Reverence (8 page)

“If I wanted to fuck you, Nina, I would already be doing it,” he snapped, gripping my wrist.

There it was again, that instant longing. My chest rose and fell with the command of his voice. Was he doing this on purpose to fuck with me? I was aroused when I was supposed to be offended. I had more questions for him, but decided against asking them to give myself a chance to get my shit together.

His grip loosened. “I’ll stop chasing you, Nina. If that’s what you want.” Hurt spread through my chest as I looked up at him. I saw sincerity, and a twinge of worry. We’d started this too soon. I wasn’t ready for commitment, and now I knew it. I was still healing from the loss of Devin. I shouldn’t have entertained the situation, but it was too late. He had his hooks in slightly, and I loved the feel of them.

“I’ll come to you,” I murmured, grabbing the flowers he’d brought me and kissing his lips briefly. He nodded, seeming satisfied, and I got out the car, barely making it through a shower before passing out in my bed. I woke up twelve hours later to a text from Devin.

DEVIN:
We need to talk.

For fuck’s sake.

DEVIN

“Handle this or I’ll do it for you.” The phone went dead in my ear and I rolled my eyes.

Another day, another threat.

At least I’d won the majority of the war with Eileen, a situation I would never get myself into again. These days I was less the predator of the rich and unassuming and more of an unwilling puppet.

I’d let it go too far, especially with Nina.

Another unanswered text let me know it was time to let her go. I couldn’t force her to listen and she damn sure wouldn’t forgive me. Pride was not a factor in this. I had no choice but to try to get her to keep her word and sell the land back to me. Now more than ever, the risk was high, and it was only a matter of time before she would be pushed into the fire.

It couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it happen.

Did I expect her to forgive me? The tragedy was, she would never know that I loved her. That I still love her, that I would always love her.

I’d been a coward, and I’d lost the girl. I was paying penance.

Eileen had come into my office guns blazing and threatened me with every available source at her fingertips when she discovered my affair. My career, my reputation would all be disintegrated in hours. I had no choice but to take her seriously and play along. The result was a visit from a jaded and hurt Nina a month later.

“Devin, good to see you. How’s the family?” She walked past me, her speech rehearsed.

“I should have told you,” I said, mentally nailing my feet where I stood to keep from going to her. A thousand times I’d picked up my phone, a thousand times I’d put it back down. I had no excuse. And the one I had would not be the one she wanted to hear.

In this fucked up scenario, I should have been apologizing to my wife, not my mistress.

“Yes, you should have, but that’s not why I’m here.” Her voice cracked. She was trying so damn hard and I saw it in the way she carried herself. I’d hurt her. I’d hurt myself. It was for the best. Eileen was unpredictable. If she’d gone far enough to take off her clothes and pose for Nina, she meant business. I hadn’t seen her naked in years.

Manipulative, conniving cunt.

She knew I was in love with her, and looking at Nina in front of me, I knew it had never been more true.

“Okay, why are you here?”

“This.” She pointed to a piece of property on a single sheet of paper she’d pulled from her purse. “I want to purchase it for my mother. I need to know if it’s a sound investment.”

“You could have emailed,” I countered as false hope spread through my chest.

“I should have,” she said weakly. She stood and walked over to my office window in a daze.

“I never wanted to hurt you, Nina. That’s the truth, but I know it’s shit.”

“Do you love her?”

I didn’t answer, it was best if I didn’t. If I told her the truth, it would give her hope between the two of us that things could turn out differently.

“I can’t do this. I can’t pretend you didn’t ruin me.” She looked at me then with tears in her eyes and my chest cracked. “I told you I loved you, Devin. Did that mean anything to you?”

I loved her enough to tell her the truth. “It can’t.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Nina—”

Not meeting my eyes, she cut me with her words. “I said okay. Call Taylor and let her know when you’ve researched this. She’ll be the one you speak to from now on.”

I nodded, standing at my desk with my hands in my pockets.

“I miss us, you know. I thought we were happy. You seemed happy. But I guess that was a lie, too.” She looked to me to agree with her as I stood there like the fucking coward I was. “Right. Goodbye, Devin.”

She walked out that day, and I was sure it was over, until a month later when I fucked her in a coat closet. My wife had forced her to retaliate and I was Nina’s tool. I’d been cruel to her, forcing myself to act in a way so I could avoid the hole inside of me that festered when I looked at her. She’d changed as well, acting ruthless with her new friends. Friends I’d introduced her to. She carried herself well with the chip on her shoulder I’d caused, making moves against her peers our of spite, and watching their reactions with glee. I’d seen her exhibit some of the same behavior as my wife and I was disgusted by it, and took it out on her every chance I got. This was not the woman I fell for and I wound up resenting the monster I’d created.

I was ruthless with her as well, hoping that she would have the courage to once and for all rid herself of me and the chain that I was attached to. All the while, I’d never refused her sexually and taken every chance I could to have her, just one more time.

I was forcing her to give up.

And then she did.

And now it was my turn to let her go.

NINA

I walked into the bar with new resolve. Devin was my past, and Aiden was a possibility. He didn’t seem capable of hurting me the way Devin had, and I would no longer punish Aiden for the mistakes I’d made.

I was ready to try, to hope. Months of being Devin’s fuck toy had paralyzed me into believing I couldn’t be anything more. It was my fault. I’d waged heartfelt war with a woman incapable of feeling anything. I’d challenged Devin’s wife and had only seemed to aggravate her while I fell the fuck apart.

It was over.

Being capable of love was an entirely different story, but that wasn’t what Aiden was asking for. And for now, I wasn’t capable of doing it, though I saw the potential. He was worthy of the feelings I had wasted.

This
would be me moving on. Aiden was a host to everything I truly needed, and I would take full advantage. He wanted to possess me sexually and know me spiritually.

I was open to that. Guarded slightly, but open. I sat in my spot, nodding as Dave handed me a beer. Aiden looked at me and I saw a small, satisfied smile pass his lips as I sat in front of him. God, he was beautiful. He was sitting on a stool with a black acoustic guitar in his lap. He looked even more sun-kissed in a black t-shirt and dark jeans, his hair a golden, gelled mess. He struck his guitar, looking down, and I mourned his amber eyes, but admired the sharpness of his features, the broadness of his chest, the rhythm he kept with the nod of his head as he started his song.

I didn’t recognize the song, but it was absolutely beautiful. He sang it unaccompanied by the other guys and looked directly at me as he took turns strumming out the chords and tapping the side of the guitar for beat.

I was lost instantly when his deep voice moved over the words. It had a painful, soulful lilt that moved me in a way that could only be felt. He sang about attempts to steal a woman’s heart away from the wrong man. And how it confused her and she could never figure out how to truly love. I sat trying my hardest to fight the emotion brewing as he sang directly to me that I was beautiful and different and worth so much more than I gave myself credit for.

When the song finished, I kept myself seated, tears streaming down my face as he gave me the come here finger. I flew from my seat into his waiting kiss as he held me tightly to him, cat calls coming at us from every direction around the bar.

I kept my arms around him as I pulled back and questioned him, ignoring everyone around us. They didn’t exist. “God, that was beautiful. Did you write that for me?”

“No, that one belongs to Lil Wayne.” My eyes widened as he chuckled.

“The rapper?”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure he wrote it for a stripper.” Aiden laughed loudly as I slapped his chest playfully.

“Don’t be so judgmental, woman. Look at you, you’re a mess.” Wiping the tears from under my eyes gently, he showed me the evidence. I smiled as he kissed me again and I turned around, finally acknowledging the crowd with a bow.

I stayed until he finished his set and he joined me at my table.

“You keep singing to me like that, and I may make a habit of coming out.”

“That’s the plan,” he whispered, kissing me sweetly before cupping his beer and taking a sip.

“I’m here to ask you for a date.” My hands were all over him, caressing his chest, playing with the hair on the back of his head. I couldn’t help but notice the hint of a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Okay, so I’m a fucking fiend. I get it.

We made small talk as I told him about Taylor and how I was excited about the expansion of Scott Solutions. He listened intently, his smirk deepening with each subtle touch I gave him, a telling sign of my need.

“Nina,” he said after half an hour of my rambling and stroking his beautiful skin. “Do you need me to take care of you?” Instead of hanging my head in shame, I nodded. Aiden took my hand, leading me down a tiny hallway into a small office. The walls and ceiling were painted pitch black. There was a laptop, a chair, and a lone decoration in the form of a poster on the wall of the Foo Fighters.

“I love the Foo Fighters,” I said nervously. Aiden’s expression went from humorous to dark and lustful as he shut the door and I attacked, jumping into his arms and licking his lips. He captured my tongue, sucking it eagerly as clothes began to fly around the room. Naked, I stood waiting as he looked over me and I did the same. He was tall, perfectly cut and broad. Between his thick muscular thighs lay my salvation, if only for the moment. He licked his lips as he eyed my stiffening nipples.

“What do you want?” Pain shot through my chest at the question. It was Devin’s question. I pushed it aside, my need for the man in front of me growing with each passing and naked second.

“Hard, really hard.” That was an answer.

He gripped my neck and spun me around, pushing me against the wall.

“Spread your legs.” Aiden was in rare form as I leaned back, gripping him in my hand. He pressed my face hard against the rough surface. “Did I say you could touch that?”

“No.” I smiled through the pain, loving the way his voice sounded. He moved from my grip and slapped my ass in a way so that I parted my legs further. He tested my arousal and groaned, seeming satisfied.

“Always so wet, naughty Nina. Tell me, do you think it’s enough for my cock?” I forced my wrist behind me as I again took him in my hand and felt his huge thickness. I moaned at my assessment and he thrust into my hand once.

“She wants it hard,” he whispered into my neck before biting my shoulder and thrusting his fingers inside me before sliding them between my ass cheeks. I let out a surprised gulp of air as he rimmed me with his soaked digits.

“I’m going to fuck you everywhere, in every way.” He pulled my hair so I was forced to look up. “Do you hear me?”

“Yes,” I gasped, my arousal dripping.

He pulled the rolling chair over and turned me, binding my wrists to the handle. When I looked at my now secured hands, I could see the guitar string digging into my skin.

Resourceful guy.

With a slap on the ass, he pushed the tip of himself inside me, rubbing it over every part of me, and then pushed the chair away so I was stretched painfully on my tip toes, just short of falling forward.

“Aiden, please.”

“I love it when you beg.” Without warning, he pounded into me full force, pulling the chair back to him as he covered my hands on the handles. The sensation of being full was magnified as he used my body to deliver his cock with so much force I was screaming.

“Keep it down, or I’ll make it hurt.”

I ignored him, my body ripping with pleasure as he impaled me inch by inch, thrust by thrust.

“I warned you.” He slapped me hard, only intensifying the pleasure and then painfully shoved three fingers into my ass. I came hard and loud, hearing the slickness of my orgasm as he continued his assault.

“Quiet, Nina, or I’ll make you pay.” I lay my head in the chair, biting my tongue as he fucked me ruthlessly with his dick and fingers, bringing me up again to a furious orgasm before I floated away. Aiden was relentless as he continued to pound and pound, his heavy balls slapping my clit furiously. I felt him stiffen with his oncoming orgasm and he pulled out of me, putting the tip of him inside my puckered entrance before coming with a harsh breath. I shrieked at the sudden intrusion as he slid in further, his second wave filling my ass with his hot release and pushing in the rest of the way. I cried out as his fingers found my clit, thumping once then twice as I came again, his dick still filling me and keeping me full. It didn’t stop as Aiden continually thumped my center as it pulsed and aided my orgasm, making it last and last.

I praised him over and over as he pulled his softening cock from me, rubbing the slick hole with himself.

“You like being fucked in the ass?”

“God, yes,” I said, no longer ashamed of my need. “Anywhere, everywhere,” the whore in me told him.

“This is mine,” he reiterated, sticking his once again hard cock into my backside.

“Oh, God, yes, Aiden,” I said as tears streamed down my face. “I fucking love it.”

He pulled out of me, untying my wrists and sat in the chair, pulling me onto his lap. I sat there catching my breath as his hardness between my open legs tickled my clit.

“I would love to see if you can come this way, but I think were out of time,” he whispered, cupping both my breasts from underneath my arms, enclosing me as he stroked my sensitive skin.

“I came here to ask for a date, not sodomy,” I giggled.

“Well, you can have them both. When is our date?” He nuzzled my neck and I stood up to gather my clothes.

“Tomorrow night. Do you have a tux?”

“I have one, yes.”

“Carson and I will pick you up at seven.” Pulling on my jeans, I appreciated his beautiful body as he reluctantly dressed.

“You could skip the set and make me scream again,” I said, looking at him from underneath my lashes. He moved toward me, tilting my head for a long slow kiss.

“You should probably sneak out unless you want to witness my first standing ovation.”

I made it home and spent hours in the gym exhausting my ridiculous new libido. Even in my sated state, I wanted more. I knew this could eventually be a problem, but for now, I would choose to ignore it. I would start asking questions and getting answers from the source. I still wasn’t sure that the two men who consumed me were in any way connected, but our lives seemed so separated, I put that worry to bed along with thoughts of Devin, who seemed to be getting irritated by my refusal to see him.

DEVIN:
Talk to me or I come to you.

It was a threat I needed to take seriously. Hearing from him in any capacity still had my heart beating faster, my chest rising and falling with memories both sweet and sensual. He’d been everything I needed, everything I thought I’d wanted, but I’d ignored all the warning signs.

With Aiden, I would do better, try harder, attempt to make the intense sexual relationship into something more. I owed it to myself to be
someone’s
, not someone’s whore.

Aiden seemed to embrace my sexuality and handled it like a pro. I didn’t have time to worry if he would tire of me. I was busying myself with happy thoughts as I drifted to sleep while we texted each other.