Rodeo Daddy: Book 3 in the Stubborn Texas Siblings Trilogy (7 page)

Back at
Mandy’s house, Dana looked anxiously over at Jeff
as he paced the floor. He still had yet to willingly hand
Alexis over to her and their daughter stubbornly refused to
leave her father’s arms as long as he was willing to hold
her. She was leery of this connection father and daughter
had formed and wondered about where she fit in to the
comfy picture they made. She hadn’t expected Jeff to be
any kind of father to their daughter, but as she watched him
smooth his big hand over her tiny back, Dana had to admit
that at the moment, he was doing a damn good job of
faking it.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he stopped and
turned to face Dana. “I
WILL
be part of her life… and she
WILL
have my damn last name. I won’t hear a word of
argument on the matter. And I want my God Damn name
on her birth certificate, Dana.”

She felt her blood-pressure rise as a lump of fear formed in
her throat. “No. There’s a reason I left your name out of the
paperwork other than just to keep my sanity around my
sister. I told you; I don’t want my daughter raised by a man
who is gone at one rodeo or another, hopping from one
woman’s bed to the next with every different stop his work
takes him to.”
Jeff’s nostrils flared with anger. “I’m trying my damndest
to have patience with you, woman… but this is
MY
daughter too. I have rights and if you won’t do this the easy
way, I won’t have a choice but to do it the damn hard way.
I’d
HOPED
we could be civil with each other, given our
rather…. explosive sexual relationship,” he said pointedly,
daring her to deny it after the way she’d literally caught fire
in his arms the night before. “Clearly, it means a far sight
more to me than it does to you… and yet, here you are,
chastising me… the guy who went out of his way to only
sleep with
ONE
woman for well over a year… a woman I
did nothing to entice into my bed that first time, thank you
very much. You came of your own damn will, Dana and
you bloody well know it. Why can’t you just admit that?”

“Yes,” she said shakily. “I did.” Swallowing hard, she went
on. “But then, I went and did a really beyond stupid thing
and I fell in love with the world’s most emotionally
unavailable man and tried like Hell to hide it from you.
Then I did the hardest thing a woman in love ever has to do
when I found out that I was pregnant… I left the only man I
have ever or ever will love, without saying a bloody word
because I knew you didn’t want anything to do with family
or commitment. So don’t even give me that guilt trip about
just falling into your bed. Don’t try to make it okay that
you make a habit of taking all sorts of willing women there
as often as you can.”

“And I want to know where you get off saying that, when I
did willingly drop all other women for the duration of the
time we were together. Yes, I will admit after you left, I
went back to it… what did you expect me to do, Dana?
Wait for you forever when I had no clue if you’d ever come
back to me again?”

Emotion clogged her throat and she struggled to hold back
the tears that threatened to fall as her mind answered;
screaming in her head so loudly, she could have sworn
she’d actually answered him. ‘
Yes, damn it… Is it so much
to ask of the man that made me fall so deeply in love with
him when I haven’t so much as looked at another man
twice since that first time I saw you?
’

She blinked rapidly in an unsuccessful attempt to quell the
tears that slid down her cheeks and dripped off the tip of
her chin onto the floor at her feet. Ashamed of her
weakness for the man in front of her, Dana turned away
from him and faced the wall with her arms wrapped around
herself in a comforting gesture so she didn’t have to look at
him and see the pity written on his face as he realized how
deeply she still cared for him.

Jeff took a staggering step towards her, unable to keep his
distance. He then reached out and placed a suddenly
clammy palm on her arm, unsure what to say or do. The
pain on her face before she’d turned away had been so
intense; it had hit him directly in the gut like a sucker
punch.

“Dana?” he asked, his voice breaking with the emotion that
threatened to bring him to his knees. She still couldn’t find
her voice so she shook her head adamantly, turned around,
forcefully extracted Alexis from his arms and ran down the
hall towards the bathroom that was connected to the
nursery. In that moment, she needed to get away from Jeff.
Tears poured down her face as she bathed their daughter.
The more Alexis splashed and giggled, babbling the word
“Daddy” over and over again, the heavier the flow of tears
got. She had no idea how to deal with anything that was
going on. Not her daughter’s fascination with Jeff or her
own. She was more confused than ever by his insistence on
being included in Alexis’ life. So much time had gone by
when she had been sure that he’d want nothing to do with
the little girl they’d made together.

Now that he knew and he was going out of his way to insert
himself into both of their lives, Dana was confused. She
had no idea what to do. She desperately wanted to believe
that she had been wrong and there was actually a chance
that Jeff could turn out to be both husband and father
material after all… but she knew him too well. His
wanderlust was too big a part of who he was as a man. He
thrived on the endorphins that came from the stimulation
and titillation he got from riding a bucking bull the full
eight seconds. He got off on the roar of the crowd after a
successful ride. A man like that would never be happily
settled down in one place with a wife and child.

Perhaps a few weeks of bliss would pass before he got
bored and went out seeking the next thrill. That was exactly
the life she’d desperately tried to keep Alexis from
suffering… knowing and loving her father as much as Dana
did, only to have to watch as he went back to his true
love… the rodeo and his buckle bunnies.

But how could she fight Jeff when he was hurting? When
she knew that feeling like he’d done something for his
daughter would make him feel better about not having been
part of her life from the very beginning… Her heart was
swelling in her chest and it felt as if she was putting it
through the ringer by continuing to deny the man she loved
the one thing that would make him happiest.

“What am I going to do?” she asked Alexis as she rubbed
the baby shampoo into her red curls. “Your Daddy wants to
be part of your life so desperately… and I want to give that
to him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life…
but at the same time, I’m scared to death that in doing so,
he’s going to end up hurting both of us so badly; we may
not survive the heartache when he inevitably leaves us…
which I know he will, because that’s who he is. He is first
and foremost a free spirited rodeo cowboy. Who am I to try
to tie him down?”

“
Daddy,” Alexis babbled happily in answer, grinning
widely at her mother as she splashed her hands in the water
in excitement at the mention of the man she’d so quickly
bonded with.

Dana sighed as she rinsed the shampoo out of Alexis’ ha
ir.
“You’re right,” she said, nodding her head. “I’m being
selfish… I can’t keep you away from him any more than I
can keep him away from you. Clearly you love each other.
I guess my feelings shouldn’t matter,” she said, wiping the
tears from her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

“I just can’t help it… I’m jealous of my own daughter,” she
said, laughing despite the tears that continued to fall. “The
man I’ve so desperately loved for so long has fallen ass
over teakettle in love with you and yet I’m still just a
warm body to him that he can’t seem to get enough of and I
know that it frustrates and pisses him off to no end. He
refuses to embrace anything more than lust for me.”

“
Daddy” Alexis said again, looking towards the doorway,
knowing that the man she wanted was just on the other side
of the wall. Dana shook her head and drained the tub,
pulling her daughter out and wrapping the towel around her
body to dry her off. “No. Beddie-by time,” Dana corrected
softly. “There will be more time to spend with Daddy
tomorrow after you’ve had a good night’s sleep.”

Alexis laid her head down on Dana’s shoulder when she
picked her up with the towel still wrapped around her warm
body, sighing heavily as her eyelids began to droop. Her
thumb went into her mouth and she began to suck it as
Dana carried her down the hallway to the nursery. Perhaps
after a good night’s sleep, she’d have a better hold on her
emotions and she would be able to face Jeff again.

The one thing she did know was that she couldn’t spend the
night in his arms the way she had the night before. Despite
the fact that her hormones were jumping and her body was
primed and ready for his brand of loving, she knew she
couldn’t do it. Emotionally, she was nowhere near ready to
submit to him again just yet.

It
felt as if she’d opened her heart up with a sharp knife and
no sedative only to leave it lying wide open for him to
stomp all over. Knowing he didn’t love her and most likely
never would and giving herself to him nonetheless would
be tantamount to emotional suicide as far as Dana was
concerned, and that wasn’t something she had it in her to
do. No. Once she’d tucked Alexis into her bed and read her
a bedtime story, she would go into Mandy’s room, lock the
door and sleep in her bed. Jeff could use the guest bed that
she’d been sleeping in since she’d arrived back in town for
the night if he insisted on sticking around once he figured
out that he wasn’t getting lucky again tonight.

Come morning, if he was still there, they’d have a long sit
down talk about where they went from here… if anywhere.
In the meantime, she was determined to do her level best to
get a good night’s sleep. Something told her that she was
going to need it.

Jeff was pacing her kitchen floor, barefoot and bare chested
with his pants open at the fly the next morning when Dana
tip-toed down the stairs. Alexis had woken up several times
during the night and had finally faded off to sleep just a few
hours before. She had a feeling the little girl was tuckered
out and would most likely sleep most of the day away as
long as they kept things quiet.

The moment she saw him, Dana almost tripped over her
own feet. Memories of their time together heating up the
sheets in his tiny little trailer swamped her mind and left
her feeling lightheaded with the instant desire they had
stirred within her. Her eyes slowly scraped over his lean
torso and stopped at the lump in his pants that clearly
showed why he hadn’t bothered to fasten them. His
erection was too hard to be able to do any more than he
had.

Keeping her distance from him was hard enough for her to
do when she wasn’t faced with a constant reminder of just
how incredible Jeff’s body was. Seeing the hard proof of
his arousal didn’t exactly help matters any either. Staying
away from him was just plain silly. She couldn’t fall any
further in love with the man… Shouldn’t she be taking
advantage of his fascination for her as long as it lasted so
she’d have the memories to fall back on later on down the
road once he tired of her and moved on to his next
conquest?

Jeff heard her and turned his head to look at her. There was
so much heat in his gaze as his eyes slowly made their way
from her messed up hair to her polished toes, it made her
pulse skitter into overdrive. Unable to stay away from him,
she smiled and took the few steps it took to bring her within
kissing distance. She nervously wrapped her arms around
his waist and lifted her face in offering. “I’m sorry,” she
whispered softly, standing on tip-toes and brushing her lips
softly over his.

A deep groan was his only answer as he swept her into his
embrace, grabbing her butt with both hands and pushing his
tongue between her slightly parted lips to tangle with hers.
The feeling of coming home swamped him as she moaned
in welcome, moving her arms up around his neck to tangle
her fingers in his hair.

He picked her up and carried her over to the kitchen
counter, setting her down on top of it and quickly ridding
himself of his pants and underwear. He then yanked her
underwear down her legs and stepped between her legs,
instantly slamming himself home. They both moaned as the
tip of his erection pressed against the opening to her cervix.
“I hate it when we fight,” he said, wrapping his arm around
her waist and pulling her body against him as he thrust in
and out.

“Me too,” Dana whimpered, bending her head to place a
hot kiss to the side of his neck before grabbing onto his
shoulders with both of her hands as she neared an early
climax.

“But making up is always so damn good,” he added, feeling
the pressure begin to build up as his orgasm threatened to
bring him to his knees.

It was impossible to argue with a statement like that when
her whole body was literally shaking from the extremity of
the pleasure he was giving her. And the intensity in his
gaze as he stared into her eyes, refusing to lose the
connection was enough to make Dana admit, at least to
herself that it was possible to fall even further in love with
her rodeo cowboy. “Oh, Jeff,” she sobbed as she toppled
over the edge into a bliss so complete, she knew there
would be no recovering fully, even once her heart rate
returned to normal.

“Mine,” was all he could grunt as he pushed into her one
last time, pumping her full of his semen. He knew he
probably sounded a bit like a caveman in that moment, but
he didn’t care. The entire night before while he’d been
trying unsuccessfully to sleep down the hall from Dana,
knowing that the only reason she’d locked him out of her
bed was because she loved him too much and couldn’t bear
to allow him to touch her; he’d lain there thinking.
Remembering the way she’d always made him feel. Every
time they’d come together, it had seemed like he’d come
home.

Then his mind went to that terrifying moment when he’d
first realized she wasn’t coming back… The fear and loss
that had hit him so hard, he had actually collapsed on the
floor of his trailer, unable to breathe for a few minutes. He
hadn’t meant to let his heart get attached to her… or to any
other woman, for that matter, but it had nonetheless. He
hadn’t realized just how deeply involved his heart had
gotten until he lay there staring at the ceiling tiles in the
guest room… shut out, feeling like he was living on the
sidelines with both his daughter and with Dana.

He found that he wasn’t strong enough to handle losing
either one of them in the dead of the night and the
realization had brought him to tears. It had taken him ages
to finally fall asleep, and when he’d woken up, his body
had been so damn hard for her, he hadn’t been able to
fasten his pants. In order to keep from going to her and
breaking her door down so he could take her; possibly
against her will, he’d gone into the kitchen; hoping to find
something he could cook them for breakfast as an apology.

When she’d come into the kitchen, again, wearing only
underwear and his shirt, he’d lost it. Then when she’d said
she was sorry and kissed him, he hadn’t been able to get
inside of her fast enough. He kissed her brow as his body
began to cool down. “I’m sorry too,” he whispered softly.
“I never should have issued you any ultimatums…threats or
demands. I also shouldn’t have made excuses about moving
on once you’d left me. The only thing I have to say for
myself is that when you took off without saying a word to
me… I was hurt. I never expected to feel that way about a
woman when things came to an end, and it scared the
dickens out of me.”
He reluctantly released her and helped her down off the
counter, stepping away as he turned away from her,
running his big hand through his hair. “I became
emotionally involved with you against my own will and
without my even realizing I’d done it,” he added laughing
even though there wasn’t anything the least bit funny about
the situation.

Dana sighed and plopped her bare butt down on one of the
kitchen chairs. “Now you tell me…” She looked over at
him and offered him a tired smile. “Not that it matters.
Nothing has changed. You’re still a rodeo champion. As
soon as your leg heals, you’ll be back out there. Risking
your life for the thrill of the victory you get when you ride
out eight seconds on a bull that wants to kill you…
Tempted by the women who’ll throw themselves at you,
which I can’t do anymore now that I have Alexis.”

She held up a hand to stop him when he opened his mouth
to say something. Clearing her throat loudly, she looked
down nervously at her hands as she plucked at a loose
splinter in the wood of the tabletop. “I’m not saying I won’t
put your name on her birth certificate and even agree to let
you see her as often as you can find time to do, just so long
as you realize I won’t put up with you having other women
around when you have Alexis… I will. I realized last night
that I can’t allow my feelings for you to get in the way of
your relationship with our daughter. But I can’t do it, Jeff. I
love you too much. It would break my heart, knowing you
were out there on the road… with some stranger wrapped
around your body, riding you to completion while I’m
pining away for you back here.”
Jeff sucked in a harsh breath and yanked his jeans up. “That
sounded an awful lot like an ultimatum…” His words were
said slowly and carefully to mask the rage that had begun
to build up in his brain. He had just all but poured his heart
out to this woman and admitted that he cared for her a great
deal more than he’d ever allowed himself to get attached to
any other woman, and her response was to threaten him?

“I can’t and I won’t be involved with a man who sleeps
around with other women behind my back just because I
can’t be there at every stop along the road while he’s out
there chasing the next victory in the rodeo arena. I know
you, Jeff. Probably better than anyone else on this planet. I
know you are a very sexual being. You thrive on the
adrenaline rush that you get in that arena and you need the
sexual high that comes after it to keep from crashing too
hard when your ride is over.”

“I’ll have you know I can stay tru
e to one woman if I damn
well want to, whether she’s by my side all the time or not,”
he said roughly, his back molars grinding together as
frustration mounted. She sounded so much like Eric and
Laurie when she said stuff like that, it wasn’t even funny.
Dana was supposed to be different, damn it. She was
supposed to be the one that believed in him.

“Right,” Dana said, laughing as she grabbed her underwear
and yanked them back on over her long legs, wishing she’d
bothered to grab pants… or at least a damn robe to cover up
with. She felt so vulnerable to him right then, she needed
the extra added advantage that clothing offered her as far as
hiding went. “How long have you gone, staying true to one
woman, Jeff?”

“You know damn good and well I wasn’t with
any other
woman the whole damn year we were sleeping together,”
he answered nastily.

“Yes… but I was always there, wasn’t I? How about when
the woman you’re involved with isn’t around, Jeff? How
long did you wait after you realized I wasn’t there that day,
before you sought out another warm willing body? An
hour? Two?”

“Damn it, Dana… it took me a pathetic seven stops before I
realized you weren’t coming back,” he answered honestly.
“Then I was so damn burdened by the pain in my chest, I
couldn’t even move. I missed my ride entirely that day…
scored a zero for the competition that could have meant I’d
be in the running for the big money prize I’d been after for
a God Damn year. After that? I’d say it took me three more
stops before I had it in me to take a willing woman up on
her offer to take her to bed. I didn’t go
LOOKING
at all. I
felt
NUMB
and needed to feel something.
ANYTHING
.”

Her eyes grew large as guilt swamped her. By the time
she’d taken off, he’d only been having one competition a
week… that meant he’d waited for almost two full months
before he’d even admitted she wasn’t coming back? And
another couple weeks after that before caving in to the need
to climb into another woman’s bed… She felt about three
inches tall, having assumed the absolute worse of him the
way she had.
Since she had been almost two months pregnant before
she’d stopped coming to see him, that meant she’d been
well into her second trimester before he’d slept with
another woman. Her eyes frantically searched his for the
truth and when she found it there in his eyes, she sobbed
and ran back into his arms, hugging him tightly.

“Oh, Jeff….” It was a sad pathetic thing to say, but her
mind was going so many different directions at once, she
couldn’t settle on any single comment to say. She’d been so
wrong about so many things when she’d assumed he’d
want nothing to do with their child… that he’d be a terrible
father… that he didn’t really care about her and never
would. All of it put together was enough to make her
blubber like a baby.

He rested his chin on top of her head and wrapped his arms
loosely around her body. “Does this mean you finally
believe me?” he asked feeling as if he’d lived a year in the
last few minutes.

Jeff smiled and nuzzled the side of her head, moving one of
his hands down her body to cup her butt again. “I can think
of a few ways you could convince me,” he answered
naughtily.

Dana laughed and playfully smacked him on the chest.
“You have a one track mind,” she accused, loving him that
much more.