Authors: Jan Tilley
Nodding at Malachi, he looked into his eyes. “Thanks. I appreciate that.” Wiping his face, he began to open up a bit. “Shit’s goin’ down at home. Mom and me are fighting a lot and I got suspended from school. Smoking, how stupid is that? But, other than that, life’s just grand and dandy.” He grinned at Malachi, trying to make light of the subject.
“Life is hard, Travis. Believe me, I know. You can call me anytime, night or day. You’ve got to get yourself together. Take your life back! Don’t let this one stupid incident ruin you. You’re a good kid and I believe in you.” With a friendly pat on the back, he smiled. “Come see me sometime. I sure do miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” Travis’s face softened a bit. “I’ve got a few amulets ready that I’ve been meaning to bring to you. I’ll stop by when I can.”
“I’d like that. Can I give you a ride home?”
Opening the door, Travis shook his head. “No, thanks. I’ll walk.”
“Okay, then. Take care of yourself, son.”
“You too, Malachi.”
And just like that he was gone, darting down a back alley and out of Malachi’s sight. What had happened to him? He looked so different; dark and depressed. Getting in trouble at home and at school, that wasn’t like Travis. Letting out a deep sigh, Malachi couldn’t help but feel responsible. He was well aware of the horrible path the kid was on. He’d ventured down the same path himself. Feeling angry and worthless, to a point where nothing made sense and you just wanted to give up. A familiar, sick feeling began to settle deep in the pit of his stomach.
Ten
A
nother long, lonely week went past. A few tourists stopped by the old mill, but not the visitor that Malachi waited to see. He had just given his angel plant some fresh ash and a good long drink of water. Resting, he sat back in his favorite rocking chair, sipping a tall glass of lemonade, smacking his lips with every sweet, tart gulp. The sour lemons made the back of his jaw twinge.
He heard a vehicle rounding the bend and watched as it slowed and turned onto the mill drive. Creaking across the rickety old bridge, Malachi saw that it was a police car. Parking askew across the small parking lot, Officer Fischer emerged, stretching his arms into the air and then re-tucking his shirt. Looking over, he noticed Malachi sitting outside and waved at him.
Malachi’s heart began to race and his thoughts ran rampant.
What’s going on? Did he know something? Did Travis break down and tell someone?
He breathed deeply, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat and nerves. “Hello, Officer Fischer. How have you been?”
As the officer made his way to the mill, he wiped his brow and his mustached upper lip with a napkin that he’d picked up off the front seat of his squad car. Walking slowly, he shuffled his feet, stirring up a trail of dust behind him. It hadn’t rained in several weeks, not a drop. The earth was parched and the leaves were brittle.
Trying to be friendly, Malachi greeted him, “Good to see you again. Can I interest you in a glass of cold lemonade?”
Fischer nodded and smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Chidester. I do believe that I will take you up on that offer. That’s very kind of you.”
With a warm smile, he replied, “Call me Malachi.”
Fischer followed Malachi through the store and into the small kitchen in the rear of the building. The smell of fresh squeezed lemons permeated the entire kitchen. Filling a tall glass with ice, he topped it off with lemonade, ice cold from the fridge.
Malachi handed the officer the glass and smiled. “What brings you all the way out here, Officer Fischer?”
He drank half the glass down in one long gulp and sighed. “That’s some good stuff, Malachi.”
“Thanks. I squeezed the lemons just this morning. Nothing like fresh lemonade on a warm, dry day.” Trying to be hospitable, Malachi continued, “Would you like to have a seat, Officer?”
He nodded, sat the glass on the table and pulled out a chair. He took another long drink as Malachi joined him at the table. As the officer pulled out his small notebook and a paper from his chest pocket, Malachi refilled his glass with lemonade. He tried not to let on how nervous he was, but he could feel his hands tremble as he placed the glass back down. Forcing his hands underneath the table, he held them together trying to hide the nervous shaking.
Officer Fischer opened a piece of paper and held it out for Malachi to look at. “We’ve got another missing kid on our hands.” He took out his reading glasses and opened his notebook, slowly reading over his chicken-scratch notes.
Malachi took the paper and looked at the face on the page. The young girl seemed to stare back at him. Her eyes were filled with confusion, but her face was a stranger.
Fischer read off the stats while he clicked his pen. Malachi stared at the lost face in the picture. “Sixteen years old. She’s from Massillon. Hangs out with a rough crowd and gets in trouble at school, almost on a daily basis it appears. Parents, of course, tell me that she’s an angel, never did a thing wrong in her entire life. Boyfriend’s missing as well, but he’s nineteen, so his folks aren’t pushing it.”
He took off his glasses and laid them on the table with his notebook and pen as he took another long drink of his lemonade. “If you ask me, she ran off with him. But, we have to jump through the hoops and do our job. By any chance, have you seen her?”
Malachi shook his head as he looked into her eyes. “Sorry, I’ve never seen this girl. That I recall, anyway. Do you think she came this way?”
He shook his head. “Probably not, but I know a lot of kids head out here, stirring up trouble. Thought maybe they might have stopped in your store on their way outta town.”
Handing the picture back, Malachi said, “Sorry. Haven’t seen that one. But I’ll keep my eyes open for her and let you know if I do.”
Officer Fischer opened up his billfold and handed Malachi a business card. “Here’s my number, just give me a ring if you happen to see anything.”
“Will do.” Malachi fought hard to keep quiet, but he couldn’t help himself. “By the way, what did you find out about that wreck out here a couple of weeks ago?”
Fischer shook his head and replied, “Damn, kids. His blood alcohol level was point one-seven. He was trashed. What a waste of a young life. Although, from what I hear, the kid was a real pain in the ass.” He placed his wallet back inside his pocket, swigged down the rest of his lemonade, and said, “What goes around, comes around, I guess.” Standing up slowly, he stretched his back, smiled and then shook Malachi’s hand. “Thank you for your time and the delicious lemonade.”
“My pleasure, Officer. Anytime. You be careful out there. It’s a crazy world we live in.” Malachi placed the lemonade back in the refrigerator, trying to act nonchalant.
“You can say that again,” he replied, as he headed towards the front of the store.
Malachi followed him out and bid him good-day. As he watched him drive off, Fischer’s words resonated in his head, “What goes around, comes around.” Even though he felt relieved that Junior’s case appeared open and shut, there was still a dreadful feeling about the whole event. He had to get it off his mind.
Heading around back, he shuffled his feet as the leaves crunched loudly. He stooped over and picked up a few amulet pieces off the ground. This would be a good distraction for him. He needed to restock his supply for the upcoming holiday rush.
As he turned to make his way around front, he was confronted by someone rushing out from behind the shed, yelling, “What the hell’s going on?”
Malachi was startled and dropped his wooden disks on the ground. He grabbed his whittling knife and turned quickly towards the voice. Adrenaline surged through his veins as he prepared to be assaulted. His nerves were on edge already and this was more than he could handle.
The attacker stopped in his tracks and held his hands out in front of him, trying to diffuse the situation. “Malachi, calm down.”
The older man tried to focus through his fear. Finally, he realized that it was Travis. Placing his knife back down on a table, he clutched his chest and sighed, “Travis, that’s a good way to get yourself hurt. Why are you sneaking up on me like that?”
Travis came closer, and replied, “What, were you going to take me down with your whittling knife?”
Malachi wiped his brow, and grinned. “Maybe. I do have mad skills.”
“What’s the cop doing here, Malachi?” Travis snapped at him, anxiously awaiting a response.
“Calm down, son. He was out here looking for some girl that’s gone missing from Massillon.” Malachi took a seat on the old bench by the back door and inhaled a deep breath.
“That’s it? That’s all he wanted?” The nervous tone in Travis’s voice was plain to hear. He’d been out by the shed watching them through the back window the entire time. They sat inside, calmly sipping lemonade while his imagination ran wild.
Malachi knew that he needed to calm Travis down. “Yes, son. That’s it. I even asked him about Junior. He said it’s an open and shut case.” Malachi patted the bench next to him. “Come on. Come sit down and take some deep breaths. You gotta quit sneaking up on me like that.”
Travis walked over and plopped down on the bench. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was headed out to see you and I saw the cop drive up.” Travis’s leg began to shake like crazy. “Freaked me out, man. I couldn’t imagine what you two were chatting about in there. I thought maybe you were turning me in.”
Malachi shook his head in confusion. “Turn you in for what?” He grinned, trying to play dumb and then reached over and patted Travis’s knee. “I didn’t see you pull up. Where’s your car?”
The touch on his leg made Travis keenly aware of his twitch. He stared at Malachi’s stubby index finger and shook the hair from his face. “Don’t have one. I walked.”
“Wow, that’s quite a walk. I could have come and picked you up.” Malachi was seriously concerned about Travis. He looked thin and tired. His eyes were sunken with dark circles under them.
“It’s not too bad. Took me about an hour. I cut through the woods at Miller’s pass and followed the creek. It’s a nice day for a walk. Plus, I wanted to get these to you.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out half a dozen amulets. Twisted crosses, and medallions with detailed carvings.
Malachi took the wooden pieces and smiled. He laid them on his lap and pulled out his reading glasses. Inspecting them closely, he turned to Travis and said, “You definitely have a gift. It’s absolutely amazing how much detail you’re able to create.”
Travis nervously played with his tongue piercing. “They’re okay. It gives me something to do at night.”
Malachi took off his glasses and shoved them back into his chest pocket. “Why at night? Not sleeping well?”
Travis’s leg began to jump again. He was aware of it and sighed, angry with himself that he couldn’t control it. “No. Nighttime sucks.”
Malachi nodded and placed a firm hand on Travis’s shoulder. “I know what you mean, son. I’m not getting much sleep either.”
Travis’s eyes darted to Malachi’s. He realized that someone else did know exactly how he felt. He was connected to Malachi in a way that he couldn’t describe. Even though they were linked together by this one terrible tragedy, there was something else, something much deeper.
“I don’t think I can do it.”
Malachi’s eyes pierced straight into Travis. “Do what, son?”
He looked down at the ground, feeling anxious and sick to his stomach. “I can’t keep up the lie.”
“What choice do we have, Travis?” Malachi wasn’t sure where the kid was headed with his statement.
Travis shrugged his shoulders and looked away. “I was thinking that maybe I’d feel better if I told the truth?”
“What purpose would that serve? It can’t bring Junior back.”
Looking at Malachi, he squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. “It might make me feel better.”
Malachi shook his head and looked at him intently. “I don’t think prison is going to make you feel any better.” Taking a deep breath, he looked into Travis’s wounded eyes. “Let me tell you something, Travis. I don’t know if it will help you or not, but I do know how you feel.” He looked away and took a moment to carefully choose his words.
“I suffered terribly after my wife and son were killed. Honestly, I didn’t think that I’d ever get over it. They were my entire life and then in one split instant, they were ripped from me. I was left behind to pick up the shattered pieces. Everyone would tell me, ‘This too shall pass, Malachi.’ But I didn’t want it to pass. I wanted them back. It just wasn’t fair.”
Malachi was lost in his own painful memories. He stared at the woods. “I took off. I went up to Silver Creek Ridge and lost myself. I didn’t care if I ever came back. I drank myself numb and willed my body to die. I begged to die.”
Travis nervously twitched his leg and brushed the hair from his eyes. He wanted to see and feel everything that Malachi was saying to him. He could relate, and knew exactly how Malachi felt. That feeling of desperation; when you’ve reached the bottom and the climb back up seems overwhelming. When it would be easier to just lie down and give up. When you feel like everyone else has already given up on you and you might as well do the same. Travis knew that feeling all too well.
Malachi stopped, lost in his thoughts. “Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing.” Staring straight ahead, he appeared to be in a trance. “I tried to kill myself, Travis. I got good and drunk, took a knife and slashed my wrists.” Pulling up his sleeves, he exposed old scars across his arms. He looked Travis in the eye and boldly stated, “It felt good.”
With a disgusted sigh, he shook his head and pulled his sleeves back down. “But, I couldn’t even do that right. I woke up the next morning, with blood everywhere and a horrible hangover. I was a failure at everything I attempted.” He thought for a moment. “The vision that kept me from continuing and doing it again, was the image of my mama having to find my body. As I cleaned up the blood, I imagined that it was her having to do it. I could see the pain that it would cause her and I didn’t want to put her through that. She loved my wife and son and was grieving just like I was. How could I do that to her?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want to add any more pain and suffering to anyone’s life. Even though I didn’t care about myself, I did care deeply about my mama.”
A solemn look came across Malachi’s face. He looked into Travis’s eyes, as he hung on his every word. “That’s when I began cutting. There was something about a small slash to the flesh. It seemed to release all the pain and anger that I was feeling on the inside of my body. Some days the anguish on the inside was so strong that I wanted to cut it right out of me. The pain felt good. I only did it a few times, when it got real bad. So bad that I couldn’t stand it anymore.” Lifting his shirt, he exposed several small scars on his stomach.