Rocky Mountain Angels (19 page)

Joe chuckled. “You and every other male on the planet.” He spread his shirt on the board and tested the heat of the iron against the wrinkles.
And at the moment, I wish I understood myself.

The doorbell rang. Ben went to answer it, and Joe looked at his watch. Cringing, he flipped the shirt over to press the back with greater speed. Finally satisfied, he whipped it off the ironing board and started out of the kitchen, slipping it on as he went. He stopped when he realized that Mari was standing by the door talking to Ben. She looked up at him still trying to find the sleeve with his right hand, and he wasn’t prepared for the look of admiration that lit her eyes as they slid down to his waist and back up again. Joe couldn’t help it. He smiled.

Mari blushed and turned back to Ben. “If you still want to drive me, how about around 1:00?”

“That should work.”

She turned and pulled open the door. “Okay, see you then.” She paused but didn’t turn back. “See you later, Joe.”

Joe didn’t know why he was grinning from ear to ear. “See you later, Mari.”

Ben looked at Joe with eyebrows raised as Joe moved past him and jogged up the stairs, buttoning his shirt on the way.

There are a lot of things that are none of your business, little brother.

***

Mari sat on her love seat, still in her coat, scarf, and mittens. She had never been so close to euphoric and devastated at the same time. The earlier weird moment with Joe had been bad enough, but to have him see right through her like that was almost too embarrassing.
I’ve certainly made a fool of myself today.
She flopped over on her side and put her mittened hands to her face.
Dear God, please let him forget. Let him forget I nearly kissed him out there. Let him forget the way I looked at him just now.

She had only intended to return Eli’s gloves that he had left on the arm of the love seat—just hand them in to whoever answered the door—but then Ben had pulled her in and wanted to apologize for his reaction to her news of dating Eli, and then he asked her if he could still take her to tour the campus.

Cold or not, I should have stayed out on the porch.

She pulled off her mittens and unwound her scarf from her neck while she watched Joe’s pickup pull out of their driveway and head down the street.
What must he think of me? A little sister. A goofy little sister. A goofy little sister with a giant, stupid crush.

A flash of Joe’s well-toned torso flitted through her mind—
Dazzling Joe—
followed by that knowing grin. She held the wad of knitted accessories to her chest.
And what of Eli? Here I’ve been wondering if he could be faithful—if he could be trusted—and I’m the one with wandering eyes.

Mari leaped up and unbuttoned her coat on the way to the rack.
And they’re looking at a guy who’s practically married.
She hung up her coat and paused in thought, seeing Joe again nearly eye to eye from her porch.
What was he going to say before Eli interrupted?
She closed her eyes and replayed the sound of his voice, hushed, almost aching. She opened her eyes and shook her head.
He probably wanted to say, “Mari, you ridiculous creature, don’t be an idiot, please. You will only make it difficult for us to be neighbors.”

And for a moment, she considered moving. She rolled her eyes.
But how would I explain to Eli, to Ben, to... to any one of them?

Exhaling sharply, she tried to clear them all out of her head.
I’ve been here a week. Time for some housecleaning. Very vigorous housecleaning.
She walked slowly, but with purpose, to the kitchen to retrieve her cleaning supplies from under the sink. On her way to the bathroom to scrub the tub, however, her eye landed on her camera. Grabbing it by the strap she made a detour to her bedroom.

First, though, I need to delete a few pictures.

***

Ben pulled into the driveway between their two houses and turned off the ignition. Mari opened her car door then paused. “Can you come in for a minute and let me thank you with a brownie a la mode? I just baked them this morning.”

Ben pocketed his keys. “Sure, I’ve got nothing else to do.”

Mari was still walking pretty slowly, so Ben caught up with her easily as she made her way through the snow. Ben smiled.
There was never a trail here before Mari moved in.

He had enjoyed his afternoon with her despite having to rein in his feelings and keep a “friendly” distance. They had toured both the University of Colorado and Pikes Peak Community College campuses, and Mari had spoken to career counselors at both schools. And for the first time, Ben had heard her relate all her college experience. It had been a bit intimidating.

Mari unlocked the door, and the two peeled out of their coats. Then he followed her to the kitchen and sat as she cut two brownies and warmed them in the microwave. She got a carton of ice cream out of the freezer and looked at him with a nervous smile as she scooped the ice cream onto the warm chocolate confections. “You’ve been really quiet the last hour or so. Did I wear you out with all my inquiries? I’m sorry to have taken up almost your whole afternoon.”

He took the plate she held out to him. “No, like I said, I had nothing better to do. It was fine.”

She sat with her own plate. “So is there a reason you’ve gotten so quiet?”

Ben swallowed his bite of brownie. “I guess after I heard you tell the career guy your long list of degrees, I started to feel like I understood why... well, you know.” He took another bite, feeling like he wanted to sink through the floor.

Mari reached across the table to touch his hand. “Ben, that has absolutely nothing to do with it. I don’t feel superior because I have all those degrees. In fact, I sort of feel ridiculous that I’ve gone through all that study and still don’t have a direction.” She gave his hand a pat before pulling away. “I hope you do better than I have in that regard.”

“Well,” he said, cutting off another bite, “that’s also why I’ve been quiet, I guess. I started wondering if I’m going to be doing the same thing. I just got into business management at Joe’s suggestion.” Mari’s lips thinned, and Ben jumped to Joe’s defense. “He didn’t force me into it; I just didn’t know what to do, and he said I could be the Rhodes Construction business manager if I got the degree.”

Mari still looked peeved. “But did he ever talk to you about your interests, your goals, your desires? Did he ever suggest you go to a career counselor?” She stuck her fork in her mouth with such attitude that Ben had to smile.

“Well, I had career counseling in high school, but somehow it didn’t help much. It showed I had too many interests.”

Mari nodded knowingly.

“So I thought maybe I should go with something that had a guaranteed job at the end.” Ben tried to scoop up the last of the melted ice cream with his fork, gave up, and set it down.

Mari sat back in her chair. “Are you having second thoughts?”

He looked up and met her gaze. “Yeah. I guess I am.” He jumped up and grabbed both of their plates to take to the dishwasher. “And it’s partly your fault.”

“Mine? What did I do?”

He turned around and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms and ankles. “You got me thinking about working in a zoo.” At her surprised expression, he went on. “I’ve always liked working with animals. We have an aunt and uncle with a ranch not too far from the Springs. I used to stay with them for several weeks every summer, taking care of their cattle and horses. They even had some goats and llamas. I loved every minute.”

She smiled at him. “Even the poop scooping?”

He smiled back. “Well, I didn’t love that part, but I didn’t mind it so much.”

Mari rose and motioned for him to follow her out of the kitchen. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

Ben knew there was only one place of comfort in Mari’s living room and headed for the love seat he’d helped Eli carry in. He had to admit, it didn’t look half bad with the throw over it and the colorful pillows. Sitting, he noticed the new room arrangement, rods, and valances. He hated to give Eli credit, but he did seem to know what he was doing.

Mari soon returned with a stack of papers and sat beside him. “Here’s all the info I got in the mail about the zoo studies program at the community college. You’re welcome to it. Maybe it will help you make a decision.”

Ben took it from her as both their eyes were drawn to the window and the pickup that was pulling in next door. He blew out a breath. “I’m going to really hate telling Joe.”

Mari frowned. “Tell Joe he can stick that manager degree where the sun don’t shine.” She poked him in the arm with her index finger. “This is your life, not his.”

He shook his head. “Yeah, but I’m a year and a half into it.”

“As Will Shakespeare said, ‘It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.’ Better to change gears after a year and a half than twelve. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about.”

Ben rose and headed for his coat. “Yeah, I guess you do.”

***

Joe plopped down in his favorite chair in the living room and tilted his head back with his eyes closed. It had been a long day, but he had gotten what he wanted. The designs were finished, and the Marshall’s had signed off on them. It had been hell to keep his mind on construction designs, however, when a pair of brown eyes kept popping in. Brown eyes that had seemed to call to him from her front porch and devour him in his foyer.

He clenched his eyes and shook his head.
But I have to be wrong. Yeah, she liked the look of my chest, but that’s it. She’s with Eli.
He tried to remember what she had said to him outside.
Something about buying a bird feeder.
He lifted his head and huffed out a breath as he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button.
Yeah, Joe, there’s a come-on if I ever heard one.

He got up and headed to the kitchen, reminding himself that she had sat as close to him during Sabbath services as was humanly possible without her being on his lap, and she had given him no indication whatsoever that she had felt any of the electricity that had his heart jumping like a wild hare. She had been as still as a mouse while he had to fight slipping his hand down to her arm the entire service. He had gripped the back of the pew so hard, he’d gotten a cramp.

He retrieved an apple from the refrigerator and a knife from a drawer and sliced off a piece. He turned at the sound of footsteps running down the stairs to see Eli, now dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved button shirt, grab his coat, and giving a mock salute his direction, head out the door.
Probably going to Mari’s.

Crunching on his apple slice and staring out the window above the kitchen sink, his eyes lit on an old bird feeder hanging in a tree in the back yard. None of them had the time or the inclination to fill it up. He smiled.
But I know someone who will.
He thought about going out and buying some birdseed then remembered his vow from yesterday to go out today and buy Beth an engagement ring. He sank into a kitchen chair as guilt washed over him, and he suddenly had no appetite for the rest of his apple.

Setting it and the knife aside, he leaned his forehead on stacked fists.
Lord, help me know what to do. I can’t buy Beth a ring when I’m constantly thinking about another woman. Please forgive me. I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused. I’ve always known exactly what I wanted in life, but now... now I find myself wanting what I can’t have, and I truly don’t know what to do about Beth. I thought I was remodeling this house for her, but—

Joe jumped when a stack of papers hit the table in front of him, and Ben pulled out a chair across from him. “Joe, we need to talk.”

***

Mari was snuggled up with Eli on the love seat, watching re-runs of Seinfeld and trying to put Joe out of her mind. It helped that Eli’s aftershave wasn’t like Joe’s. Joe went for the woodsy leather scent, while Eli’s was more musky. She concentrated on his hand moving up and down her arm, and when he started kissing her during the ads, she let herself get lost in the sensations until they were both nearly panting with desire.

Eli pulled back and looked at her with hooded eyes and a slanting smile, and Mari knew they had gone too far. He ran a finger along her jaw and moved in to kiss her again, but Mari stopped him. “I’m sorry, Eli. I think we better go back to watching TV.”

He gave a little shake of his head and blew out a breath. “Mari. Darling. I said I’d be willing to let you call the shots, but please don’t dangle heaven in front of me and then pull it away.”

Mari suddenly felt near tears. “I’m sorry.”

Eli looked immediately apologetic and pulled her to himself. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck but couldn’t keep the tears from sliding down her cheeks. He rubbed his hands up and down her back. “Hey, hey, sweetheart, don’t cry. Really. I’m sorry I said anything. And I should have stopped sooner.” He pushed on her shoulders to look her in the eyes and wipe the tears from her face. “As much as I’d love to take you to bed, you are more important to me than sex.”

She nodded and sniffed. She couldn’t fathom her own mind at the moment.
Was I just kissing Eli to forget Joe?
No, she didn’t think so. Eli was a great kisser. Eli made her feel beautiful and cared for. But she had to admit, she had let him take her to another level because in those moments, she couldn’t see Joe—couldn’t hear his voice whisper her name. She looked at Eli who was looking at her with concern.
He’s giving up the kind of physical intimacy he’s used to for me. Surely I can give up a ridiculous fantasy for him.

She sniffed again, and Eli handed her a tissue from the box on the end table. She blew her nose and pulled herself together. “Do you want to see the pictures I took today?”

He ran his hand over her shoulder. “I sure do.” He shut the TV off with the remote as she got up to get her laptop.

***