Authors: Tracie Peterson
Grace untied the neck of her nightgown with her free hand. “No, nothing. God has seen to making this quite a selfsufficient matter.” She positioned the crying baby to her breast and watched as he began rooting. She startled when he latched on and began to suck.
Leah laughed. “He must be pretty hungry. You must be hungry too. I’ll fix you some food.”
Grace nodded. She was feeling both hungry and weary. When Leah had gone to the stove, Grace returned her gaze to the dark-haired baby. How wondrous and awesome to hold something so tiny, so alive, and know that it came about because of the love she shared with her husband. God had given her a son—a son who would no doubt be very much like his father.
As if to concur, Andy opened his eyes and looked up at her. Grace couldn’t help smiling. She saw the future in her son’s eyes. She saw the hope that she and Peter could one day be united again in love.
“Oh, let it be, dear Father,” she whispered.
To their surprise, not more than an hour after his departure, Crispin Thibault returned to their tent. He brought with him a none-to-pleased local doctor. The man grunted a greeting to Grace and Leah, then immediately took the baby in hand to examine him.
“I thought you might both rest better if a doctor were to declare everything well done,” Crispin announced.
Leah pulled the blanket across the roping to afford Grace and the doctor some privacy. She turned to Crispin and smiled. “Will you stay?” she asked hopefully.
“No.” His voice was flat and void of emotion. “I can’t.”
“Because of Miranda?”
Crispin looked blankly at Leah for a moment. “Yes.”
“It hurts a lot to lose someone you love. I know because I’ve lost both my ma and pa. I was really scared to be here with Grace, and I know I couldn’t have done it without you. See, my mama died trying to have a baby. I was scared Grace would die, too.”
“Yes, well,” Crispin stammered in obvious discomfort, “it’s all behind us now.”
“But it’s not,” Leah said, putting her hand on his arm. “You won’t stay with us because of Miranda’s death. You blame yourself, but it isn’t your fault.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” His voice took on a gruff edge. “I need to go. The snow has abated, and no doubt Karen will return.”
“Please, Crispin, don’t go. I know how you feel inside, but the whiskey won’t help.”
“You talk as one who knows, and yet you’re a child.”
“My mama said whiskey was nothing more than a crutch some folks used to help them hobble down the road to hell.”
Crispin actually smiled at this. “I suppose her to be correct in that statement.”
“She said God was the only one who could ease our sufferings.”
He frowned again. “I see God as a crutch used by mere mortals to raise them higher to some supposed glory.”
“I don’t mind leaning on God as a crutch,” Leah declared boldly. “I’d sure enough rather lean on God than a bottle.”
“That’s your choice. Now leave me to mine.”
Crispin turned to go, but Leah held fast to his arm. “You can’t just ignore God or your need for Him. My mama always said that without God we’ll never be happy. You do want to be happy again, don’t you, Crispin?”
He looked down at her, his dark gaze penetrating. “I will never be happy again. Not with God. Not without Him.”
He jerked away from her hold and left without even waiting to hear of Grace’s condition. Leah felt a strange desire to run after Crispin. She had admired the man from their first meeting, and when she’d learned that he didn’t believe in God, she felt that perhaps it was her duty to set him straight. But that chance never came, at least not until tonight. As hard as it was to see him leave, Leah thanked God for the opportunity to finally talk to him—no matter how fruitless her words seemed.
“Mrs. Colton is to have complete bed rest for two weeks,” the doctor said as he came from behind the blanket. “She’s clearly not a well woman. This pregnancy has weakened her considerably.”
Leah nodded. “I’ll see to it that she rests.”
“She needs to eat plenty of meat,” he stated as he pulled on his gloves. “Have you meat?”
Leah nodded again. “Adrik shot an elk. We have plenty of food. I’ll see to it that she eats.”
“Good. The baby is small, but time will tell.”
“What do you mean?” Leah questioned.
“I mean,” the doctor said, “he will need much care in order to thrive. It’s nearly thirty below outside. You’re going to have to keep him warm and well fed. If the mother doesn’t make enough milk, you’ll have to supplement his diet with canned or fresh milk—whatever you can lay your hand to. If that can’t be found, fix him a little sugar water and find a bottle with which to feed him in between nursings.”
Leah nodded, fearful that the baby might die. She wanted to ask the doctor of the possibility, but her mouth wouldn’t form the words.
“Lastly, I would make a place for the child between you both. He’ll need the warmth of your bodies to survive. This tent is no place for a newborn, but if you take precautions, he might well live.”
He left in the same quick manner as Crispin had, leaving Leah to stare after him in stunned silence. She had figured now that the baby had been born, and had even cried and nursed, that he would be just fine. She hadn’t even considered that he could die.
She pushed back the curtain and looked to Grace. “I suppose,” she said, seeing the understanding in Grace’s expression, “you heard what the doctor said?”
“I heard him,” Grace replied.
Leah reached out and took hold of Grace’s hand. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you. We’ll see to it that Andy makes good progress. You, too. You’ll rest and take care of Andy, and I’ll bring you meals and take care of everything else.”
Grace bit her lower lip and tears came to her eyes once again. “He must live,” she finally whispered.
“He will,” Leah said, promising in her heart that if she could make it so, it would be.
That night, even though she worried because Karen had never returned to the tent, Leah crawled into bed beside Grace and helped her to nestle Andrew between them. The baby slept without concern for his surroundings, and Leah thought it rather a blessing that he should know so little. The dangers were something she’d just as soon not know about— for knowing only made surviving the night all that much harder.
Leah thought of Crispin and worried about him drinking the night away in one of the many saloons. She wondered, as Grace’s even breathing indicated sleep, if he would get drunk and pass out in the snow as he had when she’d come upon him only that morning.
“God, please take care of Crispin,” she prayed in a hushed whisper. “Let him know how much you love him. Let him come to understand that you really do exist—that you really do care.”
KAREN DIDN’T KNOW when she’d been so tired. Even climbing the Chilkoot Pass hadn’t been as exhausting as working for nearly eighteen hours without a break. First she’d gone to help unload supplies from storage, and then she’d found herself out in the blizzard bringing in wood from the stacked pile behind the café.
After that she waited tables, washed dishes, and was eventually allowed to cook—the job she’d been hired to do in the first place. They’d been so shorthanded that everyone had been forced to pitch in and do a little bit of everything.
Yawning, Karen pushed back the outside tent flap and unfastened the ties of the inner flap. A lantern burned on the stove, but other than that the room was dark and quiet. Grace and Leah had no doubt gone to bed. Yawning again, Karen blew out the lantern and found her way to her own bed. Adrik had built a frame of ropes, and together they’d sewn canvas from their makeshift sail into mattress coverings. These they stuffed with pine boughs and anything else they could find to make a soft resting place.
Sinking into the bed, Karen managed only to kick her boots off before pulling the covers high. Within a moment she was fast asleep.
Strange thoughts and sounds drifted in and out of her dreams. Karen thought at one point that a baby was crying. But her eyes were much too heavy to open and investigate, and her mind was cloudy with thick fog of sleep.
It wasn’t until morning, when she heard Leah moving about the tent, that Karen forced herself to wake up. She didn’t have to report to work until noon and had thought to spend a few extra hours asleep, but the cry of a baby pierced the silence and caused her to bolt upright in bed.
“What’s that?” she asked, throwing back the covers. “Grace, are you all right?”
Leah laughed. “Grace had her baby.”
Karen looked to the wide-eyed child and shook her head. “You’re just kidding me, aren’t you?”
Leah took hold of her hand and pulled her to the blanket partition. “See for yourself.”
Karen looked behind the covers to find Grace smiling at her from a propped up position. The nursing baby seemed completely oblivious to her intrusion.
“I don’t believe it.”
“Neither did we,” Grace replied. “At least not at first.”
“Why didn’t you come get me?” Karen asked, looking to Leah for an answer.
“I did. I went first to get the midwife, but she was on her deathbed. So then I went to find you, but the man at the café said you were off helping get supplies. He promised he’d tell you to come home when you got back, but he wasn’t happy about it.”
“Apparently his displeasure kept him from telling me the truth,” Karen stated, angry that she had been deceived.
“I found Crispin on my way back,” Leah said, then frowned. “He was drunk, but I sobered him up, and he helped me deliver the baby.”
“They did a perfect job and it saved me one hundred dollars,” Grace said, shifting the baby.
Karen was still in a state of disbelief. “So is it a boy or a girl?”
“A boy,” Grace answered. The expression on her face caused Karen’s heart to ache for her friend. No doubt Grace was thinking of Peter and his long absence.
“What have you named him?”
“Andrew. But we call him Andy. Seems like a better fit,” Grace replied.
“Crispin paid for a doctor to come and check on Grace and the baby,” Leah said authoritatively. “The doctor said they both need rest and lots of good food.”
“And no doubt a warm cabin,” Karen threw in. Why couldn’t they have found a home first thing? She couldn’t help but wonder what plan God had for them and why it included Grace giving birth to her son in a chilly tent.
“We were worried about you,” Grace stated, looking rather worried. “Are you all right?”
Karen saw the look of loving concern in her friend’s eyes. “I’m fine. The blizzard seemed to drive folks in to the café rather than keep them away. We had a bevy of folks from the hotels, and those that didn’t come to take a meal at the café sent someone to bring a meal back to them. We were working all day and night.”
“I’ll fix you some breakfast,” Leah said, pushing back the blanket partition. “You just sit down and rest.”
Karen smiled appreciatively and took a chair beside Grace’s bed. “She’s been such a help.”
“That she has. She never balked at the work of helping me with Andrew’s delivery. She and Crispin worked as a remarkable team.”
Karen looked around the tent. “Where is Crispin?”
“He left,” Grace admitted. “He left even before the doctor finished his examination. He looked awful.”
Karen nodded. Adrik had told her on more than one occasion that he had seen Crispin drunk. The news positively broke Karen’s heart. Crispin had cared so very much for Miranda Colton, and he just couldn’t seem to let go of feeling responsible for her loss.
“I hope he’s all right. Adrik should try to talk to him again.”
“Leah did her best to reason with him. I figured if anyone had a chance of getting through to him, it would be her. But Crispin just bolted.”
Karen watched as Grace gently lifted her son to her shoulder. Patting him firmly, she burped him, then looked questioningly at Karen. “Would you care to hold him?”
The longing in Karen’s heart for a child surfaced all at once. “I would love to.” She reached out and took the baby in her arms. He was so small, yet so perfect.
Andrew Colton looked up to Karen with wide blue eyes. His dark brown hair reminded Karen of Grace. “He favors you.”
“He looks like Peter, too,” Grace assured. “I see it in his nose and mouth.” She lowered her face. “I’d give anything to have him here.”
Karen cuddled the baby close and nodded. “I know you would. We’ll get word to him, one way or another. We’ll tell him about his son and we’ll pray that he comes.”
Grace lifted her face. “But I want him to come for more than the baby’s sake. I want him to come because he’s come to love God and he knows what’s right. And I want him to come because he loves me.”
Karen looked at Grace and saw the sadness in her expression. “I know he loves you.”
Andrew closed his eyes while Karen gently rocked him in her arms. How wonderful he felt in her embrace. She couldn’t help but feel a touch of envy. Here Grace was years her junior and she was already a mother. Karen gently handed the sleeping boy back to his mother. She smiled with an assurance she didn’t feel. “I know we’ll find Peter, and I know he loves you.”
“I just about have the flapjacks ready,” Leah called out.
A rustling at the door flap and the stomping of boots brought the attention of all three women to the front of the tent.
“You’d better throw some more of those on the stove,” Adrik Ivankov’s booming voice rang out.
“Adrik!” Karen exclaimed and jumped to her feet. She threw herself into her husband’s ice-encrusted arms.
Adrik hugged her tight and kissed her soundly. Karen thrilled to his touch, feeling a wave of longing rush over her. They’d had so little privacy since they got married. There was rarely any opportunity for intimacy between them.
Jacob stumbled in behind Adrik. “I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving,” Leah called out.
Karen pulled away from her husband and laughed. “Oh, it’s so good to have you both back. I have wonderful news for you.”
“We have some pretty good news ourselves,” Adrik said, pulling off his heavy coat.
“Well, I can’t imagine it can top this,” Karen said, motioning to Grace. “Grace has a new son.”