Rita Lakin_Gladdy Gold_01 (27 page)

51

All's Well . . .

W
hat a celebration we had last
night! All six phases attended. The Manischevitz Malaga kept flowing,
the klezmer band kept playing, the deli platters never ran out. I even
sneaked in a dance with Jack and the girls never saw us. Which made me
face the fact that I haven't gotten around to telling them about him.
And wait until Evvie hears. . . . Well, they're going to find out
today, heaven help me.

It's ten
A.M.
and no sign of
the troops yet. Probably hungover like everyone else and slept late.
Oops, I spoke too soon. Four bleary-eyed faces peer in at me through
the open louvers.

"Coffee," a desperate Evvie begs.

"Bagels, or I'll perish," adds Sophie.

"With a schmear," continues Bella.

Ida, as usual, has to be different. "I could go for some
scrambled with a little lox. And maybe a slice of Bermuda onion."

"Come on in, the kitchen is open. The cook is up."

In they march. "I'm so tired I could sleep for a month,"
Sophie announces cheerfully.

"But wasn't it wonderful?" Bella says, sighing. "A day
and a night to remember."

Ida says, "My favorite moment was when Denny floored
Harriet."

"Mine was seeing you on the grass with the ducks." Sophie
chuckles at the memory.

Ida scowls. "You would. My best pool lounging outfit is
ruined!"

"Did you see that Enya came to the party?" I comment.
"She was actually talking to people."

"And even smiling," comments Sophie.

"So out of killing came a mitzvah. Enya joined the living
again." Evvie's eyes tear up.

"And Denny," I say, and this time it's my eyes tearing.
"Just sitting there shyly as everyone came up and said how glad they
were that he came out all right."

"Wasn't it nice of the Haddassah women in Phase Four to
clean up Denny's apartment for him?" Bella says happily.

Ida comments, "I hope they got rid of that battle-ax's
portrait. Right smack into the Dumpster!"

"You know what Tessie told me?" Sophie says. "She's
thinking of moving. After knowing what really happened to Selma, she
says she can't bear living here next door to her apartment anymore."

"And speaking of moving," Evvie says proudly, "I cornered
the Sleaze and told him we're on to him. Don't be surprised if there's
a 'for sale' sign on
his
place soon."

"Yeah, that was some party," Sophie says contentedly.
"Even the Canadians had fun after a few belts of the Manischevitz."

"But," says Ida, "what I really want to know is who gets
Esther's four hundred thousand dollars?"

"Good question." Evvie turns to me. "Glad, maybe you can
ask Langford."

"Poor Morrie," I say, laughing. "We totally demoralized
him."

"Do we get a reward for catching Harriet?" Bella asks
eagerly. "Maybe they'll give
us
the money."

Ida sniffs. "In your dreams."

Bella keeps shaking her head. "I just can't get over it.
How could it be?"

"How could what be?" asks Ida.

"Harriet, a killer." Bella reaches for an onion bagel for
comfort. "And she was such a nice Jewish girl."

As they pile around the kitchen table, digging into the
basket of bagels, they plan the day. Ida must go to the bank, Bella to
the cleaners. Sophie looks at me, with my head full of curlers.
"Looking at you reminds me. I could use a trip to the beauty parlor.
I'm thinking, maybe, of dyeing again. I'm fed up with Champagne Pink.
What do you think about Strawberry Blonde?"

"Now that you mention it," says Evvie, eyeing me
suspiciously, "what's with the curlers?"

"I'm setting my hair. What does it look like?" It's
starting, I think to myself. I am reminded of Bette Davis's famous line
in
All About Eve
: "Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a
bumpy night."

"Since when?"

"Since today."

Now everybody stops to study me. Ida picks up my hand as
if I had leprosy. "Is that nail polish?"

"Curlers? Nail polish? What's going on?" Evvie wants to
know.

"I'm giving myself a makeover."

"Since when are you a fashionable plate?" Sophie asks.

"Hey," I throw at them, "you're all big-shot detectives
now, so detect."

With time only to grab a macaroon or two for dessert,
they have at it.

"You're maybe going somewhere tonight?" Sophie ventures.

"Yes. Out," I answer.

"To the library?" Bella adds.

"Who wears pink polish to a library?" Ida argues.

Sophie is now sniffing about the apartment for clues.
Evvie is standing with her arms folded. I can tell she doesn't like
this one bit. It feels like it won't be good news for her. And she's
right.

Sophie shrieks from the bathroom. "There's a bottle of
Chanel Number Five on the sink!"

Evvie glares at me. "You haven't worn perfume since your
daughter's wedding eighteen years ago!"

By now Ida and Bella have dashed into the bedroom in time
to hear Sophie say, "And take a gander at this!"

Ida calls out. "It's her best silk shantung."

Evvie's voice is ominous now. "Ditto worn at the same
wedding."

"Not really," I correct her. "That was blue. This one's
green. It's only seven years old."

"And her good fake pearls," Bella now calls. "With the
matching teardrop earrings."

The girls all converge back in the dining area. Now
everyone is staring at me.

"I detect," says Ida officiously, "since you're getting
so gussied up, you are going someplace nice."

"I also detect," says Bella, "since you didn't tell us
about it, you're going by yourself."

"Where would you go alone?" Evvie demands to know. "You
take me everywhere."

I take a deep breath and plunge in. "Who said I was going
alone?"

Silence. Finally, "So . . . who are you taking?" Ida
demands.

"Actually, I'm going on a date."

Shock. Surprise. Consternation.

"Waddaya talking?" Sophie says, irritated. "You haven't
had a date in a hundred years!"

I smile. "Not quite. It only seems like it."

"A date?" Evvie asks, genuinely startled.

"Really? A date?" Bella asks, grinning.

"Don't I speak English? A. Date. With. A. Man!"

"Impossible," Evvie says. "What man?!"

"A man I met a short while ago." I'm really not trying to
torture them. I'm just afraid to tell them.

"Oy," Sophie says. "Say it already. This is like having a
mammogram from a nurse with icy fingers."

Evvie is flabbergasted. "How can you meet anybody? You're
never out of my sight for a minute."

I grin impishly. "Well, obviously I was out of your sight
for more than a minute. I met him the day Greta soaped my car and
flattened my tire. When I went to that bookstore party near the garage."

"That was weeks ago. How come you didn't tell me?" Evvie
is now indignant.

"I was going to, but then Greta got killed and it went
right out of my mind."

"Oh. So it's a first date," says interrogator Evvie.

"Actually, a second."

Evvie is speechless. Ida picks up the grilling. "That
slipped your mind, too?"

"Actually, I was mad at you guys then. You just had Greta
cremated."

"That's no excuse!" Evvie says sharply.

"Excuses, excuses," singsongs Sophie.

"Yeah, you just didn't want to tell us," Ida says. "Why?
Is he ugly?"

"Actually, he's very handsome and actually, he lives in
Lanai Gardens and actually, you all know him."

"Enough with the actuallys already," says Ida. "So
actually, what's his name already?"

I take a deep breath. "Jack Langford."

Click. Click. Click. Click. Four minds are
data-processing.

"Phase Six," says Ida.

"His wife, Faye, passed a few years ago," remembers
Sophie.

Evvie is stunned. "Langford? You said Langford?"

Bella claps her hands gleefully. "Morrie's father!"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Evvie says, unable
to let it go.

"I guessed," Bella says proudly. "I saw them dancing last
night. Making goo-goo eyes at each other." She giggles.

They turn to her, amazed.

"And you didn't say a word?" says Evvie, wanting to choke
her.

Bella shrugs. "I forgot."

Ida glares at her.

"So, kill me," Bella says in a huff.

Sophie moves in closer to me, conspiratorially. "So, are
you having an affair?"

"Sex?!" Ida spits out the loathsome word. "That's
disgusting! You're too old!"

I can't take anymore. This is torture. "Well, girls, I'm
removing the curlers. Five minutes and we go on our errands." With that
I start to leave them in the dining room to stew.

As I pass them, I try to ignore their expressions. Bella
grinning. Ida horrified. Sophie intrigued. And my beloved sister, just
plain flummoxed.

Whew. I'm glad that's over.

This evening, as we drive away from the building in
Jack's Cadillac, I look back to see the girls leaning over the
third-floor balcony watching us. Boy, do I feel guilty.

"Don't look back," Jack says, smiling. "You'll turn into
a pillar of salt."

"I knew we should have met at the Greek restaurant."

"No more Greek odysseys. We're out in the open now. Let
the chips fall where they may. You only live once."

I poke him in the shoulder. "Any more cliches you
want to throw at me?"

"Just testing to make sure you're paying attention."

"So now what do we do?" I move closer. His aftershave
smells so good. He actually dressed in a suit and tie for me. Oh, my,
it's been such a long time. He puts his arm around my shoulder.

"We negotiate."

"I'm not giving up my apartment."

"Who asked you to?"

"Maybe we'll only get together on weekends."

"If that's what you really want."

"Don't ask me to give up my new profession. The phone is
ringing off the hook with people needing private eyes."

"I have no problem with you supporting me."

"I'm not cooking."

"Fine. I'll cook."

"Ha-ha. You're English. No, thanks."

"I am a good cook. Ask Morrie."

"Right. And for breakfast you'll serve bangers and bacon
and fried eggs and fried tomatoes and blood sausage. With enough
cholesterol to kill a horse."

"Who needs breakfast? We're gonna live on love."

We are both laughing by now. He pulls over, turns off the
ignition, takes me in his arms, and kisses me.

And inside my head I hear aha, aha, aha.

THE END