Romance: Duplicity (Duplicity New Adult Romance Book 1) (9 page)

I change quickly, pulling on my running shoes while there's still enough afternoon light. Out on the Heath, my puffs of warm breath create a misty trail in the cold air as I pound for what seems like hours, until darkness really does start to fall and finally the fog that’s been blocking my brain for the last 24 hours begins to lift. I stop, bending over to catch my breath, and start to see sense.

It's not as if I've been sacked. Bill told me to take a few days off, big deal. He's right, I do need it. As for the Henderson pitch, I hope Nick chokes on it. I'm not getting dragged down by some guy, ever again. No matter how much I like him. Liked him.

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. Work, Nick, Adam ... I might as well enjoy the unexpected break. What hurts most is the way Nick behaved. He well and truly took me for a ride. Adam was right, after all.

Last night with Adam was an unexpected turn of events. Dear Adam, texting constantly today to check on me and to declare his undying love. He really is a darling. So sweet. I ought to give him a chance.

So why can't I stop thinking about Nick?

There's only one thing for it. I run back to the flat as fast as I can, and am inside just long enough to change into jeans and a warm jumper. The overnight bag I had packed for Nick's is still in the hall, where Adam must have left it last night when we got home. Money, keys, bag, phone. Check. Pulling on my coat, I slam the door and run down the steps. It's not running away. It's just going home.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

At King's Cross station, my heart is light as I walk down the platform and step on the train. Finding a window seat, I look out at the bright lights of the city at night. The multi-coloured cityscape soon turns to black, and the motion of the train lulls me towards sleep. Before I close my eyes, I send a text and turn my phone to silent.

When I step off the train in Leeds a couple of hours later, it's like I'm in a time and place much further away than the distance travelled. The flashing of my iphone screen is the only reminder of the world I've just left behind. It's an international number, and it can only be one person. The one person I've been waiting to hear from for nearly two days. My heart beats faster, and I waiver, tempted to answer. It takes all my willpower not to. For a few more seconds I stare at the phone sadly, in self-paralysis, until the flashing stops. Too bloody late, mate. No second chances.

I switch the phone off and with a grim smile I scan the platform for a familiar face. "Over here, Holly!" I hear my mum's excited voice before I see her, and follow the hand waving frantically in the air over by the exit gate.

When I get there, her comforting arms swallow me in a hug, and she looks concerned as she brushes a finger under my eye and across my cheek.

"Why are you crying, dear?"

"Because I'm so glad to be home." And I am.

***

As always, my parent’s house is cosy and comforting, the one constant in my life. Stuck in a time-warp, the décor hasn't changed since I was a child. It's late when we get there, and mum fills a hot water bottle for each of us. "Go on up to bed," Mum instructs, “we'll talk properly in the morning. It's way past my usual bedtime, love."
 

Dad is his usual self, a man of few words. I know he is worried by my sudden unannounced appearance in the land that time forgot, but he's delighted to see me nonetheless. "You look tired, dear. Will I bring you up a cup of tea? No? Alright then. In the morning I'll show you the greenhouse."

Regressing to childhood and tucked up in my old bed, a wave of tiredness overcomes me. For the first time in days my heart is calm, my mind at peace. I feel safe and loved, and know that everything will be all right.

In the morning I stand in the kitchen with my backside against the Aga, drinking tea, as Mum and I catch up. I give her the abridged account of the last few weeks, more than I've told her on the phone, but omitting the graphic details.

When I've finished, she shakes her head and sighs. "Oh Holly love, I think Nick sounds like a cad. He's used you for his own ends. It's just as well for Adam. He’s such a lovely young man." Mum has met Adam a few times, and thinks he’s the bee’s knees.

"Then why do I feel so sad, Mum? I feel really bad about Adam, but I just don't know if he's right for me."

"Just tell Adam the truth, Holly, that's what he deserves," says Mum, stirring the cake mix for her weekly baking. "Hold your head high at work, and damn Van Hooden."

I stifle a giggle. "Mum, it's Van Hoogen."

"Van Tootin, Shootin, Poopin. Whatever his name is, you're too good for him."

She hands me the wooden spoon, and I lick the cake batter, just like when I was a kid. I know she's right.

I find Dad in the greenhouse at the bottom of the garden, tending his beloved plants. He puffs up with pride as I enter his little kingdom.

"Hi Dad, can I help you with anything?"

"No, no, just you sit here, love, and we'll have a chat." He dusts off the faded cushion on a white plastic seat, and motions me to sit. The Archers is playing on the radio in the background. Dad produces a flask and plastic cups, and reaches behind a bag of compost where he's hidden an old round tin. Opening the tin, his face lights up as he passes it to me with a conspiratorial smile.

"Don't tell your mother. She thinks I've given up."

We tuck into the chocolate biscuits and Jelly Babies, and I transgress back to childhood once more.

"So, what's this boy trouble all about then?" Dad asks. "Anything I can help with?" Judging by the look on his face, I can tell he doesn't want to have this personal conversation with his twenty-three year old daughter, but bless him for asking.

I hesitate, then smile, putting him at ease. "It's fine, Dad. Just a wobbly about a guy in work. Nothing I can't handle."

"That's my girl." He squeezes my hand. "These lads today, they don't know how to treat a lady. Just you come back here and stay here with us and never get married, eh?"

"Don't worry. I don't have a boyfriend, and I've definitely no plans to get married. I do need to get back to work in a few days, though."

"Good girl. I know you do, but don't rush yourself. That place won't fall down without you. Now you're here you may as well stay a while. It's great to see you, Holly. We do miss you, you know."

My eyes well up at my dad's simple declaration of love. We potter for hours, until Mum calls us in.

The next few days pass too quickly, a blur of home cooking, walking on the moors, and peaceful sleep.

It's Thursday when I decide it's time to go back and face the music.

CHAPTER TWENTY

It's raining on the way back to London, and the bleak weather matches my mood as I say goodbye and board the train. I find a seat with a table to rest my coffee and magazines. My phone, switched off since I arrived, is staring at me like the enemy, but I know I have to turn it on again. Sure enough, as soon as I do, all hell breaks loose. Countless texts from Adam, Tara, a voice message from work, and one short voicemail from Nick.

"Holly. This is Nick. Call me. It's urgent." He sounds distant, sad. I'm sad too, but I'm not calling him. I'll have to see him soon enough, but for now he will just have to wait.

I doze off, and awake to the sound of a phone vibrating. Of course, the device buzzing across the table is mine. I open my eyes to sighs and glares from my fellow passengers. I had switched it to silent, good train etiquette anywhere else, but not good enough in Yorkshire it seems. I bow my head to avoid any eye contact, and quickly answer the phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

There's silence for a few moments, then the sound of the voice that broke my heart.

"Holly, its Nick. Please, don’t hang up. I need to talk to you."

Several people in the busy train carriage are staring. As I meet their eyes they look away. I don't want to have this conversation here, in public, on a train, of all places.

"I can't talk now," and I can hear myself speaking in my coldest, haughtiest, work voice. Everyone within earshot must think I'm a right bitch. "I'm on the train to London."

"I know," replies Nick, and his voice sounds loud, closer than it should be. "I really need to speak to you now."

The woman sitting opposite me is looking at me, then at the man standing in the aisle on his phone beside our table. And I look up, and the man I'm on the phone to sits down beside me, and we stare at each other, still holding our phones. And then the phone goes dead, and he's kissing me, and I can feel my heart coming alive again.

***

Nick pulls me by the hand towards the First Class section at the front of the train. His strong touch sends thrills through my body. We stop and sit in a quiet carriage, just the two of us, away from the hullaballoo.

"Holly, we really need to talk." Nick looks awful. Unshaven, his hair is unkempt and his suit crumpled.

"You don't say!" I respond with mock indignation but I'm so happy to see him all I can do is lean forward to kiss him, but Nick draws away.

"No, Holly stop, you must listen." Nick's eyes are lifeless, and dread fills the air as I wonder what on earth could have caused him to be in this state. Not me, surely?

"Ok then, start talking," I command, serious now, because I'm scared of the bombshell that I sense is coming.

"I'm sorry, Holly," starts Nick, "I haven't been entirely truthful with you." He rubs his chin, his eyes seeking mine to check my reaction.

"Go on." My voice is soft and encouraging, because however much I feel cold inside, I can tell that Nick is hurting, and whatever he is about to say is difficult for him.

"Remember you asked me if I had a wife, that day at the park?"

I nod. Of course I bloody remember. "You said that you didn't, Nick. Is that true?"

He shakes his head. "I'm married, Holly, but I don't have a wife, not really - not any more. The woman I married has gone."

I'm confused. "You mean, she left you? Why didn't you just say?"

Nick sighs, reaching out, and I let him take my hands in his. "I married Sarah five years ago, she was my college sweetheart. Technically she's still alive, Holly, in a private medical facility in New York. She's been in a coma for over eighteen months. There was a skiing accident, she hurt her head …" Nick's voice cracks, and I can feel his cold and clammy hands shaking. I give them a squeeze, waiting for him to continue, unsure if that's it or if there's more.

"That's why I've been back and forward to New York. The doctors have said that there's permanent brain damage, that she may be incapacitated forever. I can't bear to see her like that, and I know it's not what she would have wanted. I have Power of Attorney, and agreed for the doctors to turn her life support system off."

Horrified at the story that is unfolding, all I can do is nod. A dying secret wife? "That must be a huge decision, Nick, I'm sorry. But why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie to me?"

Nick sinks his head in his hands, and his body shudders. Looking up again, he continues.

"That's not all, Holly. Sarah's parents have contested the decision and started legal proceedings against me. Sarah's father is a wealthy businessman with political aspirations. He's using the case as a way to get publicity and public sympathy. They're even suggesting I was involved in her accident in some way and want her dead for the inheritance. In the meantime Sarah’s still lying there, lifeless."

The news has hit me like a brick in my stomach, and bile suddenly rises in my throat. But I'm still more worried about Nick than the fact that I might throw up at any second.

"Oh Nick, I'm so sorry. You should have told me. But what are you going to do?"

"I left New York for London to get away from it all. I've already said my goodbyes to Sarah, a long time ago when I realised she wasn't coming back. And then I met you, Holly." Nick searches my face for reassurance, and to my relief my stomach seems to settle.

"What are you saying, Nick? I'm not sure I understand." I don't care if I sound stupid, but I need to be crystal clear about where I fit in all this.

"I wanted to start a new life in London, Holly. And I fell for you when I least expected it. And now I can't imagine a future without you. But it hasn’t been so easy to walk away from my old life. I was arrested several weeks ago and questioned by the police in New York about Sarah's accident."

"Oh my god, that was true? I though Adam was making that up!" The words are out before I can stop myself, and I cover my mouth with my hand, too late to take them back.

Nick smiles now, a sad smile. "Yes, it's all true. I know what the gossip's like in Cathwell's. Bill knows what's going on, and unfortunately he's been instrumental in this monumental fuck up. The Henderson thing Holly, it was all just a cover to get me back to New York. It’s been touch and go with Sarah. She took a turn for the worse last week and I had to rush back before she …" Nick closes his eyes briefly and swallows before he goes on.

"...and by the time I got away from the hospital you'd disappeared off the face of the earth. I've been trying to track you down all week and that's how I ended up here, in the middle of nowhere, stalking you on a train."

"And Sarah?" I ask, "Is she...?"