Rocked Under (34 page)

"Come on, baby,
tell
me." He watched me struggle with dark eyes and I knew he was barely holding it together. His hand left the wall and stroked down my side and then up to my breasts making everything more intense.

When I couldn't take anymore I lost it. "Harder!" I shouted in frustration. "I need it harder!"

He gripped my waist with both hands and drove into me. His lips parted and his lids became heavy.

He pumped harder and faster. Our bodies were slapping together loudly under the spray of warm water.

I screamed out his name when my release came and we slid to the floor together, spent and sated.

Scott threaded his fingers through mine and lifted our hands to stare at them.
 

We were lying in bed, my head was on his shoulder. It felt so right.

"I first saw you years ago, you know."

The quiet confession had me turning my head in surprise. He had told me that he had met me before but he didn't tell me when and I couldn't remember.

"You were thirteen. I knew straight away that you were different from other girls. I couldn't stop thinking about you after that night."

My eyes bugged out. "Thirteen?"

"You were over here visiting Ash and you came to one of my house parties with her." He smiled to himself.

I remembered the party but not much after my first couple of drinks. My mum and I had flown over for easter without my dad for the first time and I had been upset that he had missed it. We had always gone together, as a family. My mum was depressed and I had needed to get out so Ash brought me with her, promising my mum that she would look after me but I ended up very drunk and throwing up. I barely remembered the party. To think he had seen me like that was realÀthat wasly embarrassing.

"I remember." I cringed, "I was drunk."
 

"Yeah, some asshole mixed Tequila in with your drinks." He looked at me. "I was in the bathroom changing and when I came out you were lying on my bed, crying so quietly that I didn't notice you at first. I didn't know who you were but when I sat next to you, you started to tell me what an idiot your dad was and I knew who you were from your accent."
 

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my palm with smiling lips. "You were so fuckin' young and I was sixteen. I thought you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen. You crawled onto my lap and put you're arms around me and you stopped crying. You looked at me and for a minute and then kissed me and I don't mean a chaste, kiss-your-mom kind of kiss but you actually
kissed
me." He chuckled.

"Oh, god, please don't tell me any more." My cheeks heated. I did remember something but it was very vague, too far away to be clear. To think that I had kissed Scott before was weird. I had no recollection of it.

"You were a fuckin' sweet angel and I wanted to kiss you back so much but, you were so young and drunk so I couldn't. I couldn't take advantage of you that way." He groaned.

"I'm sorry." I wasn't really though. A thought occurred to me and I laughed. "Oh, no way!"

"What?" he asked.

"I had my first kiss a few days after my fourteenth birthday behind the bike sheds at school." I looked at him in mock shock, "I'm sorry, but you had my first kiss that night," then a big grin spread on my face.

He laughed, "Don't be sorry, babe, it's how we met and I'll never forget it. You were so wasted. I got Ash and, with help, she took you home where I heard that you blew chunks everywhere." He laughed again. "Ash got into loads of shit with her mum and, later, I explained that someone had spiked your drink and got her off the hook."

"Hey, I was thirteen." I smiled.

He looked at me with love in his eyes and pulled me closer to him for a deep kiss that took my breath away. "For a long time afterwards I waited for any mention of you from Ash and it wasn't that often. When I first saw you at Macy's I didn't know it was you but you reminded me of thirteen-year-old-you and I had to have you. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I've changed quite a bit since I was thirteen."

"I didn't realise it was actually you until you spoke." He kissed my hand again, "Ash warned me away from you the next day, said if I so much as looked at you wrong then our friendship was at an end. She said you'd been hurt enough already, so I didn't know what to do." He sighed, "I became your friend but it was so fuckin' hard. I started to fall in love with you straight away and there wasn't a fuckin' thing that I could do to stop it."

"Scott, you don't have to explain because I've struggled too." I swallowed and looked at him. "It's been so hard to watch you with other girls and I don't understand why you do it."

He took a breath and threaded his fingers through mine, "Babe, I tried to forget about us and get over you, I fuckin' tried. Those girls don't mean anything to me and they never have." He looked away with a hint of sadness touching his mouth, "I get lonely and I can't stand being alone all the time. Since you came here, I've imagined that they–" he swallowed, "–I imagined that I was with you instead of them."

I gasped and thought about the amount of times I had imagined his hands on me when someone else was touching me.

"I admit that sometimes, I just wanted to make you jealous or mad but, baby, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I didn't know how to get you. You’ve been breaking my fuckin' heart."

So that was why he slept around so much. Not out of want but out of loneliness. I could understand that and I wouldn't hold it against him because I had hurt him too.

"We've hurt each other. When I walked in on you and that girl having sex on the sofa, I wanted to scream. It hurt me so much. The fact that you were using cocaine just made it ten times bloody worse. It reminded me of a similar place in my past that I would rather forget."

He looked away, "Babe, I started using that while I was away. At first it helped me, took me away from life. I missed my dad and I missed you but I couldn't call you in the state I was in." He looked at me, his eyes full with regret. "I didn't want you to see any weakness in me and I didn't want you to be with me out of pity. I was angry with you because of all the times you pushed me away." He brushed a hand over my hair, "You dont know how many times I almost called you and wrote text messages that I never sent. After a while, it was like I needed it to get through the day. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, babe, I was in a bad place and too proud to ask you for help, even though I knew you would have given it. You’re so good. I don't think you understand what a breath of fresh air you are to me."
 

He rolled on top of me then and kissed me, "you're mine, Emma. I love you more than anything and I'm not letting you go. I'll never do that shit again and I haven't since that night. You scared the shit out of me, you know. I thought you were going to die in my arms–" He shut his eyes for a moment before opening them again. "I can never go through that again." He rained kisses all over my face before smiling down at me. His face was relaxed and content and it looked good on his face. He was even more gorgeous now than he ever had been.

I stroked his hair, "I didn't want to push you away. I was afraid because of my parents but that doesn't matter now because I know that I'm unhappy when you're not with me. The thought of you going away for months on tour is horrible. I want you to stay with me."

Scott’s face lit up. "That’s good because you're coming with me."

"Oh?"

"I’m not taking no for an answer, babe. If you don't come with me, then I'm not fuckin' going."
 

"You don't need to persuade me. You’re asking someone who wants to be a tour manager when she grows up to go along with a real touring band? Like I would ever say no to that."

"And I don't want you to move either."

I sat up and he rolled to the side, "
I've already given my notice to the agent. He knows that I'll be leaving."

"That agent works on my behalf."

I frowned, what was he talking about?

"My dad owned this house and when he died everything got passed to me. This house is mine and I want – I'm
asking
— you to stay." His green eyes were hopeful and I couldn't say no to that.

"Okay, I'll stay but Ash might be a bit annoyed, the new place has a jacuzzi and a great view."
 

He threw me a look that said,
I don'Àid,
It give a fuck
. Then he pulled me back and tucked me next to him.

I put my hand on his chest and snuggled, sleep was calling.
 

"I love you, Emma." He murmured as he drifted off.

"And I love you, Scott." I kissed his chest and sleep took me quicker than it had in a long time.
 

What lay ahead seemed bright. All my worries vanished, he made me feel stronger than I had ever felt and my fears were finally being buried along with the hurtful memories. I was looking forward to the future again, a future where I got to be with Scott every day, a future that had a tour in it and I couldn't wait for it.

Rocked #2

Coming 2013