Rocky Mountain Freedom (26 page)

Ashley preened under his attention. “Aren’t you a lovely man?”

His laughter curled around them. “I’m an asshole and a bastard most of the time, but you bring out the best in me. Thank you.”

The compliment was unexpected and so sincerely said that a shiver of delight rolled through her from head to toe. “That’s about the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

He tweaked her chin. “I mean it.” Then his expression changed slightly, tightening. “Ash, I’m getting that urge. What did you call it? For some stress release.”

She stroked his shoulders, trying to pass on reassurance. “You gonna ask Cassidy to help you?”

Travis nodded. “You want to be there or not?” His lips twisted. “I’m asking not because I expect you to, but things have changed. It’s all mixed up, the urge I have for pain and the urge to fuck, and I don’t want you to think I’m cheating on you if something happens other than me getting—stress relieved.”

“You talking about if you and Cass fool around?”

He nodded.

Oh my, now she was torn. Pushing her selfish urges aside, she cupped his face and put as much sincerity into her words as possible. “The idea of watching you two fool around makes me hot, which might be all kinds of wrong, but I don’t give a damn. I already told you that I didn’t mind. You’re not my possession, Travis. You don’t have to ask my permission to enjoy being with Cassidy.”

“I’m more than a casual friend, though, aren’t I?” His eyes had grown darker as she spoke.

“Oh, definitely, you’re more.” She punctuated her answer with a kiss. “And, Travis, thank you for sharing with me. About you…having a
need
. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.”

He squirmed as if uncomfortable. “Yeah, well, you asked me to. And I didn’t want you upset like last time.”

Last time, when she’d wondered if she’d been the cause of another person—

A shudder racked her, and he offered a soothing caress, wrapping his arms around her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll be fine. Cassidy’s not going to
hurt me
hurt me.”

“I know.” Damn the quiver in her voice. “It’s not that. It’s…” She stared into the sunshine and wondered how long the ice would stay in her soul. He’d trusted enough to come talk to her. She needed to take another step as well. “Someone close to me died over the holidays. I felt like it was my fault for not helping them.”

His hug tightened. “Oh, baby.”

“My cousin asked if he could talk to me, and I was all wrapped up in myself, and I walked out on him.” Ashley wiped her eyes, unable to stop tears from rising. She blinked hard, fighting for control. “He committed suicide. I’m the one who found him the next morning.”

“Ah, hell.”

She buried her face against him, and Travis squeezed her close. Held her against him and gave her comfort.

When he spoke again, the words were low and tender. “Sweetheart, it’s not your fault. You had no idea, and that’s not the kind of thing you can anticipate.”

She knew that. Had been told it, and told it to herself, but her selfishness still haunted her. Ashley pulled back and took a deep breath. “I know that in my head, but my heart is still broken. That’s part of why I was so upset that first time you needed help. Because I wasn’t listening to you. It’s not the fact you needed pain that frightened me. It was me not taking the time to listen. I was wrong, and I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh.” He rocked her lightly, soothing hands on her back. “There’s nothing to forgive. You’ve always done what you thought was best for me, even when it meant leaving.”

“But that was wrong.”

Travis shook his head. “No, baby, you walking away was exactly what I needed to get my head out of my ass.”

He kissed her again, tenderness in his hands and lips as he wiped a tear from beside her eye. They sat together for a couple moments, and she finally found her breath.

It wasn’t the end of her sadness, but it helped to know he didn’t blame her.

She stood and held out her hand as he rose smoothly to his feet. Travis hugged her tight for another moment, kissing the top of her head, and Ashley held in her sigh.

It felt so perfectly right to be in his arms, and yet she wasn’t enough for him. Would never be enough.

The truth stung harder than any belt whip ever could.

Torn between nausea and anticipation, Cassidy pushed open his cabin door and paced in, Travis hard on his heels.

Since Travis had found him that afternoon and made his request, Cassidy had been uneasy. How sick was it that the idea of being the one to help his friend turned his legs to jelly and his cock rock solid?

All dinner he’d tried to come up with a solution before finally admitting he had no idea what was the best way to deal with this.

Maybe there was no
best
, there only was move forward and face both his hesitation to hurt Travis and his desire to be with him.

He stood by the foot of the bed and took a deep breath. “You got any idea how you want to do this?”

Travis shrugged. “You’re the one who’s got to deal out the pain. I figured you need to call the shots on that one.”

A snort of disbelief escaped Cassidy. “Right, like you’re not going to boss me around while I’m beating on you. Don’t try to bullshit me about that.”

His friend’s stern expression slipped into a grin. “Yeah, well, what can I say? Someone’s got to make the decisions, and usually that’s me.”

Cassidy hid his shaking hands by snapping a finger toward the bed. “Well, this time, I’m in charge. Strip and lay on your stomach.”

Travis raised a brow, but he toed off his boots, kicking them toward the door. His shirt lifted upward without a word, sculpted muscles coming into view, and Cassidy schooled himself to stop from gasping for oxygen.

Travis’s belt buckle loosened. He undid his jeans and pushed them from his hips along with his underwear, and that was it. Clothing abandoned to the chair by the door, nothing but primal male before Cassidy.

He’d seen the man buck naked more than once, but every time it was enough to blow his mind. Not only the muscles formed from labouring in the fields, but something else that made Cassidy’s mouth water and his brain tangle so he couldn’t think straight.

He eyed the sharp angles and muscles bulking his friend, starting at his calves and working his way up. Travis’s legs were covered with a layer of wiry dark hair, and his cock rose from a thatch of solid black. A thin trail ran up his firm abdomen to his belly button, another dusting of black on his chest.

Cassidy was still staring when Travis adjusted his stance, pulling his gaze up to his friend’s face in time to see his cocky grin. “You gonna look at me all night?” Travis asked.

Control—he had to take it, because Travis sure the hell wasn’t giving it up. “Waiting for you to get on the bed like I told you to.”

Travis sauntered forward, pausing inches away. Close enough that if he’d wanted to, Cassidy could have jerked their bodies together and gotten his fingers into Travis’s naked ass cheeks.

Only Travis swung away and stepped to the bed. He paused again, glanced over his shoulder and then, fuck it all, if he didn’t crawl onto the mattress with his ass presented toward Cassidy like some hard-core porn video.

Cassidy did the only thing he could in self-defense. He turned his back and went for the things he’d gathered earlier. Took off his boots while he fought the urge to run.

Travis’s soft chuckle said he knew exactly what was going on.

Enough. This wasn’t getting them anywhere, and in the end, either he had the courage to give Travis what he needed or he didn’t. As for the rest, it had been a hell of a long time coming.

Take. For one day, he was going to take.

Cassidy snapped out an order. “Spread your arms.”

“My arms?” Travis sounded totally confused.

Cassidy slipped a rope around Travis’s wrist and tied it off to the solid wood bedpost. He made his way around to the opposite side as Travis tested the hold.

“You want me to stop, you tell me,” Cassidy said. “You protest or try to get free, I’m not going to listen, but you tell me no, and it’s done. Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it. Just ain’t ever been tied up before,” Travis muttered.

Cassidy bet Travis had never relinquished control enough to let himself be tied up.

A final tug on the soft cord ensured it wasn’t going to work loose, not without Cassidy releasing it. “Grab the ropes with your hands to protect your wrists.”

Travis was still moving his arms into position when Cassidy caught his foot and looped it to a post. “Hey,” Travis protested, “I don’t know about that.”

Cassidy ignored him.

He had to sit on Travis to stop him from thrashing, stringing him into position before the man finally stilled. “You’d think I was using boiling oil on you or something. Jeez.”

Travis tested his bonds. “Feels…weird.” The words came out deep and husky.

“Weird? Like, makes-you-want-to-freak-out weird or makes you horny?”

Travis laughed. “Everything makes me horny.”

“Well, yeah.” Cassidy ran his hand up the back of Travis’s leg, spreading his fingers to caress as much skin as possible. “You’re a guy. It comes with the territory.”

Cassidy stroked all the way up to Travis’s ass, cupping the flesh there and squeezing lightly. Travis sucked in a gasp then held his breath.

Not breathing seemed to be contagious. Cassidy let out the air suspended in his own lungs as he braced himself.

He lifted his hand from Travis’s skin then brought it down sharply, the palm of his hand smacking soft skin with a ringing slap.

Travis jerked briefly before relaxing. “You gonna wear out your hand if you plan on doing that until I’ve had enough.”

Cassidy smoothed his palm over skin gone faintly pink. “I looked up some stuff online,” he confessed.

A sharp burst of laughter escaped Travis. “God, you didn’t.”

The ringing of the next slap mingled with Travis’s amusement fading into a moan. “You’re not the only person in the world that gets off on this. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I’m not comfortable using a belt again. I found out there are ways to make it more…intense, quicker.”

He stroked again, gripping firmer this time. Massaging and kneading Travis’s ass and the seam where his legs and butt met. Travis fell silent for a few minutes, wiggling his torso when Cassidy reached for the bottle of oil on the side table.

Didn’t complain, though. Not when Cassidy added a healthy shot to his palm and coated Travis from knees to mid-back, rubbing in the oil until his skin glistened.

“You’re killing me,” Travis muttered.

“Join the club.” Cassidy’s cock pressed like a rock against the front of his jeans, and the urge to strip was tough to resist. This was hotter than he’d remembered—although the last time was pretty much a blur in his memory.

“Cass…” Travis twisted his head to the side. “You’re not going to like this, but my cock is going numb. Could you shove a pillow under my hips, or something?”

He should put in for sainthood. Cassidy snatched a pillow from the head of the bed and hoisted Travis’s hips, pressing the material under him. A devil of mischief of his own moved his arm, and Cassidy slipped his hand lower and caught hold of Travis’s cock.

“Fuck.” The word whispered out as Travis thrust his hips forward.

Cassidy was basically at that moment sprawled over Travis, their thighs touching, bodies close, and his hand—

Adjusted Travis’s cock before releasing the hard length to lie nestled in the soft pillow. Cassidy crawled off and picked up the new crop he’d pulled from the storage shed. A crop. Safe and familiar. No haunting memories.

“Tease.”

“You still going numb?” Cassidy asked. “Because while I think you’d like me to get you off, it wouldn’t solve your issue, so if you’re comfortable, I’m going to finish what we started before moving to anything else.”

Travis twisted his head and emotionlessly examined the crop in Cassidy’s hands. “
Anything else
mean you plan on fucking me?”

Cassidy couldn’t breathe again.
Stay in control.
“Right now, worry about the pain.”

He brought the crop down rapidly, the soft leather flap on the end of the rigid handle snapping into bare flesh a hell of a lot harder than Cassidy’s hand could.

Travis clutched the ropes, his knuckles going white, face turned into the mattress. Silence hung in the air between the cracks of leather meeting flesh. Cassidy worked a half-dozen smacks on each side of Travis’s ass before pausing and once again using his palm to spread the oil. To give a contrast to the pain and sensitize the nerves faster.

Travis’s skin was hot under his hand, hips fidgeting slightly, but he didn’t say no. Didn’t say anything but press closer to Cassidy’s touch.

“Again?” Cassidy asked.

Travis nodded.

Time moved slower as Cassidy gave to his friend. Their breathing echoed in the room, the sharp nick of the crop an even metronome punctuated by the occasional grunt or low moan from Travis.