Rite of Rejection (Acceptance Book 1) (13 page)

“According to E, the edge of the PIT is the original site. There weren’t as many Rejects then. As the Machine rejected more people, they just kept expanding the fence to include more land.”

We turn the final corner leading to the last row of buildings and it’s clear why no one lives out here. If the bunk we live in is run-down, the ones out here are dilapidated. Some of them have tin roofs or small porches, but most are little more than three walls leaning against each other. An air of desolation hangs around everything like a thick layer of dust.

We have ten buildings to search tonight so long as I don’t freeze first. I’m keeping an eye out for any item that could be useful, but the main search is still for anything that floats.

Without flashlights, we have to depend on the moon filtering through the glassless windows to see. It takes forever to search each building, creeping from one spot of light to the next, sticking hands into unseen corners. Outside the cracked walls, the wind blows through the holes of missing doors and windows, stirring up dirt into the air.

We’re only in the third house, but it feels like we’ve been out here for hours already. My thin mattress and stained pillow call to me, making each step harder to take. The room looks deserted, but we have to walk through and make sure we aren’t missing anything in the dark. This would be a much easier task during the day, but we can’t risk someone seeing what we’re up to.

“Let’s split up so we can go faster.” Eric’s voice cuts across the silence and I’m torn. Half of me thinks Eric is brilliant because anything that gets us done faster is wonderful. The other half thinks he’s lost all his marbles. I can’t walk into a pitch-black room by myself, feeling around for useful objects.

Eric shuffles to the door, but pauses when I don’t answer him. “Come on, it’s freezing out here and I’ll only be one building away.”

My desire to get out of the cold wins out over my fear. “Okay, just don’t go far.”

Eric takes off for the next house and I creep into the darkened room on my own. I slide my feet along the wall, taking my time so I don’t trip. A soft shuffling freezes my steps. The dim light makes it impossible to see the source of the noise. I open my mouth to call out to Eric, but my throat is dry. I can’t force out any sound. The noise sounds again, and this time two eyes stare out of the dark corner, glaring right at me.

I take one tentative step back, and then another. A crash from the corner echoes through the room and I don’t wait to find out what it is. I turn and run for the door as fast as my frozen legs can carry me. Whoever is back there doesn’t sound like he’s following me, but I’m not taking any chances.

What are we doing out here? This place might have been deserted during the day, but not anymore. For all we know a deranged lunatic could be in the corner, lying in wait for a defenseless victim to come wandering in.

I burst through the door of the next bunk and collide with Eric. I know it’s him from the familiar curve of his chest. My nails dig into his arm, desperate to cling to the safety he offers.

“Becca, what’s wrong?” Eric’s hands rove over my shivering body checking for injuries. “Are you alright?”

I nod. My lungs are burning from my sprint and I can’t catch my breath to tell him what happened.

Eric eases me back out of the building and we sit on the remains of its wooden porch. He pulls me closer as I work to calm my breathing.

“Someone…inside the house.” I finally get out enough words to explain why I barreled into him.

“Okay, you’re fine now, Becca. No one followed you over here. It was probably just an Under hiding out for the night.”

I’m sure he’s right. The warmth of Eric’s arm around my shoulders brings a relief both from my fear and the bitter cold of the ocean wind. We haven’t made enough progress, but I’m certain I can’t go back inside another building tonight. Eric must sense my defeat as well.

“What do you say we take a break from scavenging for one night?”

I nod and Eric guides me up till we face each other, his strong arms wrapping me up in comfort. “Come with me, I want to show you something.”

Eric leads me few streets away to a building that doesn’t look any different from the others. Hopping up on a tottering crate, he reaches down for me to join him. I hesitate. I’m not afraid of heights, but I really just want to go home to the comfort of my saggy bed.

“Trust me, it’s worth it.” And because I do trust him, I hold out my arms and let Eric pull me up to the flat roof of the old bunkhouse. “Now look,” Eric says pointing out to a spot far in the distance.

At first I can’t see anything but a field of darkness, like an artist has painted the scene with thick, black paint. But then I notice small shimmers in the midst of the obscurity. Moonlight glimmers off the ground in a way I’ve never seen before. Beneath the sparse light, the ground unfurls, like tall blades of prairie grass in the wind. It hits me.

“Is that the…?”

“Magical, isn’t it? When the waves crest, the moon catches the surface and puts on a light show.” His arm spreads across the cool air and mimics the undulations of the water in front of us.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” No one I know has ever seen the coast, and it certainly isn’t something I ever thought I’d see. It’s like the PIT is giving us a little present; a consolation prize for living with grey drab every day. “It’s beautiful.”
“I agree.”

I turn to Eric, but he isn’t staring at the rolling ocean any more. Reaching up, he tucks a strand of short hair the wind has blown loose back behind my ear. All of Eric’s features are highlighted in the white light of the moon. His strong chin and broad mouth. Even his nose, which looks a little crooked this close. There’s no denying that he’s handsome.

Eric steps closer, taking both of my hands in his own. I have no experience in situations like this, but I’m almost certain he’s going to kiss me. Pretty soon we’ll be married, even if it is only a document. I want him to kiss me.

I slide forward the tiniest bit, unable to resist the draw of his warmth. His eyes close and his head dips down towards mine, so I lift up my face to meet him.

His lips are warm and salty against mine. His mouth pushes down into mine, sending a flood of warmth through my body. Familiar hands move to the small of my back, finding a perfect spot to rest, pulling me closer. I’m not sure what to do with my hands, but they find a natural place on Eric’s shoulders.

Cheryl and I spent countless hours imagining the fateful moments of our first kisses. I always pictured it happening while sitting on my parent’s front porch, rocking on the hanging swing. Crickets would serenade me and my future husband while lightning bugs created the perfect atmosphere. We’d be sipping tall glasses of lemonade and holding hands because the thought of a firm hand holding mine always sounded perfect.

My dream man would lean in and whisper ‘I love you’ in my ear and I would smile back and say ‘I love you, too.’ And then, because we both know that kind of declaration is always followed shortly by an engagement, he would kiss me. Our lips touching for the first time would be a brief, but sweet promise of years of kisses to come.

Eric’s kiss doesn’t hold any of that promise. He’s never said he loves me and I wouldn’t be able to say it back. But maybe that doesn’t matter anymore. I wrap my hands around his neck and deepen the kiss, pushing myself to feel…more. This is my future. Eric is my future.

Porch swings and lemonade belong to Cheryl now. My first kiss is a rundown rooftop and ocean waves crashing in the background. The PIT has taken too much. I’m claiming this moment. It owes me this first kiss.

I squeeze my eyes tight against the flood of emotions fighting to claw out of my chest. Every touch of Eric’s lips telling me this isn’t really what I want. An unbidden picture of Daniel pops into my mind, his strong dark arms a stark contrast against the faded green of my dress as he holds me close. A sharp pain blossoms in my chest and I struggle to push it back down. Much too soon and yet not soon enough, Eric pulls away, his forehead resting against my own.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I first met you in that restaurant.”

That day feels like a lifetime ago, but only a few months have passed. I’ve changed so much in such a short period of time. But some things don’t change and I’m suddenly uncomfortable with how close Eric is standing and how familiar his arms feel around my waist.

Guilt sweeps through me when I think of Daniel back in the bunkhouse with Elizabeth. I’ve tried to push my feelings for him away. I convinced myself it was nothing more than admiration, maybe an innocent crush, but I can’t pretend that’s the case anymore. Elizabeth should hate me more than she does. I step back from the contact with Eric, needing a blast of the chilly night air to clear my head.

Eric’s eyes show the hurt at my reaction. I should apologize, explain that I don’t know how to do this. But how can I tell him that kissing him feels wrong because we aren’t on my parents’ porch, and I don’t love him, and that I really just want to kiss his sister’s boyfriend.

“Eric—” I focus over his shoulder so I don’t have to look him in the eye. A reflection of light interrupts the bland monotony of the hundreds of black rooftops. “Look.” I spin him around and rush to the edge of the roof. Right behind the house next door the moon highlights row upon row of metal barrels.

Eric helps me scramble down off the roof and I’m too distracted by the blue barrels to be bothered by the way his hand lingers on my waist. Adrenaline pumps through me, warming my hands and feet as I bend to examine each barrel. Some of them are hopelessly cracked or have big holes from who knows how many years of sitting outside in the salty air. It’ll take a while to go through all of them but there are enough that even if over half aren’t usable, we’ll still have a decent-sized raft.

“What are they doing here?” I’ve seen plenty of junk on our scouting trips, but never anything like this.

“They’re oil drums,” Eric says from his inspection a few rows over. “The PIT was probably one of the last places to convert over to full solar and electromagnetic energy sources. When the Territories stopped using oil they probably couldn’t get a regular supply line here anymore and had to have it shipped in barrels like the stone-age until they converted over.”

“Cardinal on a cracker.” It’s a phrase I’ve heard Daniel use and it sounds fitting. The PIT really is the place where all things come to die. “These barrels are probably fifty years old.”

“Or older.” It’s darker back down on the ground, but the moon shines enough light for me to see Eric hold out his hand to me. “We need to get back and let the others know what you found.”

I take his hand, because I know he wants me to. Maybe someday I’ll hold his hand because I want to. For now, I let his warm touch guide me back home while I try not to pretend it’s Daniel leading me home.

Fourteen

“Ow!” The sharp jab of another pin pokes into my waist for the fourth time.

“I’m sorry.” Molly pulls the fabric tighter and weaves the pin in. “This would be easier if you would hold still.”

Molly has been altering my dress for the past half-hour and I’m not sure she’s making any progress. She found my ‘outside’ dress weeks ago, but when I tried it on for a fitting this afternoon it was at least three sizes too big.

My mother would be so pleased that I finally lost all that baby fat she always complained about. Stingy meals spiced up by the occasional bag of chip crumbs aren’t enough to maintain a healthy weight.

Daniel is the only other one in the room today. Eric is out at the workshop, and Elizabeth is at work. Normally, Molly would be with her, but she quit yesterday so she could get our new outfits finished. Now that the raft is in construction mode, everyone is feeling the excitement and pressure of getting ready to leave.

Daniel looks up from working on the Noteboard just as I bite my lip against another pin prick. He shoots me a wink and my knees buckle. Molly drops her needle for at least the tenth time.

“I think that’s enough for today.” Molly straightens up and hands me my PIT dress from the bed next to her. “You’re fidgety, and I’m tired. We’ll work on it again tomorrow.”

Daniel turns around so I can change. His presence in the room while I’m undressing kicks my heart rate up another notch. I give myself a mental face slap. I have to stop thinking about him that way. He’s Elizabeth’s boyfriend and future husband. And even if he wasn’t, I’m as good as engaged to Eric.

Molly helps me with my last button and sits down to work on the tiny stitches she pinned into my escape dress. What am I supposed to do with myself now? We still have a few hours left until dinner and I hate the idea of sitting around doing nothing. This is usually the time when Eric and I talk.

Learning more about each other is an essential part of our cover outside the PIT. Even couples who marry early spend a few years getting to know each other. Eric and I have only a fraction of that time. I like hearing his stories of growing up in the NorthWest Territory, but he’s been too busy to share them lately. Every extra minute is spent working on the raft. I offered to help, but I’d just be in the way. It’s not like I know anything about boats.

“Daniel, have you seen the burlap sack?” Molly is on her hands and knees, peeking under every bed in the bunkhouse. “I thought I saw you with it the other day.”

Daniel rubs the back of his neck and stares at the ceiling as if he’s trying to remember. “The last I saw it, it was in the corner over there. Why?”

“It’s not a big deal, really.” Molly stands back up and swipes the dust off her hands. “I was going to store extra bits of fabric in there in case I need to make any last-minute adjustments or repairs. I can find something else to put them in.” Her voice is as steady as always, but she keeps clenching and unclenching her fists.

She takes our appearances very seriously and I understand why. It’s her major contribution to the group. I wish I had something important to do, though Eric claims I’m amazing for finding the oil drums.

Daniel looks just as upset as Molly though I imagine it has less to do with the bag and more to do with whatever he’s been working on all afternoon. He keeps wiping his hands on the thin sheet of his bed like he can’t get them dry

“What are you working on today?” I take a few tentative steps in his direction. There’s nothing wrong with asking a simple question.

“I’m trying to get into the right database so I can make sure Eric and I have Assignments.” He swipes a finger across the screen and wipes his hands on the bed again. “Do you want to see?”

“I probably won’t understand any of it.” I’m trying to keep my distance, but Daniel has the most fascinating job of any of us. The way he can manipulate data from inside the Cardinal’s system is amazing. It makes me feel like we’re fighting back already.

Daniel pauses his fingers on the Noteboard and rolls his eyes at me. Clearly he isn’t buying my ‘I’m too dumb to get it’ act. He pats the spot on the bed next to him.

I have to sit down. It would be rude not to. Maybe Daniel will be too absorbed in his work to notice the effect he has on me. I wipe my clammy hands on the back of my dress and join him on the bed.

Daniel scoots over so he can rest the left side of the Noteboard on my leg. He’s only trying to give me a better view of the screen, but the heat radiating off him warms the entire right side of my body. I resist the urge to snuggle into his shoulder.

“This is a map of the Territories.” A quick tap of his fingers brings up a larger shot of the eastern coast. “And here is where we are.” He points to a section of coastline east of the SouthEast Territory. According to the last geography class I took years ago, this area is supposed to be uninhabitable.

“How do you know where we are?” The location of the PIT is such a secret back home. I assumed it would be hard to discover, even with Daniel’s talent for hacking into places he shouldn’t be.

Daniel puts his hand over his heart and exaggerates a painful expression on his face that doesn’t detract at all from his handsome dark features. “You wound me, Rebecca. The Cardinal’s security measures are no match for my superior skills.”

“A thousand pardons,” I say in a cultured voice my mother would be proud of if I weren’t shamelessly flirting with a nearly married man.

“Now that you recognize the master in your presence, I will share my secrets with you.” Daniel winks at me and returns his attention to the screen. Thank the stars he isn’t looking at me. If the heat on my neck is any indication, my skin is probably glowing red. “Following the current, I estimate it will take us about three days to reach the coast to the east of the Gulf Territory.”

I let out a slow breath to keep my voice steady. “So is that where we’re going to live?”

“We could, but I think we’d be better off putting a bit more distance between us and the PIT. Not that they’ll publicize an escape, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.” He taps away the map of the coastline and another area of the map is highlighted. “We can take a train from the Gulf Territory to the MidSouth Territory and make our home there. I’ll have our transfer paperwork set up by then, including Airbus tickets and meal vouchers. Once we’re on the train, we should be home free.”

“That sounds complicated. Wouldn’t it be easier to go to another country? We wouldn’t have to worry about anyone recognizing us.”

Daniel stares at me like I suggested we move to Cardinal City. “No one leaves the country. Trust me when I say reprogramming our entire identities is much easier than getting documentation to travel abroad. This is basic data manipulation.” He bumps his shoulder into mine. “I’ll keep us safe.”

My shoulder burns where he touched me and tingles run in waves down my arm. His confidence makes it all sound so easy. I know it won’t be, but I’m getting excited about the adventure. Traveling to Cardinal City for the Acceptance ceremony was my first time away from home. “Have you ever been to MidSouth before?”

Daniel nods. “I went there with my dad once. It’s nice.”

“I know it’s silly, but I’m going to miss not living in the MidWest.”

“What do you think you’ll miss the most?” We don’t talk about home very much. A few weeks ago we all told Daniel where we’re from so he could mark it off the list of possible places to settle. Other than that, it’s been almost a taboo topic.

I think back to home. My parents, my grandmother, Cheryl and our friends from school. They were all so important to me, but I feel like a different person now. “The smell of oranges. That’s what I’m going to miss.”

“I didn’t think they grew oranges there.” Daniel’s brows are knit with genuine confusion. The bubble of laughter floating up my throat is soothing.

“We don’t, so they’re a special treat.” I close my eyes, and I’m back at home, standing on the platform waiting on the Airbus to arrive. In the distance is the low hum of the bus, but long before I can see it, the tangy smell of oranges announces the shipment’s arrival. The citrusy aroma takes over the station and I can almost taste the sweet juice on the tip of my tongue.

I open my eyes and Daniel is staring at me, smiling in the way that weaves my stomach into knots. A wave of guilt washes down my spine, and I lower my eyes from Daniel’s. It isn’t his fault that he gets an adorable little wrinkle between his brows when he’s staring at the Noteboard. And he can’t be blamed that his smile produces dimples on both of his cheeks. Anyone in the PIT can see that Daniel is handsome, but Elizabeth would kill me if she knew I thought about it. And besides, Eric is handsome, too. In a different way. His good looks feel more deliberate.

I scoot a bit farther away and Daniel clears his throat. “The Gulf Territory grows the oranges. We’ll be much closer in MidSouth, so we should be able to get oranges whenever they’re in season.”

“Did you learn all of that from the Cardinal’s files?” Daniel’s knowledge seems deeper than the average student. Even in the economics classes, I can’t imagine they would spend so much effort teaching the boys about the Territories they don’t live in.

Daniel’s voice stays even, but his shoulders stiffen at the question. “I grew up in Cardinal City.”

“Oh,” I say as if that explains everything, even though I have no idea why growing up there would matter. I dig the toe of my filthy shoe into the dirt floor.

Daniel taps his fingers against the leg of his pants a few times and clears his throat. “My father is on the Cardinal’s council.”

That’s unexpected. It explains why he knows so much about the different Territories, but opens up at least a dozen other questions. I don’t want to press the issue on what’s obviously a tender subject, but there are so many things Daniel might be able to explain.

“I know you want to ask something else, Rebecca. Go ahead.”

The heat on my neck tells me my face is ten shades of red, but I still ask the question that jumps to the top of my mind. “I know the Cardinal isn’t being honest about why people are sent to the PIT. I guess I assumed there must be a valid reason behind his actions. That I just don’t have the information he does.” I rub a drop of sweat off the back of my neck. “You probably know more about it than most of us can even guess at.”

“You’re right about one thing. I know a lot about the reasons behind the Cardinal’s decisions.” Daniel turns to me on the bunk and grabs my clammy hand. “It didn’t help me understand. It only made it certain I would end up here.”

The door flies open and Elizabeth bursts into the room. Daniel and I jump apart. The last thing I want is to stir up trouble between him and Elizabeth, but she doesn’t notice our too-close position.

“Elizabeth, what the…?” Molly is up and across the room with a towel and water before I can get a word out. Elizabeth clutches her face, bright-red blood flowing between her fingers.

Molly forces her to sit on a bed and pries her fingers away from the mess. Elizabeth’s lips are both split and blood gushes from her nose. Purple bruises shade the skin under her eyes.

“Cardinal on a cracker.” Daniel jumps up from the bed, but keeps his distance to give Molly room to work. “What happened?”

“I was trying to—”

Molly cuts her off and then shoots Daniel a watery glare that could peel paint. “Can we hold off on the talking until I stop you from bleeding to death?”

Elizabeth rolls her eyes, but stays quiet so Molly can get her cleaned up.

“Your nose is broken,” she says, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands, “but you’ll live.” Molly throws the rag into the small bowl of water and stands up, stretching her back.

Elizabeth gives her nose a gentle prod. “Thanks, Molly. What would I do without you?”

“Probably bleed to death,” she says and opens the door to toss the bloody water out. Molly pauses in the open doorway and sucks in a long, quivering breath.

Elizabeth joins her at the door and pulls her around into a hug. “Hey, I’m fine. I’m sure it looks a lot worse than it is. If anything, this is all the more reason to hurry up and get out of here.”

“I know. Just the way you looked. Coming in here.” Molly stifles another sob. “Like someone beat you…”

They stand together for a minute and my heart breaks a bit. Molly and Elizabeth are as close as sisters. The way Cheryl and I are…were…should be still.

Molly steps back and slaps her half-heartedly on the shoulder. “Do you have any idea what that was like? To see you walk in here dripping in blood? What happened?”

Elizabeth walks back to her bunk and runs both her now-clean hands through her dirty hair. “A guard caught me sneaking food after the shift. I was trying to bulk up our supplies, but I wasn’t as careful as I should have been.”

Daniel sits next to her, an arm around her shoulder. “Did he…?”

“He knocked me to the ground with one punch, then came back in with a few kicks to the face. At least I didn’t lose any teeth.” Elizabeth flashes her still-intact mouth at us all, but freezes with a glance at the bunk next to me.

Molly is sitting back against the wall, her legs pulled up with her knees tucked under her chin. Tear-filled eyes stare out at the room, but she’s managed to keep them from falling.