Ribblestrop Forever! (11 page)

Everyone gathered outside the dining hall. There was an enormous
Keep Out
sign screwed right across the doors and a coil of barbed wire under that.

The headmaster arrived, looking agitated. ‘Stay calm, everybody,’ he said. ‘I think there’s been a slight misunderstanding. Lady Vyner’s gone on the offensive, by
the looks of things, and taken advantage of our absence yesterday.’

‘I think you’re right, sir,’ said Captain Routon. ‘There are guards everywhere. Doesn’t look pleasant.’

‘I’ve been trying to find her, but she won’t see me.’

‘They’re boarding up the windows,’ said Oli.

‘We can soon un-board them,’ said Eric. ‘If they think we’re leaving, they’re going to get the shock of their lives!’

‘We can get this open,’ said Sanjay, nodding at the dining-hall doors. ‘Just a couple of grinders. There are bolt-cutters in the stable.’

‘I daresay there are,’ said the headmaster. ‘I don’t really want a pitched battle here in the corridors, though. Someone’s going to get hurt and . . . the last
thing we want is more policemen chasing after us. Clarissa, are you all right?’

‘No, Giles, I’m not.’

Professor Worthington had appeared round the corner and was trying to control her fury.

‘There are hooligans in my laboratory.’

‘Who are they?’

‘These . . . I don’t know who they are. This security firm – they’re everywhere.’

‘SSS?’ said Sam.

As he spoke, two men in black overalls walked past carrying what looked like a tank-trap, festooned in chains. They wore peaked caps and the initials flashed yellow.

‘They’re working for my gran,’ said Caspar, in a small voice. ‘I heard her on the phone.’

‘What did you hear?’ said Sanchez.

‘She wants you out. You know that, but—’

‘She’s wanted us out ever since we arrived,’ said Millie.

‘She said this time we’re finished,’ said Caspar. ‘Because of the nursing home. Read that notice – I saw her writing it.’

A large paper banner had been pasted onto a wooden barricade, some distance down the corridor. Everyone moved towards it. There were similar barriers going up behind them, hemming them in. The
paper was still wet with glue and the heading had been scrawled by a savage hand.
Get out now!
it said.
And stay out forever!

Vijay was a good reader and he started at the top.

‘
By order of Lacson and Lacson, solicitors to Lady G Vyner – undisputed owner of Ribblestrop Towers, henceforth to be known as “the premises”. Lady G Vyner, henceforth
to be known as “Chief Prosecutor” wants it to be known to all adults and children in the so-called school known as Ribblestrop Towers but henceforth to be known as “the illegal
and unwanted occupying colony of filthy squatters” that
. . .’ Vijay gave up. ‘Sorry, I’m lost,’ he said. ‘I don’t understand any of it.’

Doonan took over, and read more slowly.

‘
The prosecutor wants the squatters
– that’s us –
to know that they have absolutely no rights any more. They would not have come back last night, if I’d
had my way. Their worldly goods – which is mainly junk anyway and belongs on a bonfire – have been confiscated. They are now in a big pile and will be released only when the squatters
gather up the last few crumbs of their tatty, stinking garbage and vacate the premises, which they need to do now if they know what’s good for them or I’ll be setting dogs on them.
This, by the way, includes my so-called grandson.
’

The children glanced round to see that Caspar was turning pink.

‘
He was always a bitter disappointment and running away the other day was the final straw. Well, he’s made his bed so he can lie in it and dream about all the things he
won’t be inheriting when his loving grandmother succumbs to her broken heart. The Vyner name will live on in some other way and he can take to the road and die in the gutter.
’

‘Good day to you all,’ said a voice.

The children swung round.

‘I wrote that last bit this morning, Caspar. Especially for you.’

It was Lady Vyner in person. She was more ghastly then ever, for she was smiling. Her mouth looked like a purple gash in a face that had been squeezed in a vice. It was tilted sideways above the
sepia yellow of her nightdress. She was rubbing inky hands in glee and a high-pitched laugh – not unlike the whine of a bandsaw – echoed down the corridor. A small man stood behind
her.

‘Your school’s finished!’ she cried. ‘I’ve even taken the pencils! What’s left, I wonder? Just a bunch of shabby teachers, cluttering up my home with their
luckless pupils. You didn’t expect a full-on takeover, did you, headmaster? Oh, this will be money well spent! Come on, Lacson. Read the eviction order!’

‘Lady Vyner,’ said the headmaster. ‘I must protest—’

‘You can protest outside!’ snarled the old lady. ‘You can hire yourself a lawyer and do all the protesting you want. But I’ll tell you something for free: you don’t
stand a chance. Do you know how much this man costs an hour?’

She had reached behind her to clutch the tie of her companion. She dragged him forward and pushed him sharply in the back.

‘This is Donald Lacson himself, straight from the law court. He may look like a constipated clerk, but believe me he’ll scalp you and skin you, won’t you, Mr Lacson?’

Mr Lacson gaped. He found himself standing between the Ribblestrop party and the demonic form of Lady Vyner, whose smile now hovered over his shoulder, her drool dripping onto his jacket.

‘Read it,’ she spluttered. ‘I want to hear it again. I want to watch their dreams ending, Mr Lacson, I want to hear the weeping of orphans.’

‘By the powers invested in me . . .’ mumbled Mr Lacson.

‘Louder, man!’

‘ . . . under sub-section thirty-two of the fourth statute . . .’

‘Oh, you’re half asleep! Cut to the last bit!’ She jabbed a finger at his paper, then snatched it from him. ‘
Leeches
,’ she cried, ‘
you are to leave
forthwith. You are to exit the building, which shall be closed against you
.’ It was as if she was in church, ejecting devils. ‘
Out, vile ones! Re-entering the said building will
render you liable to immediate arrest and prosecution!
Which is why we’ve got cameras!’ she laughed. ‘Listen to this bit, this is the best.
All
expenses for this
eviction shall be paid by you. The fees of Lacson and Lacson shall be paid by you. The services of specialist security guards and their expenses, shall be paid by you
. By you! Ha! Are you
understanding this, headmaster? Or do you need to sit down and have the children explain it to you? The school’s at an end; finished and dead, and I’m starting the Ribblestrop Nursing
Home. First customer arriving this evening.’

There was an awful silence.

‘I just wonder if that’s actually legal,’ said Ruskin. ‘I think we ought to have a good look at those papers.’

A large envelope came whistling through the air and split at the headmaster’s feet. Documents splayed out of it.

‘Mr Lacson,’ said Doonan. ‘I think we need a bit of give and take here and—’

He was silenced by a volley of ferocious barking. An enormous dog burst from a side passage, a security guard straining to hold onto its chain as it dragged him behind it. When the dog saw the
children, it went into a frenzy of howls and foam flew from its jowls.

Sanjay, who’d been in charge of the big cats in the circus, stepped forward, but Asilah held him back. The dog barked at him savagely.

Lady Vyner laughed again. ‘I’ve got three of these monsters,’ she cried. ‘I press this button and the dog squad’s here in seconds.’ She held up an electronic
device, which was flashing red between her fingers. Another dog appeared, this one silent but mad. It saw Sanjay and a yellow, rabid look came into its eyes. It started to snarl.

‘Are they ready to leave, m’lady?’ said the first handler, hauling the beast backwards. ‘I’m not sure I can hold ’er! They ’aven’t eaten for
days!’

‘I think so,’ said the old woman. ‘You don’t want your throats torn out, do you?’

Mr Lacson stepped forward with a piece of paper raised high above his head. The dogs came either side of him, baring teeth and gums. Lady Vyner stood back with her fists clenched, her face a
rictus of ecstasy. One guard hauled the main doors open and the children looked at one another, bewildered. The dogs barked yet more furiously.

‘Come on,’ said the headmaster.

‘We can’t give in!’ said Millie. ‘I am not leaving!’

‘Yes we can!’ he shouted, taking her arm. ‘We will not win this particular battle.’

‘But this isn’t fair!’ said Sam. ‘We’ve only just arrived.’

‘I can deal with the dogs,’ said Sanjay. ‘They’re pussycats, all of them – give me five minutes.’

‘No!’ said the headmaster. ‘No. A pitched battle won’t help us and I will not take unnecessary risks. As I said before, the last thing we want is another police
visit.’

‘Where do we go, sir?’ said Sanchez.

‘I don’t know,’ said the headmaster. ‘But—’

‘I do,’ said Captain Routon, grimly. ‘And I think you’re absolutely right, sir. Follow me!’ he cried. He raised an arm and signalled. The dogs set up another
hysterical volley, their claws skittering on the flagstone floor. Lady Vyner was yelling abuse, but she was inaudible, and Captain Routon led the children past her without a glance.

‘Keep together!’ he shouted. ‘Onto the lawn, please! Follow me!’

In a moment the entire school had left the building and was blinking, homeless and stunned, in the bright sunshine of the courtyard. Two of the youngest orphans were crying and Ruskin had his
arm round Oli who was white-faced. The doors slammed behind them and they heard the clanking of chains.

‘Thank goodness for that,’ said Captain Routon, after a moment.

‘What do you mean?’ said Sam. His voice was shaking. ‘Where do we go? We haven’t got a school any more.’

‘Round the back!’ shouted Anjoli. ‘Get in the back door!’

‘No,’ said Captain Routon. ‘We stay here. We stay together.’ He smiled suddenly and rubbed his hands together. ‘It’s the summer term, isn’t it? Who
needs classrooms in weather like this? I think we need to find Doctor Ellie . . .’

The teachers conferred.

‘Where do you think Doctor Ellie is?’ whispered Ruskin.

‘I don’t know,’ said Millie. ‘Are you thinking we can live in the library van?’

‘No. I’m just thinking how shocked she’s going to be.’

Captain Routon stepped up onto the fountain to address them. He was still smiling – in fact, there was an unusual smugness about his smile, as if something had excited him.

‘We’d been looking for a project this term,’ he said, ‘and I rather think we’ve found one. We’ll live off the land.’

‘How?’ said Asilah.

‘Why not go underground?’ said Kenji. ‘There’s space in all the tunnels and—’

‘My cave home’s available,’ said Tomaz. ‘We could have classes there.’

‘There’s the chapel,’ said Doonan.

Captain Routon was shaking his head. ‘We can do better,’ he said. ‘Follow me, my dears – and never say die.’

Captain Routon turned away from the school buildings and crossed the courtyard. He was soon walking fast over the lawn and the children duly followed.

‘He must have a plan,’ said Imagio. ‘Do you think he knows of a barn, or a—’

‘Don’t bank on anything,’ said Millie, bitterly. ‘I remember the first time Captain Routon led these guys on a nature ramble. They ended up under a train.’

‘He knows what he’s doing!’ said Sanchez.

‘We’re going to be in an army tent,’ said Miles. ‘Could be fun.’

‘You can’t have a school without classrooms,’ said Sam. ‘He knows that . . .’

Millie sighed. ‘It’s so typical, though, isn’t it? We only just get here and now suddenly we’re worse off than when we started. We should have stayed in the
building.’

‘And the police would have come,’ said Israel.

‘I guess we didn’t pay the rent again,’ said Asilah.

‘Why not?’

‘I think it all went on the circus.’

‘And Flavio,’ said Sanjay, remembering the owner.

‘You know he’s starting an animal retirement centre? I think the headmaster gave him money for that.’

Eric laughed. ‘We need Kenji to make us a million again.’

‘Hey, Caspar!’ said Millie, irritably. ‘Why didn’t you stop all this? She’s your gran and you knew what she was planning!’

‘I was a prisoner,’ said Caspar. ‘I was locked up, right through the holidays!’

‘Look, maybe we ought to wait and see where we’re going,’ said Sanchez. ‘There’s no point getting angry and judgemental.’

‘My God, it’s the head boy speaking,’ said Millie.

‘I want to stay positive!’ said Sanchez.

Millie laughed. ‘We haven’t even had breakfast! I’m sick of it and, I tell you, if there isn’t a good alternative waiting for us, then I’m going back to
London.’

They were moving into the woods.

Captain Routon consulted a piece of paper and found a footpath that went steeply downhill. Soon, they came to a stream and then rose up again, climbing into thick undergrowth. Five minutes
later, they were in a part of the school grounds they’d never seen before. The trees were tangled in creeper and bramble, and soared upwards, blotting out the sunlight. Captain Routon checked
his paper again and led them to a small waterfall. Everyone paddled happily up the stream for ten minutes, before branching off into an unexpected clearing. A bad-tempered braying noise greeted
them, and the children were astonished to find the school donkeys tethered to a stake in the ground. Further off, behind some low bushes, they could see the camel.

‘What’s going on?’ said Miles. ‘Is someone expecting us?’

‘That’s not possible,’ said Tomaz.

‘Where are we, then?’

‘Quite a secret bit of the wood, this,’ said Captain Routon. ‘She’s chosen well.’

‘Who has?’ said Millie.

The headmaster was red-faced from the exertion and had been at the back of the group. Kenji and Nikko had been helping him. ‘Is this the spot, Routon?’ he said. ‘It’s
certainly private enough.’