Role Play (32 page)

Letting go and letting him decide was so much easier.
Even if it was only for one blessed night of relief.

I sighed and relaxed, and he rewarded me by hugging me tightly from behind. He knew the mental struggle I had
just gone through. He knew he had won.

Victor ran his hand up
under my skirt, up to my hip. Slipping the hook under the side of my thong, he gave a tug and it separated with hardly a sound. He changed hands and did it to the other side. “It’s used for cutting rope quickly when something goes wrong.”

He reached around to
my front and put his hand over my mound, rubbing his fingers down into the silky hair. The thong separated and fell. With a flick of his hand, he dropped the cut up thong to the floor. His fingers were slick from the priming he had done to me.

My
thighs separated slightly, inviting him in further. He sank his finger into my cleft, drawing a moan from me. My clit slipped under his slick fingers as he rubbed it, and my moans turned into cries.

I
didn’t care anymore what he did to me in the bathroom. I wanted him inside of me
now
. “Please, Victor! Please…”

“You want me to fuck you?” he asked harshly, his mouth against
my ear.

“Yes! Please,
Victor!”

I
felt I existed only to please him, to be filled by him. That the only thing that mattered was being his.

He pulled back, and
I thought he was going to satisfy me.

Instead he said, “Come with me.”

Chapter 29

Victor

I had to tear myself away from her. I wanted nothing more than to give her what she asked for right there between the sinks. But that’s what I always did. I fucked her instead of truly possessing her.

So
I did what I had to do. I pulled away again. Leaving her vulnerable, confused, under my control. I had toyed with her all night, delighting in her reaction.

I
had her in the palm of my hand. She was glassy-eyed from arousal, and driven to the peak of frustration. I had to steady her as I led her from the bathroom.

I
took her over to a couch in a darkened corner, but before she could sit down, I grabbed a cushion and dropped it on the floor. “Sit,” I quietly ordered.

She looked down at it for a moment, but
I didn’t have to urge her. She sank gracefully down to sit at my feet.

I
pulled her head against my knee, stroking her hair as I tried to cool myself off. I wanted nothing more than to drag her up on the couch and bury my cock inside of her. But I couldn’t share that with everyone here. She belonged to me alone. And while I would show her off, I would only give others a taste of her.

But she nuzzled her way between
my legs, her breath hot through my pants, turning so her mouth was against my cock that strained against my pants. With the mask over her eyes, she was still completely Sierra. I never imagined her as someone else.

I
twined my fingers in her hair as she pressed her hot mouth against the mound of my hard-on.

“You would suck me off here?”
I asked hoarsely. “With everyone watching?”

“Yes.” Her eyes glinted
through the mask in animal hunger.

“You would do anything I say?”
I asked.

“
Yes.
”

My
voice hardened. “Then kiss my boot.”

Her mouth opened in a gasp.
I knew that it wouldn’t be easy for her to kneel down to me and kiss my foot in the middle of the Masquerade. It would be even harder than giving me a blow job.

That’s why
I wanted it.

With her breasts heaving, she backed up slowly. She glanced down at
my polished boots, then back up at me. I waited on edge, knowing I was asking a lot of her, maybe too much. If she resisted, the spell would break. She was not one to fight against her submission. She needed to dive into it like someone who was fearless in leaping off a cliff.

But
I had to know if it was true. Did she belong to me?

She pulled back her cushion and settled her knees, leaning over with her entire body
. In one graceful motion she placed her lips against the top of my boot. I could feel her press her mouth into the leather to feel my foot inside. Then before I could say anything, she rose and sank again, kissing my other boot.

My
heart swelled as she sat up on her heels, smiling shyly up at me. She was giving herself to me, no holding back, no second thoughts. She trusted me…

E
ven though she shouldn’t.

I
had a golden collar in my pocket, but I suddenly knew I couldn’t put it on her. Not while the lies were still between us. It would make a mockery of everything we had done if I collared her while she didn’t know the truth about me. Even if it was only for one night while we were masked.

My
finger touched her mask. Why was it easier this way? Maybe it was the barrier between us that allowed me to let go completely.

I
took her by the hand and led her through the Masquerade. I wanted nothing more than to get out of here, to run off with her alone. Every vaguely familiar face was threatening, was someone who could break the spell I had woven between us. So I rushed off into the night, my only desire to get her home.

She
dashed after me, her hand outstretched in mine as I drew her along. I ducked into a cab with her, giving my address, and then turned on her with a voraciousness that surprised us both. I kissed her mouth, her face, her neck, biting and pulling her flesh with my teeth until she cried out. I didn’t care about the cabbie, I was barely restraining myself from doing more.

She drowned under
my assault, her fingers pressing against my chest as she tried to breathe. I pulled her across my lap, holding her tightly as I kissed her. The noise of the cars, the honking and sounds of the city disappeared in her lips.

I
pulled it together long enough to make it into my building and up the stairs with her. I had been mugged before, and I wouldn’t let that happen while I was with Sierra.

But we
were barely through the door of my apartment before I was kissing her again, my hands popping the hooks on her corset. She was pulling up my shirt and unbuckling my belt, as I jerked down her skirt.

She raised her hand to
swipe off her mask, but I stopped her.

A
little more time, that’s all I needed. Before I had to tell her the truth.

She stopped, her eyes questioning, stilled by
my refusal.

The mask hid what she was thinking. For the first time, I wasn’t sure about her. She stood there wearing only her long peasant blouse and her stockings, while I had on my pants with my shirt off.

And
our masks.

My
hand cupped her neck, and I drew her closer. “
You’re mine.
”

Her chin jerked, as if instinctively denying it. She was fighting
me.

I
brought her forehead to meet mine, my hand still around the back of her neck. It was vivid in my mind how she had surrendered to me the first night I had met her. It was wrong to get so turned on from frightening her, from convincing her that I held her life in my hands. But she had given herself over to me completely, and I took her.

Just like
I wanted to take her now, and plunge into her, claiming her for my own.

“
You’re mine,” I repeated hoarsely.

“No…,” she barely whispered.

In surprise, I drew back to look into her eyes, that were suddenly swimming with tears. She was crying! She couldn’t be crying now, but she was!

But I
didn’t hurt her.

S
he was crying and looking up at me as if I had. “I wish it was true,” she managed to say.

My
fingers tightened on her arms. “It is.”

“No
, it’s not. And you know it.”

I stared at her.

“This is just a game you’re playing with me,” Sierra told me. “This isn’t real.”

I
felt the ground drop beneath my feet. It was true. I had created the Victor persona for her to fall for, the millionaire master every girl wanted.

Is this what it had come to?
I would have to confess at the height of our scene? Destroy everything I had built for her throughout the night?

I
reached for Sierra and slipped the mask up to wipe her tears. I felt the familiar jolt in my cock at seeing her so vulnerable, as the knowledge burned along my nerves, setting me on fire.

Maybe
I was torturing her for my own pleasure. Maybe I was that messed up, needing to see her suffer to prove that she would stick by me. But she could sense the walls between us. Instincts couldn’t be denied.

And neither could
my raging hard-on.

Touching her face, separated by a
wall between us that I couldn’t ignore, I had to admit the truth. “I’m not really Victor. I’m Vic.”

I
pulled off my mask, letting it drop behind me.

She blinked up at
me, her eyes enormous from the tears. “What do you mean?”

“You were right the first night we met. I was born in New Jersey
. I grew up there. I was so mad that you called me on it, in that snide way, and that’s why I scared you. Because you reminded me of all that.”

“All what?”

I raised my eyes to the ceiling. “I wasn’t beaten or abused. Maybe you’d understand that. I was ignored. I didn’t exist. I still don’t…”

“You don’t
exist?” Sierra asked slowly.

“I know it doesn’t seem possible, but this man you’ve gotten to know isn’t me.”

“In some ways, I feel like I hardly know you.”

“What is there to say? I grew up dirt poor
and abandoned. My sister… is really my mother. Until I was thirteen, I thought my grandparents were my parents. Until I finally saw my birth certificate, and then it made sense. Why none of them liked me or wanted me around. I was shame to my grandparents, a mistake to be erased from my sister’s life. My
mother’s
life. She was fifteen when I was born. They should have given me away. Maybe then I would have had a fair chance.”

I
never expected to make my confession this way. Never imagined telling her my darkest secret. But I had been longing to be honest with her, to find a way to open my heart so she would understand. And it spilled out.

“I’m Vic, not Victor,”
I repeated more firmly. “Nobody, really. I got no education, had no hope of bettering myself. I had to do it all on my own. I never thought I would succeed at anything.”

Sierra put her hands on
my chest. “Vic, I do understand. I had to fend for myself as a kid,
and
take care of Lola. But at least I had my older brothers to help me when I was little. I wasn’t completely alone. That must have been awful.”

I
nodded, putting my arms around her. “It’s the only thing I know, being alone. The one time I tried, that I fell in love, it was a disaster.”

This was it, time to confess it all. That this was Adrianne’s old place, and that
I was only a baggage handler. That I had lied to her from the beginning. Time to turn that shining love in her eyes to disdain. And she would look at me the same way my grandmother looked at me when I came through the kitchen door, as if she wanted to take the broom and sweep me back outside with the garbage.

“Sierra, I’m sorry…
I’m so fucked up. I’ve done horrible things to you. I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me—”

My
chest twisted as I strangled on the next words I had to say.

“It’s okay,” she told
me. She reached up to kiss me softly. “I’m glad you told me. I’ve been longing for this moment, when you opened up to me. Vic…”

I
kissed her back, feeling that unbearable tightness begin to ease. I knew I should say the next words, to admit everything. I had jumped over the present and suddenly bared my soul to her. I never planned on doing that. But I trusted her so much that it had burst out of me.

And now I was filled by her acceptance. That empty place
inside of me overflowed with the love in her eyes. For her to know I was nothing, unwanted by the people who should have wanted me the most, unlovable and unable to love... yet somehow she cared about me even more.

So
I kept on kissing her. In a distant part of my mind, I knew it was wrong. But it was too much for me. I had woven a spell around her all night, keeping myself on a razor’s edge to give her the exhilaration she was seeking. With my emotional release—telling the truth about what twisted me into an imitation of a man—came a relief so great that I couldn’t control myself anymore.