Riding the Surf (9 page)

He stared at her. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

She blinked her tears away. “People called me a slut and a whore.”

“You did it for you
r family,” Derek snapped. “Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about that. And they are just pictures. It’s not like you did porn. Who cares what they think. I think you’re fucking amazing for doing that.”

“Really?” S
he sniffed.

“Absolutely.”

“Well, I couldn’t do it anymore because my dad found out and he was embarrassed so I started to pursue surfing. I’ve been using my winnings to pay it back.”

“How much do you owe?”

She calculated the total in her head. “About fifty grand.”

“Wow.”

“I owed three hundred thousand.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah…”

He grabbed her face. “Now you only owe ten. You’re almost done.”

“No, I owe thirty.”

“I’m giving you my winnings.”

“What?”

“I’m not arguing with you about this. That’s final.”

“Derek—”

“You’re wasting your time.”

She looked away, wiping her tears away. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t thank me, baby. I would do anything for you.” He kissed her forehead
then pressed his face close to hers.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close.

Derek knew she was in pain, but he was in heaven. He loved feeling her hold him, want him. He ran his fingers through her hair, feeling the silky strands. His hand glided down her neck, touching her gently. The ocean was heard in the distance, along with the sound of seagulls.

“Thank you for not judging me,” she whispered.

“There’s nothing to judge. I like you even more. You are selfless, passionate, caring, so many more things. I would never hold that against you. And your dad is an asshole for not understanding that.”

She sniffed again. “I feel like I have no one.”

“You have me.” He grabbed her hand and placed it over his chest. “Breathe with me, baby.”

She buried her face in his neck and concentrated. Within a few minutes, her breathing was back to normal. They sat together for an hour, saying nothing. When he glanced down, he realized Paola had fallen asleep. He gathered her in his arm
s then carried her to his bed. When he laid her down, her dress moved up slightly. The pervert inside him wanted to look, but he didn’t. He pulled it down then pulled the sheet over her.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. “I’m sorry if I fell asleep.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered, sitting at the edge of the bed.

Paola pulled the sheet off then ran her fingers through her hair.

“You can sleep here. I can sleep on the couch.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said.

The room was dark. The sheets were rumbled. When Derek remembered what he did last night, he felt the heat flush through his body. To shake the thoughts, he looked away. She moved closer to him then rested her head on his shoulder.

When he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, she moved and hi
s lips landed on hers. When she didn’t pull away, moving her lips against his, Derek immediately reciprocated. He wasn’t planning on making any moves tonight, not when she was upset and not when they were alone in the hotel room, but she made the move first. He couldn’t say no to that.

Her fingers moved into his hair
as she kissed him, becoming more intense. Derek moaned into her mouth, loving the gentle caress of her small lips. When she lay down, pulling him with her, he felt his heart accelerate.

Derek moved on top of her and kept kissing her
, feeling his body shake as he touched her. The natural connection between them was powerful and fantastical. Never in his life had he felt so raw, felt his heart become so vulnerable to another person. When he kissed her neck, she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her dress moved up, revealing her underwear. Derek wanted to look down but he didn’t. He kept kissing her but his hand moved to the fabric of her thong, fingering it.

When his thoughts turned more sinister, he stopped touching her underwear and kept his hands on the sheets. He wanted to do more, but he knew he couldn’t. He would settle for just kissing her tonight.

Her hands moved to his shirt to pull it off. He let her take it away. Paola’s hand ran up and down his chest, and he was pleased to know that she enjoyed his body. Her moans became louder as they kissed and she unbuttoned his jeans.

Derek felt the confusion bubble in his mind. He wanted this happen but he couldn’t let it come to pass. She was too upset, too vulnerable. He felt like he was taking advantage of her. They hadn’t even had a first day yet—officially. He grabbed her hands and pinned them behind her head while he kissed her, stopping the escalation.

Paola slowly moved from his grasp then grabbed his jeans again. She was very persistent.

Derek grabbed her again, keeping her wandering hands at bay.

She broke their kiss. “Why don’t you want me?”

“Because I love you.”

The silence echoed around them. Their breathing was drowned out in the resonance of his words. He couldn’t stop the words from escaping his lips. They just flew out. But he knew he meant them. Never in his life had he cared about someone the way he cared about her. He knew it the moment he saw her. If she was anyone else, he would take advantage of her and get his dick wet. He respected her too much, adored her too much.

She stared
at him and said nothing.

Derek moved off of her and
grabbed his shirt, pulled it on. He turned away so he wouldn’t see her underwear. She pulled down her dress then grabbed her shoes.

“I should go,” she whispered.

“I’ll walk you to your door.”

They waited
a few minutes before they reached her room.

He grabbed her face
and kissed her forehead. “Goodnight.”

She took a deep breath. “Good
night.”

“If you want to sleep with me, I’m right next door.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

He waited for her
walk inside before he went back to his room.

Like the night before, he rubbed one out, calling her name as he came.

10

The next morning, he knocked on her door.

When she opened it, she was wearing a sundress with a flower in her hair. She looked adorable.

“Would you like to get breakfast?” he asked.

“Actually, I’m meeting a friend.”

“Oh,” he said. “Who?”

She walked around him. “I’ll see you later.”

Derek picked up on her attitude. There was something wrong. “Paola?”

“What?” she said, not looking at him.

“Who are you meeting?”

“Vince,” she said quietly.

He felt the anger rise. “Why?”

“We agreed to meet again before I left.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Excuse me?”

“You aren’t hanging out with your ex-boyfriend while your current boyfriend waits around for you. I saw him with you last night. He wants to sleep with you before you go. I can guarantee that’s what’s on his mind.”

“You aren’t my boyfriend.”

“Excuse me?” he snapped. “Yes, I am.”

“No, you aren’t,” she said with more conviction.

“So what the hell was last night? Are you mad that I didn’t sleep with you?”

She avoided his gaze.

“You realize the only reason why I didn’t sleep with you is be
cause I actually care about you? Believe me, if I didn’t give a shit, I’d fuck your brains out and never call you again.”

“Yes, I know. Your reputations presides you.”

His eyes widened. “And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Derek, I told you I didn’t want to be with you yesterday.”

“And yet, you’ve kissed me, held me, and wanted to have sex with me…”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“Yes, you were. You knew exactly what you were doing. Don’t downplay your feelings for me. I was there. You can’t lie and pretend it didn’t happen.”

“I admit my behavior was wrong,” Paola said. “But now I’m thinking clearly. You’re an asshole, Derek.”

“What?”

“I know what you did to Nancy and every other girl you’ve been with. You’re a cheater and a liar. You aren’t good for me.”

“How dare you throw that in my face! I made a mistake and I’ll regret it forever. I’m nothing like that anymore. I told you I fucking loved you, for god’s sake.”

“You just said that
to get what you wanted.”

“Why?” he snapped. “To sleep with you? Because I distinctly remember that being the reason why I didn’t sleep with you.”

She glared at him. “Whatever this is, it’s over.”

“No, it isn’t,” he snapped. “You know me, Paola. I would never hurt you. You’re—you’re my best friend. I’m not playing any games with you. I don’t want anyone else—just you. I admit I was an asshole before, but I’m not like that anymore. Honestly.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you fucked some other girl.”

He felt his anger explode. “Maybe you should have starting surfing before you took half naked pictures of yourself.”

Her eyes widened like she’d been slapped. “Fuck you!”

“It’s the same thing! I don’t hold that against you, don’t hold this against me. That isn’t fair.”

“I can’t believe I kissed you.”

“I can
,” Derek said. “It seemed like you enjoyed it. And you know why? Because you feel the exact same way I do. So don’t push me away because your dumbass ex cheated on you. I’m not going to do that and you know it. You can see it when you look in my eyes. And you wouldn’t have fooled around with me if there wasn’t something there. So no, we aren’t done.”

“Fuck you, Derek. Get away from me.”

“Why? You have a photo shoot to get to?”

“I hate you!”

“And I love you.”

“Stop saying that,” she said, tears coating her eyes. She slapped him across the face.

He breathed through the anger then stared at her. “I love you, I love you, I fucking love you!”

She turned and marched off.

He watched her go, clenching his fists at his sides. When she was out of sight, he stormed into his room and wanted to punch something. With nothing to break, he did a hundred pushups then screamed. The wonderful weekend just turned to shit. Now Derek wished he hadn’t done the right thing. He should have just fucked her and never told her how he felt. Now she’d fallen for him and it scared her. He was livid that she held his past against him. That wasn’t fair.

He packed his belongings then waited for her to return. They had a plane to catch. He’d cooled off slightly but he was still pissed. When he heard her door open, he walked to it then slammed his fist against it.

“Go away!”

“We have a plane to catch. Give me your bags.”

She opened the door and glared at him.

“Did you fuck him?”

Paola tried to slam the door but he held it open.

“Answer me.”

“It’s none of your business.”

He marched into the room then cornered her against the wall. “I asked you a fucking question.”

She remained glued to the wall. “No.”

He was still pissed but his anger dimmed insignificantly. It would kill him if she slept with someone else. It didn’t matter how upset he was.  He grabbed her bags and shoulder
ed them along with his own.

“I can carry my own things.”

“We’re in a hurry since you took so long,” he said as he marched out.

“Shut up,” she said.

They checked out and took the cab to the airport. When they were on the plane, it was awkward to sit so close to one another. He gave her the window seat again. Neither one spoke. When the plane was about to take off, she started to freak out again.

Derek put his anger aside in light of her fear. He turned to her and grabbed her hand, putting it to his chest like he did before. She didn’t pull it away and closed her eyes. Her breathing returned to no
rmal as the plane shook on take-off. He watched her face as it morphed from fear to calm. When she was better, he pulled away.

The rest of the flight was spent in silence. More than anger, Derek felt pain. Her rejection of him carved his heart into pieces. He was livid with her. He was just trying to do the right thing. He proved how much he cared about her. His past shouldn’t matter.

When they landed, they left the airport and walked toward their cars. She stormed off without looking at him, throwing her stuff in the back tailgate. Derek watched her to make sure she got everything and left the parking lot. Then he got into his vehicle and drove home.

When he lay in his bed, he felt worse than he ever had. He had the most amazing thing in the world and he lost it just as quickly. He kept thinking about her, wondering if she was thinking about him.

He knew he said the L word too quickly, but he didn’t care. He meant it. And he had a strong feeling she felt the same way.