Authors: Debbie Macomber
“Yes, I know,” Alex said impatiently. “Are you avoiding me?”
“Iâ¦I thought youâ¦if you want the truth, I assumed you'd decided not to see me again.”
“Not
see
you,” he repeated loudly. “Are you crazy? I'm nuts about you.”
“Oh.” Her mouth trembled, but whether it was from irritation or sheer blessed relief, Carol didn't know. If he was nuts about her, why had he neglected her all week? Why hadn't he at least left her a message?
“You honestly haven't figured out how I feel about you yet?”
“You haven't been at the school in the past few days, and since I didn't hear from you it made senseâto me, anywayâthat you wanted to cool things down, and I don't blame you. Things are getting much too hot and much tooâ¦well, fast, and personally I thought thatâ¦well, that it was for the best.”
“You thought
what?
” he demanded, his voice exploding over the wire. “When I get home the first thing I'm going to do is kiss some sense into you.”
“When you get home?”
“I'm in Houston.”
“Texas?”
“Is there any other?”
Carol didn't know. “What are you doing there?”
“Wishing I was in Portland, mostly. A friend of mine, another contractor, is involved in a huge project here and ran into problems. There must've been five messages from him when we returned from the camping trip. He needed some help right away.”
“What about James? He isn't with you, is he?”
“He's staying with another friend of mine. I've probably mentioned him before. His name is Barney.”
Vaguely Carol
did
remember either Alex or James mentioning the man, but she couldn't remember where or when she'd heard it. “Howâ¦long will you be gone?” She hated the way her voice fell, the way it made her need for him all too evident.
“Another week at least.”
Her heart catapulted to her feet, then gradually righted itself. “A
week?
”
“I don't like it any better than you do. I can't believe how much I miss you. How much I needed to hear your voice.”
Carol felt that, too, only she hadn't been willing to admit it, even to herself.
There was a slight commotion on Alex's end of the line and when it cleared, he said, “I'll try to call you again, but we're working day and night and this is the first real break I've had in three days. I'm glad I got through to you.”
Her grip tightened on the receiver. “I'm glad, too.”
“I have to go. Bye, Carol. I'll see you Thursday or so of next week.”
“Goodbye, Alexâ¦and thanks for phoning.” She was about to hang up when she realized there was something else she had to say. She cried his name, desperate to catch him before he hung up.
“I'm here. What is it?”
“Alex,” she said, sighing with relief. “I'veâ¦I want you to know Iâ¦I've missed you, too.”
The sound of his chuckle was as warm and melodious as a hundred-voice choir. “It's not much, but it's something. Keep next Thursday open for me, okay?”
“You've got yourself a date.”
Â
Tuesday evening of the following week, Carol was teaching her birthing class. Ten couples were sprawled on big pillows in front of her as she led them through a series of exercises. She enjoyed this work almost as much as she did her daytime job at the hospital. She and Janice Mandle each taught part of the class, with Carol handling the first half.
“Everyone's doing exceptionally well tonight,” Carol said, praising the teams. “Okay, partners, I have a question for you. I want you to tell me, in number of seconds, how long you think a typical labor pain lasts.”
“Thirty seconds,” one young man shouted out.
“Longer,” Carol said.
“Sixty seconds,” yelled another.
Carol shook her head.
“Ninety?”
“You don't sound too sure about that,” Carol said, smiling. “Let's stick with ninety seconds. That's a nice round number, although in the final stages of labor it's not unusual for a contraction to last much longer.”
The pregnant women eyed each other warily.
“All right, partners, I want you to show me your biceps. Tighten them as hard as you can. Good. Good,” she said, surveying the room, watching as several of the men brought up their fists until the muscles of their upper arms bulged. “Make it as tight and as painful as you can,” she continued. Most of the men were gritting their teeth.
“Very good,” she went on to say. “Now, hold that until I tell you to relax.” She walked to the other side of the room. “As far back as 1913, some doctors and midwives recognized that fear and tension could interfere with the birthing process. Even then they believed that deep breathing exercises and relaxation could aid labor.” She paused to glance at her watch. “That's fifteen seconds.”
The look of astonishment that crossed the men's faces was downright comical.
“Keep those muscles tightly clenched,” Carol instructed. She strolled around the room, chatting amiably as the men held their arms as tight as possible. Some were already showing the strain.
“Thirty seconds,” she announced.
Her words were followed by a low groan. Carol couldn't help smiling. She hated to admit how much she enjoyed their discomfort, but this exercise was an excel
lent illustration of the realities of labor, especially for the men. The smile remained on her lips as the door in the back of the room opened to admit a latecomer. Carol opened her mouth to welcome the person, but the words didn't reach her lips.
There, framed inside the door, stood Alex Preston.
C
arol stared at Alex. Alex stared at Carol.
The room went completely still; the air felt heavy, and the quiet seemed eerie, unnatural. It wasn't until Carol realized that several taut faces were gazing up at her anxiously that she pulled her attention away from Alex and back to her class.
“Now, where were we?” she asked, flustered and nervous.
“Ninety seconds,” one of the men shouted.
“Oh. Right.” She glanced at her watch and nodded. “Ninety seconds.”
The relief could be felt all the way across the room.
A few minutes later Carol dismissed everyone for a fifteen-minute break. Janice strolled over to Carol and eyed the back of the room, where Alex was patiently waiting. He was leaning against the back wall, his ankles crossed and his thumbs hooked in the belt loop of his jeans.
“He's gorgeous.”
Carol felt too distracted and tongue-tied to respond,
although her thoughts had been traveling along those same lines. Alex was the sexiest man Carol had ever known. Unabashedly wonderful, too.
“He'sâ¦been out of town,” she said, her eyes magnetically drawn to Alex's.
Janice draped her arm across Carol's shoulders. “Since your portion of tonight's class is finished, why don't you go ahead and leave?”
“I couldn't.” Carol tore her eyes from Alex long enough to study her co-teacher. They were a team, and although they'd divided the class into two distinct sections, they stayed and lent each other emotional support.
“Yes, you can. I insist. Only⦔
“Only what?” Carol pressed.
“Only promise me that if another gorgeous guy walks in off the street and looks at me like he's looking at you, you'll return the favor.”
“Of course,” Carol answered automatically.
Janice's voice fell to a whisper. “Good. Then we'll consider this our little secret.”
Carol frowned. “I don't understandâwhat do you mean, our little secret?”
“Well, if my husband found out about this agreement, there could be problems.”
Carol laughed. Janice was happily married and had been for fifteen years.
“If I were you I wouldn't be hanging around here talking,” Janice murmured, giving Carol a small shove. “Don't keep him waiting any longer.”
“Okayâ¦thanks.” Feeling unaccountably shy, Carol retrieved her purse and her briefcase and walked toward Alex. With each step that drew her nearer, her heart felt
lighter. By the time she made her way to the back of the room, she felt nearly airborne.
He straightened, his eyes warm and caressing. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
“Peter told me you were teaching tonight and where. I hope you don't mind that I dropped in unexpectedly.”
“I don't mind.”
Mind?
Her heart was soaring with gladness. She could've flown without an airplane. No, she didn't mind that he'd dropped inânot in the least.
For the longest moment all they did was gaze at each other like starry-eyed lovers.
A noise at the front of the room distracted Carol. She glanced over her shoulder and saw several couples watching them with undisguised curiosity.
“Janice said she'd finish up here, and I couldâ¦should leave now.”
Alex grinned, and with that, Carol could feel whole sections of the sturdy wall around her heart start to crumble. This man's smile was nothing short of lethal.
“Remind me to thank her later,” Alex said. He removed the briefcase from her unresisting fingers and opened the door, letting her precede him outside.
They hadn't taken two steps out the door when Alex paused. Carol felt his hesitation and stopped, turning to face him. That was when she knew Alex was going to kiss her. It didn't matter that they were standing in front of a public building. It didn't matter that it was still light enough for any number of passersby to see them. It didn't matter that they were both respected professionals.
Alex scooped her into his arms and with a lavish sigh lowered his head and covered her lips in the sweetest, wildest kiss of her life.
“I've missed you,” he whispered. “The hours felt like years, the days like decades.”
Carol felt tears in the corners of her eyes. She hadn't thought about how empty her life had felt without him, how bleak and alone she was with him away. Now it poured out of her in a litany of sighs and kisses. “Iâ¦I missed you, tooâso much.”
For years she'd been content in her own secure world, the one she'd created for herself and her son. The borders had been narrow, confining, but she'd made peace with herself and found serenity. Then she'd met Alex, and he'd forced her to notice how cramped and limited her existence was. Not only that, he'd pointed toward the horizon, to a new land of shared dreams.
When Alex spoke again, his voice was heavy with need. “Come on, let's get out of here.”
She nodded and followed him to his car, ready to abandon her own with little more than a second thought.
He unlocked the passenger door, then turned to face her. His eyes were dancing with excitement. “Let's dispense with formalities and elope. Now. Tonight. This minute.”
The words hit her hard. She blinked at the unexpectedness of his suggestion, prepared to laugh it off as a joke.
But Alex was serious. He looked as shocked as Carol felt, but she noted that the idea had begun to gain momentum. The mischievous spark in his eyes was gone, replaced by a solemn look.
“I love you, Carol. I love you so much that my buddy in Texas practically threw me on the plane and told me to get home before I died of it. He said he'd never seen anyone more lovesick and made me promise we'd name one of our children after him.”
The mention of a child was like a right cross to the jaw after his punch to her solar plexus, and she flinched involuntarily.
Alex set his hands on her shoulders, and a smile touched his eyes and then his mouth. He smiled so endearingly that all of Carol's arguments fled like dust in a whirlwind.
“Say something.”
“Ahâ¦my car's parked over there.” She pointed in the general vicinity of her Ford. Her throat was so tight she could hardly speak.
He laughed and hugged her. “I know this is sudden for you. I'm a fool not to have done it properly. I swear I'll do it again over champagne and give you a diamond so large you'll sink in a swimming pool, but I can't keep the way I feel inside anymore.”
“Alex⦔
He silenced her with a swift kiss. “Believe me, blurting out a proposal like this is as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. I had no idea I was going to ask you tonight. The entire flight home I was trying to figure out how I could make it as romantic as possible. The last thing I expected to do was impulsively shout it out in a parking lot. But something happened tonight.” He reached for her limp hands and brought them to his lips, then kissed her knuckles with reverence. “When I walked into your class and saw you with all those pregnant women, I was hit with the most powerful shock of my life.” His voice grew quiet. “All of a sudden, my mind conjured up the image of you pregnant with our child, and I swear it was all I could do not to break down and weep.” He paused long enough to run his fingers through his hair. “Children, Carolâ¦our children.” He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.
Carol felt frozen. The chill worked its way from her heart, the icy circles growing larger and more encompassing until the cold extended down her arms and legs and into her fingers and toes.
“I know this is abrupt, and I'm probably ruining the moment, but say something,” Alex urged. “Anything.”
Carol's mind refused to function properly. Panic was closing in, panic and a hundred misgivings. “Iâ¦don't know what to tell you.”
Alex threw back his head and laughed. “I don't blame you. All right,” he said, his eyes flashing, “repeat after me. I, Carol Sommars.” He glanced expectantly at her.
“Iâ¦Carol Sommars⦔
“Am crazy in love with Alex Preston.” He waited for her to echo his words.
“Am crazy in love with Alex Preston.”
“Good,” he whispered and leaned forward just enough to brush his mouth over hers. His arms slipped around her, locking at the small of her back and dragging her unresistingly toward him. “You know, the best part about those babies is going to be making them.”
A blush rose up her neck, coloring her cheeks with what she felt sure was a highly uncomplimentary shade of pink. Her eyes darted away from his.
“Now all you need to do is say
yes,
” Alex said.
“I can't. Iâ¦don't know.” To her horror, she started to sob, not with the restrained tears of a confused woman, but the harsh mournful cries of one in anguish.
Alex had apparently expected anything but tears. “Carol? What's wrong? What did I say?” He wrapped his arms around her and brought her head to his shoulder.
Carol wanted to resist his touch, but she so desperately
needed it that she buried her face in the curve of his neck and wept. Alex's arms were warm and safe, his hands gentle. She did love him. Somewhere between his rescue the night her car broke down and the camping trip, her well-guarded heart had succumbed to his appeal. But falling in love was one thing; marriage and children were something else entirely.
“Come on,” Alex finally said. He opened the car door for her.
“Where are we going?” she asked, sniffling.
“My house. James won't be home yet, and we can talk without being disturbed.”
Carol wasn't sure what more he could say, but she agreed with a nod of her head and climbed inside. He closed the door for her, then paused and ran a hand over his eyes, slumping wearily.
Neither of them said much during the ten-minute drive. He helped her out of his car, then unlocked the front door to his house. His suitcases had been haphazardly dumped on the living room carpet. When he saw Carol looking at them, he said simply, “I was in a hurry to find you.” He led the way into the kitchen and started making a pot of coffee.
Carol pulled out a stool at the counter and seated herself. His kitchenâin fact, his homeâwasn't at all what she expected. A woman's touch could be seen and felt in every room. The kitchen was yellow and cheery. What remained of the evening light shone through the window above the sink, sending warm shadows across the polished tile floor. Matching ceramic canisters lined the counter, along with a row of well-used cookbooks.
“Okay, Carol, tell me what's on your mind,” Alex urged,
facing her from behind the tile counter. Even then Carol wasn't safe from his magnetism.
“That's the problem,” she said, swallowing hard. “I don't
know
what's on my mind. I'm so confusedâ¦.”
“I realize my proposal came out of the blue, but once you think about it, you'll understand how perfect we are for each other. Surely you've thought about it yourself.”
“No,” she said quickly, and for emphasis, shook her head. “I hadn'tâ¦not once. Marriage hadn't occurred to me.”
“I see.” He raised his right hand to rub his eyes again.
Carol knew he must be exhausted and was immediately overcome with remorse. She
did
love Alex, although admitting itâto herself as much as to himâhad sapped her strength.
“What do you want to do?” he asked softly.
“I'm not sure,” she whispered, staring down at her hands, which were tightly clenched in her lap.
“Would some time help?”
She nodded eagerly.
“How long?”
“A year. Several months. At the very least, three or four weeks.”
“How about two weeks?” Alex suggested.
“Two weeks,” she echoed feebly. That wasn't nearly enough. She couldn't possibly reach such an important decision in so little time, especially when there were other factors to consider. Before she could voice a single excuse, Alex pressed his finger to her lips.
“If you can't decide in that length of time, then I doubt you ever will.”
A protest came and went in a single breath. There were so many concerns he hadn't mentionedâlike their sons!
She was about to bring this up when Alex said, “I don't think we should draw the boys into this until we know our own minds. The last thing we need is pressure from them.”
Carol agreed completely.
The coffee had finished perking, and Alex poured them each a cup. “How about dinner Friday night? Just the two of us.” At her hesitation, he added, “I'll give you the rest of this week to sort through your thoughts, and if you still have any questions or doubts by Friday, we can discuss them then.”
“But not a final decision?” Carol murmured, uneasy with the time limitation. He'd said two weeks, and she was going to need every minute to make up her mind.