Roberts, Sarah - Action Hero Junkie [Movieland] (BookStrand Publishing Romance) (14 page)

Marti agreed. She rummaged in her handbag and came up with her cross stitch needles. “All these locks look ancient. I bet this will work.”

Marti knit her brows in concentration and delicately plied the cross stitch needles to the lock. It clicked. Mia high-fived her before they very quietly eased the door open. They looked through it at a huge, sumptuous bedroom suite. Mia knew instantly whose suite it had to be, and she made a face. “I’ll give you two guesses whose bedroom that is.”

Marti frowned, looking puzzled. “I’ve been thinking, Mia. It’s really weird, but I keep thinking the lounge-lizard in charge looks familiar.”

Mia braced herself. She remembered how well she had taken to the realization she was inside of a movie. And she’d had Aiden beside her. “Uh, Marti? Do you remember the movie we were watching?”

“Well, sure I do! We were grabbed right there in the theater and—”
Marti’s eyes rounded. “No-no-no! You’re not saying that—that guy
can’t
be the commandant! He’s just in a
movie
! He’s
not real
!” She looked around, kind of dazed and horrified. Her body folded, and she plopped onto the floor on her butt. “I do not
believe
this! I
do not
believe this!”

Mia gently closed the door on the commandant’s bedroom. No one was in there at the moment, but she didn’t know when a servant or someone else might walk in. Until Marti got over her mild hysterics, Mia thought it would be best to play like the door hadn’t been picked open.

Mia kept her voice very mild and nonjudgmental. “The first time, I went into major meltdown. You’re doing really good!”

Marti glared at her. “I am
fine
! It’s just the
shock
.” A trembling grin tugged at her lips. “I’ve always wanted to be in the movies.” She giggled and fell back on the floor, waving her arms and legs madly in the air.

Mia looked down at her worriedly. “Marti, you’re starting to worry me. You’re not going to snap or anything, are you? Because I really don’t think I can think of a way to save us if you go wacko on me!”

Marti sat up. Calmly, she climbed to her feet and dusted herself off. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pressed her palms together. “Ahm…ahm…ahm…”

“I hate to point this out, but I don’t think this is the time to go into a Zen state.”

“I am
centering
myself.”

“Okay, grasshopper. But hurry it up. We need to find a way out of here before torture guy comes back.”

Mia’s sarcasm kind of snapped Marti back. She gave a decisive nod. “Right. Focus on our priorities. First, escape. Second, deal with craziness. Third, don’t follow any mad hatters.”

“Do you have an important date?” Mia quipped. Marti shot her a look that should have seared her like fish on a hot grill. Mia grinned at her and made kissy-fish noises. “You love me. You know you do.”

“Dork.”

“Freak.”

They grinned at each other.

Mia felt better. Maybe some of Marti’s centering had rubbed off on her. She rubbed her hands together and glanced around the torture chamber. “Okay, let’s see if there is anything around here that could be useful.”

“Like maybe a phone?”

Mia just looked at her. “Right. Like a phone.”

Mia didn’t really want to touch anything, so she just did a lot of peering into the corners of the room and around the contraptions with chains. Marti was poking around in the squatty dresser, muttering to herself. When Mia glanced at her, she saw that Marti had her face screwed up, like she smelled something bad.

There was nothing in the fun house that they could use, except a few knives. Mia thoughtfully took those and tucked them here and there in her clothes. Marti silently watched her, not looking horrified or anything, just watching her. Mia defended herself. “I’m a nurse. I can probably slice and dice if I have to. I’m just saying.” Marti only nodded. There was a window in the room, but it had metal bars set in it, so that wasn’t an escape option.

They opened the door to the bedroom suite. Mia scurried over to the door that would open onto the same corridor that the torture room faced. Slowly, ever so slowly, she pushed an iron bolt into place. That would stop someone from coming in and surprising them.

Marti was still looking for a phone or another door or anything else that could help them. She disappeared into another room and reemerged. “Bathroom,” she whispered.

“I’ll check over here.” Mia opened another door and then just stood in awe. It was a huge step-in closet. The commandant was a clothes horse. The man had a serious wardrobe, all fancy uniforms and shiny boots and military hats. There was a big corkboard covered with all kinds and sizes of medals and ribbons. One entire wall was paneled with mirrors. Mia could just imagine him strutting in front of the mirror, admiring his newest uniform and shiniest medals. If he had been a villain with a long moustache, he probably would have twirled the ends.

Mia shut the door and shook her head. “Just the closet.”

“That leaves—” Marti’s gaze traveled to the bank of wide windows opening along the outside wall. There was a gorgeous view of sky and ocean and nothing else. Mia didn’t like the “nothing else” part. Marti hurried over and leaned out. When she pulled her head in, she looked excited. “This is our way out!”

Mia joined her. She looked out of the window.
Still just sky and ocean.
She looked down. The wall looked almost sheer, and there were rocks and waves crashing far, far below at the bottom. Only a tiny, tiny strip of ground separated the ocean and rocks from the wall. Mia swallowed. She backpedaled away from the window. “Nuh-uh. No way, no how.”

“Oh, come on, Mia! It’s not that bad. Look, it’s not much different from the rock wall at home.”

“Oh yes, it is.” Mia had gone with Marti a few times to the gym and tried the climbing wall with her. Marti was like a lizard on that rock. Mia spent more time dangling in the harness than she did crab-walking from one itty bitty piece to the next. It probably had to do with her center of gravity. “You are not Thelma, and I am not Louise.”

Marti took Mia’s hand and started talking to her in her soothing nurse voice. “Now, now. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll go first. I’ll tell you where to put your hands and your feet. It will be fine, I promise!”

“I can’t! I just can’t do it, Marti!” Mia kept seeing a vision of herself, over and over, going
splat
on those rocks and the waves turning red. She felt kind of sick to her stomach. Mia really felt bad for Wile E. Coyote. She would never laugh at him again.

“Well, we can’t stay here! Creepy, mean guy is going to come back! And he likes big pliers!”

She had a point.

Mia sucked up her meager courage. “Okay, roadrunner. I’ll go out the window. Beep-beep.”

Marti looked at her kind of funny. “You worry me sometimes, Mia. You really do.”

“I worry myself. Especially when I agree to
climb down a cliff with no harness
!” Mia was bleating the last bit because Marti had already swung her legs out of the window, and her head was disappearing. Mia clutched the windowsill hard and watched her start climbing down. Pretty soon, she looked up. Marti smiled at her. Her eyes were shining.

Mia wondered why she had ever liked her.

“Okay, Mia! Your turn! You saw where I put my feet and hands, didn’t you? So
come on
. I’ll talk you down. You can
do
it, girl!”

“Iksnay with the rah-rah,” Mia muttered. But she didn’t say it too loud. She was too busy edging herself over the windowsill and feeling with her feet. She felt butterflies fluttering low in her belly. It was not a comforting feeling. Then all she could see, just inches in front of her face, was rough stone and rock. Mia’s fingers soon felt like she had used sandpaper on them. She was sweating. It was annoying to have sweat trickling down from her forehead into her eyes and not being able to wipe it away. The whole time, she could hear Marti’s cheerful voice.

Mia was so glad that she never shut up.

The waves sounded louder. Every time Mia heard them crashing on the rocks, she flinched. But she didn’t look down. She just behaved like a good crab and inched her way sideways and down and zigged and zagged some more.

“Okay, Mia! I’m down now. Just a little farther. Put your foot to the left. That’s it. Just a little far—”

“Oh, thank you God.” Mia concentrated on the last few holds. Then her reaching, searching foot touched terra firma. “Yes, yes, yes!” She let go of the hated rock wall, gave it a one-fingered salute, and spun around, grinning like a fool.

Mia’s face kind of froze.

Marti was standing with her hands raised up above her head. There were two men, one pointing a rifle at Marti and the other one pointing a rifle at her.
Well, howdy-do-de.
Mia groaned in exasperation. “I am so darn tired of looking down the wrong end of a projectile tube!”

“You will come with us.”

Mia planted her hands on her hips and tried to brazen it out.
It’s a movie. Nobody really dies.
“Or what? You’re going to shoot us?” She heard a moan come from Marti’s direction. Suddenly, Mia wasn’t so confident.
Okay, wait. If we’re inside the movie, then maybe we can die.
The logic was twisted, but, unfortunately, sound.

Mia stared at the man.

The man grinned. He didn’t have all of his teeth. His nose looked like it had been broken more than once. He was not a handsome fellow. He cocked the gun. Mia could hear the cold metallic click over the crash of the waves.

“Oh. Okay. Since you put it that way.”

Marti and Mia were hustled down to the low-rising rocks. Spray misted over them, and Mia could practically feel her hair frizzing up. She scowled.
Bad hair is absolutely the last straw.
There was a tiny strip of beach where there was a beached rowboat. The escort forced the two women at gunpoint to sit in the boat. Then one of the men took the oars, and the other sat in the prow of the boat with his gun pointing at the captives.

Mia didn’t like the way the gun barrel shifted every time the boat bounced over a wave. It was kind of like watching a cobra’s weaving head. Very, very dangerous. She cleared her throat. “You’re not the commandant’s men?”

Both of the men hawked and spit into the surging saltwater.

“Guess not. So! Where are we going? Pretty how the sun sparkles on the water. Are we going to be crab meat?” Mia felt the hard jab of an elbow in her ribs. She looked at Marti. “
What
!”

Marti glared at her. “Just shut up, Mia! Shut up!”

“We take you to Cadero.”

Mia sighed. “Oh, this will be fun.”

* * * *

The boat trip wasn’t that long, just a short row across the narrow neck of a sea channel. The man rowed the boat so close to the beach that the boat bottom scraped on sand. The man in the prow motioned his gun at the women. “You will get out now!”

Marti looked over the side of the boat. Her brows snapped together. “There’s still ocean out there.” She pointed down at her little black slip-ons. “These are expensive leather!”

The man in the prow cocked his gun. It sounded very loud over the lazy slap of water against the boat.

Mia plastered a smile on her face. She waved in a friendly way at the gunman, while she whispered fiercely out of the corner of her mouth. “Uh, Marti—
gun?
”

Marti sniffed. She slipped off her shoes and carefully put them into her huge handbag. Adjusting the handbag so that it was lying across her back, she swung over the side of the boat with graceful ease, splashing feetfirst into the shallow waves.

Mia clambered over the side, grunting, and jumped awkwardly into the water. It was only about calf high, so she didn’t think there would be any sharks. She waded to shore, following her girlfriend. Mia was wearing tennies, so she hadn’t bothered removing them. It was hot enough that her shoes would steam dry.

One of the men pulled the boat up onto the beach. The other one paced beside the two women, his gun angled toward them. Mia and Marti didn’t run and not just because of the armed men. There was simply nowhere to go. There was just a big jumble of rocks jutting straight up out of the white sand.

The nearest man grunted at them and pointed with his gun at the rocks.

Mia sighed. “Why am I not surprised?” She looked at Marti and crossed her eyes. “Do I
look
like a mountain goat?”

Marti giggled. “No, silly! You don’t have a goatee!”

Both men hawked and spit and glared.

“I don’t think they appreciate our humor.”

Marti shrugged. “I don’t care what they think.” She put her shoes back on.

One of the men climbed up the rocks. Mia and Marti followed him. The other man closed up behind them. Mia hoped the gun he was holding didn’t go off accidentally. It had to be pointed right at her butt.

They climbed for what seemed a long time. Marti just kept moving ahead, never faltering, but Mia had to push herself to keep up. Mia glared at Marti’s slim back, panting. “Unfair! You’ve always been freakily athletic.”

Marti glanced down over her shoulder, grinning. “Come on, Mia! Keep up!”