Riccardo's Secret Child (11 page)

‘There
is
no us, Helen.' His voice was gentle but Julia detected the thread of irritation in it and shuddered inwardly.

‘But there could be! If you'll just give us another chance.'

‘It didn't work out,' he told her flatly, ‘and, if you recall, I never made you any promises. In fact, I was at pains to warn you that I was not on the lookout for commitment.'

‘But—'

‘There are no
buts
, Helen. You need to move on. I've moved on.' His eyes involuntarily flickered across to Julia and Helen followed his gaze, registering the woman next to her for the first time since she had sat at their table.

‘Her? You're going out with
her
?' Her voice wasn't hard with criticism or resentment. It was bewildered, and that struck Julia more forcibly than if she had been punched in the chest by someone in a jealous rage. ‘But you can't be. Look at
me
. How could you choose
her
over
me
?'

‘Leave this table immediately.' He did not raise his voice by so much as a decibel. He didn't have to. Its very softness was the equivalent of a whiplash, and Helen blanched vis
ibly. When she stood up she turned fully to Julia and spoke in a wavering voice.

‘I don't believe Riccardo is going out with you,' she said with tears in her eyes. ‘He's always dated good-looking blondes. We used to joke about it, about the way he was always attracted to the same type.' She gave a stifled sob and raised her hand to her mouth, as if pressing down the emotion. ‘I don't understand.' She turned away and blindly made her way, head bent, weaving through the tables until she had disappeared towards the other side of the room.

‘I apologise for that,' he said roughly. ‘Helen and I broke up before I met you. She obviously thought I was joking when I told her it was over.'

Julia didn't say anything. She understood everything and it made her blood run cold.

‘I just didn't understand how you could actually be attracted to a
little brown sparrow
like me.' Her voice was mocking. It was easy to use derision to conceal her hurt, her hurt and her anger at herself, because she knew that somewhere deep inside she had half hoped that he really had been attracted to her. ‘Now I understand that you weren't.'

‘You understand nothing!' he bit out savagely and she smiled, distancing herself from the powerful, potently masculine man leaning towards her, his black eyes burning with intent.

‘Oh, no, that's where you're wrong, Riccardo. They say that men go for certain models and very rarely deviate from form. You go for good-looking blondes. Helen said as much herself.' An icy calm had replaced the rampant chaos in her mind. ‘You would never in a month of Sundays be seriously attracted to a brown-haired, bespectacled teacher like me. But you were willing to seduce me, weren't you, Riccardo? Because what you wanted wasn't
me
. You
wanted to pay me back for what I did, for disrupting your life, for exploding a bomb in your highly organised, perfectly fine-tuned existence. I was the messenger who brought the bad news, and they say we always want to shoot the messenger. That's it, isn't it, Riccardo Fabbrini? You were prepared to set aside your high standards in the opposite sex because it suited you to use your charm on me, to what…make me fall in love with you? So that you could then walk away and teach me a lesson? Was that it?'

She waited for him to at least deny it, hoped desperately that he would, but the hesitation that greeted her accusation was answer in itself, and Julia stood up abruptly, sick to the stomach.

She should have listened to the warning bells in her head, should have kept her distance. She knew better now.

J
ULIA
could feel the sting of tears at the backs of her eyes as she sat, stony-faced, in the car, her jaw clenched, staring straight ahead. Tears of mortification and hurt.

Riccardo slammed the driver's door behind him but instead of starting the engine he turned to her, leaning against the door.

‘Look at me.'

‘Take me home, please. Or I shall have to get out of the car and order a taxi.'

‘Don't be ridiculous. You would have to wait hours if you ordered a taxi. They're not exactly lining the streets outside.'

‘I am
not
being ridiculous! I just want to go home.' Ridiculous, though, was how she felt. Ridiculous in her prim grey outfit, dusted down especially for the occasion, sad and ridiculous.

Riccardo's jaw clenched and he took a few deep breaths. ‘I'm sorry about what happened in there. I had no idea Helen would be there or else, naturally, we would have gone somewhere else.'

‘Oh, yes, I'm sure you're sorry,' Julia's head snapped round and she glared angrily at him. They had parked at a fair distance from the front of the nightclub, but there was still enough light to throw his handsome face into angled relief. How she could ever have believed, even in the remotest corner of her heart, that this dark, breathtakingly sexy man could ever have touched her body with desire made her shudder with humiliation. ‘Sorry because I ex
posed you for what you are! A man who feels that he can dominate everything and everyone in his life, do exactly what he pleases without thought for anyone else. No wonder Caroline cringed from you!'

‘Don't you dare bring my ex-wife into this equation! You've jumped to conclusions and arrived at your own twisted explanations because of your own insecurities.' He was guiltily aware that there was an element of truth in her accusations, but instead of calming him down that only served to stoke his anger further. The minute he had touched her he had been consumed by a need far greater than anything he had experienced before and now…now he realised that his need had been controlling him all along. He had tagged on a few handy reasons to justify his burning desire to touch her, but the brutal truth was that he was attracted to this woman, deeply attracted to the woman who had purposefully wrought havoc with his life. The fact that it made no sense had pushed him into dealing with the unfamiliar sensation of being out of control in the only way he knew how. By trying to take over the reins, by trying to control his inexplicable feelings.

‘Don't you dare talk to me about my insecurities,' Julia bit out harshly. ‘You don't know a damn thing about me or my insecurities! You pigeonholed me into the enemy from day one and you never bothered to try and understand me or what motivates me! You think you know me because you think you know everything!'

The car was alive with tension; it crackled around them and crawled along her skin and into her bones.

‘And you haven't pigeonholed
me
?' He laughed, a dry, unpleasant sound. ‘I am Caroline's nasty ex-husband—have you forgotten? I'm the bastard who drove her into the arms of another man. Did
you
ever stop to think that the beast my ex-wife described to you could have felt pain? I might
have stopped loving her…maybe I never really did love her. The illusion of love can be powerful but betrayal hurts. Did you ever consider that? Oh, no, you just assumed that I was a bastard and so it was all right to deny me my own daughter because I couldn't possibly have any redeeming features.'

Julia went white as he plucked the unarticulated thoughts from her head and laid them out in front of her in merciless detail.

‘You took one look at Helen and decided that she represented the only type of woman I could possibly look at twice. But, as I said, you're looking in the wrong direction for your conclusions. Instead of throwing it at me, try throwing it at yourself. The fact is, you measured yourself against her and found yourself wanting.'

‘That's not true! Now drive me home immediately.'

‘And cut short this revealing conversation? I think not.' It shocked him to realise that the only thing he wanted to do, really wanted to do, was to finish what had been started in the gardens of the nightclub an hour ago. She sat there, spitting rage at him, as if he had struck a match and tossed it at her, and he wanted to touch her. It made such little sense that he almost shook his head in bewilderment. But he wasn't going to let her squirm away from this. He wasn't going to allow her to throw her frank observations in his face and then turn her back on him before he had a chance to throw a few of his own back at her.

‘You have hang-ups about how you look, and your mother probably doesn't help matters by rattling on about marriage and settling down. Underneath that controlled exterior you're burning up with your own insecurities, which is why you think that a man who could bed a woman like Helen would never choose to bed you.'

‘Do you have to use such coarse language?'

‘Sometimes I'm a coarse man. I don't go around ducking behind civilised phrases when a few blunt words would do much better instead. But do you know what I think?' He leaned forward, crowding her, and Julia felt her heart begin to accelerate. Even though her mind was shrieking disdain, her whole body was reacting to his proximity. Her breasts were hardening and her eyes were compulsively drifting to the narrow line of his sensuous mouth. God, she wanted to touch it, wanted it to devour her, every part of her. It made her sick to think about it.

‘I don't care what you think.'

‘But you'll listen anyway,' he ground out. ‘I think coarse men like me turn you on. I'll bet my house that you've spent your life going out with namby-pamby sissies in touch with their feminine sides.' He made a derogatory sound under his breath and Julia inclined her body towards him, so that their faces were almost touching.

She was so mad that she had to keep her hands clenched on her lap or risk slapping that knowing smirk off his face.

‘It may not occur to you that some women happen to like men who are sensitive and kind and considerate and thoughtful! Men who don't act as though the entire universe is their own private playground to do with as they want!'

‘Some women, but not you.' He knew that she was itching to hit him. Quite honestly, he could understand why, but God, he wanted her to admit that she had been powerless against him when he had touched her. ‘You don't want a man you can order about like one of your school-children. You want a man who will take you, and when he's finished you'll want to beg for him to take you again. Me.'

Julia laughed but to her own ears it sounded brittle and unconvincing. ‘You! You flatter yourself!'

‘Do I?' he murmured, his eyes flicking to her full mouth.

Abruptly, the atmosphere in the car changed. Julia drew her breath in sharply, wanting to look away but unable to tear her eyes from his lazy inspection of her face. She felt mesmerised, like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a car. Her lips parted and he raised his hand to trace the contours of her mouth.

‘Stop it, please, Riccardo,' she mumbled weakly, and he gave a low, sexy laugh.

‘Sure. But only because I can think of better places for my finger to be.' He removed her spectacles and placed them on the walnut dashboard, almost expecting her to pull away from him and not knowing what he would do if she did that. He didn't trust himself to behave like a perfect gentleman.

‘Do you want to know where I want my hand to be?' he asked softly, and Julia shook her head dumbly and muttered, ‘No.'

‘Then you'll stop me, will you?' He slipped his hand under her shirt and hooked his finger under her bra, tugging gently until her breast popped out, and without taking his eyes from her face, he stroked her nipple, feeling his own arousal surge as his finger grated over the tightened bud.

Riccardo buried his face against the side of her neck, nipping her skin until Julia thought she would pass out from the twin sensations of his mouth against her skin while his finger rubbed her sensitised nipple.

She wanted to drag herself away from this madness, but her brain seemed to be wrapped in cotton wool.

He was taking advantage of her, proving a point, proving to them both that the craving she felt for him was beyond control, but she was powerless to resist. As soon as he laid one finger on her, her body went up in flames, and her
hunger for him fanned the flames until the only consuming thing in her head was having him.

She arched back with a shuddering sigh, and he bent to lick her stomach while his hand slipped beneath her skirt and he felt the soft flesh of her parted thighs.

She was certain that he would be able to hear the furious hammering of her heart as he nuzzled upwards until he found her nipple with his mouth and he began pulling on it, sucking her breast into his mouth as she caressed his dark, bent head. His exploring finger had now insinuated itself down under her briefs and began rubbing erotically into her, drawing her feminine moisture up to dampen the throbbing bud of her womanhood.

Twisting to her side, Julia groped until she found the zipper of his trousers and tugged it down, grappling with the button on the waistband and feeling a surge of satisfaction as he groaned and helped her in her efforts towards his rigid manhood.

As her hand clasped around it he groaned again, his breathing as uncontrolled as her own.

Had Riccardo been right? Had she only ever sought out the gentle, unassuming men because deep down she had felt that they were all she could aspire to? Unthreatening men who politely kissed her and fumbled with her body as though embarrassed at being in female terrain? Had she steered clear of aggressive, dominant males, men like Riccardo, although she had never actually met anyone quite like him, because of her own lack of self-esteem in how she looked? Surely not… Yet here she was, turned on and utterly incapable of turning herself off!

She only removed her hand to wriggle out of her under-clothes, scarcely believing what she was doing, eager to resume her exploration of his body. With a little shove, she pushed his head away from where his mouth was fastened
to her nipple, nipping it and licking, and with her free hand she shakily undid the buttons of his shirt and ran her hand over his taut stomach before she flicked her tongue over his flat brown nipples.

This couldn't be happening, yet it was. The windows were misty but she still felt her instinctive modesty kick in when he commanded her to sit on him.

‘I can't! We're in a car park,' she gasped and he gave a low growl of amusement.

‘So what? No one's around and God, I want you. Now!'

Julia wondered whether slightly built frames were fashioned for making love in small places. Or maybe her own frantic need was sufficient to expedite what he had demanded. Her skirt, twisted around her, barely hampered her lithe transference from her own seat to his and she felt the thrust of him in her with exquisite, searing pleasure. Every pore in her body was tingling for satisfaction and all modesty was thrown to the winds as he freed her of her jacket and ordered her to take off her camisole and bra for him so that he could see her as they made love.

She heard his sharp intake of breath as her breasts were exposed and felt a heady, dizzying wave of power as his eyes raked over her nakedness. She leant forward so that her breast dipped towards his mouth and slowly began to move on him, watching with heightened senses as his tongue flicked to capture her nipple in his eager mouth.

He slipped his hands around her waist and her movements quickened until they were soaring, beyond caring who might pass by and be curious at what was going on in the expensive Jaguar with the steamed-up windows.

Julia felt her shuddering peaks of excitement ebbing and rising once again, and then, drained, she fell against his broad chest, wanting nothing more than to snuggle into him and let her spent drowsiness take her away.

Riccardo stroked her hair. God, he had just had the most intense orgasm he could remember, and he could take her again. What the hell was this all about? He sighed, perplexed, and she straightened, her languid gaze focusing finally on his face.

‘My God,' Julia whispered. She was suddenly aware of her state of undress and began to edge off him, but his big hands covered her hips, holding her firmly in place. He looked at her, then lowered his eyes to roam over her upper body. Her breasts were perfectly proportioned for her slight body, pert and upright, with big, rosy nipples. Just looking at them made Riccardo stir in automatic response. He reached out and inserted his finger under one, gently stroking, then he blew and watched her nipple tighten as it reacted to his breath.

‘Riccardo, no.'

‘You doubt that I could give a repeat performance?' he drawled, catching her eyes with his. ‘Believe me, I could.'

She could believe him. Not only was he the epitome of virile man, but she could also feel him hardening inside her, filling her out. Julia could have stayed where she was, pleasuring herself in his rampant feasting of her body, but the niggling doubts that had been cast aside when passion took over were now making themselves felt.

They had just made love, but why was it, when she looked at him, that the last thing stamped on his face was love?

She slowly lifted herself from him and slipped back into her seat, reaching out for her spectacles, but instead of putting them on, she held them loosely on her lap.

‘What is it?' he asked sharply, turning to her.

‘Nothing.' Everything, she thought. She had just performed the most intimate act that could exist between a man and a woman but that was where the intimacy stopped.
He had seduced her with his tongue and with his body, but not because he loved her or even cared about her.

He had talked around her accusations, had tried to make her feel as though she had misjudged his intentions, but now, when Julia thought about it, she realised that he had not denied any of the things she had hurled at him. He had not denied his intent to seduce her as a payback.