Rise of the Phoenix (Return To Avalore #2) (34 page)

Argram’s eyes flashed from black to brown in rapid succession, the beast fighting for control. Crouching directly before him, she brought her hands up to his cheeks, holding him so that he looked into her eyes. “Do you trust me, Argram?” She trickled energy into him, slow but steady, and he breathed a sigh of relief. “Look at your brother. He survived the transformation. He is no longer in pain. Let it go. Let your body do what it needs to do.” She gave him more energy. He struggled for a moment longer before relaxing enough to allow the conversion. His body thrashed. His bones and muscles snapped and popped as they reformed. The brutal transformation seemed to take forever, but when it finally stopped and the beast was gone, without needing to ask, someone handed her a blanket. She glanced up to find one of the women of Avalore, her arms filled with more coverings.

Not far from where she still crouched next to Argram, another woman infused one of her packmates with energy, taking matters into her own hands. Behind her, one of the Coalition men stood with a scowl on his face, but he didn’t stop her from working.

Argram looked beyond her to the tree line, unable to lift his head from the ground. “Miga.” The same familiar, gravelly voice whispered up from the new form before her.

“Where is she?” Brienne tried to see what he was looking at. “There?”

He brought his gaze to hers. He was silent for so long, she didn’t think he’d answer, but then with a sigh, he whispered again. “Yes.”

“I’ll get her.” She gave him another little shot of energy before standing. Her head spun. She hadn’t realised how much energy she’d given the two men she saw as brothers, and might have fallen if Drake hadn’t been there. In a flash of energy, he gave her what she needed, allowing her the strength she required to go on.

“Evan—”

“Rhia and Markus are with him. Let’s go.” He wasn’t asking permission to go with her, and for once, she didn’t mind. If he was willing to lend a hand, she’d be a fool not to accept.

It didn’t take long to find Miga and her cub in the forest. Her pained moans led them straight to her. Her energy restored, Brienne helped the woman through the conversion, just as she had the men. Once done, Drake carried Miga, wrapped in a blanket with her long blond hair flowing in the breeze, while Brienne brought the babe, infusing him with minute amounts of energy. By the time they reached the gardens, his conversion, much easier than his parents’ had been, was done. The moment they were within sight, Argram’s growl greeted them.

“Be careful. They’re very proprietorial over their women and children.”
She didn’t think she needed to warn Drake, but she did just in case.

Argram tried to stand, but stumbled back to the ground.

“Stay where you are, we are bringing them to you.” Raising her voice for him to hear, Brienne sent as much reassurance as she could.

When they got close, Drake didn’t hesitate, addressing the man as a warrior. “Lie on the ground and let me put her next to you. The conversion was difficult. Her body isn’t yet regulating her temperature. Keep her close and warm.” His steps didn’t falter, even when Argram’s eyes flashed, and he growled again. He brought the sleeping woman to her mate, laying her on the ground as close to him as possible before pulling back and letting Brienne bring the baby to them.

Scattered throughout the gardens, blankets of all colors covered men she knew would be her pack. She couldn’t recognize any of them other than Wesken and Argram, and it was only because she’d seen their transformation that she knew who they were. So much had changed she could hardly breathe.

Argram surrounded his mate and child, covering all three of them with the blankets they’d been given, his big body shielding them from view, protecting them as well as he could. Wesken had yet to move, but he called out the names of his men and waited as each responded.

Maybe when her emotions weren’t so raw and her pain not quite so deep, she’d be able to live the joy that should have been coursing through her at the success of their mission. But as it was, she was hollow. Where warmth and elation should have been, she found emptiness only Evan would ever fill. She couldn’t help her pack anymore, her role in their history done. Sure, she’d always be a part of the pack even if she didn’t live with them anymore, but it was up to them now. They’d have to find their way in their new world, find their own place.

Rhia sat with Evan’s head resting on her lap, her fingers absently raking through her brother’s hair, offering comfort with her gentle touch. The sadness in her colors threatened to choke Brienne.

“However long it takes, I’ll wait for you. Just come back to me.”
She sent the words out into the universe, hoping Evan would hear and eventually find his way home.

Brienne lay in Evan’s bed, her head resting on his chest, her hand on his belly. His scent enveloped her, making her heart skip a beat as she rose from slumber. She didn’t want to open her eyes. Didn’t want to feel the sun’s warmth shining through the open window, or hear the birds chirping with not a care in the world. His body hadn’t moved, not an inch. His arms lay at his sides, not curled around her, holding her close as they’d done in her dream. The shallowness of his breaths hadn’t deepened, and his heart beat at the same slow, feathery pace.

After the battle, her pack had taken refuge in the city until they’d recovered enough to travel then made their way back to the Dark Lands. Argram and his family as well as Wesken stayed on at the palace while they recovered. Sure, Evan’s family kept vigil along with her. Each of them visited daily. Even Aiken, too severely injured in the battle to come to their aid, came to heal and help her care for Evan, ensuring his body was healthy for him to come home to. But in the end, she was alone.

The vise surrounding her heart squeezed a little. Each day that left Evan unchanged took a little part of her soul with her when the sun went down. A small part of her, the tiniest part, almost wished she didn’t have to face it again with each rising.
“Good morning, my love.”
She pressed her lips to his cool ones as she did each morning, but today something was different. Her eyes opened wider, and she tried to find it, but nothing had changed. The vivid blue of his eyes remained hidden beneath his lids. The tint around his lips was still there. Not a muscle in his body twitched. That’s when she felt it. It was faint, nothing more than a stirring of energy, but it was there in her mind. It was as though someone was trying to drill a tiny hole into her consciousness, creating an access point.

Heart racing, she tried again.
“Evan, I’m here. I’m waiting for you. Please come home.”

Seconds passed, and she held her breath. The stirring energy halted as though listening to her words. The dragon stretched her long neck and unfurled its tail. She’d been silent and mourning since the day of the attacks.

You feel him too, don’t you?

Hope, thin and fragile, bloomed in her chest. Bolting from the bed, she ran to the window, finding nothing but blue skies above. Maybe he was still too far for her to see. Smiling, she rushed to the bathroom to dress.

“Drake, I can feel him again. Bring Rhia.”
Had she not been so overjoyed, she might have reminded him he was wrong when he’d talked to her about accepting that he wasn’t coming back. Was that only a week ago? All she could do was smile and wait. He was coming. Soon he’d be with them again.

“You’re certain? I don’t want to get Rhia’s hopes up.”
Drake’s voice slid into her mind with ease.

“I am.”
She went to Evan’s side, fixing the blankets around him and fluffing his pillow before the others arrived.

When the brisk knock sounded at the door, she didn’t bother going to answer it. They’d let themselves in just as they had since the first days when she refused to leave the bed, let alone the room to answer the sitting room door.

“Brienne?” Rhia called out from the other room.

“In the bedroom.” She sat next to Evan on the bed, taking his hand in hers.

Rhia burst in, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Drake says he’s back.” Her voice shook.

“Not yet.” Brienne smiled and fought back her own tears. “He’s not changed, but I felt him. He’s trying to reach me, I know he is.”

A shadow of doubt crossed Rhia’s eyes, but she said nothing.

Brienne’s smile faltered a little. “He is. You try. Maybe he’ll do the same with you.” She glanced from Rhia to Drake and back again. They thought she was losing her mind. Of course, they’d never say so, but the look they gave her was one of pity, not the joy they should be experiencing at having Evan take a step closer to being home.

Rhia nodded, then after a few moments frowned. “Nothing. I’m sorry.”

Brienne shook her head. She’d prove them wrong.
“Evan, your sister needs you. Reach out to her as you have me, and let her feel your presence.”
Her heart stuttered. Nothing but emptiness greeted her call. A small sob escaped her lips and their pitying forms blurred as tears moistened her eyes.

“He was there.” The broken words barely whispered past the massive lump in her throat.

Rhia put her arms around her, offering comfort she didn’t want.

“No. You have to believe me. I felt him.” She pointed to her temple. “In here, he was there. I’d know him anywhere.” Even to her own ears, she sounded frantic. Had she made it up? Had her desperate need of him made it so that she was sensing things that weren’t there? For the first time doubt filtered into her spirit.

“I want him home too.” Rhia spoke softly. “We all do, but wanting it, even as much as we do, doesn’t make it so.”

Brienne hung her head so low her chin touched her chest. She couldn’t catch her breath. The dragon was silent once more, sorrow coming off it in waves that threatened to drown her in grief. Maybe they were right. Maybe he really was gone.

“Please leave us.” She didn’t look up, didn’t want to see the finality in their eyes, the pity or the sorrow. She had enough of her own to last numerous lifetimes.

“Brienne—”

“Please, Drake, just go.” She closed her eyes, unwilling to face the truth but knowing it would be there waiting for her regardless of whether she ever opened her eyes again. “Rhia, please.”

Without uttering another word, they both left her to grieve as she should have all along.

She sat for hours, watching his restful form, counting his breaths, and remembering their time together. She skipped through the bad parts, not wanting to dwell on the things that had kept them apart for so long. Her hand ached where their joining mark still tingled on her skin. She remembered the day he’d given it to her. Was it really only two months ago?

The palace walls closed in on her, suffocating her. She had to go to the window to catch her breath, and even then, her lungs couldn’t pull enough air. Part of her spirit had died the day of the battles. She’d thought it only temporary, had convinced herself it would all turn out well in the end, but it wouldn’t, not this time.

Looking out into the shadows of early dusk, she caught a glimpse of the mountain. The waterfall’s mist lifted into the air, creating a dense fog at its base. She had to get out of there, get some air. She hadn’t stepped foot out of Evan’s suite since his brothers had carried him up there that horrible day.

“I’ll be back, my love.”
She held her breath, waiting as she’d done numerous times throughout the day, hoping to reconnect, but when nothing stirred, she brought his hand to her lips, kissing his joining mark, then sighed and walked out the door.

Brienne went through the palace, not stopping to speak to anyone on her way out. Rhia took a step closer when she crossed the great hall, but then Drake stopped her and she let her go. What did they expect from her? She wasn’t giving up. Not this time. She wasn’t walking away. She’d done that—twice—and each time had ended with more heartache.

She didn’t notice the flowers in the garden, or the people still milling about. Lost in her own misery, she walked until she’d gone past the palace walls. She made it all the way to the base of the waterfall before she knew where she was going.

Soft white clouds drifted across the pink-tinged sky. The sun dipped behind the mountain, casting the pond in dark shadows, hiding the secret opening to their cavern. Before she could change her mind, she pulled her off her shoes and placed them in the spot where she and Evan had made love the day he’d melded their souls into one.

Heart pounding, she took one look at the deep blue waters, and then dove in. Scared out of her mind, she kicked long and hard. She had to get to the other side. The dragon woke, lending her its strength. Her lungs burned, but she refused to give up. If she couldn’t find the opening, she’d just have to try again and again until she made it across. Had she not been so frantic by the time she reached the smooth stone opening, she would have revelled in her accomplishment. She propelled herself over to the other side, kicking with everything she had until she broke the surface inside the grotto.

Her wheezing breaths sounded loud in the quiet cavern, but she didn’t care. She’d made it. This special place that belonged to just them was where she needed to be. Crawling up onto the sandy shore, she allowed the pain crushing her soul free and cried, really cried, for the mate she’d lost before she’d really had him. If this was to be her existence for the time she had left in this life, she’d accept it and wait for her time to be finished. She wouldn’t turn away from Evan, not this time. Even if all she could have was the shell of his body, she’d stay by his side.