, struggling now only with the feeling that all of this must be too good to be true.

“You and me and baby Charlie, a little family.  I think you’re just about the most fascinating woman I’ve ever known, and if I don’t bore you too much in return I think we might just be happy here.  I think we might just be really happy.”

“I think we might be, too,” Sacha whispered.  The thing she felt inside was no longer disbelief.  The thing she felt settling inside of her chest now felt a lot like peace.
                  

THE END

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