Risk (Gentry Boys #2) (18 page)

Truly

Saylor gave me directions.  We were headed southeast, miles outside of the valley.  For most of the drive we passed endless brown stucco housing subdivisions that appeared to be little more than clones of one another.  Finally the stucco civilizations began to thin out.  I’d never been to this part of the state before.  It was flat and dusty.  It must have been what the Phoenix area looked like before people went wild with building stuff all over it.  We left the gloomy San Tan Mountains behind and kept going. 

“Only five more miles,” Saylor promised. 

“What are we here for?”

She twisted her hands in her lap.  “I need to find someone who might be able to help.  I tried to get Cord to call him but he wouldn’t.” 

I had to ask her.  “Say?  How bad is this shit Creed’s wrapped up in?” 

I could hear the pain in her voice.  It matched the ache inside of me.  “It’s bad, Truly.  The last guy who hit the ground in one of these fights?  He didn’t get up again.  He died later the same night.  I pieced that much together from hearing the guys whispering and also listening to Creed on the phone.  Cord doesn’t know that I know.”  She let out a low moan and rested her head against the passenger window.  “God, I love him.  I love him so much.  This is killing him.” 

Now that I knew more it was killing me too.  I just couldn’t be as honest about it as Saylor was. 

She touched my hand anyway, a gesture of comfort.  Then she turned her head to look at the passing scenery.  She wrinkled her nose. 

“I hate coming back here.” 

“Your folks still local?” 

She laughed hoarsely.  “Yeah.  Think we’ll skip the reunion this time.  My mom will never get used to the idea of her daughter mixed up with the Gentrys.  I think in that case she’d rather not have a daughter.  She especially hates Cord.” 

I tried to pick my words carefully.  “Because of what happened when you guys were kids?”

She shrugged.  “It’s all right.  You can say it out loud.  Cord screwed me as a dirty bet he made with his brothers.  He did it knowing it was my first time. Believe me when I tell you, when that story got around town there was no place I could hide.”  Her pretty face had a far away look as she relived old agonies. “I know there are plenty of people who couldn’t understand why I forgave him at all after that, let alone fell in love with him years later.”

I bit my lip.  “I know.  I think I was one of them.” 

She smiled.  “I think you were too.”  The she grimaced.  “In a little while you’ll get a good look at where those boys came from.  It really is shit.  More than that, it’s terrifying.  They were abused, neglected, and everyone in town thought they were garbage.  And yet they’re decent men, all three of them.”  She laughed to herself.  “Even Creed, no matter how he tries to hide it.  But they’ve had to do a lot of climbing to get there.” 

Saylor touched my arm.  Her expression was earnest.  She wanted me to understand the Gentry boys the way she understood them.  “I don’t have the right to pardon them for everything.  And it doesn’t mean they’re without flaws.  But god dammit, who is?”

“Not me, Say.  Definitely not me.” 

She nodded.  “I knew you’d get it.” 

I really did get it.  That didn’t mean I believed every offense should be forgiven.  Some things were inexcusable.  But if you scoff at the very idea of forgiveness, then who the hell will be willing to let you go free if the time comes?  Would you even be able to forgive yourself?

Saylor pointed.  “Turn here.” 

We’d already passed the ugly outline of the prison.  The town itself appeared pleasant enough but we were driving away from the center of it, deep into the desert.  Here and there I glimpsed homes set far back from the road.  Some were well kept houses.  Others were dilapidated trailers.  The road was narrow this far out and there were no street lights. 

“Must be dark as the belly of hell at night,” I commented.

She nodded.  “It is.” 

Saylor was getting edgy.  She sat up straight in her seat and scanned the passing scenery.  “See that ramshackle monstrosity in the distance?  Don’t get too close to it.”

The trailer she was pointing to looked as if it had been abandoned for a decade.  “That thing?  Someone lives there?”

Saylor spoke through clenched teeth.  “Yes.  Someone lives there.” 

I stared at the sorry dwelling.  I’d actually lived in places nearly as rundown and known folks who lived even worse.  But there was a rotten quality to the sprawling mess in front of me that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  It was more than poverty.  It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 

I came to a rolling stop.  “Saylor?  Is that where the boys grew up?”

“Yeah.”  She looked around nervously.  “Look, I’m not shitting you.  This is not a place we want to be hanging out.”

She was frightened of something.  Or someone.

“Sometimes fathers turn out to be evil sons of bitches.”

Creed had told me that.  The reason why he’d said it had something to do with whatever lived out here. 

“That’s the place we’re looking for,” Saylor said, pointing to a small trailer a few hundred yards in the distance.  There was a canvas awning stretched over the right edge, likely designed to offer a bit of outdoor shade to the unlucky resident.  A gleaming black motorcycle sat out front.  I eased the car in that direction over the unpaved desert floor.  When I came to a stop a few feet away from the door Saylor glanced around again quickly.  She offered me an anxious smile before opening the door. 

“Come on,” she said, motioning for me to follow.

Though she knocked lightly on the thin trailer door, the sound reverberated, echoing in the empty stillness. Wild creosote and twisted cacti dotted the landscape far and wide.  The heat seemed more prickly out here.  It felt as if there couldn’t possibly be a cool spot within twenty miles. 

Saylor sighed and knocked on the door more insistently. 

“Quit it,” rumbled a low voice.

We hadn’t seen the man, though he must have been sitting in the shadows under the canvas awning.  He came around to the front and stood there, crossing his arms.  He was solidly muscled and his brown skin was heavily tattooed.  His black hair came down around his ears and if I had to guess his age I would have placed him in his late twenties.  When he smiled at us I could swear I’d seen him before. 

“Declan?” Saylor ventured with some uncertainty. 

Now I knew.  This was Declan Gentry.  I’d heard his name before.  He was a cousin to Creed, Chase, and Cord.  I didn’t know why we had driven all the way out here to talk to him. 

“Saylor,” he answered in a mild voice. 

She grinned uneasily.  “You remember me.” 

He snorted and leaned against the surface of the trailer, though it must have been blistering hot.  “Shit girl, I’m not feeble minded.”  He pushed his hair out of his eyes.  “How’s Cordero?”

“He’s fine.”

“Yeah?  Well, I’ll assume you weren’t just touring the neighborhood so how about you tell me who isn’t fine?”

Saylor grimaced.  “Everyone else.  But it’s Creedence I’m most worried about.”

Declan was paying close attention.  “Why?”

“He got in the middle of something bad.”

“Something bad,” Declan repeated.  “Well that could be anything from a knocked up cheerleader to homicide.  So stop making me guess.” 

“He’s committed to a fight.  It’s one he might not be able to walk away from if he loses.” 

Declan’s eyes narrowed.  “With who?”

“I don’t know exactly.  But he already killed one man.  I heard Cord say the name Jester.” 

“Jester,” Declan muttered.  I could tell from the sudden tension in his posture that the name meant something to him.  “When?”

“A few days I think.  Deck, Cord has always said that you know everyone and they’re universally scared shitless by the mere mention of your name.  Is there anything you can do?”

“You’re asking for my help?”

“Yes.” 

Declan smiled and his eyes suddenly shifted in my direction. His gaze worked me over real well.  “And I see you brought a treat along to bribe me with.” 

Saylor put her hands on her hips.  “Don’t be a pervert.  This is my friend, Truly.” 

“Hello Truly.”

“Hello Declan.” 

He had a fluid way of moving.  It was nearly hypnotic.  Declan Gentry stood mere inches from me and ran a finger lightly over my arm. 

“You got a man, Truly?  Or are you looking for one?”

I met his gaze without flinching.  “I’m with Creedence.”

“Ah.”  Declan dropped his hand and then shot me a regretful grin.  “That’s too bad.  My cousins seem to have a knack for finding the best women before I can.” 

“So will you help?” Saylor asked.  I heard the desperation in her voice. 

Declan dropped his tough guy act.  He seemed sad.  “I don’t know if there’s much I can do, honey.  I know the kind of fights you’re talking about and there’s no calling in sick.” 

“The last guy who hit the ground in one of these fights?  He didn’t get up again.  He died later the same night.” 

It was too horrible to contemplate. 

“Please,” I whispered. 

Saylor glanced at me and her face crumbled when she saw that I was crying.  The tears had simply arrived without warning.  I was afraid they might never stop. 

Declan stared.  “Don’t you go showin’ him that shit,” he said a little sharply.  “It’ll fuck with his head.”  He looked out in the direction of the ghastly trailer we’d passed before finding our way here. 

“I’ll get my ass up there today,” he said quietly.  He gave me a hard look and I saw the same stoic resolve I’d seen so often in Creed.  “Those boys are my blood and I’ll do what I can for them.” 

“Thank you,” Saylor breathed. 

Declan nodded to us soberly.  “Now go on.  Get out of here.  You stick around too long and you might wake the beast.” 

That was all Saylor needed to hear.  She pulled me back to the car and we left Declan Gentry standing there in the hot sun. 

When we’d reached the relative safety of downtown Emblem I asked Saylor a question.  “Just how scary is the beast?”

“Benton Gentry?  He’s the scariest goddamn thing I ever saw.”  She shuddered. 

As we headed back to the valley I looked in the rearview mirror at the place Creed had come from.  I wanted so badly to be in his arms. 

“I’d like to see a lot of things, places where there’s not just brown dust and heat.  And I’m takin’ you with me, baby.” 

A hideously sick feeling washed over me.  It was heartbreaking loss, or rather the threat of it.

This is what happened when you risked holding someone in your arms all night long.

It’s what happened when you began to feel as if your day meant nothing unless the man who’d carved his name into your heart was with you. 

Such things could go terribly wrong.  You might find yourself gouged out, bereft.  You’d wonder if breathing would ever come easily again. 

I pulled the car to the shoulder of the road, my hands locked onto the steering wheel for dear life.  Saylor watched me silently. 

“It hurts,” I choked out.  I was crying again.  I wasn’t just crying for Creed, but she didn’t know that.  “It hurts so much.” 

She hugged me.  “I know.  I know it does.” 

We sobbed together for a little while before we drove home. 

CREED

“She didn’t tell you where she was going?” Cord asked with a frown. 

“No,” I answered, taking a sip of coffee.  “Why don’t you try her phone again?”

Cord pounded out a text message, then stared at the screen for a minute.  “Was she upset about something?”

Yes.

But I did the gutless thing.  I shrugged, which in this case was the same as lying to my brother. 

I didn’t have time to think about that though because Chase lumbered into the kitchen.  He looked awful. 

“You sick?” I asked him sarcastically as he fumbled around in the kitchen cabinet. 

“Yeah,” he coughed.  “I’m sick.” 

I set my coffee down.  Cord shot me a warning look.  The look said,
Don’t do this right now.  It’ll just go badly and won’t solve a thing.
 

I answered his look with one of my own. 

I have to. 

“Come here, little brother.”  I pulled a chair out. 

Chase eyed me cautiously but sat down.  As soon as he was there I lost whatever words were in my head.  I just looked at them, both of them.  I’d been looking at Chase and Cord my whole life and it didn’t seem nearly long enough.  In twenty two years I’d never spent a day without them.  That meant something else too.  It meant they’d never spent a day without me.

We all turned at the sound of the door opening.  Saylor walked in, followed by Truly.  They both appeared grim and pale.  My stomach did a little backflip. 

Cord went right to Say, hugging her.  “Where’d you go, babe?”

She tried to smile.  “We just had a girl’s outing.  I’m fine.”  She glanced at Truly.  “We’re fine, right?”

Truly didn’t answer.  She was staring at me.  Something about the way she stared at me unleashed a trumpet of alarm. 

I took her hand and led her back to my room, leaving the rest of them behind.  I heard Cord questioning Saylor and her tired responses.  Chase was quiet. 

It was the first time Truly and I had ever gone to a bedroom without our hands all over each other.  She crossed her arms and leaned against the closed door.  I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to say something.  

“I thought,” she said, blinking away tears, “that it was like a game.  That you were just going to go throw a few punches, maybe suffer some bruises, and that would be it.”  Her voice broke.  “But that might not be it. Right, Creed?”

This was even worse than making Saylor cry.  “I can’t get out of it, honey.  I’m sorry.” 

Truly nodded miserably.  “I know.”  She inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly.  “So when is it?”

There was no point in lying.  I couldn’t lie to her anyway.  “Day after tomorrow.” 

“Can I go?”

“No!”  I hadn’t meant to shout.  But the idea of Truly standing there on the sidelines in the midst of all that violence was awful. 

She didn’t seem surprised though.  “Day after tomorrow,” she repeated softly.  “And what happens after that, Creedence?”

I had to lay it out on the table.  I owed her that much.  “Either I’ll be around or I won’t be.” 

A soft cry escaped her lips.  She immediately put her hand over her mouth as if to pull the sound back inside. 

I couldn’t fucking stand it.  I stood up.  “Baby.” 

She collided with me, burying her face in my shoulder.  I stroked her hair and wished I could make her promises.  It would be selfish to give them to her now though.  It would only hurt her more if I wasn’t around to keep them.

Truly lifted her head and placed her hands on either side of my face.  “Damn you, Creedence Gentry.”  She kissed my lips and then left the room.  I heard Saylor calling her name as she walked out the front door but she didn’t answer. 

There were murmured voices in the next room but I didn’t join them.  I sat down in the middle of the floor.  Life, it seemed, had come to a standstill.   This shit I’d gotten mixed up in was consuming us all.  Everyone I gave a damn about was in pain. 

When a shadow darkened my doorway I looked up.  Chase was standing there with my coffee cup.  He held it out to me.  “Warmed it up in the microwave.” 

“Thanks” I said, accepting the cup. 

Chase nodded and trudged off to his own room.  They all went about their business as best they could.  Cord left for work.  Chase went to school.  Saylor was still around but she stayed away from me.  I didn’t blame her. 

The knock at the front door brought me to my feet in an instant.  I hoped it was Truly, even though I knew it was better if it wasn’t. 

Instead, when I opened the door I saw someone unexpected.  

“Deck,” I said, more than a little surprised.   He was living down in Emblem and the last time he’d made it up to Tempe was a year ago.  Since we weren’t in the habit of making casual visits to our hometown we hadn’t seen him since, although he did call every so often. 

My cousin grinned at me.  Five years older than us, Declan Gentry was a wild scoundrel and we’d grown up doing our best to be just like him.  He was always in and out of trouble, always in and out of the beds of half the women in Emblem from the time he knew what to do with his dick. His daddy, our Uncle Chrome, was the original model.  Even though Chrome was Benton’s brother and had all the same hard edges, he had none of his cruelty, at least not towards us.  Chrome was the only one who had ever bothered to take the time to teach us what it meant to be men. 

“Can I come in or what?” Declan asked.  He had the dark, sensual looks of his mother but his cocky grin was all Gentry. 

I held the door and let him through it.  Before I shut it again I saw Deck’s bike in the parking lot.  I wondered what kind of a whim brought him up here but that was Deck; you wouldn’t hear from him for months and then he would just show up one day. 

“Glad to see you, man,” I said and meant it, slapping him on the back. 

He stopped in the middle of the living room and looked around.  “Glad to see you too.”  He pushed his hair out of his eyes and crossed his arms.  “What’s new, Creedence?”

Saylor poked her head into the room.  Declan nodded to her.  She seemed oddly unsurprised to see him. 

“Thought I heard you,” she said. 

“You thought right.”  He glanced at me and cleared his throat.  “Anyone feel like offering a guy a glass of water?”

Saylor went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.  She handed it to him as she avoided looking at me. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” she muttered and then went back to her room. 

Declan quickly drank the entire bottle of water.   When he finished he flattened it between his hands.  “You gonna talk, cuz?”

He knew something was up.  His sudden appearance was too much of a coincidence. 

“What have you heard, Deck?”

My cousin sighed.  “That you’re in over your head.” 

I laughed but there was no humor in it.  “Nah, not over my head.  I might be losing my head actually.  That’s all.” 

Declan sat on the couch.  “Why didn’t you call me?”

I sat next to him.  “Who
did
call you?”

He didn’t answer the question.  “You know much about this guy?”

“I’ve seen him fight.  Name’s Jester.”

“I know.” 

“Yeah?  What else do you know?”

“That he did time up in the Kingman facility, that he runs with a pack of rabid dogs who seem to believe they are remnants of the Third Reich.”  Declan paused.  He removed a cigarette from his pocket but didn’t light it.  “And that he’s killed more than a handful of men for fun and profit.” 

I didn’t doubt Declan’s words at all.  Even if I hadn’t seen Jester crush Emilio’s skull I knew my cousin had the answers to just about every question. 

Deck flicked his lighter but still didn’t light the cigarette.  He exhaled raggedly.  “Wish I could get you out of this.” 

I didn’t doubt that either.  Declan may seem hard as nails but he had a soft spot for the three of us.  Always had.  Just like his dad. 

“You sticking around for a while?” I asked him. 

He nodded.  “At least for a few days.  I’ll see you through this, Creed.”  He looked around again.  “Think I’ll find a nicer place to sleep though.  There are a few options I can choose from.”  He grinned.  “I just need to pick one.” 

I stood up when he did.  Deck slapped me on the shoulder.  “I’m gonna go track down some rumors.  I’ll be back later.  In the meantime, try to keep your head together.  No juice and no women.”  He gave me a mischievous look and I wondered if there was any way in hell he could know about Truly.  “They have a way of interfering with a man’s focus.”

Declan walked out of the apartment.  A moment later I heard the engine of his bike gunning to life.  I sat down again. 

“He left?” Saylor asked.  I hadn’t heard her come out of her room.

“Yeah, for now.  He’ll be back.” 

She nodded and went to the kitchen.  She looked in the cabinets and then scowled when she didn’t find much there.  I followed her. 

“
You
went to him.” 

Saylor leaned against the sink and nervously played with her hair.  “Yes.  I talked to Declan.”  She shrugged.  “I thought if anyone could help then he could.” 

“So that’s where you girls went this morning?  To Emblem?”

She dropped her hair and looked me in the eye.  “Yes. I went to Emblem and I took Truly with me.  This shit doesn’t just affect you.” 

“I know that, Saylor.”

“She’s hurting.”

“I know that too.” 

She closed her eyes and a lone tear trickled down her cheek.  “I’m sorry, Creed.  I’m sorry if I interfered.  I just couldn’t stand sitting around and watching you march to your own doom.”  She winced.  “Sorry again.  That was melodramatic.”

I was surprised.  Saylor seemed honestly grieved by the idea of me getting hurt. 

“You pal around with Chase,” I said quietly. 

She raised her eyes.  They were curious.  “Yeah?  So?”

“So we’ve had kind of a tough time, you and me.  It seemed better if I just stayed out of your way.  I figured I was just something you put up with, for Cord’s sake.” 

She was shaking her head even before I finished talking. 

“No,” she said immediately.  “No, Creedence.  You’re
not
just something just I put up with. You’re my family too.” 

“Well, damn,” I said softly because I didn’t know how to answer the months of misunderstandings between us. 

“You could win, right?” she said hopefully.  “I mean look at you.  You’re like a brick wall.  And even if you don’t win it doesn’t mean…”  She couldn’t finish her sentence.  She bit her lip and stared at the floor. 

“No,” I soothed her.  “It doesn’t mean I’m not coming home.”

She gave me a watery smile and I grew thoughtful. 

“You know, when I was growing up one of my favorite people on earth was my Uncle Chrome.  I’d love to be that, the favorite uncle.” 

Saylor laughed a little.  “You might have to battle Chase for the honor.” 

“Maybe it’s an honor we can share.” 

“Yeah,” she smiled broadly.  “I think it is.” 

“Hey, Saylor?  Will you help me with something?”

“Of course.” 

“I need to do some shopping.  I figure maybe I could find what I’m looking for on Craigslist.” 

She seemed perplexed but still willing.   “All right.  Let me get my computer.” 

I waited for her in the kitchen.  I wasn’t big on grand gestures but there was just one I needed to tackle.  I needed to do it before the lights could go out.