Rogues & Rascals in Goose Pimple Junction (Goose Pimple Junction Mysteries Book 4) (19 page)

Lou smoothed down her multi-colored flower print dress as she walked up to the women. “Well, sure, honey. What’s wrong now?”

“Louis P. Howe just pointed some thinly-veiled threats Caledonia’s way. I’m going with her to report it.”

“Y’all go do that and don’t worry a bit about the store.” Lou blotted her brow with a lacy hanky. “It’s a quiet day in here anyway. G’won, y’all. Turn in that piece of vermin.” She shooed them out the door and then frowned when she looked up the sidewalk and saw Jimmy Dean heading her way. In no mood to mess with the likes of him today, she went inside, locked the door, and changed the sign in the window from “Open” to “Closed.”

Mama always said . . . If you don’t use your head, you might as well have two butts.

J
ohnny was empathetic and took the report seriously. He tried to lighten Caledonia’s stress by saying he wondered if the Howe family tree had more than one branch.

On the walk back to the bookstore, Caledonia got a text from Phil saying he wouldn’t be home until late that night. After he told her his plans, Tess and Caledonia made some of their own. Tess picked up Cal later that evening, and Betty and Al headed for their first stakeout.

Tess drove her dark green “Countryman” Mini Cooper around the town square and past the upscale bar & grill, The Silly Goose, searching for Phil’s car. When she saw his black Infiniti, she parked a block to the south and scanned the area. Phil had told Caledonia he was meeting a friend for drinks and then going to a baseball game. His car was here all right, but who was he with? Tess opened all four windows, turned off the car, and settled in her seat.

“Do you see him?” Caledonia whispered behind Tess.

“I see his car. He must be inside.”

“I’ll text him.” Caledonia came out from under a blanket, her hair mussed.

“Good idea.” Tess glanced in the rearview mirror and giggled at the ridiculousness of Caledonia’s head suddenly popping up with messy hair and wild eyes. “You know there’s no point in hiding until we spot him, right?”

“Just don’t want to take any chances. Plus, I don’t want anyone to walk by and see me. They might mention it to Phil.”

“Good point.”

A few minutes passed and Cal reported, “He texted back. He says he’s having a drink with Pat.”

“So he’s in there. We’ll wait, see who he’s with, and then follow him.” Tess was quiet for a moment and then said, “Is Pat a guy?”

“Yes. No worries.” After a beat, Cal added weakly, “Unless he’s gay.”

It was hard to see the door to the restaurant from where they were parked, so Tess moved the car to the same block as Phil’s and pulled in three spaces down. Trouble was, now they were looking at the restaurant door through Phil’s car, which made it difficult to see. Whenever the restaurant door opened or someone walked past on the sidewalk in front of them, Caledonia retreated under the blanket, and Tess slouched lower in her seat while straining her neck and eyes to see who came out.

When someone parked in the spot right next to Phil’s, it completely blocked their view. Tess moved the car again, this time parking diagonally across from the restaurant. From that vantage point, they had to twist their bodies or crane their necks to see the restaurant door, but they would have a better view of him coming out.

An hour passed and then another thirty minutes. They alternated between having the car on for the benefit of the air conditioning to turning it off and opening all the windows. The temperature outside hovered around ninety, so they turned the car on more frequently than off, especially since Caledonia insisted on hiding under a blanket.

“Do you have enough room back there?” Tess twisted to see her friend. “I don’t know how comfortable the backseat can be for an extended period of time. I guess you’re just lucky Jack talked me into the four-door instead of the two-door.”

“I’m fine. I have enough room. I can even stretch out if I want.” She held up a bat. “But do you want to tell me why you have a bat in your car?”

Tess laughed. “I used to keep it by my bed at night, but since I have Jack to protect me, I keep it in my car. Does that make me paranoid?”

“Not after what you’ve been through, honey. A girl’s gotta protect herself.”

The women sang along to the Dixie Chicks, drank sweet tea, and played the game “I have never, have you ever?”

Tess started it off. “I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, have you ever?”

“Oh yeah, Betty, all the cool kids did back in high school. But I didn’t want smoker’s lips, so I quit after a couple months.”

“Good for you. Okay, Al, your turn.”

Caledonia had one ready. “I have never worn a thong, have you ever?”

Tess laughed. “No. I have never. Now me. I have never . . .” Tess thought for a moment. “ . . . gone skinny-dipping.”

“Heavens no, Betty. That would be unseemly
and
unhealthy.” She ducked down when someone came out of the restaurant, but when Tess said it wasn’t Phil, she continued the game. “My turn now. I have never worn white shoes before Easter or after Labor day, have you ever?”

“Only when I was a bride.” Tess thought for a moment and then said, “I have never changed the oil in my car, have you ever?”

“Not
ever
,” Caledonia said emphatically. “I have never changed a tire, have you ever?”

“Once, and I’ll never do it again.”

They played the game until dusk was setting in. Finally, Caledonia said, “It’s getting late, Betty. We’ve been here for over two hours. He shoulda left by now if he’s going to the game. I’m gonna text him again.”

“What are you going to say?”

“I’m just coming out and asking if he’s still at The Silly Goose.”

A minute or two passed, and then Caledonia read from her iPhone: “No, I left my car there and rode with Pat. We’re at a restaurant not far from the stadium right now. Going to the game soon.”

“Well, shoot.” Tess banged her hand on the steering wheel. You mean we’ve been sitting here all this time, thinking we were gonna tail him, and now we find out he isn’t even here? Some private detectives we are.” She started the car, but Caledonia stopped her.

“Betty, I haven’t had dinner, and I’m betting you haven’t either. Why don’t we treat ourselves to a girls’ night out at The Silly Goose? We’re here. We might as well.”

“That’s why I like having you for a partner. You always have good ideas.”

The women ate, talked, and laughed for over an hour. When they came out, it was pitch-dark.

Tess started the car. As Caledonia reached for the button to put down her window, she asked Tess to open the moonroof and the other windows. “Now that the sun’s gone down, the air feels nice. Let’s ride home with the wind in our hair.”

Tess did so, backed out, and headed down Maple Street, turned left at the stop sign, and started down the lonely country road toward Caledonia’s house. “Well, Al, this was a bust, but we can try again if you want. Do you know any of his plans for the rest of the week?” Tess adjusted the rearview mirror.

“No. He generally doesn’t tell me his plans in advance. I play the game ‘will he or won’t he’ nearly every day.”

“Will he or won’t he what?” Tess’s eyes again went to the rearview mirror, and her brow furrowed.

“Will he or won’t he be home for dinner.” Caledonia peered sideways at her friend. “What’s wrong? You keep looking at that mirror and frowning.” They were out in the middle of nowhere on a dark, lonely country road. Headlights filled the rearview mirror as the car behind them got steadily closer to Tess’s back bumper. Too close.

“There’s an SUV that’s been following us since we left town. Now it’s getting much too close; he’s right on our butt.” She was relieved when it backed off as they rounded a curve. Once onto a straight patch of road, Tess saw the SUV suddenly accelerate. “I—oh no—”

Tess never finished her sentence. They were hit from behind. A loud crash boomed as Caledonia screamed, and their car headed straight for a ditch.

Mama always said . . . By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.