Rock Bottom (Dragon Within #4) (11 page)

    
Our
footsteps echoed off the walls. Our breath puffed little white clouds in the
cold. Have you ever had the feeling the air was pressing down on you? That it
was alive with ghosts or something? That’s how it felt to walk those deserted
halls. It was no place I ever would have gone on my own.

    
Finally
we came to an empty, smallish room with a trapdoor in the ceiling. I used a
puff of air to push the right ceiling tile out of the way and bring the ladder
down. The first time I did this, the ladder made such a racket my heart nearly
exploded from fear that someone would hear.

    
It was
just as loud now as then, but I’d gotten so used to it that it didn’t scare me
anymore. Yet, I still found myself pausing for a moment with my breath held,
hoping no one came around to see what the noise was all about.

    
Jonah
tucked the flashlight into the waistband of his jeans and started up the
ladder. I waited until he’d cleared the opening before I followed him. No
matter how many times I’d done this, it still gave me a crawling feeling as my
back scraped against the opposite wall.

    
Whoever
made this vertical tunnel clearly had no extra padding on their bodies. I was
by no means a large girl, but I wasn’t a stick figure either. My greatest fear
was that my butt would get stuck and I would then die of embarrassment. It
hadn’t happened, but that didn’t stop me from thinking about it each and every
time we did this.

    
It was
always a relief when Jonah opened the hatch at the top and the muted sunlight
hit my face.

    
We
climbed out through a screening of brush and into the woods. The dirt path
leading away was getting more pronounced than it had been the first time he
brought me out there. “You know,” I said, “anybody coming from the other direction
wouldn’t have too much trouble following our path right to the hatch.”

    
“Who
would be out here?” Jonah asked. “We’re deep in the woods. Deeper than anybody
would ever come. Don’t worry about it.”

    
Of course
I worried about it. I don’t know if you noticed this, but I had a tendency to
worry about
everything
.

    
Once we
reached the stream, we settled down on the ground and started the training
session the way we started all of them, with meditation. I never would have
thought I would ever say this, but I was getting pretty good at it. I didn’t
even need Jonah to guide me anymore.

    
I closed
my eyes and dropped down inside myself to a wooded place not unlike the one
surrounding us in the real world. Only my woods were much quieter. Nothing
lived there. No birds. No insects. Not even the wind. Only me and the trees and
the pond standing at the center of my inner world.

    
The water
of this pond was a shade of blue no water in the real world could ever be. I’d
never dipped my hand into it, but I was sure if I did it wouldn’t be clear the
way real water is. It would still be blue.

    
I knelt
on the bank of the pond and leaned over to look down into it. Nothing was
reflected back at me. Another way in which the pond wasn’t like real water.
Jonah called this place the well spring of my power, which sounded kind of
goofy to me, but whatever.

    
I kept on
leaning until I lost my balance and fell forward. My mental eyes closed and my
physical eyes opened. I never stayed long enough to know what would happen if I
really let myself hit the water.

    
All the
tension had drained out of my body, leaving me feeling calm and relaxed.
“Okay.” I got to my feet. “I’m ready.”

    
Jonah
went over and climbed up on the boulder. “Float me on over to the other
side.”
     

    
I
manipulated the air around the boulder and lifted it as easily as I would have
lifted a pencil with my hand. A dragon’s power is less about force than it is
about will. That’s why it works better if I don’t concentrate too hard. If I
tried to
make
the air do what I wanted it to do then nothing would
happen. Instead I had
let
the air do what I wanted it to do. Confused
yet? Imagine how I felt.

    
The
boulder settled down on the other side of the stream. “Enjoying your magic
carpet ride?” I asked.

    
Jonah
laughed. “If I were an air dragon I’d never walk again. Bring me back.”

    
I
returned the boulder to its original spot, then, with no prompting from Jonah,
I turned to the stream. It was easy enough to pluck out ten individual drops of
water and bring them to me, but what I really wanted was to make an icicle
weapon out of them the way I had seen Zack and Megara do. Wouldn’t that
surprise her?

    
The water
moved into the correct form, but try as I might I couldn’t convince it to turn
to ice. My face scrunched as I pushed harder, insisting the water do what I
wanted it to do. And just like that I lost it. The drops fell to the earth. I
sighed.

    
“You’re
doing well.” Jonah said, sliding down from the boulder. “Don’t be discouraged.”

      
“I
can’t help it. All this training and Megara is still wiping the floor with me.
Literally. I would like to be able to hit her back once in awhile instead of
defending until she breaks through.” The stream churned in response to my
agitation.
 

  
  
“So why don’t you?”

    
I
scoffed. “How? I can’t even make an icicle.”

    
“All this
time running, and you haven’t once had to fight to protect yourself?”

    
“I have.
I just...” I shifted my gaze from his. “It’s not something I like to think
about.”

    
“You need
to think about it,” Jonah said. “Whatever is holding you back in your training
with Megara, it’s not your powers. It something else.” His voice turned soft.
“Tell me what happened.”

    
I shook
my head. “I can’t.”

    
“Of course
you can.” He rested his hands on my shoulders. “Are we not friends? Did I not
tell you my deepest, most dangerous secret? You’re afraid. I can see it your
eyes. And fear is the surest thing for holding you down. Whatever you got
locked up inside your head, you need to let it out.”

    
“You
don’t understand.” I somehow found a way to meet his gaze. “I... I killed
people. I didn’t mean to. But I did. My emotions took over and I reacted and
two people died. I can’t... What if I try to fight back and I hurt Megara? What
if I kill her? Or someone else?” I shrugged out from under his hands and paced
away to face across the stream.

    
“I could
do it.” I crossed my arms. “I could kill someone.” The thought sent a shiver
through me. “You’re right. I am afraid. I’ve
been
afraid ever since this
thing started. And it doesn’t get any better.”

    
“These
two people you killed, were they threatening you?” Jonah asked.

    
“Well,
yeah, but--”

    
“Have you
ever hurt anyone who
wasn’t
threatening you?”

    
“No, but
--”

    
“Stop
with the buts,” Jonah said. “I can’t say as I know how it feels to take a life.
I’ve never done it. But I think I’ve gotten to know you well enough to
understand why you’re having so much trouble.”

    
Jonah
wrapped his arms around me from behind, which surprised and unnerved me a
little, but was kind of nice too. Comforting. “You listen to me now,” he said.
“What you did was what you had to do. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel bad
about it. You’d be a different kind of person if you could kill without it
getting to you.

    
“What I
am
saying is that you did nothing wrong. This is not a game we’re playing.
Someone tries to kill you, then you have a right to try and kill them first.
You don’t have to let Megara knock you around. Your gut knows she’s not trying
to kill you. You’re not going to kill her either. I promise you that. Knocking
her on her
arse
a time or too, that you might do.
Might even do her some good.”

    
I
laughed. “Yeah? I’d like to see you say that to her face.”

    
“Not me.
I don’t fancy being thrown through a wall. But you,” he took my arms and gently
turned me to face him, “could be a match for her. If you let go of the fear.”

    
“Easier
said than done.”

    
“I know.
But I believe you can do it. Now if you would only believe in yourself.”

    
I almost
told him then, about giving his secret away to Zack. Only I didn’t. Because
looking into his eyes I knew he meant what he said. I can’t imagine why, but he
really did have faith in me. And I didn’t want to change that by revealing my
betrayal. Besides, it was only Zack. He wasn’t going to tell Megara anything. I
was sure of that.

    
“I’m
trying,” I said. “I really am. Megara’s stronger than me. I probably couldn’t
kill her even if I wanted to, let alone by accident.”

    
“That’s
not exactly having faith in yourself,” Jonah said with a hint of amusement.
“But if it’ll get you to where you can push back, then hold on to that thought.
It’s a start.”

    
After I
left Jonah, I headed to the cafeteria to meet with my friends. I had a lot
sitting on my mind. It’s funny how sometimes a person can say something to you
that gets you to thinking in a way you haven’t done before.

    
“Hey,
guys,” I said as I sat at the table. A tray was already waiting there for me
thanks to Brandy. Something I really appreciated, even though she always piled
on way more food than I could actually eat.

    
Everyone
said hi back, but in this weirdly awkward kind of way that involved not looking
directly at me. Everyone except for Brandy, that is. She looked at me all
right, with her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. No hello from her, just this
sort of
noncommital
noise in the back of her throat.

    
I paused
with a
french
fry already halfway to my mouth.
“What’s wrong?”

    
Brandy
looked around the table. Nobody would look back at her. I slowly lowered my fry
back to my plate. I hadn’t paid any attention to it at first, but they had gone
silent when I arrived, as if my friends were talking about something they
didn’t want me to hear. Or maybe they were talking about me. Uh oh.

    
“No one
is going to say anything?” Brandy asked.

    
“Why
don’t you chill and let the girl eat.” Hannah replied.

    
“Okay,
something is obviously wrong,” I said. “Someone tell me.” I looked at Hannah,
since she was so quick to speak up. She picked at the bun of her burger.
“Brandy?”

    
“It comes
as no surprise I should be the one to have to say this.” She wiped her mouth
primly with her napkin, then placed it on the table next to her tray. “We’re
concerned about your recent behavior.”

    
“What?”
My lips did one of those half smile things. “What are you talking about?”

    
“This
whole business of training,” Brandy said. “We understand your need to come
under control of your... powers,” she always said the word like it left a bad
taste in her mouth, “but this is getting a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?

    
“We
hardly ever see you anymore, save to watch you pick at your food. When you
aren’t training, you’re sleeping. We fear this is becoming an unhealthy
obsession. And we don’t much care to think of the influence Megara may be
exerting over you.”

    
“So, this
is what you all think?” I looked around the table. “That I’m obsessed? Is this
an intervention?”

    
Derek
cleared his throat. “I think obsessed might be too strong of a word, but yes,
we are worried. Megara has an agenda. She wants to turn you into some kind of
soldier. If she’s the only person you’re spending time with then she could be
using that to influence you. Besides, all this training can’t be healthy for
your body. We think you need to take a break before you make yourself sick.”

    
“Hey,
quit it with this ‘we’ stuff, all right?” Hannah twisted in her seat to face
me. “I think it’s awesome you’re so into training. There are people out there
right now who seriously want to kill you. If that’s not worth a little
obsession, then I don’t know what is.”
 

    
“Will you
please stay out of this?” Brandy glared at her. “You don’t know Abigail like I
do. You can’t see how she’s changed.”

    
“I think
I know her pretty well,” Hannah shot back. “I bet I even know a thing or two
that you don’t.”

    
My first
thought was, god, Hannah was going to say something about the first time Zack
kissed me. And that was something I did not need happening right then. “What do
you mean I’ve changed?” I asked before Hannah could have a chance to say
anything else.

    
“You
don’t talk to anyone anymore,” Brandy said. “Not even me. You sit here, you barely
touch your food, you don’t string more than a handful of words together, and
then you’re gone again. It’s not like you to ignore your friends. Have you even
had a single conversation with your brother’s fiancé?”